----- Original Message -----
From: "Thermopyle" <Thermopyle@tds.net>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>; "Alan" <chibipoe@mindspring.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2003 5:28 PM
Subject: Re: [FFML] [Sailor Moon] [AU] Alternate Views 01

Trying out a different email program, hopefully this will work okay.
^_^;

Stylistic choice, that's all. Mostly to stress that this isn't the
standard Sailor Moon, who makes a lot of pretty speeches
and only rarely shows any sort of competence at what she does.

Yeah, and that works fine.  After the title, though, it seems like
you deliberately put off naming Sailor Moon for a little while and
that's kind of annoying.  We know who she is by that point.

Noted. Will see what I can do about that.

Yeah.  I don't mind the coping, it's just the way she copes bothers
me.  Like I said, she seems like the typical sarcastic superhero type
that us Americans are so fond of using in everything.  It's difficult
to see her reacting like that.  Similar, in a way, to fics in which
all the girls start demonstrating Girl Power and saying "Talk to the
hand" and such.  You can sense the author's presense quite strongly.
:)

The Girl Power bit reminds me of episode 13 of the anime, which I recently
got to see subbed. And Jadeite's speech about how they were weak little
girls getting the response of, basically, Girl Power, from Moon, Mercury,
and Mars. */random*

I suppose there's an element of that. I was going more for vengeful and
pissed off, hence the mocking of everything it tried to do. Don't know how
well I succeeded. That is, of course, up to the readers to decide.

Hm.  Still don't know if I believe she'd be patient enough for that--
she did, after all, cut Jaedite off more than once.  The time one of
Beryl's assistants helped him, Jaedite was about to bring home energy
or kill the Senshi, I forget which, and she was in too much of a rush
to scold him for it to happen.  Later on she didn't even listen when
he knew the Senshi's identities.  So...her being patient doesn't fit
for me.  As long as you're aware of that, though....  ^_^;

Well. She is a bit different as well. Impatient!Beryl doesn't quite work
here, so that had to be changed somewhat.

Okay.  As long as you've got something going on--if you didn't, then
there'd be some problems to be worked out.  :)

There's still some things I'm working out, but, for the most part, I know
where it's going. (Assuming that I can keep them from going off on tangents
like Rei is doing right now. -_-)

Yeah, the four years thing I did remember being mentioned from
Jaedite's POV, I think, but this is AU so it's hard to tell if that
changed or not.

Nope. still four years difference.

As for the cop part...as I said, it can be seen in what you have
written there, at least to some extent.

*nod* Kind of unavoidable, especially once you see exactly what sort of
place she works for as a photojournalist.

I dunno.  I liked Jadeite.  He's certainly better than Nephrite.  ^_^

I have a fondness for him as well, which is why I am trying to flesh him out
here. He gets woefully underused in the anime, and is, arguably, the most
cardboard of the Generals, which is rather sad, but oh well.

Right.  But Jadeite did notice it, so I'd think that he would try to
figure it out.

And learn... what? Her identity? All he would have found out was that a
police report labelled it as a random attack by unknown parties, with the
comment that the single coherent survivor claimed it was a monster. And the
youma follow orders most of the time. If nothing else, anyway. So he
wouldn't really find out all that much. And anyway, as I said, they didn't
appear to have too much of a grasp of human society, and thus he wouldn't
think to do that.
Then again, it could just be that he's honorable and thus, deems her reasons
her own and isn't going to pry because that would be disrespectful. Who
knows? :)

They haven't met each other before this. Usagi has been playing amateur
detective off and on trying to learn who the 'Gentleman Bandit' is, but
Tuxedo Kamen has never appeared before Sailor Moon before this night.

Why he

appeared now... well. That's another story.

Okay.  I am curious about what justification you have in mind for it.

I'm going to rework that one so it flows better and he doesn't come off
quite so confused. But, essentially, he was passing by on his way to steal
something else..

Well, there are substantial differences, I will admit. Working on your

own

like this isn't likely to contribute to your sense of cheerfulness.

But...but...I'm cheerful!  Then again, I don't go around killing
stuff with head ornaments....

Well, she does that -now-. Again, there are reasons why they call her
Destroyer.

See elsewhere. And as I think I already said. This is a Princess who

isn't

pleased with her mother's choices for her future, and thus, rumors like

that

benefit her wants and desires, whether they are true or not. But, I will
clarify since that isn't as apparent as it should be.
Also, will fix the comment about the Queen. (Though, I don't see that,
myself. She's a Queen. They're her Soldiers. They're bringing her

important

info and thus, she's closeted with them in council often.)

Oh, sure.  It's just that the phrasing and placement are suspect.  :)

Royalty and such is, admittedly, teeming with innuendo and such.

Where's her brother?

Institutionalised in a coma, as Lurker so cannily deduced. :)

I'd really like to see a scene of Usagi trying (and failing) to talk
to him here.  You do get some of the depression worked in, but I
don't get any real sense of desperation on Usagi's part.  Her life
has just been ripped to shreds and I want to see that pain, you know?

You sir, have given me an idea. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, I am interested.  :)

Good. :)

No, but the delivery here (just as at the beginning of the chapter)
works around revealing the character's identity.  That makes it feel
as though the character is supposed to be a mystery even though
they're easy enough to figure out.

Well, I liked the touch of, in the anime, that she wasn't given a civilian
name(i.e. it was not revealed until she said it aloud, to Usagi.) So I kept
that. She's keeping a low profile. :)

Rei does seem to that.  :)

Yes, and it's completely irritating considering the tangent she's taken it
off on  has consumed the second part, and is looking like I'll have to set
it aside for later, due to it not helping the immediate plot at all. I mean,
wonderful stuff that is coming out, but... gah. Not Yet, Rei. *sigh* Ah
well.

Heh.  I kind of expect some tension between Jadeite and his youma
underlings over this, then.  If she's got the nickname Destroyer,
they should be more than a little hesitant to mix with her.  :)

Which is why the youma ran as soon as it had the opportunity in the Tuxedo
Kamen scene. Most of them don't get such a chance. She either runs them down
and brutally finishes them off, or kills them in the first few minutes of
combat. And that's if she's being generous.




Alan


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'