Kind of a short one this time, folks. Didn't want it to wear too
thin...also, just slightly more Japanese usage in this one. It's not
gratuitous, really.
=================================================
DISCLAIMERS, APOLOGIES, and RAMBLING
The following is a highly contrived piece of shite.
The following highly contrived piece of shite is based on characters from
Ranma 1/2 and other series.
Appropriate disclaimers will be posted at the beginning of each chapter.
Extreme suspension of disbelief is recommended for reading this story, as
many facets of reality are being disregarded in favour of the highly
contrived plot.
Feedback is encouraged. Flames are pointless, as the author is a flaming
retard.
...wait a minute, that isn't right. o.O;;
Ranma 1/2 is the property of Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz, and other
corporate entities who are not me.
Azumanga Daioh is the property of Azuma Kiyohiko, Dengeki Comics, ADV, and
other corporate entities who are not me.
No infringement is intended, no profit is being made, and I make no claims
of ownership to anything here except my own original characters.
=================================================
"We have arrived, miss."
The chauffeur stood by the open door, waiting for the young woman in the
rear of the limousine to emerge. He gave a small cough, then cleared his
throat noisily.
"Err...miss...we've arrived. Please, you want to go to the manor now."
Another long pause, during which the chauffeur began to wonder whether the
young woman in the back of the car could even hear him or not. Then, slowly,
she stepped out, standing, looking around. She turned her brown eyes on him;
he winced inwardly at the vacancy of that gaze. She then turned--slowly, so
very slowly--to look at the car from which she had emerged, then--again,
ever so slowly--turned back to face him, a serene smile on her face.
"Limousine."
He facefaulted.
The young woman looked at the house they had just pulled through the gates
of. "Aa...it's bigger than Chiyo-chan's house..."
She walked up to the door and rang the bell.
=================================================
R A N M A D A T E
=================================================
CHAPTER FIVE:
BEANS AND PORNBREAD
=================================================
"Miss Kasuga Ayumu, sir."
Ranma, clad simply in jeans and a white button-down shirt, waved at the
dark-haired girl, who wore a lavender skirt and matching jacket with a white
sweater. "Yo."
"O-ha," the girl greeted, raising a hand and holding it there for far longer
than necessary.
Ranma chuckled. "So, whatcha wanna do today?"
Ayumu lowered her hand, and stood silently for a long moment. "Aa..."
Ranma and Kuromaki watched her, waiting for a response.
"Let's go to the moon and meet the rabbits that make mocchi."
Ranma and Kuromaki facefaulted.
"Ah...err..."
"I'm afraid a trip to the moon would take considerably longer than a single
day, Miss Kasuga," Kuromaki said.
"Aa..." Ayumu paused, putting a finger to her chin. "Let's buy anpan and eat
it."
Ranma grinned. "That sounds like a plan."
"Anpan," Ayumu repeated, turning slowly toward the door. Ranma glanced at
Kuromaki, who merely raised an eyebrow, then headed toward the door.
He'd reached it by the time he realised the dark-haired girl wasn't with
him. He walked back over, took hold of her arm, and led her out of the
manor.
=================================================
"Limousine," she said as they approached the waiting car.
"That's right," Ranma said. He opened the door for her; she looked around
for a long moment before getting in. As Ranma got in beside her, she
commented, "Not the same limousine."
"Nope, this one's special," Ranma replied.
"Aa."
"Where to?" Michaels asked from the driver's seat.
"Nearest conbini you can find," Ranma said. "Then to the park afterward.
We're gonna have a mid-morning snack in the park."
"Anpan," Ayumu said dreamily.
"You got it," Michaels said, and LIMO-Z pulled out onto the main road.
"So, you from Osaka?" Ranma asked the dark-haired girl.
Ayumu turned slowly to look at him. "Yeah." She then turned to look at the
dashboard. "I live in Tokyo right now though."
"Ah."
"I like it here. I have lots of friends. Chiyo-chan and Tomo-chan and
Yomi-chan and Sakaki-san and Kagura and--" She paused. "Yukari-sensei's a
little scary though."
Ranma blinked. A couple of those names sounded familiar... *Oh yeah! She
must go to the same school as--*
LIMO-Z stopped outside a convenience store, drawing a number of curious
stares. "Be right back," Ranma said, hopping out of the car. He paused. "You
want anything to drink?"
"Hai! Juice," Ayumu replied. "But not the carbonated ones. I can't drink the
carbonated ones."
"Okay."
