Author's note: Well, since the manga is now available over here, maybe a
few
more readers have gotten the chance to know "Azumanga Daioh!" As always,
C&C
is much needed and appreciated, either private or public.

-----------------


This is Tokyo, she of the glittering lights and blinding streets. A
metropolis of dreams and stories, of shining towers of steel and glass
and quaint ancestral homes. It is also a city of laws and conflicts,
though often crime can vex those in charge of meting out justice.
      This is the case of one such crime.
      The school's parking lot was strewn with wet leaves and petals,
fallen victims of the torrential storm that had just passed. Most, if
not all of the cars were covered under a blanket of pink and green.
Overhead, the blooming cherry trees still dripped heavily from the
downpour.
      An ordinary calico cat was happily licking its paws on the hood of
a small blue sedan, savoring the lingering taste of its most recent
meal. Its peace was interrupted, though, when a sudden, excited shriek
tore through the scene and shook windows up to miles away. Terrified, it
leapt onto the ground and ran as far away as its nine lives would take
it.
      "Woo-hooo! School's out, it's chow time!"
      Minamo Kurosawa winced as her friend shrieked to the top of her
lungs again. Ahead of her, Yukari Tanizaki effectively danced in joy and
impatience as they neared the parking lot.
      "Honestly, you're making so much racket for such a little thing!"
the blue-haired gym teacher chided.
      Yukari whirled and pointed at her accusingly. "You're just jealous
that I get to eat a whole delicious box of Hokkaido crab and you're not,
Nyamo-chan!"
      Nyamo sighed and put a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe you
spent so much on crab only to eat it all by yourself."
      "If I can't splurge on something for myself once in a while, why
bother earning a salary?" Yukari stated logically.
      "But you splurge all the time, and it's always for yourself,"
Nyamo admonished.  She shook her head. "And why did you *have* to leave
it in my car, anyway?"
      Yukari faced her again and scowled, "To keep everyone else's dirty
stinking paws off it!" Clenching a fist, she went on, "You saw the look
on their faces when the mail boy brought it to the teacher's lounge!
They were drooling all over it!"
      "That was you doing the drooling."
      "So I pleaded for the help of my friend to keep my precious crab
in the safety of her locked car!"
      "You dragged me out of gym class to give you my key-- Huh?"
      Yukari shrugged, oblivious to how her friend had paused in
mid-stride. "Tomatos, tomatoes. Hey, you think ketchup goes well with
crab?" There was no answer, not even a glib comment. Turning around, she
called, "Hey, Nyamo--"
      But Nyamo was standing stock-still, her face locked in a rictus of
horror and her shoulders shaking not unlike jello on a paint mixer. She
only lifted a trembling hand to point ahead, towards her car. Puzzled,
Yukari turned forward again and stared.
      "Agh!" Yukari exclaimed, grasping at her hair with her hands.
      "AAAH! AAAH! AAAAAH!" Nyamo's trademark freak-out started
full-blast. There was a gaping hole smashed through her car's rear left
window. A small piece of glass from the upper edge swung gently, then
dropped with a *tinkle*.
      "MY CAR!" she finally yelled.
      "MY CRAB!" Yukari cried, pushing Nyamo aside as tears streamed
down her cheeks. She raced towards the battered vehicle, hoping against
hope that her precious delicacy had escaped unscathed from the ravages
of suburban crime. Nyamo just floated in dismay towards her poor, poor
sedan.
      What greeted Yukari, however, instead of frozen seafood from the
finest breeders in Hokkaido, was a violated cardboard box and a few
strips of plastic wrapping that reeked heavily of crab. Glass and bits
of packaging littered the soaked back seat, beside a few sakura petals
that had fallen from the tree next to the car. Nyamo's insurance slip
was already throbbing in pain.
      As the two teachers bawled over their horrible loss, a trio of
students chatted obliviously as they walked past the parking lot. The
shortest one, though, was quick to notice the adults' distress and
asked, "Yukari-sensei?"
      Yukari dimmed her sobbing just enough to face her and moan,
"Chiyo-chaan... My crab's gone..."
      "A!" the long-haired one blinked, "Yukari-sensei had crabs?"
      "Baka Osaka!" the girl with short hair groaned. "It's seafood!
Yukari-chan told us she got some at noon, remember?"
      "Aa..." Osaka drifted off, then turned to her friend, "Yomi-chan
had crabs once... Have you had crabs, Tomo-chan?"
      Tomo winced, "Geh-- what's that supposed to mean?!"
      "What happened, sensei?" Chiyo asked, leaving her friends to
squabble. "Who did that to your car?"
      "Wish I knew," Nyamo composed herself, already thinking about
repair shops that fell within her budget. "Maybe Yukari was right after
all. Someone DID want that crab bad enough to break into my car."
      "A break-in...?" At that point, Osaka's eyes widened and she went,
"AH!" With a start, she dropped her book bag and raced back into the
school. Tomo and Chiyo blinked in her wake.
      In a matter of instants, Osaka came running back, carrying several
rolls of toilet paper in her arms. She set them carefully next to
Nyamo's car, then fixed the end of a roll inside the hood. Then she
diligently unrolled a perimeter of toilet paper around Nyamo's car and
the tree beside it.
      "Osaka-san, what are you..." Chiyo began.
      "This is a crime scene," Osaka deadpanned.
      "Crime scene?" Tomo frowned quizzically.
      "Crime scene."
      Osaka proceeded to cage a few other cars within her perimeter.
Yukari, seizing the chance to snap at someone, bellowed, "Damn right
this is a crime scene! And I demand justice!"
      "Shh!" Osaka silenced her and pressed an ear against Nyamo's car.
"The evidence is talking to me." And indeed the car emitted a brief beep
as Nyamo used her key ring to turn the alarm off. "A! It did talk!"
Osaka exclaimed, stepping away from it.
      Then her face took a quizzical look as she took notice of the
smashed glass and ruined window. "Aa, as I thought..." she said
astutely. "Looks like the perpetrator's window of opportunity."
      Before any of the others could groan at her statement, an American
rock song suddenly started blasting out of nowhere. All eyes turned to
glare at the newly-arrived interloper.
      "Uh, sorry," Kagura said, turning down her radio. "Don't like The
Who, huh?"


