At 9:42 PM -0500 15/11/2003, Frederick Herriot wrote:
"I really should be headin' back to Nerima.
People been starting
to ask too damn many questions. Especially one
person." Dark
thoughts of Nabiki passed through Ranma's mind.
=> "People've been starting to ask..."
Your suggestion is better grammar, but the version as written
fits Ranma's speech patterns better (or at least his speech
patterns as we've been seeing them in this story).
"Oh. No, it's just Hidden Weapons technique.
It's a martial art
I know only a little bit about-- there's this guy I
know who has what
I can only call true mastery of it-- but what it is is
forcing the
weave of reality to accept a foreign object by the
manipulation of
chi."
=> "No, it's just my using a Hidden Weapons
technique."
Again, the original version fits Ranma better.
"You're afraid you'll lose him. Because you've
been every bit as
big a jerk as he'd been. Just in different ways. And
you're
beginning to realize that."
=> "...every bit as big of a jerk as he's been."
??? The word "of" has no meaningful place in this sentence.
It was perfectly correct as written.
You're right, though, that it should probably be "he's been".
"What are you people talking about oh my GOD,"
Case choked out,
as Naoko wavered, and began a definite male in loose
Chinese
garments. Akane stared, her confused fears proven, as
Cologne
continued to giggle and Wong blinked, startled that
his crude
deduction was correct.
=> "What are you people talking about...? Oh, my
GOD!"
Hmm, this one is debatable, but I kind of like the original.
It effectively shows a mid-speech change in direction, whereas
your version suggests the speaker trailing off before the
outburst.
I do agree with all your other comments. :)
Cheers,
Angus