This is a short story. I know, hard to believe I wrote an actual short
story, but it is, really. It also eventually turns R-rated, so be
forewarned.
Displaced
An Utena Fanfic
By John Biles
**********
Wakaba Said:
Yeah, I was surprised too. I mean, when I think about it, really,
it seems kinda inevitable. It's like they were made for each other. He's
so handsome, and she's so beautiful, and they're both so elegant. You
should have seen them at the Homecoming Ball, dancing together. I was so
jealous I could have died.
He asked me to dance, that was the most amazing part. I mean, he
could have been dancing with her, but instead, he came over and asked me
to dance. I mean, we've met, but Utena is closer to him than I am. She
seems to know the whole student council, though I'm not sure how. And
some of them don't like her very much.
So, once I pulled myself together, I took his hand and let him
lead me out onto the dance floor. He dances wonderfully, you know. Or
maybe you don't. Well, take my word for it. I'm not very good at
dancing, not like she is. She was off dancing with the student council
president while I was dancing with him.
We were waltzing. I think. I twirled about and followed his lead
and did the steps as best I could. When we reached the end of the music,
he clicked his stop watch. Eight minutes and thirty three seconds. I
still don't know if this was a good or a bad time. But he smiled to me
and thanked me for dancing with him. Thanked _me_ for dancing with _him_.
I'd dance with him any time.
His sister was there, dancing with Saionji. She looked more
dignified than usual, probably because she was dancing with Saionji, who
can make anyone look dignified. I still can't understand why she is so
skanky. Probably he got all the good bits and she got all the bad bits,
given they're twins, I suppose.
So, once I was done with Miki, he went and danced with Anthy,
while I waited for someone else to come and ask me to dance. And watched
Saionji dance with Kozue. I know. I shouldn't stare, shouldn't even
think I might have a chance with someone like that. Especially given he's
been so cruel to me. It's stupid. And I know it. But there's just
something about my heart...it never listens to reason.
Sometimes that's good, and sometimes that's bad. I know it's bad
when it comes to Saionji, but I can't resist ice cream either. Saionji
and ice cream...sorry. Back to my story.
So, I'm waiting for someone to dance with me, but my luck isn't
very good. Finally, Utena takes a break from dancing and comes to get a
drink. Before Anthy can drag her off as usual, I decided to swoop in.
Hey, she's my best friend, I can dance with her, you know.
Utena smiles and takes me by the hand. I know I embarrass her
sometimes, but no one knows her like I do. There's times, I wish she was
a guy, so she could really be my boyfriend, and have it not just be a
joke. But weird stuff like that only happens in anime and faerie tales.
We start dancing, circling the floor, and I see she's watching
Anthy again. I don't know what's going on with those two. Sometimes I
wonder if they're really lovers or something, but Utena...I think she'd be
kissing Anthy in public if they were kissing at all. But she's like
Utena's shadow these days, and it just...it aggravates me. Anthy's no
fun, and I can hardly get Utena away from her.
Damn, I sound like a jealous girlfriend. Maybe I am. It seems
like everyone has someone, even if Saionji just has a skank, and Touga has
lots of someones. Though I'm not sure if Saionji and Kozue are dating or
not, but they seemed awfully close at the dance. Anyway, back to my
story.
So, Utena twirls me around, and I spin on one foot, feeling, just
for a moment, just like a princess. It's weird, isn't it? A little thing
can make us so happy, for no apparent reason.
Just as I finish twirling, I notice lots of people staring. The
reason they're staring is that Kozue is kissing Saionji. I felt my mood
deflate like a balloon. I know I have no right to say anything; all I
could do was stare unhappily.
Utena glanced, and sighed, then turned me around so I couldn't
see, and carefully, she started to make me dance. I stumbled at first,
tripping on her feet, but soon I was thinking about the music and the
steps, not the kiss. Not much, anyway.
My mood felt better by the end of the dance, and Utena walked over
to the snack table with me. "He's not worth thinking about, Wakaba," she
told me. "He's a thug."
"I can't help it," I said. "I know it's stupid, but I can't."
Utena sighed and got a cup of lemonade for me and one for herself
and one for Anthy. I watched everyone dance while she was getting them.
Miki and Juri were dancing together again, and I felt a little better,
just from looking at them. It's just so right, you know. Some people are
just made for each other.
I was a little jealous. Not because I wanted Miki for myself, but
just because they're lucky to have someone who loves them. It's what
everyone wants, isn't it? And they just make such a perfect couple.
Kozue came my way now, and I wondered what she was going to say to
me. We've never had a class together, or even spoken; I just know who she
is because I know Miki. Know him a little, anyway.
Did she know how I felt about Saionji? Had he told her? Maybe he
was sending her to mock me. Kozue is very good at mocking. I could feel
myself getting nervous. I'm not a very clever talker. I began trying to
put some insults together in my head, just in case.
