Well... A bunch of things. I'll handle them all in one over-large
response to the ffml. That would seem the most efficient route. Oh,
and note that grammatical and/or spelling mistakes are corrected by
default, so I won't be making any independant responses to those,
except right here to say 'thanks' for finding them. You can edit and
re-edit and still miss obvious mistakes.
First, the last:
____
Denise Cameron (part I)
____
-- I have trouble seeing Ranma leave Ryoga like that for days. He
may
be a jerk sometimes, but he's a pretty caring guy, deep down. He'd
at least
go check on him, under the cover of wanting to make fun of him.
-- Oh...lol, a dream. Nice.
Quite.
The okonomiaki chef knew she was physically inferior when compared
to
Shampoo, and probably Mousse,
-- Whoops. You left out the y in okonomiyaki again. ^-^
Grrr. Curse you, oko-nomi-yaki !!!!
Ryouga just big-sweated.
-- This is something that's better off in art form, not in writing
form.
"Ryouga just cringed." would work better here, I think.
Maybe, but I actually like the big-sweat/sweat-drop thing. I don't
think I use it that often... plus its an anime staple. And they don't
always cringe when it happens. Heck, I managed a horizontal sweat-drop
in the later chapters.
____
elisteran
____
Ouch. Painful spin on Ranma. If 'Yoiko' weren't here, I'd wonder if
Akane would try to defend him?
Akane's still in the kitchen making concrete cookies. If she was
there, though (and the scene was minus an obviously Ranma-chan/Yoiko)
she probably would have. Especially because, though this Akane is
willing to forgive Ryouga for the P-chan thing, her impression of him
is still tainted by it. She'd be much more willing to point out his
mistakes than the canon pair (who both seem to have sort of idealized
versions of each other: Ryouga being a perfect male friend, and Akane
being the perfect woman)
He's a pre-Madonna and a narcissist."
Hmm... is that a pun? The Italian is 'prima donna', although I guess
Ranma could eventually end up putting cones on and getting up on
stage...
(unlikely, however, to bear a messiah ;-)
Ranma has worn some racy disguises... Heh. I remember when I wrote
that, and it seems like quite a while ago, I was thinking 'this can't
be right... meh. Should be fine'
Oh well. "Correction Accepted."
Ryouga's eyes moved to two police officers that had just left their
car, as it was still rumbling, the engine left on. They both had
pistols drawn, the usual .38 caliber revolver, aimed at him, and
only
then did he notice that the streets were almost deserted. Had he
been
in possession of a clearer head, just then, he would have realized
what the situation appeared to be: a large, angry and dangerous
looking man holding a beaten and battered woman up like a rag doll,
shaking and yelling at her. As it was, he saw the guns, and
dismissed
them. They were aiming at his chest. His Tekimen Kongou Gishu made
him
effectively immune to being shot there, and at this range he could
probably dodge the low powered bullets if he had to anyway.
The contrast in this paragraph seems odd. The 'didn't realize what
it
looked like' doesn't quite match up with 'ignoring the police
because
he is INVINCIBLE! INVINCIBLE I say!' I'd suggest moving the first
point to another paragraph (perhaps a realization of Nabiki or
Akane),
or explain why Ryouga thinks the police have their guns out (to
protect in case he rampages against innocents (i.e., non-Ranma)?)
This is (in my fic) a fairly common example of the sort of battle-
focus mindset, where the concern is the fight itself once it has
begun, and not really the circumstances under which it is taking
place. Ryouga saw no threat from them (incorrectly) and as such
ignored them. This becomes a real problem, because in the middle of a
fight, a combatant literally has to force themselves into another
mindset to deal with things they semi-instinctively ignore. (An
example of this is the truck on the road, during the big fight between
Ranma and Ryouga)
I may make a change or two, though. I'll re-read that section again
and give it a good look see.
Oh, rather than flood the list, I'll just append my short comment on
part 7:
Mousse saw Ukyou's features soften again. To say that she had been
worried was a drastic understatement. She had cried like a woman
possessed from the moment she arrived to the moment he and Shampoo
had
finally dragged her back to her restaurant. Mousse had never seen a
woman cry that much... of course, Mousse had never really seen a
woman
cry at all before he came to Japan, but she had been in a bad way
up
to and until they finally got word that the lost boy had stabilized
and was, indeed, rapidly healing his wounds. He had felt like
crying
himself, but he held it in, if only because Ranma wasn't.
wasn't what? Holding it in? Because from Nabiki's description, Ranma
did seem to be holding in any real emotion...
