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Title: The Countdown to Matrimony (Ch. 2 of Part 2)
Anime: Ranma 1/2
Author: Denise Cameron aka Elena99
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Chapter 2: Okonomiyaki of (Platonic) Love

It was getting late. They had been searching for the better part of a
half hour now, and although Ranma could search for much longer, it was
becoming tiresome. Akane didn't seem to be faring much better,
herself; half jogging with her shoulders slumped, looking more
frustrated by the moment. No one had even seen P-chan, as far as Ranma
could tell, since the first five minutes of their search. Clearly they
had taken a wrong turn quite a while ago (or, as was more likely,
Ryoga had taken a wrong turn) and now they were completely off track.

"Hey! Akane!" called Ranma, now male, running up to the girl who
looked only half surprised to see him there. Partway through the
journey he had seen a cart that was selling tea and coffee, and on an
impulse had used hot water from it to change himself back into his
real form. After he had ducked down below the cart, at least. The
owner had been surprised to see a girl duck down, then a guy
straighten back up, but Ranma hadn't given him time to say anything.

Akane half turned towards him, letting him catch up to her. She looked
sad, and frustrated, but still composed as he sauntered over to face
her. Her expression showed that she was not at all surprised to see
that he had been around without her knowing. Again.

"I didn't see him either. He probably found someplace to hide;
searching for 'im now would take forever. Like I said, he doesn't
wanna be found," said Ranma. He knew Akane still didn't want to hear
that. It was obvious in her glassy, silver eyes that she disagreed,
but she gave in all the same, much to Ranma's relief. The way she
dropped Ranma sometimes to devote her attention to P-chan really irked
him.

"I just don't understand. P-chan never runs away from me. Why would
he...?" She stopped, letting the question ask itself.

"Who knows. But P-chan's not a defenseless housepet, anyway. He always
comes and goes. You should stop worrying over that stupid pig," said
Ranma. Akane tried to hit him, but her heart obviously wasn't in it as
he was able to easily dodge her fist.

_That's it, let it out on me...just don't run away from me again like
that, idiot._

"P-chan's not stupid."

"Fine, fine. He's not here either, though. C'mon."

Pushing Akane's shoulder, he began to walk forward, noticing Akane
sigh, then give in and walk along with him. It was still quite light
outside, and rather warm; definitely not a day to be running around
looking for a pig. Akane still had the package she had bought earlier
in her hand, as well. He was tempted to take it from her, since she
looked tired, but decided not to. After telling her to give up on P-
chan, insinuating that she couldn't carry her own bag would probably
only look patronizing to her, rather then nice.

"I just wish I knew why he ran off like that. He looked so sad. Did
you see his eyes, Ranma? I didn't know an animal could show that much
pain. It was...it was almost human," she said quietly. Luckily, Akane
was behind him and missed the nervous expression on Ranma's face.
_Almost human? Try actually human._ She was too distracted to notice
anything though, even if she had been looking at him. That was just as
bad, in a way; he didn't want Akane to be unhappy, or mopping about P-
chan. Not when he had just reclaimed her.

"Hey, are you hungry? Why don't we go eat somewhere? My treat," he
offered, as they kept walking forward. _What restaurants are around
here anyway? There's a takayaki place, a Chinese restaurant...an
okomomiyaki place, an American restaurant..._ He noticed Akane tilting
her head, as though considering.

"Isn't Ukyo's restaurant around here? I could go for some okonomiyaki.
Plus I've been meaning to ask her about that night, with Ryoga...I
want to find out why she was there." Ranma stopped in his tracks as he
heard her request, and looked down at his companion. Despite their
friendship, or maybe because of it, Ranma didn't want to see Ukyo
right then. She was one of the so called fiancees, that he had to turn
down. Despite how he had pushed Akane into starting, he didn't feel
ready to do any turning down himself. Not today. Not right now.

Studying Akane's face and her changing expression, he realized that
she was determined about this, and felt a flood of annoyance overcome
him. _Dammit...she's always so stubborn..._ Trying to look decided on
the matter, Ranma stood tall, looking down at her.

"No," he said, his voice firm.

"No?" asked Akane, an eyebrow raised, "Why not? You need to have a
talk with Ukyo anyway, don't you?"

