"You mean bringing Dudley to Hogwarts to make a decent bloke of
him?" 

Explanation time. Well, it's an interesting theory, and if Harry does
have an ally in the Dursleys' house, life would be simpler... DOubt
Petunia would abuse him if Dudley realized how important Harry really
was.

But I kinda think he's too stupid to. The Dursleys have always
seemed... well, cookie-cutter "wicked step family"

Sakura felt a bit

sorry for
him. "Don't pay any attention," she whispered to him. "They're just
nervous
too."

Enter Sakura and her mahou girl radiance. Let's see if she Usagi-fies
him.

The Great Hall was full of chatter and an air of anticipation. The
evening
sky loomed overhead; the candlelight flickering beneath the
enchanted
ceiling gave the impression of a second sky of stars, much closer
than the
ones above.

I think this description could be worked on here. Either that, or
shift it to where Sakura's scene is - she's the new student, let her
have a sense of awe over the hall. 

"Hey," Ron said, nudging Harry. "I don't see Snape."

Harry scanned the head table. Indeed, the sour, greasy-haired
Potions master
was absent.

This is a bit of a cliche desciption of Snape. *smiles* I think I've
been reading too much Potter ficage, though.

"Reckon he got sacked?" Ron asked.

Harry shook his head. "We're not that lucky."

"Welcome back, everyone," Dumbledore spoke from the head table,
silencing
the many conversations throughout the hall. He smiled. "Well.
Another year.
I know that the effects of the tragedy which occurred here at the
end of
last year are still felt by many of us. But know that life must go
on, and
we should not let that which cannot be changed dampen our spirits.

"Before we begin the Sorting, I would like to announce that for the
first
time in many years, this year Hogwarts will be host to a Muggle
exchange
student." He paused to let the statement sink in. "It is rare, but
not
unheard of, for a Muggle to attend Hogwarts, as part of an effort
to foster
understanding and trust between our two worlds. This year, we have
selected
a candidate that I feel will find much to learn among our kind. 

Really creates a feeling of alienation, "our kind, their kind, his
kind..." I think Dumbledore might realize the subconcious segregation
and try to word things more carefully.

I

ask that
you treat him courteously and make every effort to give him only
the best
impression of wizards." The side door which usually admitted the
first years
opened, and Professor McGonagall escorted a large blonde boy into
the Great
Hall. 

Umm... I think you might change the impression of Dudley. He's FAT.
That's what people think when they see him. "large" is too mild.

"I introduce to all of you our Muggle exchange student,

Dudley
Dursley. Mister Dursley will not be Sorted; rather, it has been
decided that
he will be hosted by the Gryffindor fifth years." 

Probably the only house that'd be able to keep him safe, damn honor.
Hufflepuff would have been good, if not for the whole Cedric mess.

Dumbledore's eyes

twinkled
mischeviously, while Harry and Ron stared at one another. "Mister
Dursley,
please have a seat at the Gryffindor table. Mister Potter, kindly
direct
Mister Dursley to your table please...thank you." Dumbledore paused
as
Dudley waddled 

I love that word. But it automatically triggers "Waddle Waddle, Quack
Quack... " running through my head....

across the hall to where Harry reluctantly signalled

him.
"Now...on to the matter of the Sorting."

* * * * * *



Sakura stood nervously with the rest of the new Hogwarts students,
listening
to the applause fade as the strange hat finished its odd little
song.

"When I call your name, come forward and place the Sorting Hat on
your head.
The Hat will tell you which house will be your home." Professor
McGonagall
unrolled a long scroll of names. "Coleman, Ophelia!"

A pretty girl with short reddish-brown hair stepped up to the stool
and
placed the hat on her head. "RAVENCLAW!" One of the tables erupted
into
applause as the girl smiled, removing the hat and rushing to join
the
Ravenclaws. A few moments later, "Frye, Constance" joined her,
curly blonde
hair bobbing as she slunk to the table, making an odd wiggling
motion with
her hips. Several of the younger boys seemed to appreciate this.

