Not much to comment on. And whatever comments there
are my opinion.

<snip>

    Blinking away her distraction, she forced
herself to sit up straight 
before the teacher threw chalk at her.  The daydream

threw a chalk at her

<snip>

    "Really?" the teacher asked, some of the
terseness seeping out of 
his voice.  "What is your question?" he asked
somewhat skeptically.

he asked, somewhat skeptically.

Otherwise, not too much else, expect perhaps a small
question mark next to Akane's participation, as it
adds less than desired to the story.

It may be better to skim her part out completely and
give what participation she has to Ukyo, or add a bit
more bulk to Akane's part.

This leads me to wonder if the classroom scene itself
is absolutely necessary. To be honest, I mostly
skipped past the section where the teacher's speaking,
scrolling from Ukyo's inner thoughts to her meeting
Ranma in the hallway, which were both good solid
scene's (compared to the classroom scene, which is
weaker than either).

Maybe it would better to lead with Ukyo's thoughts
straight through the lecture right to the lunch bell,
with her reflecting on the teacher's words? And then
meeting Ranma?

Sorry if I'm not making too much sense. It's three in
the morning here, and I'm sleepy, and I should be in
bed.

Anyway, thanks for the story. I really enjoyed reading it.

=====
Troy Thomas

http://ca.geocities.com/troythomas1/
troythomas1@yahoo.ca

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