Subject: [FFML] Re: [Hellsing/The Shadow] [repost] Under the Shadow of Hell: Prologue to Chapter 6
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 6/26/2003, 3:21 PM
To: "Elsa Bibat" <aerolbj@i-next.net>, <ffml@anifics.com>



Elsa Bibat wrote:


Prologue

 Dame Integra Wingate Fairbrooks Helsing, hereditary Knight
Commander of the Protestant Order of the National Knights of Hellsing,
savored the taste of her cigar as she looked over her mail.
 After weeks of her incarceration and subsequent weeks of
preparation, Hellsing was finally back to operational capacity.

Now we have the timeframe.

The
"very thorough" fake investigation, orchestrated by the Queen and MI5's
infamous Diogenes Club, had cleared her of all wrongdoing and made her
a free woman. The Helsing Institute was still not in full operating
capacity, though it was well on its way.

Managed to find enough red shirts, eh? ^_^

 Already, the Hellsing mansion was experiencing several upgrades
in defensive equipment. Cameras had been set around the perimeter,
along with some rather nasty surprises that Walter had concocted for
the unwary.

He'd be the man to do it.

her incarceration, trusting to the Queen's mandate. Her blindspot would
have to be filled eventually, but before that she trusted Diogenes
enough for the job. They were like her in a way, dedicated to Queen and
Country in heart and mind, unlike some of those idiots on the Round
Table.

At least until one of them tries to stab her in the back.

 General Hannay, a family acquaintance, had helped her do a
selection of new officers and troops for her military arm. Personal
screenings and complete background checks were required. She had
somehow managed to get the Institute to full battalion strength, with
people she could trust.

A battlion of people she could trust? That's an awful lot of people. Perhaps
'rely upon' rather than something like 'trust'. Integra isn't the type to be
too trusting.

The new commander, a sturdy fellow by the name
of Makepeace, was smart and tough. He was leading a squad right now for
a shakedown strike on a ghoul building in West End.
 She had also

also had

 some help from Walter's old friends. An elite
Hellsing team like the institute had during World War II would not be
remiss right about now. She had ordered Walter himself to find an
apprentice.

Good idea. He is an older fart.

 A white-haired bronze giant of a man visiting her father about
some exercise regimen and a serum...
 "Yes...yes...I remember him. Mother held him in great esteem
didn't she?"

Walter: She held more than that for him, but let's not discuss the sordid
little details.

 "That I am quite sure of, madam."
 Integra steepled her hands before her as she considered the two
items before her. Four million dollars. She was loathe to admit it but
Hellsing was quite strapped for cash lately. The upgrades and repairs
had taken quite a bit out of the institute's annual budget. She had
even been forced to draw from personal funds to supplement it.
 Four million dollars would go a long way. Integra settled back
into her chair. But four million dollars also meant a big favor.

favors. Two different donors, after all.


Chapter 1 Encounters

 Ceres Victoria was a vampire.
 She was faster, stronger, tougher than most human beings. She
has had a hole blown through her lungs, stabbed in the throat,
punctured in the stomach and sundry other things

'wounds' sounds better than 'things'

that would normally
result in her dying.

Well, again. She did die once, which is why she's a vampire. :)

 Her powers, which were slowly emerging, would make
any sane man kill himself before she got their hands on them.
 "And that's the bloody reason why I always get to be point,"
she muttered under her breath as she peered into the gloom. It was
something of a tradition already. She happened to be the most
experienced active agent that Hellsing had, mostly because she survived
where other Hellsing operatives died,

Well, they were cannon fodder. I'm amazed the Hellsgin organization lasted
as long as it did.

 Now, it was the second floor and they still hadn't found
anything. A multitude of scents permeated everything so that she was
unable to single out anything for tracking.
 The dilapidated floor boards made no sound as she stepped on
them. They would have at least creaked if she had been human or at
least

two 'at least's close together. Drop one.

if she had come here a few months earlier. She had become lighter
on her feet as time past. Pretty soon she'd walk soundless, like a
ghost. Scanning the shadowy darkness with her red eyes, her vision
pierced like a searchlight through the stygian gloom.
 The squad was back on her tail as the creaking floorboards
several meters back

two 'backs' as well

shadows.
 "Mas-"
 This was not her Master. The gun touching her forehead was not
her Master's Jackal. Instead of her master's

need to capitalize that one


 "GET OUT! GET OUT! THIS IS POINT, EVERYONE OUT! NOW!"
 Hellsing rule of survival number three: when the vampire
screams and runs like hell trying to get out, you get out.

