Nice.  Don't see enough YUA fics on the list.
(Actually, I want to see Allyn Yonge write one where Strikeman goes postal.)

Donny Cheng wrote:

Every morning she got caught at this crossing, waiting for the same train.
Every morning she told herself she'd leave five minutes earlier to beat it.
Every morning she ran out the door at the same time she had the previous
morning.

Typical Natsumi, except that she's not regular enough to be just five 
minutes late every morning.

As usual, she was one of the later arrivals to Bokuto, but not the last. She
took a moment to remove her helmet, releasing her short brown hair from its
confines, and took a deep breath of fresh morning air.

Another misleading reference, which (upon first reading) we think 
ensures that this is Natsumi.

a grudge over, especially when the couple was so happy. The Today looked to
be in perfect condition; her distracted partner was not so distracted as to
let that go under her notice.

While I'd applaud reference to the Today normally, given when we 
eventually learn that this story
is set, using a current model by name seems implausible.  Not sure what 
I'd suggest you do about it,
though.  [;)  Maybe call it a Honda 'Tomorrow'?]

The chief stood before them, looking very stern, but that was his normal
appearance. She knew better than to be fooled by it, had seen his eyes full
of concern and compassion. She remembered the time he had saved her life,
had watched him race along, and finally pulled her from the rushing water.

Heh.  I liked that ep, even though it's not my favorite by any means.

That, and a pair of women that had never failed to impress her as a child,
had turned her to this path.

"Agawa? Agawa Maho?"

Heh.  And here's where you pull the trigger.  Actually, given that I 
think of Maho primarily as
'Little Cindy Lou-Who', given her intro ep, I'm disappointed that you've 
given us no reference at all
to that ep.

"I wouldn't worry. After all, I learned it from Mrs. Tsujimoto, and Mrs.
Nakajima was her partner all that time."

Another nit:  "Mrs. Tsumjimoto" implies that Natsumi kept her name when 
marrying whoever it was,
presumably either Shouji Toukairin or Kachou.  Either case strikes me as 
implausible at first glance.

"That's what I thought. You forgot your lunch again. And stop flirting with
all these young ladies."

"I-I would never...!"

Miyuki winked at the young lady that she still sometimes saw as little Maho
crying for her lost cat, and received Maho's wide smile in return.

The station and neighborhood continued to be in good hands.

The implication, for me, is that Miyuki is a full-time housewife who 
chased after Kennie with the lunch
he forgot.  I always pictured her as being an inspector or higher in 
later years, so this comes as a bit
of a disappointment to me.

But, in the end, it is a nice fic.  Thanks for writing it and sharing it 
with us.





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