Ranma wasn't crying. So Mousse held it in as well and put up a strong
front. I realize this is not necessarily pure canon, but I've taken
more than a few liberties with the Amazons, and importantly, what it
means to be a *male* Amazon (while trying very hard, I think, to stick
close to the canon or rationalize any differences) ... Mousse saw that
Ranma wasn't crying over what had happened, while the girls were. In
Amazon society, the opposite is the norm (as shown much later in the
fic). Despite this, Mousse is far from a normal male Amazon, and acted
like he assumed a male was supposed to in Japan, using Ranma as his
example.
____
Sebastian Palm
____
-- Good explanation for the mallet thing.
And the best part is that there is dupport in the Manga for it -
though the
first ever mallet in the Manga was one of Kodachi's toys.
Everyone seems to have done the mallet thing at least once. Though the
Tendos seem to specialize in it. At least in this fic they do. Maybe
Soun watched too many Looney Toons cartoons when he was a kid and
decided to make it into a technique. "The Way of the Mallet" aka "Dat
Waskally Martial Artist"
"Okasaan always buys stuff in English. Here's one in Japanese."
-- Ahh, here's an example. Not really a fault of yours,
but...what is Okasaan? Father? Mother? It looks like is
should be Okaasan, though since there is Oneechan, Oniisan, etc.
It'd take more than the shifting of a letter to make *this*
unrecognizable
as the word for "mother"... But it *was* spelled incorrectly.
"Father" would
be "otousan". As someone else already wrote, be careful with this,
especially with obasan/obaasan.
Ok. ok... I get it. The later chapters have minimal Japanese (taking
these criticisms into account), but these early ones are a different
story. Not sure if its worth the big change over, though, because its
different characters using the family descriptions.
Overcome by immediate curiosity, he checked to see if she had
layered them, but found that it was purely ornamental, and
that there was only one.
-- Seems to be an odd thing for Ryoga to do at this
point...but he IS easily distracted.
Most of Ryoga's direction problem is actually the other way around -
he
focuses too hard on something, and doesn't let such niggling details
as
where he's going and where he is - and what's in the way - distract
him.
That's why he gets lost...
Definately true, to an extent. How lost he gets is also variable. I
was just seeing the dub of the Shishi Hokudan fight (they didn't do a
bad translation from the manga, actually), and they still had Ryouga
finding his way from the empty lot to the Tendo Dojo in little to no
time. Plus, he moves around the Tendo house and his own house with
relative confidence.
-- I don't think you need to defend your ideas on Ryoga so
much, I think it works out just fine if the reader simply
keeps in mind that this is a Ryoga who has accepted that he
can't have Akane, and has dedicated himself to the Art. I've
been recently rewatching the first season of Ranma, and Ryoga
is bang on. When Akane's hair gets cut, Ryoga is basically
saying "so what? she didn't get hurt." It's only after a
few minutes of seeing that she's in shock that he concedes,
and says she can hit him to make her feel better. What you're
writing is definitely an earlier, further hardened and trained
Ryoga. He IS super-strong, but his ability to get lost is
what balances his strength.
I don't know, really. I never liked Ryoga much, in any incarnation.
Sure, he
got the short straw with the curses, but both of them are almost
entirely
due to his own mentality - and it's a mentality I really loathe. The
problem
with this fic, IMO, is that up to where I've read, it's only gotten
worse -
the canon Ryoga could at least be made to grow up, with a liberal
enough
application of clue stick. This one is so far along that the only
stick big
enough would be an "earth"-scale baseball bat, for all his
"maturity".
But I'll keep reading...
SP
Well, there's physical maturity (all the characters in LC mature
physically and age normally), there's intellectual maturity, and then
there's emotional maturity. Virtually all the characters have the
first two in degrees of abundance (none of them are stupid, except
Azusa and maybe Kuno), it's that last one that's a real problem. Give
'em time.
I hope to hear more from you as you progress along in the story.