*****************

CSO:
Crime Scene Osaka

*****************


CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is the property of CBS Broadcasting Inc.
Azumanga Daioh! belongs to Kiyohiko Azuma/Media Works. English version
copyright ADV Films.

No profit is made from this work of fiction. It is for the entertainment
of fellow fans only.






      "Hm? What happened here?" Yomi asked as she approached the
sealed-off crime scene. Sakaki followed closely, her mind still absorbed
by that adorable little calico she had spotted earlier in the day. It
was a shame that it had scratched at her finger and run away before she
could cuddle it.
      "Ah, Yomi, Sakaki!" Kagura came forward to meet them while Osaka
and the others examined Nyamo's car. "Hurry over, Osaka says she needs
help here."
      Yomi frowned, catching a glimpse of the vehicle's broken window.
"What's going on?"
      "Ah, someone broke into Nyamo-sensei's car," Kagura explained.
"They say they were just coming up to take out some seafood Yukari
wanted when they saw the window all smashed up. All that's left of the
crab is a box and some wrappings." Yomi nodded in acknowledgement; she
remembered their teacher's outbursts of delight as she gloated to the
class about the Hokkaido crab she had just received.
      "Thank you, Captain Exposition," Tomo mocked as she placed a hand
on Kagura's shoulder. "But we already cracked the case wide open!
Behold!" She motioned towards Osaka and Chiyo.
      "Sensei, your window is busted," Osaka said.
      "I KNOW THAT!" Nyamo snapped.
      "We're, uh, still working out the details," Tomo giggled and
grinned impishly.
      "Why don't they call school security?" Sakaki asked quietly.
      "We did! Those lazy jerks were no help," Tomo groused. "They say
that they didn't see anyone suspicious around here, and the police won't
come because it's an act of nature."
      "Nature?" Sakaki repeated.
      "Yeah, we found this branch..." Kagura motioned for them to follow
her around the crime scene and towards the tree to the side of Nyamo's
car. "That one," she said, pointing at a rather large broken limb that
was leaning against the trunk of the cherry tree.
      It wasn't very long, and had few budding knots growing out of it,
but it was almost a foot thick at its widest point. Narrowing her eyes,
Yomi crouched beside it and examined it. "Hmmm..." She carefully
fingered the jagged and blackened end where it had been severed from the
tree. Looking up, she confirmed that there was indeed a broken branch
jutting out from the trunk just above the car. Like the limb that lay
before her, its end was burnt and blackened.
      "There was some lightning during the storm we just had," Yomi
said. "Remember that one that rattled the classroom's windows?"
      "Yeah, the guards said that it must've gotten blasted by the
lightning and it broke through the window," Kagura said. They pictured
an anonymous bolt of lightning striking the branch and severing it,
causing it to topple into the rear passenger door.
      "But that doesn't explain where the crab went," Yomi contested.
      Kagura grimaced. "Uh, Yukari-sensei kinda got mad at the guards
and scared them away. They, um, they won't come back because they're
afraid of her."
      Yomi snorted in annoyance. "Huh. Figures they'd weasel out just
before a long weekend. Anyway, we'll need some equipment if we're really
going to help figure out who stole that crab." Standing up, she ran the
necessary items through her mind and continued, "Sakaki, Kagura, take
this branch back inside to one of the storerooms, see what you can find
on it. I'll get Chiyo-chan to come with me so they let us use it for a
day or two."
      "What are you gonna find in that branch?" Tomo clucked. "It's just
a hunk of wood, right?"
      "Someone must have pulled it out and placed it here," Sakaki
explained, following Yomi's train of thought. "They might have left
something of themselves behind."
      "Exactly," Yomi nodded. "Tomo, I want you to look around the
parking lot and see if you can find anything unusual."
      "Roger that!" Tomo saluted and whizzed away to mug nearby cars,
trash cans and the random passerby for evidence.
      "We don't gotta lot of time," Kagura said. "Nyamo-sensei wants to
take her car to the shop before it gets dark."
      "We'll just have to hurry and take everything we can back inside."
She exclaimed, "Ah! That's right, Kaorin was using a digital camera
during gym class, and she's still at the library. Let's see if we can
borrow it for a few days." Kagura and Sakaki nodded.
      Meanwhile, Chiyo and Nyamo stared at Yukari, appalled.
"Yukari-sensei... what are you..." Chiyo croaked weakly.
      "My craaab... my craaab..." Yukari, her face a mask of absolute
despair, whimpered as she suckled on one of the leftover plastic
wrappings from the box. She was convinced there was still a little taste
of Hokkaido left in it.
      "Yukari, that's... disgusting," Nyamo shuddered.
      Osaka pouted slightly. "Aa, sensei, please don't eat my evidence."


