--- Michael A Chase <mchase@ix.netcom.com> wrote: > 

I'd almost given up on seeing more of this, so I'm
very glad to see it.
Any word on Redheads or Girl Days?

Ditto here.  Well, here's my two won's worth...

****

    Sailor Moon nodded.  That was probably the best
way to do it...
She was distracted as Naoko wavered again, becoming...
someone who
most definitely NOT Naoko.

=> "...who most definitely was NOT Naoko."

****

    Episode Five: Ranma and Usagi, Sailor Moon and
Paragon!  Unlikely
alliances are forged!

=> "Ranma and Usagi, Paragon and Sailor Moon!"

****

    "Hmmm... how to explain this... simply put, we
hadn't expected
for you to wind up in a situation that would trigger
the Fusing so
soon.  We'd expected the enemy, the Dark, to continue
with assaults
on passerby.  Instead they decided to try to kill you
directly."

=> "...assaults on passers-by."

****

    He began to glower.  "The rose is wimpy.  He's
just a cheerleader
for the Sailor Senshi.  Who is this weakling, anyway,
lets girls
fight for him?  Damn it, I sometimes want to go over
to those tables
and show them just what a rose can do--"

=> "'The rose is wimpy.  He's just a cheerleader for
the Sailor Senshi.  Who is this weakling, anyway, lets
girls fight for him?'  Damn it, I sometimes want to go
over to those tables and show them just what a rose
can do--"

****

    "Hey, works for me, Usagi-sempai.  You ever need
to let off
steam, Mamoru-kun, I'm willing to be listen.  I rarely
drink beer,
tho."

=> "...drink beer, though." OR "...drink beer, tho'."

****

    "I really should be headin' back to Nerima. 
People been starting
to ask too damn many questions.  Especially one
person."  Dark
thoughts of Nabiki passed through Ranma's mind.

=> "People've been starting to ask..."

****

    "Awww."  Usagi never liked to see a new friend
leave-- and here
were two in one.  "Hey, you should give me your phone
number in case
something happens when you're not here."

=> "...and here was two in one."

****

    "Well, it's ain't!  I got a, um, fiancee, and
she's a bit
jealous, and kinda leaps to the wrong idea about
things, so if a girl
calls asking for Ranma, well..."  (And that's not to
mention what the
hell would happen of Pops or old man Tendo picked up
the phone, and
if Nabiki did-- oh, god.  Be even worse if Mom did. 
SHE'D be all for
something that ain't there.)

=> ...the hell would happen if Pops or old man
Tendou..."

****

    "How refreshing.  Well, thank you for taking care
of me,
Chiba-san, while I was out.  And I'm certain Ranma
will be pleased to
spend time with you should you need a sounding board."
 She bowed,
and as she and Usagi left, Mamoru shivered a bit.  The
boy turned
girl's act was SCARILY good...

=> "The boy-turned-girl's act was SCARY...!"

****

    Usagi nodnodded.  "That's so clever!  I wish I
could be clever
like that."

=> "Usagi nodded." OR "Usagi nod-nodded."

****

    "Oh.  No, it's just Hidden Weapons technique. 
It's a martial art
I know only a little bit about-- there's this guy I
know who has what
I can only call true mastery of it-- but what it is is
forcing the
weave of reality to accept a foreign object by the
manipulation of
chi."

=> "No, it's just my using a Hidden Weapons
technique."

****

    And he'd been... polite about it.  Polite about
something so
horrible that had it been forced on her, she would
have raised no end
of a stink. 

=> "And he'd been... POLITE about it."

****

    "You're afraid you'll lose him.  Because you've
been every bit as
big a jerk as he'd been.  Just in different ways.  And
you're
beginning to realize that."

=> "...every bit as big of a jerk as he's been."

****

    "What are you people talking about oh my GOD,"
Case choked out,
as Naoko wavered, and began a definite male in loose
Chinese
garments.  Akane stared, her confused fears proven, as
Cologne
continued to giggle and Wong blinked, startled that
his crude
deduction was correct.

=> "What are you people talking about...?  Oh, my
GOD!"

****

    "I'm Ranma Saotome, I'm a part time girl because I
have to be a
magical girl sometimes to save the world."  He paused,
and added,
"And I one damn bit sorry about it at all!"

=> "...I'm a part-time girl because..." AND "And I'm
not one damn bit sorry about it at all!"

****

How's that?

Fred

=====
<P><STRONG><EM><FONT face="Courier New">Fred Herriot AKA P'yeknu OR Gorgo</FONT></EM></STRONG></P>
<P>**** **** ****</P>
<P><A href="mailto:fherriot@yahoo.com">fherriot@yahoo.com</A></P>
<P>**** **** ****</P>
<P><A href="http://www.livejournal.com/~pyeknu/">http://www.livejournal.com/~pyeknu/</A></P>

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