Bill Heineman <burger@contrabandent.com> writes:
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Saint Peter stood at the pearly gates of heaven behind a podium topped with
Normally Heaven would get capitalized when used like this (parallel
with city names); the lower-case also shows up elsewhere, where these
comments apply. Do we ever see this element of things in the OMG!
canon? And if so, is there an entity described as Saint Peter in
there? If no to either of those questions, I'd suggest omitting the
gatekeeper's name (it brings a lot of baggage to the table, after all,
and I don't think it adds all that much).
A man in a suit and tie gently pushed aside the medic and kneeled next to
the resting martial artist. "I'm detective Miyashi of the Tokyo Police
The title 'detective' would get capitalized
department, Nerima ward, I've got a few questions to ask you." He flashed
his identity card and police badge.
"Sure." Ranma closed his eyes thinking about why he was lying on a
stretcher. He couldn't remember being injured when the car went up in smoke.
The detective got out a pad and pencil to take notes. "Do you know the name
of the other gentleman?"
Mental capacity being in full operation, he replied the best he could.
"Huh?"
Ambiguous pronoun here.
"I've got witnesses that say that you were involved with the deceased before
the accident. Why were you on the roof of that building over there?" He
pointed a pencil to a building across the street.
"The roof? Oh, I was chasing that old coot." Ranma moved on the stretcher to
get a little more comfortable.
"Why were you chasing him?"
Ranma was not believing what he was hearing, there was actually someone in
the Nerima ward of Tokyo that didn't know about Happosai's little 'hobby'?
"He stole the girl's underwear at school."
girl's? Or girls'?
"A panty thief? What made you think he committed a crime?"
"It's Happosai! The guy's a rotten pervert. Ask anyone, they'll tell you."
"I intend to." He wrote down the name Ranma mentioned, then checked a
previous note on his pad. "Now, I have here that you pushed him off the roof
before the accident. True?"
"Yeah, I pushed him off. He wouldn't give up the bag without a fight."
Raising an eyebrow in surprise, he tried to narrow down the method of a
possible crime. "Onto a busy highway?"
"It never mattered before." Ranma shrugged. "The guy's indestructible."
Miyashi paused at the admission of guilt. "So you admit that you pushed the
old man onto a busy highway?"
The detective waved to some officers standing nearby to come closer. "Mr.
Saotome, did you kill... What was the name you said? Happosai?"
Now it was Ranma's turn to be surprised. "He's dead?"
"Very much so. Why did you kill him?" The detective's face grew serious and
grim.
Ranma stuttered as the seriousness of the situation came to light. "H-h-he's
dead? That's impossible, he's taken worse blows that this."
"I find that difficult to believe. He was run over by a eighteen wheel
tractor trailer and then immolated when the gas tank exploded on the car you
blew up."
"W-wait just a minute here!" Ranma sat up, finally understanding what the
detective was insinuating. "I didn't blow up that car. The lady smashed into
the back of the truck and I got her out."
"That's your story. Now tell me the truth and it'll be easier on all of us."
He flipped his book to another page. "You've got a long record of vandalism
and delinquency. You're also listed as an accomplice to Happosai's little
nightly forays. So what happened? Did he cut you out of your share?"
Why did he know Happosai's name, and still write it down earlier? (I
could see him noting that Ranma had mentioned Happosai, and knew him,
and so forth, but then I'd assume he'd write down context also. If
possible, I'd imagine the officer would be tape recording also, since
he's not just dealing with a random witness, he's dealing with a
potential murderer.
"Wait! It's not what it looks like!" He struggled as an officer placed the
young man's hands behind his back and handcuffed him. Ranma stopped
struggling once the cuffs clicked into place. "I'm innocent! I didn't do
nothin'!"
"That's what they all say." He nodded to an officer who grabbed Ranma from
behind to escort him to a waiting police car.
Akane watched Ranma from behind the police barricade, flabbergasted that he
was being arrested. Ukyou stood by the Tendo's side waving at him to attract
Tendos'
his attention. The chef's eyes were filled with tears while Akane glowed a
bright blue at the officer who blocked her attempt to jump the yellow police
tape.
That's a colorful sentence.
Ukyou screamed out as the police placed handcuffs on her fiance. "Ranchan!
What are they doing to you?"
Akane grabbed the officer's shoulders, leapfrogging over him and ran to her
betrothed. "Ranma!" She dodged another officer to get to her husband to be
and glomped him. "I know you didn't do this!
Her dialogue seems Akane-ish, but glomping him?
Ranma slid down, writhing in pain from Akane's grip, the salve acting like a
lubricant preventing Akane from keeping him from falling. The medic caught
him before he oozed onto the pavement. Akane lunged forward to grab her
fiance again when Miyashi pulled her back by tightening his grip on her arm
where he held her. She retaliated by taking a swing at the detective.
Miyashi jumped back to avoid a fist to the nose. "Who are you?"
"I'm Akane Tendo, Ranma's FIANCE!" Akane screamed as five officers tackled
fiancee (fiance is an affianced male, fiancee an affianced
female.) This also shows up later on.
A bicycle flew from nowhere landing next to the medic holding Ranma. "Nihao
Airen!"
Miyashi stared wide eyed at the purple haired Chinese woman. "And who are
you?"
The new girl proudly exclaimed, "Shampoo is Ranma's wife!" She smiled
proudly at her husband by Amazon law.
"This is going to be a REALLY long day." He scribbled more facts into his
notepad.
Black flower petals filled the air when a green leotard clad girl appeared
on top of the trailer of the ruined truck. "Officers, what are you doing
with that man?"
The detective was now deathly afraid to ask, but his duty required it. He
weakly spoke then raised his voice so the ribbon twirling girl could hear
him clearly. "And... Who might you be?"
"I'm his lover! Kodachi Kuno." She bowed. "At your service."
A Kuno? At a commoner's service? Really, now... ;-)
The black rose cackled, "I came as soon as I heard the news." She faced the
officer. "I'm here to post bond for my Ranma darling!"
KODACHI: No need to involve a judge. Or paperwork. Just hold out your
hand, and I will slap you with a thick, thick wad of bills.
"Mr. Saotome is an ambassador of the Chinese Amazon tribe. He is the husband
of the great granddaughter of the matriarch and as such, he has the full
protection of the Geneva convention as a full ambassador of the nation of
China." She leered at the detective. "You can't even give him a ticket for
jaywalking."
Ur, if a war between China and Japan breaks out, and if Ranma fights
for China, and if Ranma is captured, then Ranma is guaranteed certain
protections?
Presumably you mean the Vienna Convention on Diplomatic
Relations. Which if you check the text of
(http://www.un.org/law/ilc/texts/diplomat.htm), only applies to
members of the diplomatic staff of the mission, which Ranma could only
be if Japan agreed to let him be, but these can probably be skipped
over for the sake of simplicity ;-)
Happosai drooled. "I've read the Kamasutra. I know all the positions." He
barely kept from bursting out in a nosebleed with perverted
thoughts.
I somehow doubt that Happosai has any problems with nosebleeds. And
hasn't for some hundreds of years.