Read up to the end of part 25.


*Hits enter a few times so as not to let out spoilers*





    Okay, first off, I think there were a few issues with your keyboard in
part 25, as a capital K is coming through a lot instead of a small letter k.
This happens with the word kick, so you should do a find and replace for
Kick to kick. It happens with a few other words too, but mostly with kick.

    I thought that part where Ranma and Ryoga were playing Rock, Paper,
Scissors was interesting, but I was curious about one line. Ryoga says "you
have no chance to survive!" which gave me the hint that they were really
playing video games (since it's from the All Your Base Are Belong To Us
bit). Since they're not, you may want to consider changing that line. Or did
you just put it in there randomly? It's not a bad line, it just made me
think the wrong thing.

    Pearl Adams still confuses me. There was a scene where they were
watching Nabiki and Kasumi, and it seemed at first as though they were all
in the same room. I figured it out after reading further, though. I do like
him as a character.

    Also, I'm sure Japan and China aren't the only places in the Ranmaverse
with Martial Artists, but I see that you're just trying to focus on how
disturbing it would be in real Japan to have these "superhumans". That could
get old in other fics, since this is anime Japan, not real Japan, but it's
working out well enough here.

    That's about it for this time ^-^

- Denise


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