"Yeah, but...I can't do it just like that, Akane. Me 'n Ukyo...we've
been friends for so long. It'll...it'll kill her," he said. And
probably me in the process. Silently he willed Akane to give in, but
he knew it wouldn't be that simple.

"I see," she said, sounding calm. Too calm. Feeling panic rising in
him, part of him told him to stop being an idiot over a girl, while
the other part, still wanting to salvage the day, fought to find a
solution. He needed to calm Akane, and get her to stop thinking about
it. What was the best way to do it? He couldn't just change the
subject, not now. Not easily.

"It's not like I love her or anything. But I was thinking, maybe I
should save Ukyo for last. Cause you know, she's-"

"The hardest? The only other fiancee that you've actually gotten to
know and were friends with? The only one who you'll actually miss if
she decides she can't handle being just friends with you, and decides
to cut off the friendship?" finished Akane, looking up at him now. Her
eyes were determined orbs of steel, and if he hadn't known better, he
would have thought she was about to cry.

"What do you-?"

_Uh-oh._ A sort of sixth sense, not a martial artist's sense but close,
kicked in and punched him in the face. Grimly, he realized that he was
not getting out of this. Akane was passionate, determined, and upset.
A small voice told him that it was his fault, but he pushed it away
irritably. Her face was so sad, right now. It just took his breath
away.

"Ranma...if you need more time, just say so. We don't have to get
married right away. We're still young, we're only eighteen. But I...I
told Ryoga, that I couldn't pursue anything with him. It hurt me
deeply, because that hurt Ryoga, and I consider him a friend. Telling
Kuno or Gosunkugi won't hurt me at all, but telling Ryoga was
different. In the end, I made a sacrifice; it may have been sped up by
a confession, but it was a sacrifice. If you want to be with me,
you'll have to tell Ukyo eventually. Chances are, she's already
expecting it anyway. Are you going to wait, keeping your conscious
clear while she waits for you to reject her? Or are you going to tell
her soon, and lessen the overall pain for both of you? It's...it's up
to you." Ranma blinked, looking at her silently. _Ugh, I hate it when
she corners me like this..._ He crossed his arms.

"I'm gonna tell her. Soon. And I can do it without you goading me,
too," he said flatly. He couldn't believe she had the gall to question
him. Seeing her firm face, though, he sighed, then rephrased his
thoughts. No, she certainly had the gall. She was Akane Tendo, after
all. Thick, and stubborn, and single minded, and...and...

_She knows how I feel about the situation. Right?_

"Then why don't you don't you be a man and prove it?" she challenged.

"Don't wanna."

"Are you scared?"

"Of course not!"

The two glared at each other, electricity passing between their eyes
as they held their positions firmly. Finally, Akane shifted her
weight, and narrowed her eyes.

"Well if you're not scared, what are you waiting for? For Ukyo to come
to you?" she asked.

"Hey, now wait a minute." This was a trap. He could see her laying it
out for him, right before his eyes. It was a trap, and she had already
started luring him into it. He had no way out. Realizing this, he
tensed up, as though bars had just been put around him.

"Idiot. You can't even do a simple thing like this?" asked Akane,
turning her back to him and crossing her arms. Ranma glared at her
back, then quickly stepped around her to face her again.

"Of course I can!"

"Then why are you still standing here?" she asked, more quietly.
_Stupid Akane...why do you always have to be like this..._ Despite 
his thoughts, her face and her obvious feelings were affecting him. As
much as he wanted to keep his pride, he didn't want to be the source
of her anger.

Ranma considered his options. Sure, he could run away and just ignore
her, but it was bad enough that Akane had run off from him once that
day already. He didn't want to end up being the selfish, ungrateful
person that he had already thought Akane to be. If he stayed, there
was no arguing with her now; she'd be hurt if he said no. The idiot
would take it as a direct challenge to how he felt about her, and
their relationship.

_So much for peace.._ There was only one way out of this now, that
wouldn't end with Akane hating him for a week. Only one way...even if
it did take his masculinity into question. He shoved that part of
himself deep down, though, trying to ignore it, and instead focused on
Akane's sad, determined face that looked up at him questioningly. He
had all but thrust her at Ryoga, pulled the strings to make her break
his heart. She was doing him a favour by at least being open about her
intentions; he had been much more sneaky, with his.

