1:6

"Aaaah!" Shinji woke with a scream, for a moment still rapt in his nightmare.

The dream faded and he realised he was laid in a hospital bed, curled on one 
side faing the windows. There was an old-fashioned radiator under one of them 

and the other was open, the light curtain blowing back into the room. Outside 

he could see the metal pyramid of Central Dogma and beyond it the incredible 
landscape of the GeoFront.

"Not a dream," he said slowly. "Not a dream."

He'd read somewhere that dreams were the means used by a brain to assimilate 
each days experiences. If so then then a nightmare or two wasn't too 
surprising. He'd probably have more before this was all over and done with.

Sitting up in the bed, he considered the hospital pajamas he was wearing. 
Good 
enough. He'd been kept in for observation after the battle but it was pretty 
clear he was okay. Good enough. He swung his legs out from under the blankets 

and padded barefoot towards the door, the chill from the floor brushing the 
last clouds of sleep from his mind.

He had a few things to do.

* * *

A darkened room, dominated by a huge table with seats and computer arrays for 

only six people.

All six seats were occupied, Gendo at the end. Or the head perhaps. It was 
merely a matter of perspective after all.

"Mr Ikari," said the man facing him. "Surely NERV and the EVAs could be used 
a 
little more... _efficently_? First Unit-00... and _now_ you've wrecked 
Unit-01 
on her maiden campaign! Their repair bills, plus the reconstruction of the 
armoured building - why, it's going to cost as much as a small nation!"

"Your _primary_ obligations are being forgotten - while these _pet projects_ 
of 
yours _bankrupt_ us!" criticised the man to Ikari's right.

"Nerv and the EVAs are _not_ your only concerns!" added one of the other men 
at 
the table.

"What about," the first man said, examining a report on the screen facing his 

seat. "the _Instrumentality Project_? Eh? To us, _this_ project - above _all_ 

others - represents our greatest hope in these desperate times! Where are 
your 
_priorities_?"

Gendo Ikari lowered his head and looked humbled. "I understand."

"In any case, I cannot and _will_ not sanction any delay in the IP schedule 
that is attributable to the second coming of the Shito. I will consider your 
budget requests."

"And how is the intel op progressing?" asked a man who had not spoken yet.

"No need for concern," Gendo said coolly. "_That_ matter... has already been 
dealt with."

* * *

Shinji sat in one of the small hospital's waiting rooms and watched the news 
broadcast with interest. He'd only stopped for a breather - the fight had 
taken 
more out of him than he'd thought - but the words "Tokyo-3 explosion" had 
caught his attention. The media were either lying or hadn't been told 
anything 
- as usual, Shinji thought cyncially. Probably the copy went straight from 
NERV 
or some related agency to the publishers and studios.

Nothing about the Shito, nothing about the evacuation or the gutted tanks and 

aerodynes, nothing about EVA-01 - just an explosion leaving a crater in the 
middle of the city. Word would get out of course, but would never be 
acknowledged officially. Nor would those who had died.

With a sigh, Shinji pushed hiself to his feet and continued towards what he 
hoped was the administrative area. He needed to check out of here. Needed to 
do 
_something_ before he went completely insane.

'Of course,' he thought with macabre humour, 'since I believe I piloted a 
giant 
robot against an alien invader, it may already be too late.' Wasn't there a 
song, an English band in the seventies... 'I'm Going Slightly Mad'? Something 

like that.

He pressed against the windows to let a nurse and a doctor wheel past a 
gurney. 
The girl on the gurney was about... well about his own age he supposed. The 
pale blue hair gave her an exotic look, even restrained by a bandage and it 
feathered around her face. As she passed the one red eye not concealed by 
bandages turned and met his own gaze.

Something electric seemed to pass between them...

...and then she was gone.

Shinji remained pressed against the cold glass. The lines of her face seemed 
familiar. It was Rei of course. But he had seen the face on someone else. He 
frowned. Change the colouring and... oh. "Shoan," he whispered. She'd worn 
her 
hair in a similar cut when she was younger. He remembered brushing it back 
from 
her face once, as she slept.

Shinji followed Rei's gurney with his eyes as it rolled down the hallway. 
Coming the other way, he saw his father pause to look down at the girl. The 
expression on the man's face was odd, almost compassionate, as he spoke to 
the 
other pilot.

As Gendo straightened, his eyes met Shinji's for a moment, before he turned, 
hiding behind the reflections of his spectacles. Shinji countered the grimmer 

look with a shrug and a weary grin, leaning himself against the window. His 
father looked away first, turning to accompany the gurney through the 
hospital 
halls.