                  ~who are you?~


Once they had secured permission from the principal to use store room
A2, the group quickly went to work collecting evidence from the site.
Chiyo began the operation by snapping shots of the vehicle's interior,
taking special care with the window and the soaked back seat. There
wasn't much to be discovered visually from the seat or the crab box
itself, but as she took a snapshot of the smashed window from the inside
of the car, she blinked in puzzlement and zoomed into a tiny dark red
droplet that clung to the sharp edge of the glass. She took a picture of
that, as well as a larger streak of red along a separate section of the
edge.
      The parking lot yielded a few more clues to the mystery, in the
shape of a few largish spots of spilled blood and a discarded tissue
under the car, also stained with blood. Chiyo shivered a bit in
queasiness and dutifully documented her findings.
      Once Chiyo was done with the car, Kagura clenched her duct-tape
covered fist and slapped it against every last square inch of the
upholstery, a tactic recommended to her by Sakaki for catching any
incriminating hairs or particles hidden in the fabric of the back seat.
Aside from the expected blue and brown strands, there were a couple of
short, thick hairs as well as an invisibly-thin thread that she couldn't
identify. She stored these in a plastic zip-loc after removing them from
the tape.
      Tomo had little luck with the passerby, though. Also, aside from a
thick carpet of leaves and cherry petals, the parking lot was devoid of
any unusual bits and pieces that wouldn't be found at a public high
school anyway. And since the janitor had emptied out the trash cans some
time after the rain, all she could come up with was a Hello Kitty
band-aid wrapping.
      Yomi had similar luck with Yukari and Nyamo. Though the former was
absolutely certain that an envious coworker had tracked her precious
crab down to the latter's car, neither teacher could tell whether there
actually *was* anyone suspicious enough to do that. Aside from the
teachers, only Yukari's class even knew about the package in the first
place.
      "It's clear to me, then!" Yukari snapped. "One of the other
teachers must have snuck out during class and swiped my crab!"
      "I don't think so," Yomi said. "Didn't you say you first got it
during lunch, when all the teachers were at the lounge?"
      "And it stopped raining right before classes ended..." Sakaki
continued.
      "A!" Osaka pointed at the sky. "The guy we're looking for must be
waterproof! Or maybe a crab-eating thunder god..." Looking upwards, she
continued, "The sacrifice of crab must have appeased its anger, and the
rain stopped."
      The teachers and Yomi just stared at her silently for a moment.
      "...no," Yomi stated simply. "But still, it would have been
suspicious for a teacher to step out of class in the middle of a
thunderstorm. Even if he carried an umbrella, someone would have noticed
wet footprints in the halls or something..."
      Nyamo's shoulders slumped, "Well, at least I know that nobody
broke into my car, but I don't know if my insurance will cover it."
Sighing, she pulled out her keys and began to walk away from the group.
"Hope you can find Yukari's thief, guys," she said over her shoulder as
she headed for her sedan.
      Yukari stared after her in shock. "W-wait, Nyamooo!" She strode
towards her friend. "Y... you can't just leave me here in my moment of
distress!"
      "All right, fine, I'll drop you off at your place," Nyamo rolled
