Michael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 26 Jul 2003 21:02:42 -0700 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
"To a large degree, yes," Motoko answered, {eyeing : eying} Keitaro
worriedly. "Oe-sensei and I will help you unblock those passageways
-- part of it is by proper breathing, and... he will use pressure
points for most of the rest."
This has come up before. "Eying", according to all the dictionaries
searched by the Linux dict program, is not a word. dictionary.com and
m-w.com list it as an alternate spelling of "eyeing", in which case
there is no need to suggest the change as both forms are valid.
Not to mention that "eyeing" looks OK to me, while "eying" seems weird
enough that I might be tempted to look it up and find out whether or not
it's right. If it ain't broke, why fix it, especially if some people
would say you're breaking it?
Keitaro's eyes widened, and the deadness about him lessened as he
returned to his normal state, {if : except} his nose was bleeding.
Ranma stepped behind Mutsumi, reaching up under her arm, and poked
two fingers into Mutsumi's chest, touching three separate points on
her back at the same time. The redhead held the pressure points for
a moment, until stray hairs on Mutsumi's head began to rise, as
though statically charged.
For this one I'd suggest either "though" or "although".
He wasn't outside yet, which probably meant he was sleeping right
then, too. Well, that just meant there was more time for her to
warm up before he got downstairs. Her unarmed forms were improving
under his guidance, though she'd seen him pick up more than a few
tricks of {her own : hers}. The last time he'd snatched her sword,
he'd managed to reproduce her own air-slash technique. His own
barehanded ki-attack was beyond her at the moment, but he'd
dismissed it as being designed specifically for himself.
I think the original form was all right in this instance.
"{I still say that : That} looks easy," Ranma said stubbornly. "Can
I see the other bottle?"
I don't see the need for the change.
"We work together," she said, grinning. She turned to Kintaro, who
was tightening the spokes on her tire carefully. "Aniki, can we
stop in a town tonight?" She had taken to addressing him the same
way that Ranma had, after the first week or so of {travelling :
traveling} together.
Also unnecessary - both spellings are valid.