Heh. Finally learning, are they?

 Ceres was looking at the vacant lot that used to be the target.
Then she looked up.
 As if the building was still there, unseen.

Yep. It takes a bit, but Khan showed it was possible

 Suddenly, the two separated. Glaring eyes judged, azure eyes
meeting scarlet, as they regarded each other. The freakish creature had
for its troubles a piece of torn cloth and horrendous wounds that were,
against all natural law, starting to close. The being in black was
unscathed, standing tall in front of one shadow-darkened window.
 The creature started to laugh, a horrible braying sound that
grated on the ears. It was a thing of clicks and scratches with a
tongue slavering along as accompaniment. The thing drew a ragged
breath, as if gathering spit, then spat out several pieces of shining
metal.

Nice description.

 With a flick of the wrist, one of the gloved hands produced a
small rectangular box with a blinking red button. The shadows that had
encased the window behind the dark figure retreated to show the London
skyline.
 "NOOON!!"

Heh.


 Aim up, little Ceres.
 The thought slid into her mind like a snake. Her telepathic
link with her Master quivered at the urgentness of the order.
 She aimed up, with a little smile on her lips. At least he
calls me by my name now and the thought warmed her dead heart a little
like a bottle of fresh blood.

Heh. again.

 "The... you mean you know who that was?" Ceres gaped and turned
around. There was no trace of the shadowy figure that had landed on the
street.
 Her Master was letting a vampire get away. Alucard never did
that.
 "Binding covenants, my dear. Enough of that. You have to make a
report, you know. Integra will be so delighted you managed to cause
such a ruckus."
 Ceres blinked as she looked up at her Master's face, then
turned her gaze to the burning building.
 "Shit."

Heh. Nice touches of humor throughout.

 "What?" Innocence in an angelic face of a demon.
 He sighed a long-suffering sigh. Suffering was long, endless if
one were immortal.

Everything is endless if you're immortal. :)

 "Schrodinger. Wilhelmina Schrodinger. Right?" Talmadge looked
up from the passport as he looked

two 'looked's close together. I'd change one.

 at the person waiting patiently for
her papers.
 Green eyes twinkled behind a pair of glasses. Brushing a stray
lock of golden hair from her face, she nodded with a smile. Whoa, those
are sharp.

That sounds too much like a comment to the reader. I'd make it more neutral.

 "Ja. That is me." The faint lilt of an accent lent her voice an
alluring tinge of the exotic. German was his guess. Looking down again,

he blinked in surprise.
 Argentina. Must be one of those immigrant things.

Lots of German's have emigrated to Argentina over the years. :)

 As the woman sashayed away, out of Heathrow, Talmadge turned to
his co-worker, Trowbridge.
 "That was one sexy cat, right, chap?" Talmadge laughed at his
joke.
 "Huh?" Trowbridge was obviously lost.
 "Cat! Schrodinger! Cat! Get it!"

Went over my head as well. Brands of beer is about the derth of my knowledge
of the German language. :)

    I hate my job.
    "Sergeant Victoria, I believe you've already read the recent
circular I sent out to all the departments of our organization, haven't
you?"
    Not that a blood-drinking dead girl can have a very big field of
employment.
    "Let's take a look at it, shall we?"
    I mean, well, my only other work experience is working

'work/ing' is redundent. I'd change one.


    "-I bloody said 'low profile' and I bloody well meant 'low
profile'!! And what did you do?! Fire off a high explosive anti-tank
round in the middle of city!! How is _that_ low profile!?

Compared to a vampiric massacre, it's downright unnoticeable.