"Fine, fine. I suppose you're...well...let's just go to Ucchan's. It's
not far from here," he said, making sure he was walking in front of
her. He did not want to see the satisfied smile that was most likely
gracing her face right then.

Silently they turned, heading down the familiar street to their
destination. He realized he had absolutely no idea what he was going
to say to Ukyo, when he got there. _I'll just have to wing it...tell
her something...talk to her. Ukyo'll understand. Good old Ucchan._

The weight of responsibility was hurting his shoulders as he marched
on, making him feel like he was on his way to confess a crime. But
they kept on still, silently making their way to Ucchan's.

* * *

"Are you sure you didn't see anything, sugar? You checked everywhere?"
asked Ukyo, as Konatsu came back down the stairs. She had told him
about the odd sound at the door, followed by the suspicious noises
soon after. It had taken her all of a minute to realize what those
noises could be; a pig. Immediately she had started going through the
rooms in the lower level, expecting to see P-chan cowering in a corner
somewhere. When Konatsu found her searching, she explained quickly
that she thought Akane's pet P-chan had gotten into the restaurant.
Not wanting to go into detail about how the pig also happened to be
Ryoga, she had just asked him to help her search. Konatsu had been
overjoyed to help, but they had searched the whole place up and down.
No little black piglets with a yellow and black bandanna, as far as
they could see.

"I'm sure. Unless it's one heck of a fast pig; most animals can't hide
from me," he boasted. _Hmm, maybe we should take that it's Ryoga into
consideration...if he didn't want to be found, it's possible he could
remain hidden from us. But why? Why is he still hiding? And why in my
restaurant, if he won't just show himself?_ Konatsu gave Ukyo a curious
look, but the latter didn't say anything. Picking up a broom in the
corner of the room, Konatsu started sweeping the floor.

"It's possible he found a window, and got out. Or that it wasn't
Akane's pig at all," he suggested.

"Eh, that's true. Thought I'd try, though," Ukyo said, sitting back
down behind the bar. Picking up a nearby rag, she began cleaning off
the sides of the grill, distractedly picking off bits of food with one
of her spare spatulas. When there was another sound at the door a
minute later, she surprised herself by jumping over the grill and the
bar, waiting for the door to open completely.

This time there actually was a person, though. Two people, in fact.
Ranma and Akane stood there, looking at Ukyo with nervous expressions.
Well, Ranma's looked nervous, for a minute at least. Then he forced
his mouth to a smile. Akane looked uncomfortable, as though she feared
she was intruding. Ukyo wanted to tell her that she was, but bit her
tongue; if Ranma was welcome, Akane would have to be welcome too. The
three had been through too much together for Ukyo to start turning
inhospitable.

"Ranma-honey. Akane. Hi," she said dully, feeling her skin turn cold
and clammy, and her knees weaken at the sight of Ranma. His smile was
just so captivating, she didn't realize that her lips were still
parted slightly, and that she was staring. At his beautiful blue eyes,
his boyish, flawless face, his gorgeous ebony hair, his stylish
clothing, his...

"Hey, Ucchan. Can we get some food? I'm starved. I'll
have...uhh...beef okonomiyaki. Akane, what do ya want?" he asked, as
he sat down at the bar. Ukyo shook herself out of her stupor of
admiration, and walked back around to the other side quickly, starting
to get the ingredients out.

"No problem, Ranma-honey," she said pleasantly, trying to calm her
racing heart. She looked over at Akane, waiting for her order, but the
girl had an expression of such pity on her face that Ukyo looked away.
_I do NOT want your pity, Akane Tendo. Just...just no._ Her smile was
more forced now, and so was Ranma's. She could hear Konatsu still
sweeping on one side of the room.

"I'll have the same," said Akane, sitting down beside Ranma.

"Sure thing. So uhh...nice day, isn't it? I'm surprised I haven't been
getting more customers, but maybe okonomiyaki isn't so good to eat
when it's hot," she said casually.

"Nah, your food's always good," said Ranma, followed by a quick 'ow,
hey!' as Akane elbowed him in the ribs. They stared at each other a
moment, looking as though they were going to get into one of their
arguments, but then they quickly looked away. For some reason, Akane
was suddenly interested in what Konatsu was doing, and followed his
movements. Ranma began playing with the seat beside him, making it
spin, and looking like he was trying to think of things to say. His
compliment, which had cheered her, was ruined by that reaction. As
though it hadn't really been sincere, but just something to say.