Sakura felt nervous as she watched the other kids try on the hat,
then head
off to their tables to applause. She had been reassured by
Keroberos that
she wouldn't be the only girl at school who hadn't known she was a
witch
until recently, and that many of the students at Hogwarts came from
non-wizard families, and that everybody is on equal footing at the
start,
but...

*smiles sleepily* How come Kero knows so much about Hogwarts? Did
Clow tell him? I asusme he wasn't there when Clow WENT.

"Kinomoto, Sakura!"

Sakura snapped to attention, and blurted out "HAI!" instinctively
as she
scrambled toward the stool with the hat, eliciting a few snickers
from the
Slytherin table. Blushing, she sat and donned the patched old hat.

*Hmm,* a voice echoed inside her head. *There's a name rattling
around in
there I remember. Clow Reed. He was a bright one, yes. A natural
born
Ravenclaw. But you...no. You're bright, yes, but...my, you've been
a busy
little witch recently, haven't you? What with all you've been
through, I
daresay you belong in GRYFFINDOR!"

This is a DUH. 

A loud cheer rose from the Gryffindors as Sakura blinked, stood,
removed the
Sorting Hat, and strode shakily to their table. Her cheeks flamed
at the
attention she was receiving, but she was smiling nevertheless.

"Told you so," Keroberos said from his perch on her shoulder.

Ginny moved over and made room for Sakura, smiling at the younger
girl.
"Glad you're joining us," she said.

"Yeah, welcome aboard," one of her older brothers--she wasn't sure
of their
names yet--said.

This is confusing. I know you mean Ginny's, but if you read it, you
have too many feminine pronouns.

Sakura sat and watched the Sorting, cheering with her housemates.
The bulk
of the first-years seemed to be going to either Ravenclaw or
Slytherin;
aside from herself, only a girl named Tabitha Stevens and two boys
named
Michael Long and Louis Valentine were Sorted into Gryffindor.

Ohhh... deus ex machina. Easier to keep track of.

I do have an issue with this. Hogwarts has hundreds of students and
only FOUR to Gryffindor...? 

Once "Winthorp, William" had been declared a Slytherin, the Sorting
Hat was
taken away, and Professor Dumbledore stood.

"Now, before we begin the feast, a few start-of-term announcements.
As
usual, the Forbidden Forest is off limits at all times. Mister
Filch has
once again presented a new list of banned items; once again, I ask
that you
please see Misters Fred and George Weasley for the full list." A
brief spate
of laughter filled the hall as the two twins stood and took a bow.
"We have
a few students this year who may need a bit of help, as their
native
language is not English. Translation spells and talismans can only
go so
far, so please endeavor to help them if they should ask. Some of
you may
have noticed that Professor Snape is absent this evening; he is
taking a
brief personal leave, and a substitute Potions teacher will be
covering his
classes until he returns. Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts
professor
has not yet arrived, but I have received word that she *will* be
here in
time for classes first thing in the morning." He paused, glancing
around.
"That's enough from me. Tuck in!"

English flavor. Um... you ARE going into who the other non-native
English student is, aren't you? 

Sakura stared as the spotless plates suddenly filled with all kinds
of food.
"Hoe?!"

Ginny grinned. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Sakura."

The young Japanese girl blinked, then gave a wide, happy smile.
"Itadakimasu!" she cried before reaching for the nearest serving
dish.

Ginny blinked. "Eat a what?"

^^;; Gotta love it.

Keroberos chuckled. "That's just something you say before a meal in
Japan.
It's like saying grace. I dunno why the pin choked on it, though.
...oooh, I
haven't had any of THAT in a long time!" Some of the others around
the table
were a bit taken aback as a flying plushie attacked the serving
dishes.

Ginny just shook her head and kept eating. "Never dull around here,
that's
for certain."

Sakura is going to need to bond with her year mates. 

* * * * * *



Dudley's eyes had become very wide as the banquet appeared on the
previously
bare dishes. "Wh--wha--?"

He's in HEAVVVVVEEEEEN...

Ron grinned, and began heaping roast beef and mashed potatoes on
his plate.
"This should be magic you approve of, I wager. Who's got the gravy?
Pass it
this way, thank you..."

