Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 12 Oct 2003 23:08:19 -0400 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
Kei's eyes went from examining the steam to doing a circuit of the
Lovely Angel's galley{, :} where their long-awaited reunion was taking
place. Unlike the majority of the ship, it was largely intact and
showed no signs of having been in the multitude of recent battles that
had nearly claimed both her and Yuri's lives. Her eyes sought anything
to grab her attention, but nothing was there.
"This is ridiculous," a deep male voice from a small, watch-shaped
computer strapped to Iria's wrist complained. A tiny hologram,
consisting of two yellow floating cones containing a red sphere
floating between them, appeared. "Another ten years are going to pass
before you two really begin talking. Why don't I start things off?"
I'd wondered if Bob was still around. Good to see he is.
Sometimes Kei wondered what it would have been like to have met Bob in
person, before Zeiram had killed him. Iria had shown her pictures of
the tall, dark-skinned, bald man who had been her and Gren's primary
employer before the Karma incident, an event that had changed
everyone's lives dramatically. However, the two-dimensional
photographs failed to convey the true character of the man that had
given so much advice and assistance over the years.
If I understood things, Zeiram injured Bob severely, but he was still
alive when Iria put him in the lifeboat. He might have survived if
Tedan-Tippendai hadn't finished him off.
Bob 'cleared' his throat by buzzing static for the others' benefit. "I
must say, Kei, you've blossomed into a radiant flower of beauty."
Considering their costumes, that's fairly easy to judge.
Kei nodded in agreement. Despite the numerous fights, explosions, and
crashes she had been involved in throughout her life, she had never
suffered an injury that modern science could {fail to : not} erase.
The 3WA's health plan was second to none, and she and Yuri had indulged
in it on numerous occasions. "I've been through a few rough spots, but
nothing fatal."
For Kei, it felt as though a tremendous weight had been lifted off her
shoulders. Iria still cared enough about her to follow her career {as
best as she could :}. Part of Kei, a small but a very real part, had
been fearful that once she had left Iria's sight, she had been quickly
forgotten. Originally, it had been the fears of a young woman on her
own in a huge galaxy, afraid that not only would she fail to make her
mark on the universe, but that she had also failed to have an effect on
those whose lives she had already touched. Later, with the onset of
maturity (an idea Yuri openly scoffed at when Kei applied it to
herself), it was more of a fear that she had alienated Iria herself for
leaving so abruptly. As time passed, the worries had been pushed to
the back of Kei's mind as newer, more urgent concerns, from how much
money she had saved up to who was trying to kill her today, took
precedence over the past. With the recent turn of events that forced
Kei to call Iria, the old fears clawed their way back to the present
and made their presence known, showing that they had grown in the dark
recesses of her mind rather than fading away like a memory over the
passage of years.
You already used 'as best as she could' in the previous paragraph. I
don't think Kei has to worry about leaving her mark on the universe.
Just follow the explosions. :}b
"Given the trail of devastation and havoc that you leave behind, that's
a pretty bold thing to proclaim," Iria said.
Iria's no slouch in that department either.
"Yep," Kei assured her in smooth, louder tones. "She's a wild,
one-woman wrecking crew. Now don't get me wrong, she's a nice person
most of the time, and a heck of an agent. I wouldn't want anyone else
for my partner, and she's been cleared of all charges, too. But the
main reason things get blown up around us is because she's recklessness
personified. I can't begin to imagine the untold damage she'd cause if
I wasn't there to help keep her under control."
Ahh, yeah.
"Meaning the two of you are so alike it's scary," Bob added.
He received a thump into the table top for his expert testimony.
I guess the truth hurts. Him.
Yuri drew closer to a familiar type of rifle. "Hey. This is a
Pogtaltion 776. These were outlawed by the Uni-Gal Conventions
Guidelines at the same time the Barneyblast 'Love Me,' firearms were.
Only agents of an inner world military force, or special trouble
shooters of the 3WA, can use them. And even then we have to fill out a
GGIL form in triplicate for each round we use. That's why no 3WA agent
has used them in the last five years, since the 'Good God It's Long'
forms take at least a two hour minimum to fill out, and that's if
you're a speed writer."
Barneyblast 'Love Me' firearms? You are truly evil.
"There was this one female agent that gave the Chief an innocent peck
on the cheek after he gave her a cushy assignment, and Mrs. {Gihooey :
Gilhooey} happened to see it."
"Thanks to the miracles of modern medical science, they were able to
reattach her lips without a problem."
Though they were upside down.
"That's my Kei," Iria said approvingly as Yuri held her hand to her
head in mock pain. She just hoped Kei was smart enough not to use
armor-piercing or exploding rounds, especially near one of the outer
walls of the station. With the gun's rate of fire, those would
probably punch a hole through the two foot thick metal and then there
would be trouble. Maybe there was still time for Yuri to grab a space
helmet.
A space helmet and a fanservice costume?
Kei nodded, examining what was left of the interior. No Zeiram. That
was too bad, but she hadn't believed for a moment that he had died in
the explosion. As to the computers, that was a different story.
Nearly all of them near where she had tossed her overloaded laser rifle
had been completely destroyed. All that was left was twisted metal and
exposed wiring. Another {q
uarter : quarter} appeared to have been
damaged by shrapnel and assorted debris. That left only the master
computers near the commander's portion of the room intact. They were
located on a raised portion of the room, toward the back where the
person in charge could see everyone in the room at once. Luckily, the
computers up there had additional plating, since they were the most
important. None of them had suffered more than some scratches from the
shrapnel and a bit of paint scorched from the heat.
Iria made her way over the master console. Turning one of the machines
on, she was immediately asked a password for entry into the system.
"{Tokay : Okay}, Bob. It's showtime." She pulled a data plug from
her wrist computer and inserted it into the command terminal.
"She's wearing armor, Kei. You're wearing a bikini."
She had a very big gun too.
"Most of the information {on : in} the mainframe was completely
erased. It was definitely a professional job. What they got to was
totally wiped out without any chance of recovery."