"Oh, Ukyo. I was wondering about something," asked Akane, turning back
to Ukyo just as she was slapping the dough onto the grill. Ukyo didn't
look up, instead she concentrated on getting the sauce, ingredients
and spices on correctly. She did not particularly want to look at
Ranma's chosen fiancee right now.

"What's that?" she asked, casually. _Still with the casual...no,
nothing's happened. Has anything happened, really? We're all just
getting our reality, here. All getting...much needed doses of reality.
Ugh. Ranma hasn't even started talking to me about it yet, and I'm
already feeling like I want to throw composure out the window. And
reality along, with it._

"About that night...with Ryoga. Did you eventually catch up with him?"
she asked. Ukyo flipped the okonomiyaki with spectacular skill, then
added more spice, getting plates ready to put them on. The question
registered in her mind as a relatively easy one, and she shook her
head.

"Nope. He's quite the runner, that boy. I lost him within five
minutes. Or should I say, he lost me. Without his pack and umbrella,
he's much faster then I had imagined."

"You still have his stuff?" asked Ranma. His voice sent her heart into
flutters, but she controlled it, angry with herself at being so
girlish. _Must be the nervousness...I'm not normally this bad._

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Isn't it odd? Hasn't been back for it yet, and I think
it's been a week now. Something like that anyway, right?" she replied.
The okonomiyaki now done, she flipped it onto the plates, and watched
with tainted pleasure as Ranma immediately shoved a quarter of it into
his mouth. Akane took the time to cut hers and take a smaller bite,
but she still seemed to enjoy it just as much.

"Interesting how you happened to be in the restaurant, that night,"
said Akane. Ranma looked at her out of the corner of his eye, then
went back to the food quietly. Ukyo had the oddest feeling that his
silence just then was a very wise choice.

"Oh, that? I found Ryoga earlier in the day, wandering the streets. He
told me about the meeting and knowing how he gets lost, I figured I'd
just walk him there. I didn't think he'd run out like that, though,"
replied Ukyo, sitting back down on a stool behind the bar. She had
been annoyed at the accusatory tone in Akane's voice, but now the blue
haired girl looked sad at the mention of that night. _Yeah...that had
to be hard on both of them. Where did you go, Ryoga?_

Ranma finished his food in a few more bites, then gazed at his plate,
looking lost. Konatsu had left the room now, obviously sensing the
mood that had just fallen. Akane finished her meal quietly, then fixed
her unruffled skirt. Quickly, Ukyo grabbed the plates, pulling them
back over to her side of the bar. Foreboding and dread were weights
that would break her shoulders, they were so heavy and depressing.

"Seconds?" she heard her own voice squeak. Despite the fact that Ukyo
had asked the question, Ranma looked over at Akane, who tilted her
head.

"Maybe I should wait outside," said Akane, suddenly.

"No. No, wait...and no, Ukyo, there's no sense in putting this off
anymore."

"In...in putting it off?" asked Ukyo. _Oh god, he's going to say it
right here. In front of Akane. Right in my restaurant. He's going to
break my heart right here and now._ Forcibly, Ukyo put her hands on the
table and looked at Ranma.

"Can we talk upstairs, for a minute?" he asked. Ukyo nodded, slowly
walking around the bar. As she passed by Akane, she noticed that the
girl was determined not to look at her. Suddenly deciding that she
most certainly didn't want to be pitied, Ukyo put her chin up, and
started for the stairway.

"Sure, Ranma-honey. Come on up. We won't be long Akane, just sit
tight. And can you tell Konatsu if any customers come in?" asked Ukyo,
hand on the rail.

"Don't worry, Ukyo," replied Akane. She didn't know if the girl was
answering her question, or preparing her for the conversation with
Ranma. Nodding, Ukyo let go of the rail, and started walking upstairs.
Ranma wasn't far behind her.