____
Soul Drake
____
I think what's most important is that yelling the attack in Japanese
just sounds BETTER than in English. Take 'Kaze no Kizu' for example.
What sounds better?
"Take this! Wound of the Wind!!"
or...
"Take this! Kaze no... KIZU!!!" *smash bang clang fizzz ~barrier~
"kukuku"*
Hmm. Well. Annnnyway.
____
Denise Cameron (part II)
____
Okay, part 5 was quite good, I enjoyed the elaboration of what
it's like to be a man in an Amazon society. I'm not sure if it's
common to portray Mousse this way in Ranma fanfiction in
general, but it fit in my mind anyway.
I don't think its very common, no. But, still, I doubt I'm the first
person to take this sort of crack at it. As far as I can tell, when
most authors look at the Joketsuzoku (Amazons), they sort of have an
idealized version of it, whereas I've gone in the exact opposite
direction. I mean, why don't we see more male Amazons other than
Mousse? Why are only strong outsiders given the liplock of wedlock?
Given the historical background I was writing (for the Musk, and
through the Musk, for the Amazons) what kind of treatment would we be
looking at when it came to gender roles? Ah, but all this will be made
much more obvious in a couple chapters...
Anyway, onto part 6:
But she alone knew the way there.
-- Umm, don't Ranma and Akane know the way? Or have they not
learned this yet? Both of them are able to get there, and do go
there,
in the manga. The whole plotline with Ryoga's "sister" ^-^ I'm
assuming
that it's early enough in the timeline that they just didn't get a
chance to
learn where he lives, though Ranma should have known before Ryoga
even gets cursed.
Yep. This is made clear, I think, by later in the story.
Ranma knows the way (roughly) because he used to go to school in the
area, lead Ryouga from his house to school, etc... Akane, however, has
no idea in this version of events. Only Nabiki, out of the group, knew
the exact way there.
-- I like how his parents take books home for him to read, and his
roundabout way of being "homeschooled".
A real ragtag education. Still, nothing a college freshman shouldn't
be able to handle, IMHO (except that its in three different
languages).
Overcome by immediate curiosity, he checked to see if she had
layered them, but found that it was purely ornamental, and that
there
was only one.
-- Seems to be an odd thing for Ryoga to do at this point...but he
IS
easily distracted.
"The secret technique of all the women in our family...! She turned
her bra into nunchucks! She must be my sister!"
Ryouga had to have learned at least some of those techniques from his
parents, I'd like to think.
Nabiki noticed the dogs had fled to the safety of the house and
that
Shirokuro was watching things unfold with the canine version of a
look
of trepidation, while slowly nudging the back door closed. ...Smart
Dog.
-- Haha. Very nice.
They only went into the house because the bomb shelter was too far
away.
*****
-- As for the charts on the bottom giving strengths and such, I
would
put Akane's strength higher. At least an 8, at the start. This is
the girl
who
breaks cement with her fists, can launch Ranma (or anyone else) into
the
air with a punch, and can defeat a school of boys with punches and
kicks
and send them flying. I'd also up her endurance by 1. But that's
just me.
I've always seen Akane as being just slightly less strong then
female
Ranma.
Perhaps. But pretty much anyone can do some form of the orbit-
kick/mallet/boot/etc... Certainly Ukyou and Shampoo do it when so
inclined. The only two regulars I don't recall doing it are Kodachi
and Gosunkugi. And while Akane can smash concrete blocks, Shampoo was
fond of kicking down concrete walls, and Ukyou has performed feats of
strength to rival Akane (tossing a big rock statue at Akane during the
Natsume-Kurumi Story). But, personally, I'm a little more of critical
of Akane's martial arts skills than others.
Not that I really like strength charts to begin with. Really, the
details of it are all pretty debateable, so take any numerical
estimation with a grain of salt. Suffice to say that I didn't use the
chart when writing any of the fight scenes. Whenever I needed to check
something, I refered to my character bios/descriptions, which had the
techniques, names, effects, and other useful info.
I am glad you like how I'm handling this adaptation of Ryouga. I
needed him to be an actual foil, like he was in the early series, and
a pure martial arts rival (free of the romantic triangle). Plus, while
Ryouga may be strong and fast, with new techniques, he isn't the
biggest fish in the sea, not in the chapter you're up to, and not by
chapter 30. Besides, Ranma seems genetically designed to play catch-up
in these sorts of matches. Don't expect the untouchability to last
forever. Hell, don't expect it to last very long at all.
