"It seems to be our only lead," Tofu agreed, his voice cracking
slightly. Akane knew how the he felt about Kasumi; he was obviously

- Looks like you started to say "the doctor", or something, and put in "he",
then forgot to take out "the".

She fell alongside Ranma as they walked away from the abandoned
village back toward the river, feeling a large emptiness settle at the

- Fell in (or fell-in, however it's written). Otherwise you'd have
Ranma and Akane horizontal, though I'm sure *they* wouldn't mind
that too much...^-^



The long-haired prisoner screamed something as his naked body

- They didn't give Mousse any clothes at all? o_o That's really harsh.
I would have thought maybe some old rags at least to keep him from
freezing to death (or severe sickness).



She stepped to the foot of the stairs. The hair was white, the skin
covered in wrinkes, just as before. She pushed her fingers into the
body's wrists, and then its chest, checking for a pulse. There was none.
She had wondered whether Ms. Kuonji would survive the transformation,
after Shan Pu had, but it seemed that the okomiyaki chef was not so
fortunate.

- So...Ukyo's dead now? ;_; Nah, I don't think she is. I'm confused though.
Good job. I knew Kodachi was still alive because, for some reason, I
scrolled
down to read the comments from the Eternal Lost Lurker before reading. My
own fault entirely.


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