--On 9/30/2003 11:08 PM -0400 John Biles wrote:
We're not dead, just pining for the fjiords...
Lovely, er, mammal, the Norwegian Wombat--beeeautiful plumage. :-)
Good chapter, I enjoyed it. I was quite surprised by 'Sailors pop in to
Dark Kingdom, Sailors popped out. End of battle.' :-)
"The Ascended One does not drop dead of natural causes while
ascended," Leo said. His voice vibrated with power and an undercurrent of
fear. "Either the Dark Kingdom did it, or else, one of our own is a
traitor."
It was always the Ascendant or Ascendant One in previous episodes/chapters.
Checking back, I see Ascendent sometimes as well, but never Ascended before.
Everyone stiffened. "But...why bother to murder Libra when her
own ascendance was the very next day anyway?" Polly asked.
Ascendance capitalized?
"I think Libra knew too much," Leo said. "But I don't have proof.
I just know that I don't trust Scorpio and someone has to be responsible."
He frowned. "But all I have is suspicions. However, if we can get the
Orb of Stars, then we will be in a position of strength."
'But all I have _are_ suspicions' perhaps?
"We have to keep our hope up," Raiden said, totally unaware of the
internal dialogue. "Best to assume the best, until we know the worst."
'our hopes up' is more common, I believe.
"I've been confiscating coal from the mortals, sir. Sapphire
finds it quite useful also. Fascinating stuff. Apparently, the humans
make it by highly compacting dead animals and plants into little black
chunks which resemble rock. Then they burn it to get energy.
Unfortunately, the energy is no longer suitable for sustaining life, but
it is very useful for producing heat."
<snicker>
"Or the phone rings," Go said.
"Or the phone rings," Cassandra said.
... Cassandra agreed. Just a suggestion.
Naru said, "She's off recruiting more help. Hibino-san, please,
come and join us. Together, we'll be stronger than apart." She sighed.
"We hoped you'd all be safe, but it looks like nowhere is safe. But at
least together, we'll be stronger than apart."
'...we'll be stronger together' the second time rather repeat 'than apart'?
"The Star Kingdom fell, damning the five kingdoms and all the
others, because the royal family had become lazy weaklings, who partied
their way to disaster," Augur said. "The Senshi have failed. Only the
Zodiac can defend the Solar System now, and they can't do their jobs while
you stand in the way."
Naru's cat is the one that's been ratting them out? Geez, that sucks. Is
it deliberate that most of the people associated with astrology/the Star
Kingdom in SMZ are really into betrayal?
She nodded. "I know. We're going to have to find something which
will give us enough power to fight for her, though. Jadeite and his
generals are much stronger than those fools you just fought. Or even a
fairly normal youma is."
That last 'is' feels awkward to me. It's also not clear whether you're
comparing the generals or 'those fools' to normal youma.
One by one, the Zodiac shuffled into their positions in the Great
Hall of the Zodiac. The long awaited Rite of Ascension was at hand. Some
of them awaited it with anticipation. Others feared what might come of
it. But all knew it was the end of one era, and the beginning of another.
Nothing could be the same again, for them, one way or another.
Ascension/Ascendancy/Ascendant is already established as the current
dominant Zodiac member. A different term than 'Rite of Ascension' might be
better if it's not deliberately the same.
Anxiously awaiting next SMZ (and COEAG... and CoF... ;-) ),
Jim