Also, in gratitude for the reviews, I'll add something onto the end
here.
The following special technique descriptions are right out of the bios
I keep for my own use and reference. (It does contain *some* spoilers)
-Ryouga's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 1)
Bakusai Tenketsu (Blasting Point Technique)
A multipurpose Joketsuzoku technique. Small, direct, and tightly
confined amounts of ki are collected in the extremities, usually a
fingertip, toe or a knuckle, and then used on contact with an
inorganic target. The result is the violent destruction of said
target. Results can vary in size, magnitude of target material
destroyed, and violence of the destruction. Two extremes would be
making an entire brick wall crumple silently into rubble, and to make
a single pebble explode tremendously into a cloud of dust. In battle,
this technique is most useful as a distraction, but can also be used
to destroy large amounts of the battleground, or for destroying
certain weapons.
Bakusai Tenketsu Tokudan (Blasting Point Special)
Ryouga performs a standard Bakusai Tenketsu but has enough control
over the infused ki to delay the explosion for an amount of time.
Alternatively, it can be delayed to have it react on contact with
another object possessing ki, generally any other living
creature/object. Additional refining in the technique could make it
react only to specific, or individual ki.
Bakusai Tenketsu Dan (Blasting Point Bomb)
In this extrapolation of the Bukusai Tenketsu, Ryouga strikes the
ground with his finger and keeps it there while in a crouched
position. With the connection with the ground constant, a steam of ki
is sent into the material causing it to vibrate. Standard Bakusai
Tenketsu explosions can then be created virtually anywhere, of almost
any magnitude and in large numbers until either the connection is
broken, or until Ryouga grows exhausted. Alternatively, multiple
separate explosions can be triggered at once, leading to a far greater
cumulative effect.
Kachuu Tenshi Amaguriken (Roasting Imperial Chestnut Fist)
A powerful speed-boost Joketsuzoku technique, it delivers a flurry
of blows faster than the untrained, normal human eye can follow.
Against a highly skilled opponent, the effect is to overload his or
her defenses with a large number of essentially meaningless, weaker
blows, forcing an opening to occur. A single, powerful blow then ends
the cycle of the Amaguriken, taking advantage of the opening it
created. Against slower or less skilled opponents, the technique
simply delivers a large number of blows to the opponent in a short
amount of time, as well as causing fatigue as the opponent tries to
dodge, and psychological fear from the sheer number of blows being
thrown. Ryouga's version of the technique is geared towards the
former, rather than the latter.
Yubisaki Ishimi Miketsukan (Finger Touch Imprisonment)
Derived from the school of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics and
The Hibiki School of Anywhere-Goes Survival, in this technique Ryouga
touches an opponent's clothing, infusing small amounts of ki into the
material, altering its properties. Instantly, the clothes constrict,
harden, and grow heavier. The effect is as if the victim's clothes
turned to pure lead, hampering movement, breathing, agility, and
flexibility greatly. When used on normal people, it can completely
immobilize them, and eventually suffocate them if the clothes are
naturally tight. Additionally, once applied, the hardened clothes
become susceptible to Bakusai Tenketsu type explosions. Does not work
on plastic or leather.
Tekimen Kongou Gishu (Instant Diamond Hand)
Also derived from the school of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics
and the Hibiki School, the 'Instant Diamond Hand' technique is almost
always defensive in nature. Clothes are treated before hand to
infusions of ki, making the material slightly heavier and stronger, as
well as giving it reactive properties. This takes time, different
depending on the material used. Note that it can also, if desired,
have an opposite effect - making an article of clothing lightweight
and thin, or even meld large numbers of pretreated items together in
large numbers. Specially treated clothes react to sharp objects,
blades, and cutting attacks by stiffening and hardening to the
consistency of diamond in the location hit - in effect making the
wearer immune to virtually any physical cutting attack, as well as
dulling ki based cutting attacks. It also works on such things as
bullets, arrows, and other piercing projectiles.