Shinji felt suddenly tired and just stood there, resting his weight on the 
windowsill. He let his eyelids sag and his head was beginning to lean towards 

the window when a voice from behind him dragged him awake.

"Such a _cold_ man!" said Misato in a puzzled voice. "Surely his soul-weary 
son 
deserves a kind word or two!"

Shinji sighed, half-turning to look at her. "Afternoon, Misato."

She grinned and waved one hand at him. "I came to pick you up! I heard you 
were 
feeling okay... I'm glad, Shinji."

"Yeah... well..." Shinji sighed.

"I can take you to your place. HQ's taking care of you. You've rated private 
quarters."

"Oh wow. The excitement. Private quarters."

Misato frowned slightly at Shinji's back as he pushed off from the wall and 
started to shuffle back to his hospital room. "You okay living alone? If you 
submit a petition, you could arrange to live with your father..."

The boy actually summoned the energy to snort at that suggestion. "What? 
Beside 
his desk? Or maybe in one of the high security areas under HQ. Gee, now 
there's 
a thought!"

"Oh, now come on! Don't be _silly_! Parents and children _naturally_ live 
together!" she said hopefully. "Don't hold back - if there's something you 
want 
to say, just let it out."

'Oh, yeah. Like I could do that,' he thought mordantly. "I guess I don't 
think 
of him as a parent."

"Oh." Misato said quietly. She didn't quite understand that.

He turned and smiled at her suddenly. "Come to that, I guess I don't think of 

myself as a child either."

It was a rather nice smile Misato thought and a decision crystallised for 
her.

"There  is another option, if you don't want to live alone," she offered.

He shrugged. "I've done it before, but what do you have in mind?"

"There's a spare room in my condo. You could stay with me."

Shinji blinked. That way she said that, low key and offering, not 
insisting... 
"That's... hmm, are you sure? To be honest I wasn't looking forward to being 
on 
my own here, but I'm not always the best of company."

"Oh don't worry about that," Misato grinned, pulling out her cellphone. "I 
was 
Ritsuko's room-mate all through college - you can't be worse than _her_. Do 
you 
know she can't even cook a curry?" Without wating for a response, she hit a 
speed-dial, "Oh, hello, Ritsuko? Yeah, it's me. It's about SHinji - he's 
going 
to be living with me in my condo for a while, so..."

There was a muffled screech from the phone that Shinji couldn't quite make 
out.

"Don't be a _worry-wart_! I'm not so despereate that I'd jump a _child_..." 
Misato broke off for a moment to tsk at Shinji, who'd snapped his fingers in 
mock disappointment. "Just get me the proper approval from upstairs, all 
right? 
See ya!" She snappe the phone shut over whatever response Ritsuko might have 
made. "There, that should do it! Shall we get going?"

* * *

There was a scream of tires as Misato's sportscar blasted out of the parking 
garage. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" she chortled. "_Today we're gonna party!_"

"Party?" asked Shinji, cringing as the car swerved violently across the 
deserted road and almost hammered into an ambankment. "What's the occasion?"

"We're all _alive_, of course!" Misato grinned. "Besides, it can be a 
_welcoming_ party for my new housemate too!"

Shinji looked at her and then sighed, rubbing his temples with the palms of 
his 
hands. "I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?" he asked 
rhetorically.

"Geez," Misato complained, turning her head towards him.

"_Watch the road!_" Shinji yelled as he felt the car begin to slide out of 
the 
lane.

"Hey, I know how to drive!" Misato yelled, straightening up somewhat.

"Men wild and me insane!" Shinji shot back.

"What are you all huffy and sulky about _now_?"

Shinji sank back into the chair, muttering. The phrase: "muthering gurt 
battle" was the only part Misato could make out.

"So _gloomy_," she said. "Like some sort of _mood disorder_! _I'll_ fix that 
personality of yours!"

"Huh?" Shinji asked, jolted out of his funk. She was glaring at him 
menacingly. 
'Kowai...' he thought. 'Her eyes... _paralyzing me!_'

The car took a turn and headed out of the city again. "Just a small detour on 

the way," she said, suddenly cheerful again. "_This'll_ cheer you up."

* * *

Shinji looked around the small plaza on the side of a mountain overlooking 
Tokyo-3. There was one of those pay-per-view binocular toys near the rail. 
"Why 
settle for a glimpse, Danno?" he muttered to himself, "When you can see it 
all 
from Lookout Mountain."

He looked at the sky for a moment but fortunately, no huge orange spacecraft 
flew over the city.

