Sound good. Now let's give it a try

"Do you feel it? This evil energy approaching the blue Earth?"

A small creature emitted a sharp gasp as it turned its attention to the
speaker. "I... I have felt nothing..." he whispered in a a tiny little

drop the extra 'a' and either little or tiny

The blonde woman nodded as she bent down to pick up her companion, who
felt tiny and fragile cupped in her hands. "You know how I am
constrained in this," she said, her voice thick with suppressed emotion.
"I truly wish I did not have to place you in this position, my friend."

Now... bend over.

^_^

The small creature in her hands felt his heart puff up with pride. He
had always considered himself but a humble servant, to hear her speak of
him as a friend was something he had not expected. "There was never any
choice; I will do everything that I can to carry out your will."

The woman nodded sadly, her almond-shaped eyes starting to glisten with
as yet unshed tears. "Go now. Go to the blue Earth and guide my champion
to defend it from this threat. I..." Now a few tears did slip down her
porcelain cheeks, as she despaired at just how little she could truly
do. "I will lend what power I can to... to help."

Pretty standard magical girl start.

"Please do not cry," the small creature urged plaintively. "We always
knew this day would come, and must have faith that it will turn out for
the best."

And that the bane called humanity will be wiped out before it spreads its
filth across the cosmos.

"Ranma-sama..." she breathed out the name of her beloved in a reverent
tone while alighting on a streetlight to briefly survey the plebeians
who walked the common streets beneath her. But her Ranma-sama wasn't
beneath her! If ever there was a man worthy of the Black Rose, it was
he. Just thinking of being held in those strong arms of his, rippling
with powerful yet well-toned muscle, was enough to sent

send

It was then that Kodachi spotted something, or rather someone, that sent
her mood plummeting. "Pigtailed girl," she groaned at seeing the short
redhead casually strolling along the fence below, her hands stuffed in
her pockets while she cheerfully whistled what only the most tone deaf
person could ever consider to be a tune. "Oh, how I despise you!"
Kodachi hissed as she attempted to burn the little wench to ashes with
the sheer force of her hateful glare.

Amazingly, Ranma combusted on the spot.

"Damn, I'm good," Kodachi whistled.

Just looking at the way the bitch dressed in an obviously transparent
imitation of Ranma-sama (her clothes were even oversized enough that
they could probably fit him too) made the Black Rose shudder with barely
contained rage. She might not be able to fault the pigtailed girl's
taste in men (except for the few times she led Tatewaki on, though it
was pretty obvious she was just cruelly playing with him - which was
something Kodachi could respect),

Heh

Kodachi snorted in a nonetheless ladylike manner. "Pish tosh! Ranma-sama
is also engaged to that Kuonji girl and... married or some such
according to the backwards tribal law of that Chinese wench. A man such
as he is not to be tied down by the arrangements of others! Ranma-sama
will follow his heart to find true love, and I aim to make sure that he
finds me!" she postured dramatically as she finished her little speech.

Well, she's half right

Kodachi growled low in her throat. It was an unspoken truce of the Kuno
household, that she would keep her pictures of Ranma-sama in her bedroom
or the greenhouse, while Tatewaki would keep pictures of his two 'loves'
in his bedroom or the dojo. All other parts of the house were supposed
to be neutral, to avoid setting off the volatile tempers of either Kuno
child.

"Looks like Tatewaki woke up stupid today..."

can drop the ellipse

Tatewaki raised his bokken high, clutching it so tightly that his
knuckles turned white. "The very notion that images of that fiend should
find residence in any room within the noble Kuno estate is a crime
against our ancestors! The heavens weep at this injustice!" Obviously
feeling great sympathy for the heavens, Tatekwai started crying himself,
though of course, in a dignified and noble fashion.

Heh

"She gave you flowers. Catch." Kodachi tossed a bouquet of black roses
which Tatewaki reflexively caught before being stunned by the small
burst of paralysis powder from them.

Do those work on him? I thought he bragged that his sister laced his food so
often most of her concoctions didn't work, though I could be misremembering
it.

"I can feel it... the one with the potential definitely passed here
recently!" he said as his senses stretched out to find the one who could
protect the world from the approaching threat.