Tekimen Kongou Toushin (Instant Diamond Blade)
Also known as the Iron Cloth technique, it was adapted, improved
and modified to fit more seamlessly into the Hibiki School. Like its
sister technique, the Tekimen Kongou Gishu, the 'Diamond Blade' takes
an article of cloth, in Ryouga's case generally either a belt or
bandanna, and infuses it with ki, making it diamond hard and strong as
well as possessing an incredibly keen edge, though the effects are
variable. This can turn a cloth or silk bandanna into a shuriken
capable of cutting through high tensile steel cable, or it can turn an
otherwise ordinary belt into a sword: a sword harder, lighter, and
sharper than any metal blade.
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 15)
Saotome Ryu Ougi (Saotome Secret Technique)
Based on the concepts of 'Motion, Distance and Contemplation' this
technique involved faking a lunge, turning at the last second, and
running like hell. It is a technique of last resort when facing an
opponent too powerful to face, or one you have no idea how to defeat.
It involved running away, thinking up something new, and then
attacking again.
-Ranma's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 1)
Neko Ken (Cat Fist)
A cat style martial arts technique taught to Ranma by his father
Genma. Learning this involved a young Ranma being tied up in fish
sausage (or other edibles) and being thrown repeatedly into a pit full
of hungry cats. This is the cause of his ailurophobia. When
sufficiently scared out of his wits, Ranma reverts to a cat-like
state. His speed is essentially the same, but his hands operate with
invisible cat-like ki claws capable of shredding most materials with
ease. However, it also saps his will and intelligence (he literally
acts like a cat). Only shock to his nervous system (such as his curse
being activated, or an electrical shock) or relaxation into sleep will
return him to normal.
Kachuu Tenshi Amaguriken (Roasting Imperial Chestnut Fist)
A powerful speed-boost Joketsuzoku technique, it delivers a flurry
of blows faster than the untrained, normal human eye can follow.
Against a highly skilled opponent, the effect is to overload his or
her defenses with a large number of essentially meaningless, weaker
blows, forcing an opening to occur. A single, powerful blow then ends
the cycle of the Amaguriken, taking advantage of the opening it
created. Against slower or less skilled opponents, the technique
simply delivers a large number of blows to the opponent in a short
amount of time, as well as causing fatigue as the opponent tries to
dodge, and psychological fear from the sheer number of blows being
thrown. Ranma's version of the technique is geared towards the latter,
rather than the former. In Ranma's 'Super' version of the technique,
both his arms attack in separate full speed Amagurikens, instead of
just one.
Saotome Ryu Ougi (Saotome Secret Technique)
Based on the concepts of 'Motion, Distance and Contemplation' this
technique involved faking a lunge, turning at the last second, and
running like hell. It is a technique of last resort when facing an
opponent too powerful to face, or one you have no idea how to defeat.
It involved running away, thinking up something new, and then
attacking again.
Mouko Rakuchi Sei (Fierce Tiger Falling Strength)
Another secret technique of the Saotome School. In it, place both
hands, palm down, on the ground, face your opponent, look them in the
eye... and apologize profusely while bowing for clemency.
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 12)
Hiryu Shoten Ha (Rising Dragon Heaven Blast)
Another powerful Joketsuzoku technique, this is Ranma's most
powerful move if used under the right circumstances. It is unique in
that it relies not on Ranma's internal ki energy, but on the hot ki
given off by an enraged opponent, or already present in the area. In
this, the classical version of the technique, Ranma draws his opponent
into a spiral, his 'cold ki' breaking up the hot, and creating a clash
of temperatures. In the center of the spiral, the technique is
activated (generally in the form of an uppercut), and an intense
tornado erupts from the spot, sweeping up anyone nearby - the tighter
the spiral and the more powerful (and angry) the opponent, the more
powerful the resulting Hiryu Shoten Ha. The move can also be utilized
as a horizontal attack, though due to the lack of a proper spiral, it
is weaker in this form. The Yari version (Rising Dragon Heaven Spear
[LC21]) uses a much tighter spiral allowing it to drill through other
ki attacks or defenses, making it more difficult to counter or defeat.
Happo Dai Karin (Happy's Big Fire Bomb)
The signature technique of Happosai, the lecherous founder of
Anything Goes Martial Arts, in it Ranma draws on his ki, using it to
twist and 'pull' matter out of a sort of nullspace. His ki forms into
what looks like a large firecracker, and the amount of ki infused into
'drawing' the bomb is proportional to its total explosive potential,
which unlike real world explosives, is a quasi-perfect reaction
involving the decompression of the stored ki energy. Thus all bomb
material is totally consumed, leaving no residue beyond a scattering
of carbon ash. This separates it from a simple conventional explosive.