She walked right past me to the snack table, leaving me with words
dying in my mouth. I felt like an idiot. He doesn't think of me. He
didn't even mock me publicly because he hates me. He just did it because
he could. He probably doesn't even remember I exist now. Dammit.
Now Juri was coming my way. I am not stupid enough to make the
same mistake twice, so I mostly ignored her.
Naturally, she stopped and said, "Good evening, Shinohara-san.
Are you alright? You look somewhat troubled."
I half jumped out of my skin. "Why, umm, no, no, I'm fine. I'm
not jealous of anyone or anything." I really hate my mouth sometimes.
She turned and gazed out across the dance, and for a moment, I
could see a look of pain on her own face, and then it was gone. I
couldn't tell who she was looking at; the ball had a lot of students I
barely know, if at all. But I had to wonder what she was thinking of.
She turned back to me and said, "Let it go, Shinohara-san. Jealousy makes
fools out of all of us, and it is best not held to."
"You can call me Wakaba," I said, smiling. "Everyone does."
"Alright," she said. I hoped she'd ask me to call her Juri, but
instead, she said, "Would you like to dance?"
I blinked in surprise, then said, "Sure."
It was only when I started to dance with Juri that I suddenly
realized Juri had been leading when I had watched her dance with Miki
earlier, though he had led when he danced with me. She dances
wonderfully, I can tell you.
She spun me around, and pretty quickly, I forgot all my worries.
She was smiling, or at least not frowning. Juri doesn't seem to smile a
lot, but she didn't look unhappy. I hope my dancing was good enough to
not cause her any trouble.
We circled past Utena dancing with Touga. She looked a little
trapped, and Juri smiled slightly at the sight of them. I really can't
quite tell what Utena thinks about Touga. He's a worthless playboy, and I
just can't see what she may see in him. Or what all those other girls do.
He wants her to be something she's not. And that's just wrong. So I
think maybe...maybe it's like me and Saionji. I know he's bad for me, but
I want him anyway. And I think maybe she's the same way.
We both need to get our act together like Juri and Miki did. They
love each other, not someone who doesn't love them. I could see her
tracking Miki with her eyes as he danced with...some girl. She has
purplish hair. I think she's new, but I can't remember her name.
I wish I had someone I couldn't keep my eyes off. Well, who also
loved me back. I can stare at Saionji until I go blind, but he won't love
me. Deep down, I know that, but my heart...it's stupid.
Juri pulled me in close as the music swelled to its climax, and
just for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. I don't know what
I would have done if she did. Besides die of embarrassment because half
the school would have been watching us.
Instead, she simply dipped me low and swung me out, and it was
over. "You dance well," she said.
"You're flattering me," I said. She was, really. I'm not that
great.
She looked at me assessingly for a moment, then said, "I never
flatter. I would not stoop to false praise." I couldn't quite read her
voice, to tell if she was offended.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I just don't think of myself as a good
dancer."
"You have much to learn, but you are a pleasant dancing partner,
and you know how to follow someone's lead. That can often be a rare
trait." She glanced across the room just as Touga and some girl with twin
brown ponytails blundered into a table and the whole thing toppled over
while everyone watched in horror. "Case in point."
I giggled a bit, then quickly put my hand over my mouth. Juri did
not bother to hide her amusement. "I hope Touga isn't hurt."
"You could see Touga carefully manuevering to let her take the
fall for him," Juri said. "Though given it was her fault, I cannot
entirely blame him."
I could see Miki coming towards us. "Well, I think Miki is coming
for you."
"Yes, I suppose he is," Juri said. "Good evening, Wakaba."
"Good evening, Arisugawa-san."
She looked at me contemplatively for a moment, then said, "You may
call Juri, if you like."
I felt my heart skip a beat, and I probably smiled bright enough
to blind everyone else. "Thank you, Juri-san," I said.
"Any friend of Miki's is a friend of mine," she said.
Miki came up and said, "Hello, Juri. Hello, Wakaba-chan." He
smiled that bright smile of his. "Shiori was teasing me about whether or
not Wakaba might be trying to steal you away from me, Juri." He laughed,
clearly thinking this ridiculous.
I laughed as well, until I noticed that Juri didn't seem so amused
by it, though she was trying to laugh. Miki didn't seem to notice that,
though. Shiori. That was the girl's name. I resolved to ask Utena about
her.
"It is difficult to resist Wakaba's charms," Juri said. "Have you
two danced yet?"
"Yes, we did earlier," Miki said. "She dances very well."
I blushed a little. "Thank you," I said.
"Then, would you like to dance again, Miki?" Juri asked.
"Yes, I would," he said, taking her hand. "See you later,
Wakaba," he said.
I smiled. "You two have fun."
He led her away and I turned to go to the snack table, nearly
ramming face first into Anthy. "I'm sorry!" I said hastily.
"Oh, it's alright, Shinohara-san," she said cheerfully. "I should
have been paying attention."
I started to the drink table, and she followed me. I tried to
think of something to say to her, finally stumbling on, "Are you enjoying
yourself?" I asked.