her eyes. "But I really need to leave my car at the shop before it
closes! I can't leave it like this until tomorrow!"
      "Uh..." Yukari mulled over this for a moment, weighing her
inability to help with the case against having to walk or --she
grimaced-- taking public transportation back home. Nyamo's comfy (if
recently drafty) ride won the battle.
      The three girls escorted their teachers back to the car, where
Chiyo and the others had finished their work. After a quick, "Good
luck!" from Nyamo and a dark glare from Yukari, the car started and
began to roll away.
      "Hm?" Osaka blinked. "Sensei, wait!"
      "What is it?" Nyamo brought the car to a stop.
      Osaka approached the broken window and peeked her head in,
sniffing intently near the place where the crab package had been. Kagura
and Chiyo looked at each other. They hadn't noticed any smells other
than seafood during their examination.
      "Peach," Osaka stated, then drew her head out of the car again and
faced Nyamo. "Sensei, your car smells like peach."
      "I don't smell anything," Yukari shrugged. Smiling venomously, she
poked Nyamo in the arm and teased, "New perfume, Nyamo-chan? Or maybe a
new guy's lotion?"
      "S-shut up!" the gym teacher screeched. "That's completely wrong!
I haven't even dated anyone in about two-- Er... I mean..." She tried
valiantly to regain her composure and cleared her throat. "Right. So,
have fun with your mystery, everyone. At least my repairs will end up
cheaper than Yukari's crab."
      The girls just watched the car continue onwards while a miniature
combat erupted inside it. "Yukari-sensei knows kung-fu..." Osaka said
dreamily.
      "...right," Yomi sighed in aggravation, then turned to the others.
"Did you guys find anything?"
      "Just this," Kagura showed her a trio of plastic zip-loc baggies.
The first contained the odd hair and thread from the back seat; the
second had shards from the window itself, a few of them showing small
drops of some strange blue substance similar to hair gel. The Hello
Kitty band-aid wrapper was stored in the third bag.
      "We have those, the branch and the package," Chiyo counted out
with her fingers. "We have the pictures too," she continued, letting
Osaka take the digital camera, "but it's not enough to know who did it."
      "It's enough to start," Yomi smiled at her. "Come on, guys, let's
take this back and try to puzzle it out."
      "Puzzle?" Osaka tilted her head, contemplating the word while the
others took the evidence to their impromptu "lab." Letting out a tiny
gasp, she quickly stepped towards the blood drops on the asphalt and
kneeled beside them. "The thief is hurt," she whispered, her voice
betraying a hint of worry.
      Almost as an afterthought, she glanced at the camera's display,
which was still set on the last picture it had taken: the glass shards
strewn over the back seat. There was no blood at all among them. She
blinked.
      "He hurt himself on the way out," she deduced. With a frown, she
concentrated on the dried blood spots, her sight zooming onto them. "He
stole sensei's crabby fish after it rained, too."
      She heard Chiyo call out for her just as the others entered the
school building. Osaka wobbled a bit as she stood up, stared at the
blood for a second more, and called back, "I'm coming, Chiyo-chan! Wait
for me!"


      To be continued


-----------------

Jorge A. Pratt

jorgepratt@prodigy.net.mx

terbril@rocketmail.com



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