"Hey, com'on," called Misato. "What are you doing? It's almost time!"

"Just checking for Decepticons," he answered walking towards her. "So what's 
it 
almost -? Whoa!"

A klaxon moaned and across the city dozens of hatches that filled apparently 
empty lots slid open to reveal vertical shafts much like that used previously 

to launnch Unit-01. Majestically rising out of them were high tech 
skyscrapers 
that turned Tokyo-3 from an urban sprawl to a giant metropolis, the metal and 

concrete shaded in oranges and reds by the evening sun.

"Wow, it really _is_ Autobot City," Shinji chuckled.

"You're a weird kid, you know that?" Misato saidwith a girn. "This is 
Tokyo-3, 
the anti-Shito seige fortress... _our_ city. More than that, it's the city 
_you_ defended!"

Shinji nodded and glanced across the city, picking out an area marked by the 
damage caused in his own battle. Tracing a path of devestation backwards he 
saw 
the line the Shito had followed from Tokyo-2, where the UN Army forces had 
been 
torn apart.

His shoulders slumped under the weight of that. 'Not fun and games,' he 
reminded himself. 'This is a responsibility. Can I do this?'

"Shinji?" Misato asked as she heard saw the boy lean his weight on the rail, 
a 
sorrowful look on his face. "Are you okay?"

Shinji choked back a wholly unfair choke of laughter. "I'll be okay," he 

answered quietly. "It's just..." He exhaled and shook his head slightly to 
clear it. "Look, can I ask a favour? There's something I need to do..."



You could never know what it’s like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there’s a cold lonely light that shines from you
You’ll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I’m coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I’m still standing you just fade away

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you’d be a clown by now


Author's Notes
--------------------
I've stumbled upon Drakensis' webpage and fanfic archive a good while back, 
and 
went through almost the entire thing. He picks 'em good, what can I say? 
'Nyways, I'd first read what he'd done with In the Know back then, and 
thought 
it'd be interesting to see where it goes. Back then I had yet to write 
anything 
and my writing skills themselves weren't anything to write home about (I 
still 
get a bit of a laugh going through my earliest published fic. How corny and 
cliche 
that was. Ah, sweet rememberance). The fact was, I wasn't sure I'd be ready 
to 
do a co-author sort of thing back then. A year or so ago a project called 
Shining Spiral was born, which, when we finally get something done and a page 

up, will be a multi-author SI megacrossover. It's relevant for this matter 
inasmuch as the fact that it got me to get to know Drake a little better 
through his posts on the dedicated forum (and vica versa ... or something) 
is. 
I decided I liked his style and manner through those. I'd actually forgotten 
about In the Know by then, even if I checked up on his page ever so often to 
look for new stuff on the net. Well, I remembered a while ago, saw that 
nobody 
had actually called in to claim the co-author spot, went through what he had 
down, and decided - what the hell, it might be fun, and we ain't running on a 

schedule anyway so why not try? The fact that I had an urge to write an 
EVA-fic 
but no concrete idea regarding any sort of plot had a say in this. As it is, 
I 
wrote him. He wrote me. We put our heads together and got things rolling. We 
fleshed some stuff out, left some stuff to be considered later, and got 
working 
on getting the thing done. The first chapter at least.
Personally, I'm very pleased with the results. As it is, we're working on the 

following parts, and bits and pieces are falling together ... even if it 
takes 
a while sometimes. Who knows, if we don't lose the momentum, we might 
actually 
get this thing done sometime in the coming years. And if not, well, it's a 
very 
fun writing exercise at least.#
--------------------
In the Know was/is originally just another cliched start at a NGE 
self-insertion 
on my part. I'd been reading the manga and wondered how an insert character 
expecting the anime would do in that storyline. I wrote a few scenes, forgot 
about it and when I put together my website I posted it with a note that I 
would need some help to finish it, mostly with the fight scenes which were 
where I'd gotten bogged down in part.
And then Griever, who I knew from the Shining Spiral and from the now defunct 

PBEM GURPS Undocumented Features game I'd GMed, contacted me and asked if I 
was 
still looking for a co-author. I dug out the old notes, which had been 
twisted 
around a couple of times for various reasons and pulled out the version on 
the 
site. I wasn't quite happy with the plot I had but the scenes still looked 
good 
to me. And I liked the idea of writing the story with the Shinji who appeared 

in those scenes so I reworked my plot ideas without the insertion stuff and 
sent an email saying 'Hell, yes!'
So here's Part One. The game is afoot and it'll be a lot of fun finding out 
where this takes us.



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