"It's very fun," she said. "Did you enjoy dancing with Juri-san?"
"Yes. She and Utena are both very good at leading."
Anthy nodded. I got her a glass of lemonade, and watched people
dance. I seem to do that a lot at these dances.
Utena finally escaped from Touga and came over to us. "Did I see
you dancing with Juri?" Utena asked.
"She dances very well," I told her. "Do you know that girl Shiori
who Miki was dancing with?"
"I think she's an old friend of Juri's," Utena said. "Beyond
that, not really."
"Right," I said. "I was just wondering."
Utena took a sip of lemonade, then said, "How come?"
I wasn't sure if I should say anything. "Do you know if she knows
Miki from anything?"
"Not a clue," Utena said. "Are you plotting something?"
"No, not really," I said. Just having a nagging feeling of
missing something. "Will you dance with me again?"
"Not having much luck with the guys?" Utena asked.
"Unfortunately, no. I'm rather plain."
Utena frowned. "Guys can be so stupid. And you're not plain.
Sure, just let me have another glass of lemonade and rest a little."
We danced, and the evening went on. It would take too long for me
to tell the whole story. I got to dance with some guys, eventually, and
Anthy somehow ended up in the punchbowl. I never did find out how, but
Utena and I ended up taking her home, dripping wet and smelling of lemons.
"You shouldn't have just stood there," Utena said to Anthy.
"Yes, Utena-sama."
"People will take advantage of you," Utena said.
"Yes, Utena-sama."
I began to wonder if she'd say that to anything.
"Next time, if someone is going to throw you in the punchbowl, you
should just punch them in the face," Utena said.
"Yes, Utena-sama."
"Then strip naked and run down the street shouting," I cut in.
"Yes, Utena-sama," Anthy said, then paused.
I began to laugh and laugh.
Utena frowned. "Anthy, are you actually listening to me?"
"I was trying to clean my glasses," she said, looking flustered.
I took her glasses off, got my handkerchief out, and dried them
off. "There you go," I said. She hadn't been trying at all, given they
were still on her face, but Utena didn't notice.
"Thank you, Wakaba-san," Anthy said. You can't fault her
politeness, I suppose.
"I can't always be there to defend you," Utena said.
"I know you always will be there," Anthy said.
"You have to stand up for yourself, or people trample on you," I
said.
"Wakaba is right," Utena said. I got a little kick out of that.
People don't say that a lot. "You would have punched Kozue in the face,
wouldn't you, Wakaba?"
With the stories I've heard, I think I would yell for Utena
instead of getting in a fight with Kozue. But I said, "And then I'd kick
her too."
Utena started. I think she must have been being rhetorical. I'm
really not violent. I think. But then she said, "See?"
"I will kick Kozue the next time I see her, then," Anthy said.
"No, no, just if she or someone else tries to throw you in the
punch bowl or something," Utena said. "Don't just attack her on sight."
"Why did she throw you in the punchbowl?" I asked Anthy.
"I don't know," Anthy said.
I couldn't believe that, but Utena accepted it. She's too
trusting, sometimes. "You didn't say anything insulting to her, did you?"
"I just asked her if she was going to dance with Miki," Anthy
said.
"And that's all?" I asked. Why would that get a bowl-tossing?
"That's all," Anthy said. "Perhaps she didn't like my dress."
Something strange was going on, but I decided to worry about it
later, once I had some sleep.
**************
Juri said:
It sometimes amazes me how much you can make someone squirm just
by smiling at them. That is what I was doing as Touga threw Saionji and
Kozue out of the ball. I have no idea what Anthy said to Kozue, but she
had made my night, whatever she said. Kozue glared at me as if this was
all my idea, but I was innocent this time.
Miki ran off after Kozue, which was probably a good thing, as it
let me get the amusement out of my system before he came back. Laughing
at his sister's humiliation would not help our relationship, so I always
hide it when I do, as best I can.
He was sombre when he came back, and he did not even time our
dance, which was how I knew he was really bothered by it. I could feel
the gentle nibble of guilt on my mind, but I crushed it. Kozue had
undoubtably deserved anything she got, doubly so for being Saionji's date.
Any woman who dates Saionji is asking for pain.
I do not like seeing Miki unhappy. So I decided to do something
about it. "Worried about your sister? I hope she is going to be
alright." I asked softly. I can fake compassion well, especially when
it's not all fake.
"She's going to be unbearable when I go home," he said, sighing.
"Or she'll be asleep, and she'll get mad that I wasn't there for her to
get mad at beforehand. Or..." He frowned.
"Or she will go home with Saionji."
He made a face, and I agreed completely.
"I know I can't tell her what to do, but she just...I just..."
"The man will undoubtably use her and toss her like kleenex," I
said, putting some extra disdain into it. For both of them, but Miki
would never know that. "I suppose you could challenge Saionji to a duel,
but that would just make him angry at you without getting him to stop."
