Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Fri, 3 Oct 2003 23:05:52 -0400 LSMcGill <lsmcgill@hotmail.com>
wrote:

Then, a loose roof tile gave way, and he found himself sliding.  He
desperately sought purchase, but there was no time before he was
catapulted off the roof, and into a telephone pole.  His glasses flew
away into the night as he slowly slid down the pole with a groan,
finally collapsing into blissful unconsciousness at its foot.

I think this is Mousse.  Does he regain consciousness before morning?

"So, my {fiancee : fiance} is finally here?  After two days back?

The normal pattern is 'ee' for female, 'e' for male.

Nabiki shook her head.  "I'm gonna need a tracking collar for you,
aren't I?"

The big cat laughed.

Does he really think she's joking?

"Because this big idiot let slip that Shan Pu already had a curse.
And I remember how upset she was that Ranma had a fear of cats, even
vowed to see Ranma cured of that fear.  Now, put two and two
together.  Shan Pu must have a good reason to be upset that Ranma
fears cats, and the very next day, Akane is "given" a betrothal gift
of a cat, and made to promise she'll help break Ranma of his fear.
Now I don't know Shan Pu anywhere near as well as you, but I don't
think she's so sentimental that she couldn't have given the cat to
someone else to take care of and gotten Akane a different gift.  Put
Tao-Ching's slip that Shan Pu has a curse together with all of that,
ergo Shan Pu is the kitten in question, and has a vested interest in
curing her {fiancee : fiance} of a phobia to her cursed form."

Zhu Shu nodded.  Nabiki shrugged.  "Well, I suppose for now we'll see
how it goes, then.  I have my own fiance problems, like that fact
that this idiot STILL HASN'T TAKEN ME ON A DATE!"

Maybe he's still saving up for it.  He's only a mult-millionaire.

They continued onwards toward school, neither of them noticing the
shadowy figure that had stood up next to the phone pole they had just
passed, rubbing his head and contemplating the words he had just
heard.

I guess he did wake up.

Then a chain shot down from a tree by the school gate just in front
of them, Ranma barely sensing it in time to dodge as the spiked end
gouged a line in the pavement before retracting with the same speed.
A second chain followed, then nearly a dozen chains streaked out of
{the :} concealment.

A tall boy clad in a long Chinese robe appeared, standing on the
branch of a tree, his long hair flowing down his back freely.  Huge
glasses with incredibly thick lenses covered his eyes, and the chains
around Ranma emerged from {within the sleeve : a sleeve} of his
voluminous robe.

Shan Pu's bon buri appeared in her hands as, without thinking, she
went to bat the pitcher away...

Ah, oops?

Zhu Shu was dismounting from the back of the smilodon as she heard
Shan Pu yell from just outside the gate.  Tao-Ching, as usual, had
gotten turned around, and had ended up entering the school yard from
over the wall {next to : around} the school.  Nabiki had been having
fun berating the big cat, and Zhu Shu wasn't entirely certain the few
minutes of wild ride had been an accident.

"You deserve this, {dear : Dear}."  She told the kitten as she
poured the water her.

Akane looked over to where most of the Hentai {: Squad} were
agreeing.  Their nosebleeds over the nude Chinese girl certainly
seemed to indicate their appreciation.  She picked up Shan Pu's dress
and tossed it to her.  Then turned to Ranma.  "Is that better?"

She got glomped.

"Oh, Shan Pu!  I've rescued you from that defiler!"

The perfect way to work off his agressions.

Mousse just blinked myopically.  "But, {elder : Elder}.  The cure?"

"Shan Pu is married!  {As per : By} Amazon law!  She was defeated in
fair combat in an accepted challenge match.  She is not now, nor ever
has been for you."

"You can't have Shan Pu, Mousse.  Ranma is her {Husband : husband}"
Ke Lun said in a tone that brooked no challenge.  Mousse paled and
thought frantically.

"You can't have Akane Tendo either, Mousse.  She has defeated Shan Pu
in fair combat as well and accepted her as a {Sister : sister}-Wife."
Ke Lun said.