A few minutes later, Ranma returned to the car, carrying a large paper sack
full of cellophane-wrapped bread rolls and a smaller plastic bag of canned
drinks.
"To the park, then?" Michaels asked.
"To the park," Ranma replied with a smile.
=================================================
Five minutes later, Ranma and Ayumu sat on a bench in the middle of a small
park. There wasn't much to the place; a few trees, a flowerbed, well-tended
grass, and benches dotted here and there. Very few people were in the park
this morning; Ranma noted a few young mothers with their small children in
strollers, an elderly lady tossing crumbs to the crows, and a heavyset
middle-aged man who was jogging.
He rummaged in the bread bag and handed Ayumu a cream roll. "This okay?" he
asked. "I got several kinds."
"Ookini," Ayumu replied, opening the plastic wrapper. Ranma handed her a can
of hot milk tea also, then helped himself to a curry bread and a cola.
Ayumu bit into her roll. "Oishii," she said dreamily.
They sat in silence for a minute.
"So, what do you like to do?" Ranma asked.
"Hmm?"
"Y'know, hobbies an' stuff."
"Aa..." The dark-haired girl sipped her tea, then looked out across the
park. "I don't know," she said at length.
Ranma blinked at her. "Er--okay."
An awkward silence descended. Ayumu reached into the bag and pulled out
another bread roll. "Anpan," she said happily.
Ranma grinned, gulping his soda.
"Your name has the kanji for 'horse', ne?" Ayumu asked.
The pigtailed boy blinked at her. "Yeah, that's right."
"But you could also write it with the kanji for 'demon'."
Ranma stared at her. "Err...I guess so, yeah," he replied.
"Aa."
As Ranma opened another bread roll, Ayumu spoke up. "I saw an anime once
where demons were doing hentai things to high school girls."
Ranma chose to ignore that comment, though he flushed slightly.
Ayumu turned to gaze at him with her large, milky-brown eyes. "Do you do
hentai things to high school girls?"
Ranma choked on his bread. "OI!" he shouted. "What th' hell kinda question
is that?!"
"Aa...right, you're a horse, not a demon," Ayumu replied, turning again to
look at a tree.
Ranma opened a can of apple juice and tried to clear the stinging feeling
from his throat.
"A lot of girls like to ride horses, though," Ayumu said at length. Ranma
sprayed juice everywhere, face crimson.
Ayumu looked at him again. "But where would you put the saddle?" she mused
dreamily.
Ranma coughed violently. "Err--"
"Aa! It'd go--"
"Hey, wouldja look at that!" Ranma said loudly, pointing across the park. A
dark-haired boy with a spotted yellow bandanna and a heavy backpack was
walking through the grass. "It's Ryouga!"
"Aa--?" Ayumu turned to look. "Aa! Lost-boy-san!"
Ranma blinked. "You know Ryouga?"
"Un," Ayumu replied. "When I lived in Osaka, he came by every month looking
for Tokyo."
Ranma chuckled. "Yeah, that's Ryouga alright." He then reached into the bag
of bread on the bench, selected a melon bread, and chucked it across the
park. "Yo, RYOUGA!" he called.
The lost boy spun around, instinctively catching the projectile and
snarling. "Ranma--!!"
"Lost-boy-san! O-ha!" Ayumu called, waving.
Ryouga blinked. "Haven't I seen you before?"
"Un."
"Oh yeah, that's right." He frowned. "But then what're you doing in Osaka,
Ranma?"
Ranma laughed. "We're in Tokyo, Ryouga. C'mon, sit down, eat some bread. We
got plenty."
Ryouga blinked in confusion, then glanced down at his hand, and saw he was
holding a wrapped bread roll. "Err--"
"Melon-pan," Ayumu said.
Ryouga stared at her, the bread dangling limply from his hand.
"Melon-pan."
=================================================
The three of them sat on the bench, the boys on opposite sides of Ayumu, all
eating bread and drinking canned juice.
"So, Ranma," Ryouga said, a hint of bitterness in his voice, "Having fun
with your little playboy dating thing?"
"It ain't too bad," Ranma said, blithely ignoring the lost boy's tone. "It
beats th' crap I took off everyone at th' dojo."
Ryouga growled, crushing a bean paste roll in his fist. "You really are a
jerk, Saotome."
"Hey, what th' hell're you pissed off about, P-chan? Akane's free now. You
should be happy."
"How can I be happy when Akane is...when Akane..."
Ayumu was watching a ladybug crawl up her leg.