Miki frowned. "I know. I just..." He sighed, clicking his
watch. "I wish she had not taken it out on poor Anthy."
"I am sure Tenjou will defend Anthy's honor," I said. I wonder,
sometimes, exactly how far those two have gone. As far as Tenjou wanted
to go, no doubt, given how the Bride behaves.
"I suppose so," Miki said. "I will have to try to make sure
nothing too bad happens. I don't want to see her and my sister fight over
Anthy."
"Nor I," I lied.
"I wish I didn't have to go home tonight," he mumbled.
"You do not have to," I said very softly. "I have a room all to
myself, after all."
He blushed and began to stammer. "Juri, you..."
He is such a total innocent. I find it intensely irritating
sometimes, but it was endearing this time. For a moment, I wondered if
Saionji and Touga had ever been so innocent. They must have, but I find
it impossible to imagine them that way. Even I was innocent once.
"Now, now, I am sure a man of the world like yourself has done
this before," I said. "No need to play coy." I take too much pleasure in
teasing him, sometimes. He looked even more stunned. "If you do not want
to, I will not mind, but I would like it if you stayed with me tonight."
"Kozue will worry about me," he mumbled.
"You can give her a call and let her know," I said. "And we would
need to go by your place, anyway, so you could get clean clothing for the
morning, and leave her a note."
"I...alright," he mumbled. "Yes, I will," he said softly. "But
I've never...I mean...I sort of know how, but..."
"I have never been with a man," I said truthfully. "You will be
the first."
He licked his lips nervously, then clicked his stopwatch.
"Alright. I will do my best."
"You always do," I said, then kissed his cheek. Kozue is going to
blow her top over this, I thought. Perfect.
*********
Kozue said:
Juri, you bitch, I thought, as I read the note. You're just using
him to piss me off because of your stupid little friend. Damn you.
I should have thrown Shiori in the punchbowl, and a live wire in
after her. Stupid little cow, always hiding behind others. What sort of
person can stand to live their life using other people as shields? A
loser, that's what.
Like Anthy. She uses everyone around her, attaching herself to
someone and sucking them dry, then moving on to the next victim. I hate
people like that.
It's hard for me to tell how messed up Saionji was before she got
her hooks into him, but I can still see the claw marks she left behind.
The man needs to learn how to at least fake not thinking about someone
else while he's with a woman.
Not that I'm in the best of positions to complain about that.
I crumpled the note and threw it away. He couldn't even stand to
face me and tell me he's going off to spend the night with his strumpet.
Can't he tell she's using him? My brother, he can be so blind.
He's just so naive, thinking the best of everyone. Except me.
Why don't I get the benefit of the doubt? He never approves of any of my
boyfriends, never gives them a chance. Admittedly, some of them were bad
choices. But he dismisses them all.
It makes me crazy sometimes. Stupid Anthy.
I could go make a fool of myself. That's probably what Juri
wants. But I won't. Juri wins every round because I let myself get all
emotional and don't think. While she's a cold-hearted bitch.
I'll just go to sleep, and I'll think on it. Maybe I'll dream up
some good idea for retaliation. Or think of a way to break into Shiori's
room and shave her bald as she sleeps.
No. Whatever I do, has to hurt her, but be beyond reproach. This
will take some thought.
**********
Miki said:
I walked across the grounds with Juri, so scared I'm surprised I
didn't faint. I still can hardly believe I'm dating her.
I suppose I shouldn't have been. We've gotten along well from the
moment we've met, and we have common interests and talents. The two of us
spent more time together than either of us did with any of the other
student council members. Sometimes love just grows organically out of
friendship.
It's hard for me to say when exactly we moved from being friends
into dating, though I suppose our first kiss would have been it. Three
minutes and forty-six seconds. I think. I was actually timing my
performance and...well, let me start at the beginning.
Some months ago, Juri began dropping by more often when I played
the piano to listen. I was very surprised, one day after that, when I
came in and found her playing the piano. She was not very good at it; she
hadn't done it in years, ever since her mother made her take lessons as a
child. But she told me that I had inspired her to try it again.
So I began working with her to build up her skills. Playing with
her was tremendously fun; it's strange, I suppose. For most people,
playing an instrument is not a group activity, but for me, I am happiest
when I am playing with someone, though playing for someone is nice as
well.
After this went on for some time, her mother apparently heard
about it and sent Juri her own piano. She asked me to help move it into
her rooms, which was a lot of work, I'll tell you. Finally, we got it set
up and I tuned it.
Then I sat down at it with her to give it a test flight. I wish I
could say I remember exactly what we were playing, but I'm afraid that the
kiss drowns out all other memory. We were covered with sweat and I think
both of us felt very tired, but we were both smiling as we played. The
piano sounded wonderful, and the sun was shining in through the window,
casting a glow over everything. Right as we hit the four minutes and
twenty two seconds mark (I think), Juri suddenly turned and leaned down at
me, her fingers still playing without missing a note, and kissed my cheek.