Heh. Now the question is Kodachi the Magical girl by design or by accident.

 unhealthy puke green colour, standing at a full four and a half feet

tall and dressed in little more than a loincloth that looked like it was
made of seaweed. Perhaps the oddest thing about him (besides the green
skin) was the fin like protuberances coming from his back, upper arms
and calves.

heh

"What the hell are you doing here, then?" Ranma demanded, though she did
look slightly relieved, probably because his appearance had distracted
Akane from meting out punishment...

Prince Ynesbrg postured dramatically before speaking up in his booming
voice that was incongruous with his diminutive stature. "The portents of
the dreamers pointed me to this place where I may find my bride; the one
whose dark recipes will provide fuel for the awakening of the Old Gods
who slumber deep beneath R'lyeh! Akane Tendou, I have come for you!"

Heh. Cute touch.

This was where Dokuchu decided he had seen enough. Deep One cults were
not under the purview of magical girls and their cuddly mascots, no way
did he want to get involved in that. Besides, seeing how Ranma had
treated that cute little piglet did not bode well for any relationship
she might develop with a cute magical girl mascot such as himself.

True.

Dokuchu's head snapped towards the bathroom door in alarm at that
frightened yell. What was wrong?

"It's positive!"

Heh

Positive?

"Oh god, I don't even know who the father could be... it's probably
either Souichirou-sensei or Daisuke... I doubt it's Shiro... Damn! It
better not be Hiroshi or Yuka's gonna kill me!"

Hehehe. Nice tiny bit of dialogue that covers things well.

Dokuchu looked around in confusion. He could have sworn the third person
was here, but all he could see was an old lady rinsing her front porch
and a wet cat. Straining his senses, he confirmed that the aura was
coming from the cat.

'Well, that's no good,' he decided. 'A cat can't become a magical girl
to save the planet.' Besides, cats just plain creeped him out.

Heh

'A healthy mind and a healthy body! Looks like I've hit paydirt with
this one!' Dokuchu was more than pleased as he prepared to reveal
himself to the girl and bestow upon her the power to protect the planet.

Well, it'll probably work. Dachi's self centered, but not evil.

***

 > Kodachi's mouth formed a small 'o' as she stared at the bizarre little

creature, and her shock only increased when it started to talk. "My name
is Dokuchu, I've been looking for you, Kodachi."

Not using her last name as well? Awful informal of the bugger.

"No, seriously, I'm a space lemming,

Heh

and I've come to find you!" Dokuchu

said insistently, standing up on his hind legs and making a begging
gesture with his forepaws.

"A miniature giant space lemming?" Kodachi asked, sounding quite
serious.

Dokuchu blinked at that absurd idea. "Of course not! I'm perfectly
proportioned!" he said indignantly before calming slightly. "Anyway,
Kodachi, the earth is threatened by a great evil,

can't be that bad. 'great evil' wasn't capitalized. ^_^

"Give me the power to defend against evil, the strength to protect love,
and the spirit to never falter! I am... Cutey Thorn!"

Heheheh. Cute name.

Starting from the bottom, her feet were now covered in black rose petals
which overlapped each other and came up to her calves to almost look
like boots from a distance. Then her legs were completely bare up to her
crotch which was barely covered by several silver ribbons which snaked
in-between her legs and looped around her waist, leaving very little to
the imagination. Her breasts were similarly on display, being barely
covered with a mixture of black rose petals and cherry blossom which
overlaidd each other to form a continuous covering over each breast up
to the nipple and around her back, but left the valley of her cleavage
totally open for viewing. She had nothing covering her arms except for
several thorny vines twisting around each forearm, and although the
jagged barbs looked quite wicked, they seemed to cause the girl no
discomfort. Lastly, her side ponytail was now bound by another small
thorny vine instead of its usual ribbon.

Heh. Cute, in a fanservicey way.

Kodachi considered that for a second before responding. "I don't really
care about that, but maybe having a secret identity would be fun... so
is this like those shoujo manga where no one can tell my true identity
even though I'm not disguised in any way?"

"It's magic." Dokuchi nodded smugly.

A wicked glint appeared in Kodachi's eyes. "Oh yes, I see there is much
potential in this..."

As do I. Continue it, please.

DB Sommer



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