Ranma sighed. "Look, man. This ain't my fault. I didn't have nothin' to do
with this, alright? But they got me over a barrel. Didn't they tell ya at
th' dojo?"
Ryouga shook his head. "I--ah--wasn't there long enough, and I was--" He
glanced at Ayumu. "--indisposed."
Ranma snorted. "It boils down to me doin' this, or all of us hangin' for
stuff my pop did, stuff Nabiki did, all the crap you an' me an' everyone
else broke fightin'..."
Ryouga blinked. "What're you talking about, Ranma?"
"I mean, the black suits that told me I hafta get married said my mom and
pop, Tendou-san, and Nabiki go ta jail if I don't do it, an' th' rest of us
probably go too, 'cuz'a stuff we've done--you know how much stuff we break
when we fight."
Ryouga winced. "I--yeah."
"So, they said if I go along with this, they pay off anyone that needs
payin' off, throw out th' records, an' we all get off clean."
"So--you're doing this to protect everyone."
"More or less." Ranma sipped his juice. "I won't pretend it hasn't been fun,
though, 'cuz it has. I've been meetin' some pretty intrestin' gals." He
glanced at Ayumu, who was still watching the ladybug crawling up her leg.
Ryouga was glancing at her now as well. "Er--yeah." He stood, brushing
crumbs from his hands and pants, then nodded to them. "Well, I'd best be
off. I should probably go find Akane."
Ranma nodded. "Take care of her, man."
Ryouga started to say something, apparently thought better of it, then
turned and left.
Ranma crumpled his empty juice can and tossed it in a nearby bin.
"Ne, Ranma, is the place he's lookin' for in Tokyo?"
The pigtailed boy blinked. Ayumu was now watching him, having flicked the
ladybug off her knee a moment before. "Err-yeah."
"Aa." Ayumu glanced up, staring off into the distance. "He must want to go
to Fujiyama first, then," she continued.
Ranma shrugged. "He gets lost."
Ayumu pointed southwest. "Tokyo." She pointed directly south. "Kyoto." She
then pointed north. "Fujiyama."
"Eh-heh...yeah, somethin' like that." He glanced at her. "You really know
your directions, huh?"
She stared at him with her milky brown eyes. "I guessed."
Ranma facefaulted.
=================================================
After they finished all the bread and drinks, they returned to the limo.
Ranma asked Ayumu where she wanted to go next; she thought for a moment
before suggesting karaoke.
And so it was that Ranma found himself sitting at a table in a small karaoke
bar, sparsely occupied at this time of day, watching his rather dotty date
sing.
o/Sou koko ni, time pavement...o/~
She was actually rather good, too.
After she finished her song (everyone in the bar clapped), she walked down
to the table. "Saa, Ranma, you sing one now."
Ranma blinked. "Eh? Hmm...okay."
Ranma got up on the stage, frowning, and selected a random song. It turned
out to be a rock song, and sounded slightly familiar. He stumbled a bit at
first, but as he neared the chorus, he started getting into it...
o/~Iitai koto mo ienai konna yo no naka ja, Poison...ore wa ore wo damasu
koto naku ikite-yuku, oh oh...o/~
When he finished the song, Ayumu applauded, as did several others. He
glanced at his score, and smirked. "Not too shabby," he mused, returning to
the table.
They listened to a few more people sing (Ranma laughed a bit too loudly at
one overweight college guy who utterly butchered "Siroi Yami no Naka").
Eventually, Ayumu went up on stage again. The song she sang this time was
very slow and very soft, and very soporific; Ranma found himself drifting
off to the relaxing sound of her voice. He wasn't alone, either; all around,
people were starting to nod off, and the manager cast a rather cross glance
up at the stage.
"You ain't a Pokemon, so don't put my patrons ta sleep!" he called as Ayumu
finished singing.
The dark-haired girl looked around, blinking. "Aa...?"
Ranma chuckled. "Don't pay any attention, you're pretty good," he said.
"Are you gonna sing again?" Ayumu asked.
"Eh...I dunno..."
"Come on, sing one more!"
Ranma paused. This girl was definitely a bit on the loopy side. Even now,
she wore a blissful, spaced-out expression, as though she were stoned. A
sudden impulse seized Ranma, and he smirked. *Let's see if I can shock her
out of it.*
"Okay, I'll do one more." Ranma picked up a glass of water from the table,
splashed himself, and walked up on stage. The few people who had been
glancing in the direction of their table stared; the manager blinked,
wondering what had just happened. The redhead glanced down at the table,
wondering how Ayumu was handling the curse in action--
The dark-haired girl was still staring up placidly at the stage, milky brown
eyes wide and dreamy, smiling.