I think she might have been aiming for my lips right off, but I don't
think she's very experienced at kissing. Which rather surprises me.
The second shot was more accurate, and the whole world just seemed
to freeze in place for me, except for the music. I don't think either of
us were playing now, but the music seemed to just go on and on.
I didn't faint, but I did manage to fall off the bench, dragging
her with me. She began laughing at me, and helped me up while I blushed
and babbled and tried to pull myself together.
Love terrifies me. The real thing, that is. I was never this
scared when I was in love with Anthy. Maybe if I'd ever gotten anywhere
with her, then I would have felt like this with her too, but I just...I
worry, sometimes, that things will fall apart. That I'll do something
stupid. That the end will be as much of a surprise for me as the
beginning was.
But it's worth the terror. Juri is not a hugely affectionate
woman, but her love is quiet and steady, like mine. I'm not grandly
passionate either, like Touga or Saionji are. She has hidden pains, I
hope I can help her with. I know there's things she doesn't tell me, not
yet. But we have...we have time. I hope. If I don't botch things up.
We reached her dorm, and went inside, walking through the silent
hallways. A few others who had been at the ball drifted past us. I saw
one pair stop at a door and watch us, whispering.
Half the school is going to know what we're doing, by the morning,
I realized. That made me even more nervous than knowing I hardly know
what I'm doing makes me nervous.
Kozue will freak out. This was inevitable. But I wanted Juri
more than I wanted to placate Kozue. And she may well spend the night
with Saionji anyway. It's not like I haven't slept alone in our room
before.
Juri unlocked her door and let me into her living room first.
It's pretty crowded now; the piano takes up a lot of space. She pulled
off her jacket and hung it up in the closet just inside the entrance. I
did the same with mine, feeling my nerves jangle.
"Would you like some coffee?" she asked.
"Yes, please," I said, even though I really knew caffiene was a
bad idea.
I sat down at the piano and began to play, letting the music
soothe my nerves as Juri went into her kitchen and began making coffee.
Soon, the pleasant smell filled the air, and I felt my body stop
trembling.
It promptly resumed, however, when Juri leaned over me from behind
and passed me a cup along with a peck on the cheek. Her body was pressed
to mine, and I could feel her breasts against my back. My mind began to
spin, and then I suddenly wondered if perhaps I was misinterpreting
things. Did she actually want to have sex, or was she just offering me a
space on the couch? It seemed like the former, but maybe I was assuming
too much.
I'm going to spill coffee on myself, I realized as I tried to
drink from the cup. I put it down, quivering, wondering if I looked as
scared as I felt. "Thank you," I said.
Her hands began to roam up and down my sides. Juri is never this
affectionate in public, and often not even in private. I wasn't used to
it, and I liked it, and it scared me tremendously. "I envy your musical
talents," she said softly.
"I envy your swordsmanship and your elegance," I replied. I don't
have half her dignity, and though I keep trying, I think I will never
match her with a blade. "But you keep getting better at music every day."
"You are trembling," she said softly, sounding a little guilty.
"Am I pushing you too far?"
"No, no, I just...I've never done this before," I said. "I
want...I mean...I know where babies come from in the abstract...I mean, I
know you aren't out to have a baby, but it's all..."
She laughed, sliding a hand up my chest to the top button of my
shirt and unbuttoning it. Her fingertips played about my adam's apple and
I shivered. "We do not have to go all the way if you don't think you're
ready," she said softly. "I would not like it if a man pushed me too
far."
I thought about Juri naked and I felt myself getting aroused. I'd
fantasized about this before, more often since we started dating. But I
hadn't had the courage to try anything; I always seem to end up letting
Juri make the first move. "I'm just scared. I know I shouldn't be. I
can tell you're not scared, but I'm not as brave as you."
Her hand came up and ran along my cheek now. "We should both take
a bath after hours of dancing. I think we should do it together, and then
if you still feel too nervous, we can just sleep holding each other. And
if you are ready, then we can do it."
I nodded. A shower would do me good. "Let's do that, then."
I finished the piece. Seven minutes, thirty four seconds, not
counting the interruption.
By the time I did that, Juri was already in the bathroom, getting
the water running. I rose, taking off my pants and shirt and draping them
on the couch for lack of a better idea on what to do with them. Juri's
clothing was scattered all over the floor outside the bathroom, which made
me feel a little better.
A gentle waft of steam hit me as I stepped into the bathroom,
which always smells like nutmeg, due to the air freshener. Juri was
already in the shower, so I got some soap from the dish, then hesitated.
I could see her outline translucently through the shower curtain; her
figure is just incredible, and I felt my nerves jangle more.
I almost forgot to take off my underwear, except that right as I
reached hesitantly for the curtain, my manhood felt very strange. Which
was because it was trying to rise, but the underwear was holding it back.
So I took my underwear off and threw it in the hallway.