Dudley watched the wizards around him heaping food on their plates
and
filling their goblets with an unfamiliar juice for a long moment.
He glanced
at the serving dishes, brow furrowed with thought. Then--

"Well, so much for the diet," Harry chuckled.

That's rotten, evil and wicked line.

"What I don't understand," Hermione said as she slowly, neatly ate
a modest
portion of fish, "is how Dudley is able to see anything in here.
Muggles
can't see Hogwarts for what it really is."

Good train of thought.

"Oh yeah, you said something about that before," Ron said. "They
just see a
pile of rubbish what used to be a castle, right?"

This sentence doesn't read right.

Dudley stopped in mid-bite from a loaf of bread, and said, "I
certainly
don't see any rubbish." He glanced around. "I'm not sure WHAT I
see, though.
And why isn't there a ceiling?"

"There is," Harry said. "It's enchanted to look exactly like the
sky
outside."

"Like a skylight?"

"Something like that."

*nods* I always thought it was like that.

"Maybe the protection spells only work outside the castle,"
Hermione mused.
"What did you see on the boat ride up, Dudley?"

The obese boy blinked. "I saw the lake, the castle, I reckon I saw
the same
thing everybody else saw. Why?"

"And it didn't look run-down to you?"

Dudley shook his head, stuffing a turkey leg into his mouth.

"That IS odd. Why would the protection spells--"

Ron rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Hermione. It's obvious. Dudley's
supposed to be
here, so he can see the place for what it is. Maybe Dumbledore put
a spell
on him to let him see it or something, I dunno."

Or maybe it's cause he knows it's THERE.

Dudley looked a little frightened at the thought of having been
ensorcelled.
Hermione, for her part, looked miffed that ROn had thought of
something she
hadn't.

Typo.

Ron was rather pleased with himself straight through to dessert.



* * * * * *



Sakura stared as a large meatball disappeared into her fuzzy
companion.
"Honestly, Kero-chan! You're being a pig!"

Takoyaki look-alike.

Keroberos grinned broadly. "I can afford it. I don't have a figure
to
watch."

Several of the girls in earshot suddenly put down their forks and
looked
sheepish. Ginny just snorted and speared a roasted potato on her
fork.

Sakura nibbled on a chip, then started laboriously cutting a steak.
"I'm
amazed they feed everyone like this here. It's an awful lot."

Ginny shrugged. "Wizards don't fatten up as easily as Muggles do.
Especially
ones our age. Magic burns up a lot of energy, even if you're not
*doing*
any. 

This reminds me of the whole parapsychology theology.

Weaker wizards can get fat in a blink--" she cast a glance

down the
table at Neville Longbottom-- "and older wizards who sit around
doing
nothing all day go to seed, but you're not apt to see too many fat
wizards."

Hmmm.. doesn't sound real apt, according to the books. There were a
lot of chubby wizards.

"Wow, really?" Sakura asked, taking a bite of steak.

"Yup. That's why we eat like pigs," Fred said as he tore into a fat
ham
sandwich.

*g* It's still cute, though.

"We actually eat pigs, too. Have a sausage, Sakura?"

"Ah...I think I'll be fine with this," Sakura blushed, gesturing to
her
plate, which was the least full at the table.

"That's not nearly enough," Ginny said.

"It's more than enough for me," Sakura said. "I'm not really used
to this
kind of food."

Keroberos nodded. "She doesn't eat much even when she's pigging out
on
sweets."

"Another Japanese thing?" Ginny asked.

"Sorta," Sakura replied. "Some people eat a lot, some people
don't...most of
the time most people are fine on just a little bit."

Keroberos nodded. "You should see their idea of a box lunch."

^_^

"And you eat lots of rice and fish and stuff, right?" George asked.
"Raw,
even. Dunno if I'd want to try that."

"Not everyone eats sashimi," Sakura said. "It's popular, but some
people
just don't care for it." At the confused looks, she clarified,
"That's raw
fish."

"I thought that was sushi," Fred said.

"Sushi's other stuff besides fish," Sakura replied. "There's lots
of kinds
of sushi. It's mostly all raw or cold, but it's not all fish."

*nods* Common misperception.

