"J. B-Wagner" <jbw@wpi.edu> writes:
Part 6:
"As a fighter he's formidable. In keeping with his training, and the
doctrines of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu, he's extremely agile and versatile,
creative and opportunistic. He finds a weakness, and exploits it...
often ruthlessly, from what I've observed and heard of him. While an
excellent martial artist, as a human being I find him lacking. His so
called 'honor' is almost non existent, in my opinion." Ryouga noticed
Yoiko getting a bit anxious and decided to explain himself. "He
promises to keep secrets, and yet he takes every opportunity to
indirectly expose them. He's untrustworthy. Additionally, perhaps as
part of his upbringing and training, he's also rude, short sighted,
selfish, a glutton...."
Ouch. Painful spin on Ranma. If 'Yoiko' weren't here, I'd wonder if
Akane would try to defend him?
"At least he isn't a pig," Yoiko blurted out. Ryouga flinched,
noticeably, and Nabiki smiled.
"You're digging your own grave," The middle Tendo daughter whispered.
"It's really very entertaining."
"Shut up," Yoiko whispered back, then turned to Ryouga. "Please, big
brother, continue!"
"He's more animal than man, really. And the way he flaunts his curse
to get what he wants, and to manipulate people is disgusting! True, I
made a mistake. Not a night, not a day goes by that I don't loathe
myself for what I did, and for what I almost kept doing. Ranma,
however, seems to have no remorse for his actions, and his indecision.
He goads others into fighting him, and then denies blame. He toys with
Kuno, alternating encouraging him to hit on his female form, and then
bashing his face in. He mocks Akane, mercilessly exploiting even the
smallest fault, and never... NEVER does he show remorse. He has no
concept of right and wrong... only what he wants, or does not want.
He's a pre-Madonna and a narcissist."
Hmm... is that a pun? The Italian is 'prima donna', although I guess
Ranma could eventually end up putting cones on and getting up on
stage...
(unlikely, however, to bear a messiah ;-)
"You don't understand." He looked at her, at both Tendo sisters.
"She'll be lost... I'll never see her again... I... I've screwed up...
Just when I find someone... I chase them away. I'm such an idiot!"
Touching moment.
A simple heat butt had Ranma seeing a miniature version of the
cosmos.
head butt
Ryouga's eyes moved to two police officers that had just left their
car, as it was still rumbling, the engine left on. They both had
pistols drawn, the usual .38 caliber revolver, aimed at him, and only
then did he notice that the streets were almost deserted. Had he been
in possession of a clearer head, just then, he would have realized
what the situation appeared to be: a large, angry and dangerous
looking man holding a beaten and battered woman up like a rag doll,
shaking and yelling at her. As it was, he saw the guns, and dismissed
them. They were aiming at his chest. His Tekimen Kongou Gishu made him
effectively immune to being shot there, and at this range he could
probably dodge the low powered bullets if he had to anyway.
The contrast in this paragraph seems odd. The 'didn't realize what it
looked like' doesn't quite match up with 'ignoring the police because
he is INVINCIBLE! INVINCIBLE I say!' I'd suggest moving the first
point to another paragraph (perhaps a realization of Nabiki or Akane),
or explain why Ryouga thinks the police have their guns out (to
protect in case he rampages against innocents (i.e., non-Ranma)?)
Oh, rather than flood the list, I'll just append my short comment on part 7:
Mousse saw Ukyou's features soften again. To say that she had been
worried was a drastic understatement. She had cried like a woman
possessed from the moment she arrived to the moment he and Shampoo had
finally dragged her back to her restaurant. Mousse had never seen a
woman cry that much... of course, Mousse had never really seen a woman
cry at all before he came to Japan, but she had been in a bad way up
to and until they finally got word that the lost boy had stabilized
and was, indeed, rapidly healing his wounds. He had felt like crying
himself, but he held it in, if only because Ranma wasn't.
wasn't what? Holding it in? Because from Nabiki's description, Ranma
did seem to be holding in any real emotion...