*Che,* Ranma cursed inwardly. Sighing, she selected a song, and picked up
the microphone again...
o/~Anata no kokoro ni kaze ga aru nara...soshite sore ga haru no kaze
nara...watashi hitori de fukarete mitai na itsu made mo, itsu made mo...o/~
When she finished her song, everyone applauded loudly, even the manager. She
smiled, flushing slightly, as she walked back down to the table, sitting
across from Ayumu. The dark-haired girl turned to her, smiling. "That was
good, Ranma."
"Thanks."
Ayumu then blinked, leaning forward. "Aa...something's different about
Ranma..."
"You just now noticed?" Ranma asked.
"Un." Ayumu looked up at Ranma seriously, her brow contracting, her eyes
suddenly sharper, more alert. She glanced from Ranma's face to her chest,
then back. Ranma tensed, waiting for it...
"Lai-lai girl ya," Ayumu declared.
Ranma facefaulted.
=================================================
As soon as they left the karaoke bar and got back in the limousine, Ayumu
fell asleep. Ranma stared at her. "Err..."
Michaels glanced back. "What did she do, get drunk in there?"
"Nah," Ranma replied. "This girl's a little weird, yanno?"
"She did seem a little spaced out," Michaels agreed. "So, what now?"
Ranma sighed. "Head for her place so we can drop her off. I think we've just
about finished up here."
"You got it, boss."
=================================================
Michaels rang the doorbell of the small house. A woman of average height
with longish black hair and deep brown eyes answered. "Yes?" she asked.
"Kasuga-san?"
"That's right."
Ranma stepped forward, carrying the sleeping Ayumu. "We have something that
belongs to you," he said, smiling.
The older woman stared at him, nonplussed.
"She sorta fell asleep in the limo after we hit a karaoke bar," Ranma said.
"Oh, I'm--"
"Saotome Ranma, yes, I know. Well...I'm sorry my daughter caused you so much
trouble."
"She didn't cause no trouble," Ranma said. "I guess she just wears out
easily."
Kasuga-san sighed. "Ayumu needs to learn to pull herself together.
Well--come on, bring her in."
=================================================
Ranma carried Ayumu to her room and placed her on her futon, stopped to say
his goodbyes to Kasuga-san, then left. "Well, that was...short," he said.
"Not as short as the one a few days ago, though," Michaels pointed out.
"Yeah. And at least this one didn't wanna kill me."
"So...home?"
"Might as well," Ranma said, shrugging.
=================================================
Kasuga Ayumu woke up slowly, yawning. She glanced around. "Aaa...?"
Once she realised she was at home in bed, she laid back down on her futon
and went back to sleep.
=================================================
RATE THIS DATE!
Your participation determines the outcome of the Ranmadate project! Vote for
the bridal candidate you like best!
Below is a date rating form. Fill it out and send it to
lurker@lurkerdrome.com; results will be tallied during the course of the
Ranmadate project. The individual date-rating forms and the final voting
form at the end of the thirty days will be used to determine the outcome,
and Ranma's future bride.
IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE make sure the subject line of your e-mail reads
"Ranmadate Voting Form", and that you specify which candidate the voting
form refers to. Also, please DO NOT post voting responses to the FFML! Also
refrain from posting them to my LiveJournal. If you do not comply with the
above, I'll ignore your vote.
0. BRIDAL CANDIDATE NAME: ______________________
1. COMPATIBILITY
On a scale of one to ten, rate this candidate's compatibility with Ranma.
(1-worst, 10-best)
2. SUCCESS OF DATE
On a scale of one to ten, judge how successful this date was for both
parties (cumulatively; please do not enter separate values for both Ranma
and the girl). (1-worst, 10-best)
3. SURVIVAL CHANCES
On a scale of one to ten, rate how likely:
--Ranma is to survive this candidate. (1-worst, 10-best)
--This candidate is to survive Ranma. (1-worst, 10-best)
--Ranma is to survive becoming part of this candidate's life. (1-worst,
10-best)
--This candidate is to survive becoming part of Ranma's life. (1-worst,
10-best)
4. OPINION POLL
Would you like to see Ranma marry this candidate?
(yes or no)
Votes will be collected until the end of the Ranmadate project. Thanks for
reading!
=================================================
END OF DAY 5 -- RANMADATE
=================================================
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