    "I am waiting for an answer, Sergeant."
    "Reflex, sir," Ceres responded in the military manner, using the
masculine address. Well, there's another thing to put on my job
application sheet: period of employment in a covert paramilitary
organization.
    "Reflex?" Integra had composed herself back into her stiffly
relaxed pose in her high-backed seat. An arched eyebrow above steepled
hands. "Ah, yes. The reach-for-the-big-gun reflex that seems to plague
the vampiric members of our organization."

Big problems require bigger calibres. :)

    The sardonic tone of her voice accompanied the shift of her
attention. "And what were you doing while all this was occurring,
Alucard."

Alucard?"

    Out of the corner of her eye, Ceres felt and saw her Master uncoil
from his amused stupor like a snake. His relaxed stance and wide grin
radiated that strange aura of menacing power mixed with bon homme good
humor. His response was couched in his customary drawling tease.
    "Observing, master.

Master (it is her title to him)

told her she wanted a look at the sun. He would have bought her a pair
of sunglasses if she had only told her, he said in his gravelly voice.
A thing which he did, that very day.
     Ceres had this sneaking suspicion that she

he

 hadn't told her on
purpose, but she couldn't think ill of anyone and let it go. Alucard
had only laughed when he heard of her experience.
    "Walter is a rough taskmaster in his own way, police girl,"

Police Girl

    "I'm pleased. Here. Have a bunny."

Ceres: I prefer them to be made out of chocolate.

    There was dark humor in Alucard's red eyes as he interrupted her
once again.


extra break here.

    "I can't just kill George!"
    "Why?" He honestly doesn't know!

I think he'd be aware if he was dead, actually. :)

    "I- I won't do it." Her throat was burning and she felt her tongue
go dry and her itching fangs were driving her crazy.
    "Really?"
    "Really." She was gritting her teeth and was carefully trying not
to clench her fist so as not to squeeze George like a toothpaste tube.

That would sort of defeat the purpose of the lesson, to be sure.

    Ceres suppressed a groan.
    "Now, now, little Ceres. It concerns you little streak of
curiosity. I felt you

your

 The sun was bright and beautiful.
 Irritatingly so.
 Dame Integra Helsing rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and
yawned, blinking back the powerful onslaught of the sun's morning rays
in her eyes. Dressed in pajamas and a voluminous woolen bathrobe,
rabbit slippers slapping lightly on the carpeted floor,

nice touch.

out of his way to be a total ass and present a slovenly appearance, his
handsome features and the majesty of his presence still shone through.
His fledgeling it seems was still unaware of what she was doing to most
of the people in her vicinity, most probably because most

drop the first 'most'

  Thankfully enough,

'enough' seems unnecssary.

me feel more relaxed." The delivery was so innocent that it almost
bordered on pornographic. Even though she was looking away and Ceres
was wearing her sun glasses,

sunglasses

Integra suppressed any outward show of her ingrained instinctive
disgust at any thought of drinking blood. She was aware of what her
charges did, but she didn't have to be forcibly reminded of it. "Is
that the problem? Is he forcing you? Because, if he is-"

Integra: There's not a damn thing I can do about it. He does call the shots,
you know.

 Ceres nodded.
 "Well, why does Alucard calling you his 'bride', worry you?"
 "Er... I was going to ask Walter what it meant-"
 "Why Walter and not me?"
 "Ah...Walter knows a lot of things about-
 "And I don't?"

Ceres: Obviously not.

 "What?"
 Integra was sure that her cheeks were red by now. "Well, what
did Alucard do after he turned you?"

Ceres: Killed a bunch of ghouls.

 Integra gaped at her. "Still?"
 "Yes. Why is-"
 "One of the more important things that makes a person a prime
candidate for turning is the fact that he or she has had no sexual
intercourse in his or her life. A virgin."
 Ceres was obviously blinking with the way her eyebrows were
going up and down.
 "Does that mean Master's a-"
 "No. That's another part of the ritual. The elder is supposed
to... deflower the newly turned vampire. Are you sure-"
 "We-well, everything was a blur and I- It felt so good when he
bit me, it was like flying and I got sort of...what's sex supposed to
feel like, Integra?"

Integra: Disappointing. Usually the man's on top of you for less than five
minutes, and once he's done, he falls asleep. Stupid pigs, all of them.

