REMARKS.
ShinseikiEVANGELION is copyrighted by GAINAX, etc. etc. et
coetera, blah blah blah, iyada iyada iyada, end.
- And people think this sort of disclaimer is better then my absent one? ^-^
Anyway, moving on.
**************************** NIHIL OBSTAT ****************************
- Uhh...Nihil Obstat? Maybe I'm slow, but...sorry, I don't get it.
manner. In other words, the life of Katsuragi Misato was going to end
very soon. Besides, as they already knew that she had come to know
- Maybe get rid of the word "that", there, it sort of trips me. And put a
comma after "knew".
ultimate decision about the future of mankind would be his and only
his. And she didn't care at all. A world without Kaji could ever be
- Should probably be "Could a world without Kaji ever be" etc
worth saving? A world that had been planned to contain no space for
- Again, "Could a world" etc
With all her haesitations just overcome, Misato kissed Shinji in the
- hesitations. And 'on the', not 'in the', unless she's doing some sort of
modified french kiss...
he had never been 100% human, now there existed no one nor no thing
- Huh? He's never been 100% human? But...hmm. Not that I'm disbelieving
you outright, but do you have any proof of that? I'd be interested in seeing
it.
I've watched the whole thing (movies included) a few times, and I never
came to the conclusion that Shinji was not completely human.
of The King Of The Universe without being harmed lethally, Katsuragi
Misato died in piece.
- Err...peace, not piece ^-^ Glad to know I'm not the only one who does
typos like that.
Part III.
This was the day on which Ikari Gendou screwed Ayanami Rei for the
last time. The Enlightenment of Ikari Shinji inevitably started the
- But it's Ritsuko that he...wait, unless this is something you've
purposefully
changed? Because he doesn't even try to do that until after Rei starts to
merge with that Angel (or become possessed by it...however you see it.)
Part V.
On the morning after, the Mass-Production Models from Seele were
easily destroyed by the newborn supernatural powers of Asuka, Shinji
and Ayanami Rei. During the next nine days, the humans who had
- I'm still iffy about how Misato getting drunk, and making herself smell
of garlic and onion, then having sex with Shinji, gave him supernatural
powers. You're saying these powers were naturally in Shinji and could
only awaken once he's experienced the height of physical pleasure? Or
did it have to be a drunken, smelly Misato?
survived the so-called Second Impact were completely deleted by Eva
Unit-00, Eva Unit-01 and Eva Unit-02 with logic and efficiency. Having
the surface of the planet been conveniently purified, the new Age Of
- be, not been. Or maybe "After the surface of the planet was conveniently"
etc
Gold finally began. According to what never ever would be mentioned by
the Dead Sea Scrolls, now Mother Earth belonged to the Children Of
Vishnu again. 'Twas yesterday once more.
- Interesting ending, though I admit that I am still confused. You had some
good ideas in there, but perhaps if you did a bit more development and made
the parts longer and more explained, it would help. You have a good writing
style, too, actual plot events and action aside.
- Also, it's nice to see a fic from this anime, here. I had thought to do
one, but
it seems like such a task. How do you continue it? Rewriting, as you did, is
probably the only real way, considering how many million different ways
there
are to interpret the actual ending. Of course, that alone could make a
million
different fanfics that could be potentially good...^-^
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