Some general tidbits...oddly enough I was waiting for something like this.
Based on the first VHD movie it seemed to fit naturally with this.  Now
all we need is some Castlevania or Miyu references.

Generally, I enjoyed this, DB.  A good work overall, if rather predictable
from my viewpoint.

Nits:
1) You've got some odd punctuation scheme happening here.  Was this pulled
off of a web page?  The most glaring (and oddly enough, annoying) was the
use of a single space after periods.

2)

Anger overwhelmed her relief at seeing him The bastard had tricked her.

Missed a period there, and there's an odd flow.

3) Actually, overall the flow of this work was odd.  Somewhat stilted, in
fact...unpolished.  I'm not sure if that's more because of the
first-person external viewpoint you're using or what.  It just bothered
me.

--
Christopher Angel
c_j_angel@hotmail.com


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