Juri giggled slightly, and I wanted to die. But I stepped in,
instead. Water was streaming down her body, across her lush figure. I'd
never seen her naked, or even in a bathing suit before. I stared at her
breasts, water running down them in little rivulets along the curves.
Then I reached towards them ever so slowly.
She took each of my hands and brought them over, to touch her
breasts, holding them there until I stopped trembling, while she smiled at
me. It was strange; I could feel the worst of my nervous tension fading
as I cupped her breasts with my hands, not sure of what to do.
So, I let go of her breasts, and soaped up my hands, and began to
scrub her clean. She looked surprised for a moment, then closed her eyes
and let me stroke round her neck and shoulders, then down her arms,
rubbing the grime and sweat of hours of dancing away.
It was soothing, bringing back memories of when Kozue and I were
young enough to take baths together. Though Kozue never got me aroused
like this. Those were happy days. I don't think I've ever felt so happy
since those days until now.
I had to kneel down to scrub Juri's legs and feet, so muscular and
smooth. She has wonderful legs, I never realized how nice until now.
Juri was purring softly, and her lips sometimes formed words, though no
words came out. I wondered what she was saying, what was going on inside
her head as I cleaned her. I hoped they were good memories.
Then I came up to the thing I had skipped on the way down, her
groin. I was nervous about touching it. I knew in a vague, academic way
how that whole area of the body is laid out, but in practice, it's all a
mystery to me. I know some women shave that area, but Juri doesn't.
Probably because she doesn't go swimming much, I suppose. And I know I
wouldn't want to put a razor near that part of my body.
I fumbled about, and my fingers slipped between the folds, inside
her. She gave a loud yelp of surprise, and I quickly pulled my fingers
out. "I'm sorry," I said frantically.
"No, no, do not worry," Juri said. "You just surprised me, even
though I should not have been surprised."
She reached down and gently ruffled my hair. "Do it again," she
told me.
So I did, fumbling about various body parts I don't know the names
of, but which Juri seemed to enjoy me touching. She began to moan, louder
and louder, and gradually, I was able to narrow down what made her moan
the most, and I did more of that.
I had to fight the urge to go get my stopwatch; the part of me
which obsessively times things was rising up in my mind, howling to be
sated. I ignored it, focusing on Juri, feeling my fingers get wet from
her fluids, feeling her body shake. Her fingers were grabbing my hair; it
hurt a little, but I was too focused on her to entirely notice.
Finally, she began to howl and shake as if she was having a very
personal earthquake. She yanked my hair hard, and now I yelped loudly.
Letting go of my hair, she leaned against the wall of the shower
as the earthquake died down, her moans dying down. She pulled me up, and
her eyes were full of tears and she was smiling and I wasn't sure if I had
done well or badly or both.
And then she kissed me, pressing me across the narrow space of the
shower, into a wall, leaning down, her hands sliding down my sides to my
own groin, and taking my manhood with both hands. It really wasn't big
enough for two hands, and her fingers kept getting in the way of each
other.
I took one of her hands and pulled the other away, then curled her
fingers of her left hand around my manhood, then guided her to slide them
up and down it. She kissed me fiercely through this all, and I tried to
get my hands clean so I could touch her without spreading her own fluids
all over her.
Once I'd managed that, I stroked her sides and her back as she
stroked me and kissed her as fiercely as I could manage, which wasn't half
as fiercely as she could.
Hot water and steamy air embraced us, and I quickly felt myself
about to come. I tried to say something, but was too busy tasting her
tongue to manage it. Instead, I came onto her hand, giving a sharp moan
through the kiss.
It was over quickly, too quickly. I started to go limp, but she
kept stroking and kissing me. Getting hard again, I came faster this
time, and then started to go limp again, and stayed that way. The hot
water gradually washed away my sperm, and our kissing gradually died down.
Finally, she said softly, "You were great. We should wash our
hair."
"You were great too," I said softly, reaching for the shampoo
bottle. To my surprise, I could feel myself starting to get hard again;
my brain dimly summoned something about hormones at my age. But I wasn't
sure if I could really carry though to try and...I wasn't sure how to do
it right. I want Juri's first time...full time...whatever the right term
is, to be special. And for me to know what I'm doing. "It's
really...complicated down there."
She laughed slightly. "While you are not so complicated, yes."
She kissed my forehead gently.
"Here you go," I said, squeezing a handful of shampoo onto my
hand, then passing it to her.
She squeezed herself a handful, then began to shampoo my hair as I
shampooed hers. She hummed a little tune as her fingers slid through my
hair, the tune I'd played earlier, so I began to hum it as well.
As any logical man would expect, she finished before I did; Juri
has lots of hair, and it takes forever to scrub it all. But I enjoyed it.
I wasn't shaking any more; I felt warm all over, instead.
Finally, I finished, and we stepped out and began to dry ourselves
off. I was done quickly, but Juri had to blow-dry her hair, which takes a
while. So I was already into my pajamas by the time Juri emerged, still
only clad in a towel.