A boy whose name Sakura didn't know piped up suddenly. "Don't you
all eat
weird things like octopus and stuff, too? And poison fish?"

Sakura grimaced. "Not all of us. I think people who eat puffer fish
are
really stupid. Octopus isn't too bad, it's just a matter of how you
eat it."

"Takoyaki!" Keroberos said with a grin.

^^;;

"Tacos are Mexican, aren't they?" Ginny blinked.

This is gonna get old if you make it a running gag, the
misunderstandings. I'd save them for really GOOD moments.

"He means grilled octopus," Sakura clarified. "Really popular in
Osaka." She
paused for a few bites, then continued, "There's lots of things
people eat
in Japan that are weird, stupid, or just plain gross. Like
fermented
soybean...yuck!"

"I guess it's not that different from here, then," George said.
"Our lot
come up with some pretty disgusting stuff too."

"Haggis," Fred shuddered.


"What's haggis?" Sakura asked.

You don't wanna know. I personally think hot dogs are in serious need
of questioning.

"Please, not while I'm eating," a girl sitting three seats down
groaned.

"I'll tell you later," Keroberos said.

"What IS that thing?" the boy who had asked about octopus wondered.

"Kero-chan? He's my guardian," Sakura replied.

"Guardian? How can that puny thing guard anyone?"

"Like this," Keroberos said, his voice suddenly a throaty growl as
he stood
by the table in his full, armoured lion form. "Any other
questions?"

"Err...no. No! Sorry, sorry!"

I think this would get a reaction from the entire Great Hall. DON'T
throw away Kero's transformation on a one-liner!!!

The lion suddenly vanished, replaced by the flying plushie, before
his
appearance caused too much commotion. "So when's dessert?"



* * * * * *



"So what do they plan to have you do here, Dudley?" Ron asked
shortly after
dessert had appeared.

The large boy smacked his lips and shrugged. "I dunno. That
Dumbledore
fellow said something about potions and magical creatures and
astrology. I
couldn't really follow what he was talking about."

Hermione nodded. "You'll most likely be in all the normal classes
that don't
require wandwork--or at least, not much of it. You couldn't exactly
do
Transfiguration or Charms or Defence Against the Dark Arts without
a wand,
but most of the courses that don't require a wand..."

"Good thing Snape's off doing--other stuff," Ron said. "There's no
telling
how he'd react to Dudley."

By turning HIM into the bouncing ferret.

Harry snorted. "By taking points off Gryffindor, what else?" He
shrugged.
"So, reckon we'll get a real Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher
this
year?"

Let's look at the odds - we're 4 for 4...

"Probably not," Ron said. "If we do, she'll only last a year
anyway, for one
reason or another."

Dudley gulped. "Last a year...? What--?"

The others eyed him. "Not like that," Harry said. "Well, not
always."

"Job's jinxed," Ron said, mouth full of treacle fudge. "Four years
ago, it
was Quirrel, possessed by You-Know-Who. Harry finished him off. The
year
after, it was Lockhart, who was a total fraud. Backfired a memory
charm on
himself with a broken wand and erased his own memory." He shook his
head.

"Next one we had was the best," Harry picked up. "Professor Lupin.
He was a
friend of my dad's from school. Great teacher, but he's a werewolf.
When
people found out, they wrote a lot of threatening letters, and he
resigned."

"A *WEREWOLF*?!" Dudley exclaimed.

Harry nodded. "Yeah. Then last year--" He paused.

"Last year we had a dark wizard disguised as the teacher we were
supposed to
have, and nobody knew until almost the end of the year," Hermione
summarised, carefully avoiding mentioning the tournament and the
events that
followed.

^^;;

"Wow," Dudley said. "So why would anyone *want* this job?"

Harry shrugged. "Someone's got to do it. Actually, Snape wants the
job, but
he never gets it."

I think Dumbledorre wants his spy alive, thank you.

"You know," Ron said suddenly, "maybe we should see about getting
Snape that
job next year! Then something'll happen to HIM, and--"

"Like I said, we're not that lucky," Harry interrupted.

This was my train of thoughts.

"Honestly," Hermione muttered, shaking her head.



