CAUTION: Extremely blunt comments and criticism ahead. Proceed with caution.
You have been warned.





Well, that was...

...errr....

...crap?....

....yeah, that about sums it up. That was pure crap. Sorry to say it, but it
was.

There was no point to it. It was sick, twisted, and just plain bad.

I'm often mystified at people who can't seem to tell the difference between
a "fanfiction" and "rampant bashing of a series and/or its characters".

This was not the former, it was the latter.

The entire main cast of Love Hina, save Tamago, is killed off for no reason
whatsoever, with no explanation, no logic, no reason--no plot. Conflict
without resolution.

Not only that, it's also incredibly rushed, and reads as though you were
sitting on the toilet trying to squeeze each sentence out by brute force.
The few sentences that attempted to do more than force the lame excuse for a
plot forward were trite, unsympathetic, ingenuine--as though you felt some
need to attempt to do more than just rapid-fire executions of the
characters, but had absolutely no clue as to how to go about doing it, nor
any desire to do anything of the sort.

And again, I must emphasize that an explanation of just what the hell led to
this mass slaughter would have been nice. It's just plain bad writing to
have this kind of thing happen without any explanation whatsoever, unless
you're deliberately trying to create a menacing villain character driven by
a lack of rhyme or reason. You were not attempting to do this here, as
evidenced by the hackneyed, trite closing with the mention of the possessed
turtle. Why was the turtle possessed? Who or what possessed the turtle? How
did the turtle come to be possessed? QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED. Sometimes, a
little mystery is a good thing. It makes the reader think. This is not the
case here. In this case, it just leaves the reader scratching his head and
wondering what the hell he just wasted five minutes reading.

Print this one out on toilet paper, folks. I give it two and a half flushes.

The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com
"Accio brain!"


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