I sat down on the bed. It was going to be crowded, but we could
cuddle, so it would be okay. I hoped, anyway.
Juri put on a sheer nightgown which didn't hide much; I felt a
faint thrill from it, though it was the most my body could manage.
Then she came over and sat down beside me, yawning. "You had
better be on top," she said. "As I do not think we will have room, side
by side."
"Alright," I said, getting up and letting her lie down, then
climbing up on top of her.
It took some fumbling about for us to get comfortable. Her body
was nice and warm, and the sheets were soft. I won't ever forget this
night, I thought. "Goodnight, Juri," I said softly.
"Goodnight, Miki."
And then we slept.
**********
Kozue Said:
I dragged myself out of bed as the phone rang. "Hello?" I asked
groggily.
"Hello, Kozue," Mother said. "How are you today?"
"Tired," I replied. "There was a ball last night."
"That's nice," she said. Mother says that all the time. It's her
default when she doesn't know what else to say. "Did you and Miki have a
good time?"
"I had a good time," I said. Not exactly true, but if I told
Mother everything that happened, she'd chide me. I can't stand that.
"How are you?"
"I am doing well. Your father thought I should call and check on
how you two are doing; you haven't called in a while."
My love for my brother and my irritation at him warred with each
other, as I tried to decide whether to mention that Juri and Miki had gone
to her rooms for him to fuck her brains out. My parents would never
approve; it would torpedo their relationship if my parents had anything to
say about it. But it would also make Miki very angry with me, and for all
that he doesn't approve of my boyfriends, he's never told our parents 'Oh,
Kozue is off fucking, she can't come to the phone.' I would know, because
they would NEVER shut up about it.
On the other hand, I couldn't just let Juri get away with all
this. "Miki has a new girlfriend. Perhaps you should come meet her."
Surely they would see how much of a cold fish she is and probably even
figure out what she is up to. Well, Mother wouldn't, as she's not very
bright, but Father sees through most idiots. If nothing else, it would
put some pressure on her to be nice to my brother.
"Oooh," Mother said. "I didn't know that. Hmm, perhaps I will.
I think we could come up on Sunday."
"That sounds fine to me. Call us again once you know what time so
we can meet you at the station."
"We will, honey," she said. "See you then."
"Goodbye, Mother," I said.
"Goodbye, honey." And then she hung up.
It was only after I hung up that I realized they'd never actually
visited us here except for special parents' days before. And even those,
they sometimes couldn't come to. Perhaps my luck was looking up.
I wandered off to make myself some breakfast and plan my
offensive.
**********
Juri said:
I woke up, rain beating gently against the window. Miki's body
was warm against mine. He was smiling in his sleep, and I stroked his
hair gently. For the moment, I could forget myself, forget how I got into
this, and just relax and be his girlfriend. For the moment, nothing else
mattered.
It would be easier, most of the time, if I was either more wicked
or less wicked. If I was less wicked, I would not have gotten myself into
this situation. If I was more wicked, I would never feel guilty. I am
sure that Kozue does not. Instead, I am playing tug-of-war with Kozue for
control of Miki because of my stupid pride, feeling guilty about it, but
not guilty enough to stop.
Sometimes I tell myself I do love him. Maybe, sometimes I do. It
felt that way, at that moment. There was just us, and Kozue was
forgotten, even by me. I just wanted to lie there and hold him and be
held.
It all started when I noticed Kozue and Shiori spending a lot of
time together. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, until I overheard
several girls discussing whether or not the two of them were having sex.
I couldn't believe it. So I ignored them. But I could see
things, and it seemed just like Kozue to go around seducing people to
amuse herself. And I kept hearing the stories.
So I confronted Kozue about it. She laughed at me and told me to
go fuck myself. If I could manage that much.
That was all the confirmation I needed of what she was doing to
Shiori. I had to do something.
I brooded for a while, trying to decide what to do about it. It
was an accident, really, which set me on the road I now walk. I had gone
to listen to Miki play one day, only to find he was not there. So I sat
down and tried to force my fingers to remember the tunes I had been taught
as a child while I waited.
Miki showed up and was surprised to see me playing. As we talked,
Kozue came by the room and saw us and glared angrily at us. Seeing her
angry warmed my heart, so I decided to ask Miki to help me practice.
One thing led to another. The closer I got to Miki, the more it
drove Kozue insane. And I wanted her to suffer. I also told myself that
it would be good for Miki to finally get out of Kozue's clutches. But I
would be lying to say that I was not primarily doing it for myself, much
as I would like to justify it with pretty phrases. And for Shiori.
I cannot really love Miki so long as I cannot forget about her.
He is a dear friend to me, and for some values of love, I think I could
say I love him. I care about him, and if anyone tried to hurt him, I
would make them suffer. Especially if they were Kozue. But if Shiori
came up to me and asked me to be her lover, I would dump Miki like a rock
and run away with her, even if it meant Kozue would win.