 Oh, great. The image of her being a sexual consultant for a
vampire was almost too much for her and the absurdity of the situation
took her near to the brink of laughter. "I'm not exactly the person to
ask that particular question."
 "Huh?"
 "Let's just say that in some circles I'm called, not exactly
politely or respectfully, the 'Iron Virgin'."

Ceres: Are you?

Integra; Of course, not counting that one time I got drunk and took on my
college's circket team. It doesn't count if you're drunk.

 Integra was thinking of someone else doing the checking, so it
was with a definite effort that she suppressed a blush. "No. Besides,
it would be rather moot with you vampiric healing, wouldn't it?"

Would it? Otherwise it would be constant deflowering, eh? :)

 "Ah, yes. Sorry about that."
 "So...are there anymore problems?"

Ceres: Athletes' Foot.

 Jack whistled appreciatively. One of those.
 'Second-story' was the euphemism that the servants used to call
the second floor of the Diogenes Club, probably the most secretive
place in the entirety of London. Visitors had come and gone in strange
hours to that mysterious place and almost always something happened in
the newspapers.

Heh. Nice way of saying what  goes on without saying it.

Quartermass?"
 "Can't find another, 'Integer'."

Neither nick is particularly desireable. :)

 Another one of those unexplainable things that plagued her life
was why she hadn't killed her yet. Sartre was right. Hell was an
eternity with your friends.
 Moira Quartermass was the scion of a scientific dynasty that
had made great contributions to the progress of science, though most of
those contributions had to be kept secret because they usually meant
'the end of life as we know it'.

Heh

Moira had lived and breathed the
sciences ever since she could talk and she was probably the greatest
repository of profane scientific data on the planet.
 She was also, in Integra's opinion, totally and completely
insane.

They usually are. It's just a question of what direction the insanity takes.
Some can be fairly constructive.

 Moira was of the same opinion, but of a different standpoint.
How dare this inbred ignorant noble order her around? Superstitious
little bint! She even believes in vampires! How medieval can you get?
Four years of gibes, insults, practical jokes and other sundry events
followed.

Heh.Cute

 Their conversation was interrupted by Moira pulling out a Beretta
9mm from her labcoat and pumping its entire clip into the woman dressed
in a red uniform who had come up to them and was about to say hello.
 Integra just arched an eyebrow as the woman slid down the wall
and slumped on the ground. Motionless green eyes stared up at her from
behind a fan of crimson hair. She glanced to the scientist at her side
who was still holding the smoking gun in her hand. No one in E Branch
seemed to have noticed that their Director just shot one of their
workmates.
 "You have a good explanation for this?"

I am interested in it.

 "Captain Jeremiah Black was Samantha's former superior in the
Army, they were both abducted during a little expedition under E Branch
auspices. Unfortunately, Captain Black was totally subverted and serves
the Mysterons totally."

'totally is redundant.


Notes:

Doc Savage and Hellsing: Doctor Savage's heritage in the Hellsing
world is rather large. See the second novel in this series, "Hell's
Doctor".

Hmm

Diogenes Club: An alternate version of Anno Dracula's Diogenes
Club.
Latin dialogue: it's perfectly understandable if you know your
M.R. James and are skilled in English.
Shadow eating building: See The Shadow movie's Hotel Monolith
sequence in reverse.

Knew that one.

Humor factor: I'm using the anime plot but injecting the manga flavor,
where it was more comedic.
Nazi vampires: The ultimate villains of any story. ^_^ From the Hellsing
manga.

Hmm. Have to get some of that.

Hellsing acronym: Totally canon. Look it up.

It had to come from somewhere.

Dame Parvati Helsing: Imagine Himemiya Anthy as Buffy the Vampire Slayer
and you'll get my drift. Anthy the Vampire Slayer, anyone? ^_^

Urk!

Giles: Imagine a world without a Slayer, without a Watcher council. Trust
me,
he'll get work somehow.

Of course.

Very nice work. It flowed very well and set things up nicely. Almost like
90k of prologue, in a way. Very intruiging and makes me want to read more.
Mixed everything well. I approve.

DB Sommer





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