"Agreed.''  Mousse said.  "Enjoy your day, {defiler : Defiler}!  It
shall be your last!"  Mousse turned and stalked off.

Ranma pushed past her, and looked at all the Hentai {: Squad} still
blocking the gate and drooling over Ke Lun's bunny girl form.  "Move
already!  I gotta get some hot water!"

And right next to her was the only still free seat in the class.
Right between her and Akane.  Ranma sighed.  Life was certainly
conspiring against her today.

Only today?

Shan Pu blushed even brighter as she looked down.  "Yes.  Shan Pu
enjoy watching {Airen's : Airens} pleasure each other."  She gave
Akane a look from under her lowered eyelids that smoldered softly.
"Shan Pu wish could be with {Airen's : Airens} instead of just
watch."

"It's not your fault, Ranma.  It's your father's.  I've been
contemplating exactly how I'm going to maim him for getting me into
this mess, but I can't really blame you.  Like you said, you didn't
know.  My life is ruined, but it's not your fault."  She shrugged.
"I even thought about killing myself.  I might have even done it if
your strange friend hadn't talked to me yesterday.  Kami knows, it
looked like the only available option.  My father's vow won't let him
see me {: as} a girl.  Your {fathers : father's} promise was
meaningless.  My own vow to make you pay for leaving me is
meaningless.  Everything I have spent the last ten years striving for
is meaningless.  What did I have to live for?"  Ukyo laughed
bitterly.  "Then that damned dragon girl had to come and tell me
about losing her first love, and how she tried to commit suicide, and
how she finally learned life can give you second chances.  So here I
am... waiting to see if she's right."

"You're weirded out?  Trust me, Ranma; you ain't got nothing on me.
You turn female, one of your {fiancee's : fiancees} turns into a
playboy bunny, the other into a cat, and one of your friends flies
around looking like a hentai pinup dragon girl.  I'm just a plain old
ordinary tomboy."

The rest of the day went pretty quietly.  Ranma was excused from gym
once the teacher verified she couldn't change back to male, since he
couldn't send her to the {female's : females'} dressing room, and
knew the havoc that would result sending her into the {male's :
males'}.  She'd had to sit and watch from the sidelines as Akane and
Shan Pu played softball.

Shan Pu had been conscripted by her {: Great-}Grandmother, and was
walking up and down the stands with a tray filled with cups of ramen.
She waved at Ranma as she walked by.  "Be careful, Airen.  Mousse
master hidden weapon technique.  Very dangerous."

Akane merely gave her a raised eyebrow.  Ranma sighed {: and} stepped
up to the ring.

Mousse rolled over and rose to his hands and knees.  "I will dare far
more, {defiler : Defiler}!  Attack of the Unsure Foot!"

With that challenge, Mousse hurled down the round object, shattering
it.  A large cloud of smoke poured out of the shards, filling the
ring with thick choking smoke.  Ranma fought to control his coughs as
he tried to listen for Mousse over the sound of the disappointed
spectators.  A slight sound was all she caught as he emerged
{out of : from} the smoke and attacked.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, Ranma.  Your buddy stealing my
clothes was a big hit.  Wish I had thought of it myself sooner.  The
Hentai {squad : Squad} is worshipping at my feet like it should
again."

Ranma sighed and tossed the sweater at the shameless girl.  Ai caught
it with a laugh as she turned and {exited out : went} into the gym.

Akane looked back at the bleachers for a second, then shrugged and
joined her {fiancee : fiance} as they left field.

She emerged from the mansion to look at her private retreat, frowning
at the enormous hole.  Swearing she was going to feed
{Tatawaki : Tatewaki} to Mr. Turtle, she stormed towards the door.

The interior was even more annoying.  Whatever had crashed through
the roof had been directly over her prize black roses.  She rushed in
to check on her darlings, the rage building to murderous intensities
as she determined both {Tatawaki : Tatewaki} and Sasuke were going
to die for this...

Her mind filled with lovely visions of ministering to the angel's
{need : needs}, she reached for the bell to summon Sasuke...

--
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.


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