Okay, now that I'm completely caught up in this, I'll give my opinion on the
work so far. Over the mailing list, as you've stated that you prefer.



(*Hitting enter a few times to keep spoilers hidden well enough*)




For the most part, I liked your prequels. In the Kodachi one, I liked a
certain reference you made to Flatlanders. It reminded me of a book I read
several years ago, about all the different dimensions in a world and a
young, outcast boy who was assigned to guard the 2 dimension. Kodachi was
the 3D girl, looking at the 2D people, and it fit wonderfully.

In the Ryoga one...okay, I know it's Akari. And I KNOW she likes pigs...but
the pig jokes are laid on a little thick in that particular part. But it's
still good, none-the-less, and I like the bandanna idea. I hate how most
writers always want to solve the problems of the characters, and giving only
a partial solution here was fitting.

The Akane part was good, and I liked how the wedding happened. The thing
with her ex was odd, though....it feels thrown in. I understand why you did
it, though. The part near the end where Shampoo kisses Mousse had me very
confused, until I realized it was so Shampoo could distract him long enough
to get by.

Mousse and Asuza, however...I have a hard time getting my head around that
one. Isn't there a large age difference, there? But maybe not. ^-^ You are
portraying Mousse well, and this was generally good.

Gosunkugi seemed fitting, as well as Kasumi and Nabiki. I love how Kasumi is
a priestess, and I'm eager to learn more about what it is she can do.

For Ranma's...I'm glad you mentioned that quote from Takahashi, about how
she didn't want to imagine a pregnant Ranma, and neither should you ^-^ But
pregnant Ranma worked quite well, I found.

Okay, that's it for the prequels. Now, the actual fic...to be honest, this
so far is just a war story with the Ranma characters. Which can work,
really, but by the time you get to the 3rd part, I feel as though I know
what's going on in the hearts and minds of the characters you created rather
then our beloved Ranma crew. I know this is supposed to be The Amazons
against their oppressors, but it's obvious you're still wanting character
development between our heroes and heroines.

You've handled Ryoga and his curse, and Akane's reactions, beautifully.
You've handled Akane very well too, and Shampoo. And Kodachi...until she
died. I had a feeling that she was just being chucked out. No one seemed to
care very much, and I was surprised that Mousse didn't lash out while Ranma
was pretending to be Kodachi in female form (or at least, trying to). I know
they didn't love Kodachi, but it felt too...fast. A writer I know once told
me that, in writing, there should be no meaningless deaths. Any death of an
important character needs to happen for a reason. What is the reason for
Kodachi to die? Will we find out this reason? I saw the reason in Cologne's
death, and you handled that wonderfully. But with Kodachi...

There needs to be more here about her, and hopefully there's more in the
next part. Plus where are the reactions from Kuno? Her brother? I know they
don't love each other, but they're siblings. And reactions from Kasumi, too.
You've let us know that she saw something; I'm sure you'll let us know what
that something was, right?

I like what's going on with Ukyo, back in Nerima. Things there are
interesting, and I'm curious to see what you're turning her and Mekido into.
Plus kudos for getting her a cat, the poor girl needs one.

-- Denise





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