Sending this to your new address.... Let's hope it works!
Aaron E Nowack wrote:
Standard C&C Disclaimer: All the below is my only occasionally useful
humble opinion, my only occasionally correct grammatical and spelling
corrections, and/or my only occasionlly funny humor.
Standard C&C Disclaimer Disclaimer: My opinion is subject to my
opinion, and may or may not reflect the opinions of the editor.
The muse, on the other hand, remains feisty. >_<
"I know what you're thinking," he said quickly, before he
could be
interrupted. "And we're not completely out of options yet."
"Now, girls, I'd like to introduce this nice man from the local yakuza
branch's prostitution department...."
Sorry. :)
You know, I'm sensing something that's going to grow into a reccuring
trend, I think....
Disclaimer: Paints in this story are from Takahashi, Viz
(Ranma 1/2),
TV Tokyo and Ken Akamatsu (Love Hina), and Tatsuya Egawa
(Goldenboy).
The story of the heroic legend of Raiko and Sakata Kintoki as
presented
here is public domain. The easel is mine. That's all.
BREAKING NEWS: Authorial officials once again fail to comment on the
issue of brush ownership. Film at eleven.
First you mock my colors, then you mock my brushes. I should use
scupture parables instead; you don't make with the funny when the man's
holding a hammer and a sharpened chisel! ;)
Shinobu surveyed the seating arrangement from her spot.
Keitaro was to
her left, and Naru shared a side of the table with her.
I think that final pronoun should be "him", unless Keitaro's been into
the Instant Jusenkyo water. ;)
Er... Sinobu remains a 'her', but I can see how easy it is to get lost
in parsing. Will revise (much to Larry F's chagrin; he thought he got
off lucky when I lost PoE revisions on chapters 1-14!)
Ranma shuddered, and looked briefly haunted, glancing over
his shoulder fearfully, then turning back and insisting, "Never. Ever."
Heh.
I was quite proud of this one. ^_^;;
The girls had made a collective concession to the fact that
there were now two men in the inn by letting them use the baths. After the
girls were done with them, of course.
Nothing good can come of this, not with Ranma and Keitaro's luck (or lack
thereof).
In the grand scheme of it, fanservice may ensue. So how can you say
'nothing'?
When it was done, the steam passed too high to rain back into the
bath, and was carried away on the breeze. "That was a nice soak," he said
appreciatively.
"Yes," Mutsumi agreed.
Knew it. :)
Had to happen. ;)
"Ooh," she said, blinking at the turtle. "I almost tripped over this
rock." She raised one leg from the water, and prepared to step on
o, as the turtle floated away. With nothing beneath her but more
water, she stumbled, crashing towards one of the bath's real rocks.
"prepared to step on it"?
Hmm.
'She raised one leg from the water, and prepared to step on
Tamago, as the turtle floated away.'
Your e-mail client or server seems to have eaten some of the posted file.
Ranma blinked, surprised, and removed his bandage.
"Actually, no," he
said, turning to look at the wrapping in confusion. "No one hit me.
It must have been a reflex."
...heh.
Not as good as a 'Heh!', but it will fit into my collection nicely.
Naru looked up from her study guide, having trouble focusing
on it. Ever since Keitaro had begun training seriously in martial arts, he
had gotten better. Less clumsy, at least. There honestly had been fewer
accidents since he began.
If martial arts training reduces the number of comedic misunderstaning
causing accidents, I hesitate to think what Ranma would have caused back
in Nerima without it... :)
Well, accidental gropings, at any rate.
And before you say Happosai, I'll point out that I said 'accidental'.
Enhanced flexibility only makes it easier to fit your foot into your
mouth....
"It's been a while, Ranma," he mused, positioning himself to
ride low, and offer less wind resistance, his ponytail flicking behind him in
his wake.
Oh... now _this_ should prove interesting.
That is my most profound hope.
"Watch your mouth," Haruka grumped, preparing to throw
another rock at Keitaro.
"It was in the script!" Ranma shot back under her breath.
Shouldn't it be Keitaro saying this?
He's all the way across the stage.
"I changed that line," she countered just as quietly.
And heh.
:p
"Right, right," he whispered back.
Probably should use Keitaro's name rather than he here.
Ooh, yeah. Good point.
"Very well," Yamamba sighed. "Raiko, take my Kaidomaru, take
him away from me... but know this much. While I have never told him before,
Kaidomaru's is a samurai, of the Sakata family."
Is the him here a typo, or an intentional (on your part) mispeak by the
character?
Plain old typo.
"Okonomiyaki!" Seta announced, bearing one in his hand, and
smiling genially. "A friend of yours, I think, Oe-kun."
Heh.
Gotta have a favorite character....
I hope this isn't too rushed. Any and all C&C welcome.
Seemed fine to me. Looking forward to seeing part two.
Excelent! Thank you for the time and comments, Evil Twin!
With any luck, I can start to C&C the SoG re-post some time this weekend.
Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/