Brian Welch wrote:
--- Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org> wrote:
Haruka began to smile softly.
Haruka smiling softly is like Kanako smiling softly. You know you're
dead meat.
Haruka is a wonderful character. She just works well. I think I can
appreciate the use of her more than some of the other characters, which
is why I believe I probably write her better than any other character in
this story.
Which is also probably why she stays in the background, mostly. -_-
"Yes?" he hazarded meekly. "Thankfully, that's all over now. A
long forgotten memory that never needs to be dredged back up."
"Time for another one to raise funds," she announced.
Keitaro winced. "Um... wouldn't it be easier to plead
bankruptcy?"
...or sell a kidney?
Keitaro: Heck, I've got TWO, and I'm pretty sure that growing a new one
will hurt less!
"I can hardly wait," Keitaro and Naru said in unison, neither
looking pleased at the thought.
Gratuitous fan service ahoy!
You know, I think that's what I don't include from the anime/manga that
detracts from the authentic LH feel.
"I took some liberties," Haruka dismissed. "It's a play for
kids, after all."
Yeah, just like the last one was. Definitely PG13!
Well....
They all nodded, Shinobu quietly mumbling some of her lines.
"'And today we present to you the heroic legend of Raiko and the
ground spider,'" she quoted. Looking up, she asked, "Who's supposed
to play the ground spider?"
Mecha Tama! Mecha Tama! Mecha Tama!
That... did not occur to me.
"I don't think Oe-san is like that!" Shinobu blurted out,
turning him a fearfully questioning glance.
"Not a chance," he said quickly, shaking his head.
Not having any clue as to what he was denying, of course.
Exactly.
Motoko's voice reached them faintly from where she practiced,
outside,
piercing the suddenly awkward silence. "Strike! Strike! Strike!"
Ranma shuddered, and looked briefly haunted, glancing over his
shoulder
fearfully, then turning back and insisting, "Never. Ever."
Ghosts from the past.
:D
"It should." Mitsune looked thoughtful for a moment. "I have
an idea. See, in this scene here...."
Have you ever read "Mustumi Writes a Lemon"? ^_^
One of my favorite LH fics!
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=220853
"We get to tussle with those cuties!" Haitani whispered to
Shirai.
How did I know it would be these two?
Because they're great characters? I seem to work better with foils than
actual main characters, come to think of it.
"They couldn't be that dumb," Naru said in disbelief, while
she and Mutsumi cowered away from the approaching villains.
Naru (whispering to Mutsumi): The first one that touches me gets
launched into next week!
Well, if I post the next chapter in a few days....
Yeah.
Sadamitsu dodged to one side, and waved her staff at the
demon. "You can not defeat me, vile thing, for I fight for justice!" she
proclaimed.
Is she quoting Amelia, or The Tick?
Now there's a scary crossover idea.
Prince Phil and Arthur--
No, no. That's quite enough. Too much, even. >_<
Still in peasant costume, Naru shook her head. "We're holding
in there," she finally managed. "I think the last play went better
than this."
How can she say that!? At least she's kept her clothes on this time.
Yeah, I kind of... forgot about that part. �_�
"Okonomiyaki!" Seta announced, bearing one in his hand, and
smiling genially. "A friend of yours, I think, Oe-kun."
Ouch.
Well....
I liked this chapter a lot. Very much a Love Hina feel to it. It's
probably my favorite chapter so far.
Yeah, I think I finally figured it out; Love Hina features a lot of
fanservice and sex-humor, which I tend (after the Motoko bits in the
first chapter or so) to tone down, do to my prudish upbringing. But,
writing it out seems to kind of remove the whole 'Love Hina' tone from
the piece.
But whenever I try to write it, it usually comes out looking tawdry
and... well, not very good. So, unfortunately, I can't promise this
level of comedy (or at least, that TYPE) consistantly.
Violence, on the other hand, I have no problems with. -_-
Thanks for your comments, and I hope that the next chapter meets your
expectations!
Brian Welch