Once lit, it is then generally thrown at a target, giving an opponent
a chance to dodge, reflect or otherwise knock it away before it
explodes. Advanced versions of the technique can also be made to
explode on contact/proximity and to be directed primarily in one
direction (as opposed to an omni directional spherical explosion).
Saotome Ryu Urawaza Hiougi (Saotome School Underhanded Techniques)
Roga Shuhai Tai (Wolf Fang Attack from Behind Figure)
Yell, "Look! Over there!" and attack from behind.
Mouko Ichigeki Tai (Fierce Tiger Hit Figure)
Point at floor and say, "Look 100 yen!" then hit opponent.
Kaeru Rekishi Tai (Frog Run Over and Killed Figure)
Pretend to cry. Then hit your opponent when he comes close.
Umisenken School (Old as Sea Punch School)
Hakuda Toshin Shou (White Snake Spitting True Palm)
Slip under an opponent so at so get behind them, and strike all
along both sides of the back, in almost a single motion. Training for
this technique typically involves practice breaking into people's
drawers and stealing from them or rearranging their things at
incredible speed. The resulting blows are fast, but not very powerful.
Shichuu Rakuchi Sei (Brace Falling Down Strength)
Performing this technique involved driving an opponent's feet
apart, disorienting them in preparation for another chain of attacks.
Practice for this technique is to undermine the foundations of a room
or even an entire house.
Goshin Ryu Sei Fu (Self-Protection Falling Star Cloth)
Ranma wraps a wrapping cloth around an opponent's head in a
choking and blinding maneuver. This attack is often chained with the
Ri Giyo Hon Shin and Haizan Tokai Tai.
Ri Giyo Hon Shin (Carp Fish Bodyflip)
Ranma pulls himself up and flips over an opponent's head, holding
the cloth wrapped around it. This brings him into a favorable position
behind his target for other Umisenken moves, most notably the Haizan
Tokai Tai.
Haizan Tokai Tai (High Mountain Reverse Sea Plight)
Now behind an opponent's back, Ranma drives his feet into either
hamstrings or the small of the back, and pulls downward on the cloth
around his enemy's face and neck, constricting them.
Goshin Dai Ryuusei Fu (Self-Protection Big Falling Star Cloth)
Ranma whirls a big wrapping cloth, and disappears from sight. This
invisibility technique can also be done without a cloth, but it leaves
Ranma open to detection through keen observation and willpower, if an
opponent knows what to expect (the cloth distracts the eye while Ranma
'disappears') or is, himself, familiar with similar techniques.
Additionally, disruptive ki, or large amounts of ki saturating an
area, can undo the invisibility effect.
-Mousse's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 1)
Painyao Chuan/Hakuchouken (Fist of the White Swan)
The weapon drawn in this technique is a ceramic training potty in
the shape of a swan. Getting struck by it is both a physical blow, and
an insult. When used properly, especially against an off guard
opponent, the attack is so swift and sudden as to be unseen and
unavoidable (against a ready opponent, it isn't as useful). Mousse had
revised this attack numerous times, increasing the speed with which he
strikes, allowing rapidity of strikes (nearly Amaguriken style), and
bracers in the back of the 'weapon' to allow for slightly more
distance between himself and his opponent, giving it more range. The
potty itself is hollow, and modular, able to potentially accommodate
gasses, poisons, Jyusenkyou water, or any number of additions.
Chiitan Chuan/Keiranken (Hen's Egg Punch)
Mousse pulls out a chicken, which lays several explosive eggs,
which he then throws at an opponent. This attack is primarily used as
a smoke screen for additional attacks. In blinding the enemy, Mousse
seeks to level the playing field, and he will often perform this
maneuver if he loses his glasses.
Dachou Kyaku (Ostrich Leg)
Mousse does a slicing vertical kick aimed at critical nerve
clusters along the neck and face. His posture somewhat resembles that
of an ostrich.