There is enough of her in him that it helps. She is young and
innocent and naive, if not quite so much as Miki. They both can drive me
insane with that, and yet it is what I find most attractive in them as
well. They have so many qualities I have lost.
I wish Miki was a woman. If he was, I could forget Shiori in his
arms. It helps that he is rather feminine as men go, close to his sister
in appearance. Some women would not like that, but I do.
Maybe, in time, I will forget. There are times that I do. But
probably that is just the sort of wishful thinking I despise. I might as
well wish for a passing faerie to turn him into a woman. There are no
such thing as miracles, however much I may sometimes wish for them.
I do not know how this will end, but I fear it will be bad. I
cannot date Miki forever just to spite Kozue. Or at least, I should not.
He deserves better. The longer we do this, the further we go, the worse
it will hurt both of us when it ends. If it ends. I cannot see how to
end this without Kozue feeling she has won, without feeling that myself as
well.
And I cannot stand to let her win.
On the other hand, I cannot say that dating Miki has been
terrible. He is a kind and attentive lover, the sort of man who is far
too rare. And I enjoyed our bath together; it was much more pleasant than
finally breaking down and masturbating myself in utter frustration, which
is all I have done in the past.
But for now, I could forget all that, and just lie in bed and
relax. I could believe that all would be well.
Naturally, the phone now rang. I reached over and picked it up as
Miki stirred. "Hello?" I asked.
It was Kozue. "Hello, this is Kozue. Tell Miki our parents are
coming to meet you tomorrow."
"What?"
Very slowly, like she was talking to a two year old, she said,
"Hello, this is Kozue. Tell Miki our parents are coming to meet you
tomorrow."
"To meet me?" I asked in surprise.
"Mother is very excited," Kozue said. "They'll arrive at 10:30 on
Sunday, if the trains cooperate."
Miki mumbled, "Did the phone ring?"
I kissed his cheek as loudly as I could. "Your parents are coming
to meet me tomorrow," I said to Miki. "Your sister is on the phone."
Miki's eyes widened. "She...what?"
"Would you like to speak to Miki?" I asked Kozue.
"Yes," she said.
I passed Miki the phone and got up to make some breakfast.
The english muffins were toasting nicely when Miki emerged. "Pour
us both some orange juice, please."
"Do you think..." he began as he dug the bottle out of the
refrigerator.
"I do not think she told them where you are right now," I said.
"You will have to brief me on them, so I know how best to impress them."
He kissed me on the cheek. "Just be yourself. I think my parents
will really like you." Then he poured two glasses of orange juice and
then went searching for fruit in the refrigerator.
Another milestone, I thought. The further I go, the harder it
will be to get out. But I could not back down from this. It was pretty
obvious Kozue had engineered this as her next move.
I would be ready.
***********
Wakaba said:
Utena and I had a picnic lunch. To my surprise, Anthy wasn't
there; I didn't mind. It was kind of nice to have Utena all to myself.
"Tatsuya was really unhappy when I accidentally stepped on his
foot," I told Utena. "But we had fun dancing. How was Keiichi?"
Utena grimaced. "You missed when I had to slap him. But that was
right before Kozue decided to be a pain and threw Anthy in the punchbowl."
I spotted Miki and Juri coming our way and waved. They waved
back. I am just so jealous of them. I wish I had a boyfriend I could
spend my Saturday with.
Miki said, "Oh, I was hoping Anthy would be here, so I could
apologize to her for what happened."
"It wasn't your fault, Miki," Utena said.
He sighed. "I'm not even sure why she did it."
"Anthy wasn't sure why, either," Utena said. "So where are you
two off to?"
"We're off to a cafe for lunch," Miki said. "And to scout out
somewhere nice to take my parents to, tomorrow."
"Oh, they're visiting?" I asked.
Miki nodded. "They want...they want to meet Juri."
"That should be fun," I said. "I'm sure they'll like Juri-san."
I got a little thrill out of that. Silly, really, but hardly anyone gets
to call her by name. First name, that is. I don't know why I qualify
now, but I'm glad I do.
"Good luck, sempai," Utena said. "Though I'm sure Miki's parents
won't be too harsh."
"I hope not," Juri said.
"Just be yourself," I told her. "Trying to pretend to be
something you are not always leads to disaster."
She winced at that. "Lies are not always revealed, but it is
unwise to count on them staying hidden, I agree."
Utena said, "I'm sure that it will go well. Just be honest. You
have nothing to hide, as far as I know."
"It'll be fine, honey," Miki said.
Juri started, then smiled at him. "I am sure it will be. But one
must plan for the worst."
"I'm sure it will go well," I said. Everything goes well for
people like them. It's like they're in some special part of the universe
where everything is beautiful, and they just visit the rest of us,
sometimes.
I wish I could live there. I wish I could have a fairytale
romance like theirs. Balls and close dances and romantic trips to the
cafe, and everything so beautiful and elegant. Like in a fairytale. But
girls like me don't get to live like that, no matter how much we dream.
Still, wouldn't it be nice?
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