At 00:23 8/26/2003 +0200, Christoph Pirringer wrote:
Flash of the Blade
Chapter 4 I
<snip>
Die sicherste Form der Kommunikation: E-Mails verschluesseln, Spam-Filter,
Adressverifizierung, digitale Unterschrift: http://freemail.web.de[1]
--- Links ---
1 http://freemail.web.de
Okay.. I see you're writing from Germany, and given the nature
of some of the (small) errors I've seen in this chapter, I'm going to
assume that English is not your native language and make allowances for
that.
First, you have MS SmartQuotes liberally used throughout the
chapter. These Must Go. Turn them off, or convert them before posting.
They tend to become corrupted in the mail, and irritate people to
no end.
Second, I've noticed a number of run-on words in this chapter,
rather like this: these twowords are run together.
(That might simply be a matter of habit on your part, I've spent some
years in Germany, learned a little German, and noticed the tendency
in the German language to simply make one new word by cramming two
old ones together.)
Still, it needs fixing, and the best way is to enlist the
services of a good pre-reader, from the USA/England/Canada/ANZAC
portion of the web. (Ahhh, the Empire of the English language. Heh.)
Third, a related error.. you have a number of mis-spellings
of the sort that a spellchecker tends to miss. For example, you
wrote "bug" where you likely meant "but". A spellchecker won't
catch that, but a good pre-reader would.
That's what I noticed with a single read-through of your story.
If I can find the time, I'll read it again, and look for plot holes and
grammatical errors.
Hope you find this helpful.
Ed Becerra
"Dreamers may die, but the Dream is eternal..."
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'