From: "Paul Durant" <031537@comcast.net>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Subject: [FFML] Re: [ECB] Evil Commentary Bureau vs Angel from Hell
Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2003 12:21:55 -0500
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gary Kleppe" <gary@garykleppe.org>
To: "Philip Bloom" <dracos12@hotmail.com>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2003 10:33 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [ECB] Evil Commentary Bureau versus Angel from Hell
It's impossible that my fic is not funny, you just can't accept satire
ofyour
beloved Zen! I stopped reading rather than listen to someone tar my witty
and fresh manuscript with Ukyou propaganda! Don't tell me not to do
stupid
things, make up some kind of new scene or something for me to put in
itsplace
because you aren't allowed to say anything I do is bad!
You know, sometimes it is better to burn out than fade away, Kleppe.
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Excuse me, but where did you get this mail message from? As far as I can
see, it was supposedly sent to the FFML, but I didn't get it. Curiously,
though, I did receive a mail with the exact same header, down to the date
and time sent, containing a completly different message.
Also, it appears as though someone hacked into Gary's mail account, as the
speech patterns in the message are completely different to Gary's own. Did
you know you can tell a lot from someone just from the way they write? It
appears as though the "hacker", whoever he is, is childish and immature,
from how the message reads.
By the way, I was being sarcastic. It's obvious noone hacked Gary's mail
account. More likely, "someone" simply copied the header and then wrote his
interpretation of Gary's reply, passing it off as Gary's actual response.
What "someone" could have hoped to accomplish with such a childish thing is
beyond me. Negative publicity against Gary, perhaps? To what effect I do not
know. "Someone" obviously didn't learn from the fic, however, as it clearly
shows negative publicity can be hazardous to the agressor when it backfires
so horribly. ^_^ .
Anyway, I won't keep talking about "someone" or his/her/its message. I
believe everyone was as embarrased by it as I was when I read it, and it
wouldn't be fair to keep it in the public's mind when it belongs in the
trash can. Instead, and to avoid being tempbanned by our fair and
magnanimous mods, I'm going to try to look at the positive aspects of it,
and write a little spamfic that came to my mind when I read it.
Any C&C is welcome, just keep in mind that I'm writing on the fly, without
any proofreading or editing. Fresh from my head to your mailbox.
------- Untitled ---------
A Ranma 1/2 Spamfic by Juan P.,
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and all its characters were created by Rumiko
Takahashi. Please do not distribute this spamfic. Period. On with the fic,
now....
----------
The dark figure hunched over the piece of paper it had almost finished
working on, laughing ominously. It only needed a few final touches, and he
would be able to put its plan into action. A fresh cackle of laughter
erupted from its throat as it pictured in its mind his plan coming to
fruition.
A piece of chalk flew through the air, and impacted in its head, bringing it
back to reality.
"Mister Gosunkugi, please pay attention." the teacher said in a tired tone,
as she rubbed her temples in frustration. My God, she thought while reaching
for some more aspirin, how do they expect me to teach anything with so many
interruptions...?
***
Life was good for Ranma. Sure, he didn't like school, had to face a couple
of challengers now and then, the danger of Akane's cooking looming over his
head, and his arguments with her every other day, but he had food, friends,
and was the best damn martial artists ever.
He was simply resting under the shadows of one of the trees in the
schoolyard, when a shiver run down his spine. He looked right and left, but
saw no sign of danger. And Akane was nowhere in sight, either...
Getting on his feet he went looking for her. He had a weird feeling in his
gut. Kinda like when he realised he had said something wrong, and tried to
make it better talking. But different too, like it wasn't his fault. Just
plain weird.
He was about to turn a corner around one of the school buildings when he
almost bumped into Akane, who was going the opposite direction. He was going
to say something, but decided against it as Akane completely ignored him and
stormed off in a huff, muttering something about someone insulting her food.
Warily looking around the corner, he saw a crumpled, messy mass on the
floor. After inspecting it for a while, and rearranging a few limbs, he
identified it as Gosunkugi. Besides him, on the floor, was a note. He
recognized the signature on it as his own. One of his practices from that
Martial Arts Calligraphy challenge some time ago. However, there was some
new text attached to it, in a print that was obviously not his own:
"Dear Akane;
Your food is disgusting, you are ugly, you are mean, and I don't want to see
you again. Instead of being with me, you should be with Gosunkugi, who
thinks you are nice, and very beautiful. I gave him this letter so I can
give it to you and be with you forever and leave Ranma behind and alone.
Love,
Saotome Ranma."
END
Author's Notes: Wohoo, my first fic ever! ^_^
Just wanted to add a few comments, which I couldn't write into the fic (it's
too long for a spamfic as it is, but what can I say, I like writing). I was
going to go with Tatewaki first, but Gosunkugi is the only character
pathetic enough for it to work correctly, so I chose him. Also, I know the
last sentence makes little sense. However, Gosunkugi got carried away as he
wrote it, and didn't proofread the letter. ^_^
__________
Juan P. Garibotti
_________________________________________________________________
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