Another nice story.  Not enough Sol Bianca stories, either, though I can 
sort of understand why:
there's not enough detail in the eight OAVs about the background, so 
authors undertaking this
story would end up making up a LOT.

Berk Watkins wrote:

Feb's drunk again, I caught a snap of it as I was jolted out of my
sleep.  She sings pretty well when she's plastered, but it's a jarring
effect on me, since I live in the apartments next to her's.  I've never

Using the word "apartments" here struck me as strange.  How about 
"suite" or just "cabin"?  As I
don't associate "apartments" with a ship, I thought you were using some 
mysterious planet-bound
setting for a few paragraphs.

They say the first thing to go's your memory.

That contraction looks very odd to me, though I'm not sure it's 
illegal.  Certainly it correctly
mirrors actual pronunciation, but I'd suggest "to go is your" anyway.

It took a moment longer to sort out my senses.  In one eye I could see
the swirling of hyperspace around me as I swam through it like a fish,
and with the other I could se the gloom of my apartments.  I could smell

misspelling:  "se" should be "see"

both the afterbirth of long-dead stars and the scent of clean cotton at
the same time.

This paragraph tells us that the narrator is June (or just Jun), 
assuming we've seen much of
either OAV series at all.  I don't know that this is that much of a 
spoiler, if this is what you
were thinking of.  It's a spoiler for the first series, sort of, since 
June's nature is secret for the
whole first ep and maybe half the second, but they don't seem to make 
much of a big deal
of this point in the second series.

walk around, through the wonders of whatever they crammed into my skull
to let me perform this minor miracle.  Not even I understand all the
principles behind the trick anymore, the mechanics of the subspace
linkage was someone else's department.

I'm gonna have to do some research one of these days in case something
breaks down and my reptile brain and my higher brain stop talking to one
another across the separate containers they reside in.

Interesting extrapolation.

glass of warm milk, Jani had decided to make her scheduled appearance
for her gods-its-too-early-for-anyone-to-be-doing-this morning jog.

Heh.  Nice phrase.

I kinda feel sorry for her.

Nice touch here too.

I closed my eyes as I sipped and looked at the Core room through G's
eyes as Jani arrived, about five seconds ahead of schedule, and started
on her run.  She'd taken a wound to her abdomen in that mess back over
Earth a month before and had been taking it a little easy until it

Suggest "ago" instead of "before"

healed.  I supposed that she was probably testing herself to see wether

spelling:  "whether" rather than "wether"

cuddled up and chatting quietly, so as not to disturb the wailing she-
witch down the hall as she worshiped her bottle of wine.

Heh.  Another nice phrase.

I might be missing several major organs and have the upper part of my
brain living in a transparent aluminum jar in the central computer, but
even I need my beauty rest.  Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I can even manage
to catch a dream.

Or some echo of one.

Rather sad note to go out on, I though.

But, thanks for writing and sharing!




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