In Chua Chuan/Takazumeken (Hawk Talon Punch)
Mousse swoops down from above, usually at a prone or disoriented
opponent, in a stomping attack wearing shoes with hooked claws on the
ends. The object is obviously to rake his opponent.
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 25 (?))
Karasu Sansai Ha (Raven Storm Wave)
Mousse leans forward, and thrusts his sleeves forward, shooting
out thousands of tiny stinging flechettes (small darts), 'drawn' and
charged with ki. It is primarily directed forward, with a thirty
degree cone of fire, but that cone can be narrowed, or turned into a
sweeping wave if he then moved his arms out, potentially covering
every angle except between four and eight o'clock (the rear quarter).
Hou Goki Sesshiyakuwan (Words of the Male Phoenix Enraged)
A true desperation Final Attack, Mousse converts the access ki he
uses to draw objects from nullspace into producing a potent chemical
reaction. The chemicals potassium permanganate and glycerin are drawn
from nullspace as a spray (one from the left, one from the right) and
mixed together in midair. The resulting chemical reaction
instantaneously bursts into flames.
-Ukyou's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 1)
Konadan (Flour Bomb)
Ukyou produces a large (fragile) bag of flour, which she throws to
blind an opponent. It comes in both large and small versions. The
large bomb is used to create a smoke screen into or out of which Ukyou
can retreat or provide cover. The smaller versions are used in small
balls and thrown at the face. On contact, the powder blinds her
target, stunning and disorienting them.
Tenpuradan (Tempura Gunpowder Bomb)
This attack consists of a chemical mixture of tempura flakes,
refined homemade gunpowder, and trigger chemicals. This unstable
mixture is thrown at an opponent. On contact with moisture and skin it
begins to explode and crackle. While posing a threat to normal people,
it generally has little effect on seasoned martial artists, but it can
pose a significant screen and irritant, as well as forcing an opening
in an otherwise well guarded defense.
Okonomiyakidan (Okonomiyaki Bomb)
Another variation in the 'bomb' theme, this comes in the form of
an okonomiyaki that is thrown like a disc. It does not seem to have a
ki component to it, save that it holds together in flight. On impact,
it produces a more dangerous explosion than any of her other 'bomb'
attacks. The remains of the Okonomiyaki Bomb itself serve as a sticky
and stinging skin and eye irritant. It is conceivable that some form
of fragmentary warhead could be added to the mixture (nails, tacks,
etc) but Ukyou, by nature, is loath going down that road.
Kinbaku Gomu Iri Takisoba (N/A)
A thick rope of rubbery soba-noodles, used to wrap up an opponent,
or at least delay them. Can be quite tasty (part of the delaying
effect) or quite gross (the same). Taste at your peril.
-Shampoo's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 1)
Xi Fa Xiang Gao (N/A)
An Amazon attack that does no physical damage, but can affect the
human brain. In it a certain shampoo with an alchemical ingredient
'formula 110' is used on the target's scalp, in combination with some
pressure points. The hair is then dried off in around 56 seconds,
leaving the target feeling both refreshed and slightly confused. A
successful use of this technique can wipe out select memories (though
only minor ones can be permanently removed; strong feelings or
memories tend to return over time and through exposure).
"Box Blower Blow"
This is an Amazon technique of unknown origin. A tiny infusion of
ki, delivered via the fingers, is used to disrupt the contents of a
box. This was used in the Martial Arts Takeout Race to good effect,
where it would destroy the contents (food) in contestant's boxes
simply and efficiently. It would also work on most 'wet' products, or
those with large amounts of water, but would be ineffective against
dry targets, like a cardboard box with a Ming Vase in it, encased in
Styrofoam. Serious use against an unshielded and unprepared human body
could cause discomfort and indigestion.
Kinbaku Chao Mien (Chow Mein Strike)
In this technique, Shampoo uses special noodles to completely
encapsulate the victim's head, forcing the person to eat the noodles
or suffocate. The results of this move are a product both of the
special creation of the noodles, and the ability of the user/feeder.
Hohoemi Sannen Goroshi (Smiling Three Years of Murder)
A specialty of the Joketsuzoku, when a female is upset with some male
- typically her husband, this is one option they can legally use.