* * * * * *



The remains of the feast disappeared from the plates, once again
leaving
everything spotless and sparkling. Dumbledore stood, gesturing with
his
wand. "And now, we shall sing the school song, for nothing is so
magical as
music." Words formed in the air. "Pick your favourite tune, and off
you
go..."

^_^;;

Sakura, for her part, just stared in confusion, disbelief, and
outright
horror as the spectacle of the Hogwarts School Song unfolded. A few
people,
such as the Weasley twins, seemed to truly enjoy it, while most
were just
mumbling through and trying to get it over with as quickly as
possible.

"Hoeee," Sakura uttered.

Why horror?

The twins finished last, warbling the final note as a duet while
hanging
about each others' shoulders. When they were done, DUmbledore
smiled
broadly. "And now, I bid you all goodnight. Prefects, if you will?"

Typo.

Hermione came by at that moment to collect Sakura and the only
other
first-year Gryffindor girl, Tabitha Stevens. "Come along, then,"
Hermione
told them, bustling up the stairs leading out of the hall. Nearby,
Harry led
the two first-year boys.

After many twists and turns, the group reached a dead-end, marked
by a large
portrait of an obese woman in a pink dress. "Password?" the
painting
inquired.

"Wisdom tooth," Hermione said. The Fat Lady smiled, and the
painting swung
away from the wall, revealing a hole leading to a well-furnished
room with a
merry hearth.

"Boys to the left, girls to the right," the prefects both
instructed. Before
she knew it, Sakura was standing with the other girl in the center
of a room
appointed with two large, draperied four-poster beds...and a pile
of scarlet
velvet pillows and thin blankets in one corner, apparently intended
for
Keroberos. "Ah, home sweet home!" the plush lion cried, floating
over and
disappearing in the soft pile.

Tabitha shook her head. "Strangest magical pet I've ever seen."
Sakura could
only giggle at that.

Pure blood, then.

Minutes later, the two girls and the guardian beast were all tucked
in.
Sakura's last thought before sleep claimed her was that while she
had no
idea precisely what she'd gotten herself into, it was almost
certainly going
to be a lot of fun.And she'd made some new friends on her first day
away
from home. That thought alone was enough to give the young girl a
night of
happy dreams.



* * * * * *



Six four-poster beds stood in the room at the top of the tower.
Three of the
occupants looked slightly put-out, and were shooting odd glances at
the
large boy who was apparently to be their dorm mate for a while.

Okay... Ron, Harry... and...?

"Over there, Dudley, that one's got your trunk by it. Best to turn
in now,
first day of classes is tomorrow."

"I should like to watch the telly before bed," Dudley complained.

"There's no telly here," Harry replied. "And before you ask, no
computer
either."

Dudley blinked. "Then what d'you do for fun?"

"Read, play chess or cards, that sort of thing," Harry replied.

Dudley sighed. "I reckon I'll need to ask Daddy to send me a
telly."

Dean snorted. "I can see that. An owl, carrying a telly."

Dean. Seamus is too nice??? I can see Neville, but Seamus?

"Even if you did, and he sent it, it wouldn't work here," Harry
said. "Stuff
like that doesn't work at Hogwarts. There's no electricity here,
and all the
magic floating around makes it so those things don't work right."

"Oh," Dudley replied, sounding disappointed. "Well...goodnight,
then."

"Goodnight," the others chorused.

*sleepy smile* Good job, though I think the reason you're
dissatisfied is this took the route of many fics - it's a rewrite of
Harry's first year, mix in Sakura...

A suggestion might be to take advantage of Kero and Dudley more -
they are the wildcards, and they can make the dinner DIFFERENT than
it's ever been before. Rather than a sedate one, liven it up.

You'll need to start taking advantage of the newer elements, or else
it's "Harry Potter with a guest character getting used to Harry's
World." Play with Sakura's magic a bit, and you have Dudley there, so
make sure we see why Muggles and Magic don't mix, until you integrate
him (as is obviously your intention).

~ Aishuu

=====
If I could change anything
Then I would change everything
These bitter days shall remain

Fanfiction: http://www.midnightrevolution.org/quicksilver
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