Right, right. Spoilers for those who haven't read it yet.

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For Old Times' Sake

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma �. And I didn�t get it for my birthday.
*grumbles*

Nice fic, though Mousse seemed all too obvious before the end of the
story. In particular, it's this following paragraph that needs some work.

    She didn�t say anything. They hadn�t really spoken since Akane�s
wedding. Shampoo had not been informed of that one, so the two had
gotten married without a hitch. When he came to tell her he was sorry,
she had thrown things at him, yelling so loud that they could probably
hear her back in her village. So he had left and they hadn�t spoken
since. So now, here he was, in her restaurant, telling her that he had
left the woman he was with to be with her.

The third sentence is awkwardly written, and it seems obvious that 'the
two' does not include him.

Ex: "They hadn't told Shampoo about it, (and / so) the marriage (went /
had gone) on without a hitch."

Also, in this following paragraph:

    �You left Shampoo. You made choice.� She walked past him to the door.
�Now you leave.� But before she could open the door, he pulled her
towards him. She looked over his Chinese robes and blue eyes and dark
hair.

I would suggest using garb instead of robes (or some other word that means
clothing). The words 'Chinese robes' are used to describe Mousse's apparel
in many, many stories, and and are rarely used to describe Ranma's
clothing.

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