Basically, it involves playing petty and painful tricks for 3 years
while pretending to be happy. Examples would be: Putting pins in his
shoes, 'accidentally' tipping food/drink onto him, 'accidentally'
tripping him up, 'accidentally' hitting him with a fly-swatter while
going for flies and breaking his favorite bowl. It is considered by
some males (especially Amazon ones) to be worse than just being
divorced or killed outright.
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 30+)
"Women Hero Terror Strike" (Amazon Terror Technique)
(Still under development)
(Also Note: Some sort of ki attack, ref: Movie 2? Hmm. Maybe.)
-Herb's List-
Techniques (Timeframe: LC Part 5)
Ryu-sei Hishou (Dragon Spirit Flight)
This is the technique that allows Herb to fly, effortlessly, and
maneuver in midair. It works by focusing his ki around him, and
precisely changing the intensity of ki focused on different areas of
excited air around him. This is obviously and incredibly difficult
technique to master, because it requires incredible levels of
concentration and mental preparation just to move in a single
direction. It is almost as difficult just trying to get used to
thinking three dimensionally, without the consequence of gravity. Over
time, however, Herb has learned to use this technique as second
nature, and with a great degree of subtleness - the technique is in
constant use, even when Herb walks or sits. When fully in use, this
technique can also be used defensively to repulse an attempted grapple
or attack. It can also be used offensively, with seeking ki attacks
that bounce off the ground, giving no indication of their direction
and making them impossible to predict or block.
Hitou Ryu Zan Ha (Flying Blade Dragon Beheading)
Herb's preferred 'ki blade' technique. At his beckon, ki surged
down Herb's arm, coalescing just above the knuckles. This forms into a
ki blade between one and three feet long, as well as a solid ki shield
that extends down the arm to the elbow. The ki blade excites the
localized air at its edge, heating it, and giving it a bluish glow as
a result of ionization. It is this layer of superheated air, one
molecule thick at the edge, which does the actual cutting. Behind
that, the ki blade functions identically to that of a solid shield,
allowing the ki blade to block or parry attacks. If Herb wishes, the
blade can be detached and thrown as a projectile. Severing the ki
connection with Herb, however, causes the ki to eventually
discorporate, and the ki blade typically disintegrates five seconds
after it is 'thrown.'
Ryu Gu Seidou (Dragon Palace Sanctuary)
An advanced general-purpose ki shielding technique: it is a
double-layered shield, the first being a kinetic dampening field of
ki-excited air ('heavy air') that reduces the energy of projectiles
and disrupts the cohesion of ki attacks. The second layer, less than
an inch behind the first, is a solid ki shield that automatically
detects and counters an attack, be it ki, or kinetic energy based. The
remaining force of the attack is simply matched. For example, a bullet
striking this layer would have its remaining kinetic energy and heat
absorbed by the ki shield, and would promptly fall impotently to the
ground. Obviously, this shield works best against a large number of
weaker attacks (which expend themselves against the first layer). It
is less effective against a single, powerful, highly concentrated
attack (where the dampening advantage is minimized). Additionally, the
shield has to be dropped for Herb to breathe and fire his own attacks.
If the shield is crafted along spherical lines, then openings will
appear almost anywhere. If the shield is skin-tight, then the openings
would be around Herb's nose and mouth, and the palms of his hands.
Generic Ki Attacks (N/A)
Herb's generic unnamed ki attacks come in three varieties. All ki
'blasts' have these three elements to them, but in different
proportions. The first effect is concussion - a result of the
'density' of the blast and the amount of 'heavy air' generated by the
ki. A ki attack that is primarily concussive in nature would blast
down a wooden wall in a spray of chips and splinters. At the opposite
end of the spectrum, a ki attack can have almost no physical
concussive component, with a substance akin to a light mist. The
second effect is heat - a result of thermal excitation directly
related to the amount of ki focused into the attack, and its
concentration. A ki attack that is primarily thermal in nature would
erupt a wooden wall in fire, quickly reducing it to ash. The effect
would be highly localized, however, and would generally not start a
'natural fire,' as the thermal effect is directly caused by ki, not
normal combustion. In opposition, the ki attack can also be very cold,
instead of very hot. The third effect is vibration - a result of the
cohesion and craft of the attack. A very excited attack hitting a
wooden wall would crack it down the middle, from the inside out.
(Whew!)
- J.B. Wagner
jbw@wpi.edu
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