It was one of the longest climbs up those stairs that she had ever
had. With each step, she was both happy that Ranma was following her
upstairs, and unhappy that he was, knowing the reason for it. When
they finally reached the top, she opened the door to her bedroom,
turning on the light. Her eyes missed the odd shadow that snuck under
a low table in a corner when she they entered, and Ukyo planted
herself down on the floor unhappily. Ranma walked in slowly, appearing
to be unsure about whether or not to close the door. Finally, he sat
himself down in front of her, and fixed her an even gaze. Ukyo could
not help but be melted by those dark, full, blue eyes. She restrained
herself though, sitting up straight and looking calmly ahead. After
clearing his throat, Ranma began.

"Ucchan...we've been friends a long time. You're my oldest friend, ya
know? I've known you longer then anyone, aside from my Pop."

"You're my oldest friend too, Ranma," she said, her voice sounding
oddly throaty. _No, no, no, Ukyo. Don't you dare make this hard on him.
It's hard enough as it is_, she scolded herself. Ranma just nodded,
looking down at his hands. He appeared to be making a tent shape with
his fingers. Slowly Ukyo tried to control her emotions, sort them,
categorize them, but the fear and sadness from rejection was coming on
too fast. Soon it would overtake her, and she had to be ready for
that. She had to be prepared.

_Oh god, I'm so not ready..._

"I don't wanna lose your friendship. But, if you wanna be friends with
me...you have to understand. What I feel for you...it's friendship.
Just that. I'd trust you with my life, but I'm not-"

"In love with me?" Ukyo asked, cutting him off. She hated the hopeful
sound that had spiced her voice, in that question. Yet the hope was in
her still; a fallen blossom, tainted by the darker feelings around it.
It was in her, no matter how hard she tried to push it away, to deny
it. There was no hope for a relationship with Ranma, not now. Not
anymore.

"Yeah. I know it's hard for you to accept."

"Well yeah, it is, you know? And you come in here, with the uncute
fiance, expecting this to be easy? Well it's not easy. Not at all!"
said Ukyo. Getting her spatula from her back, she whacked him with it
hard before realizing what she was doing.

"Ow! Hey! What was that for?" asked Ranma, rubbing his shoulder where
she had hit. Striking at him had felt oddly good, for about one tenth
of a second. But now that it was over, guilt washed over her and the
bad feelings came back to surface.

"Payback," sniffed Ukyo, tears coming into her eyes. Ranma sighed,
then looked at her awkwardly.

"What, you think I'm telling you this to hurt you? You know better
then that. Stop acting like a stupid girl and...."

*WHAP!*

"Arg...," he said, as Ukyo put away the spatula. This time she didn't
feel so much guilt. He had been asking for that one, insulting her
like that.

"Are you even listening to me?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"I'm trying, but it's not exactly easy," she said, her voice harsh.

"I never said it would be easy," he countered.

"I know, but Ranma-honey...you were my first love. You broke my heart
when you went away, and then when I found you again...you put my heart
back together. You made me whole again," she said, not sure of what
she was trying to say. Words were flowing from her mouth unbidden, and
she tried to catch them again, not wanting them to escape and make her
look like a fool. But she already feared it was too late for that.

"Listen to yourself, Ukyo. You don't need me to be whole, you can move
on. You're smart, talented, a great cook. And you're cute, too. I'm
sure you'll find a great boyfriend, someday," he said. Then had the
audacity to smile. It made her smile slightly too, mostly because he
had called her cute again. A tear fell down her cheek, landing on her
pants in a small, wet drop.

"Really?" she asked miserably.

"Really."

"What if I want you, though? What if I think I deserve you?"

"Then we have a problem. I'm not saying you don't deserve someone like
me. You probably deserve someone better then me, even. Just ask Akane
if you need a list of my bad points, I bet she has it written down
somewhere," said Ranma, rolling his eyes.

"She probably has an even longer list of your good points...that girl
is crazy for you," said Ukyo sadly. It hurt like a pin thrusting into
her heart when she saw Ranma's face light up at the last part of her
sentence. It was true too, she couldn't deny it; Ranma and Akane loved
each other more then anything. How many times had they risked their
lives for each other? Denying their feelings most of the time, to
boot. Their love was so...raw. And real. Another tear fell down Ukyo's
cheek, and Ranma's face darkened.

"This isn't about Akane. This is about you, and me. Can we still be
friends? If I invite you to my wedding, will you come, and not cause
mass destruction?" asked Ranma. Ukyo felt as though she would fall
over, but maintained her straight posture.

"You brought it back to you and Akane at the end there, with the
wedding part," she said flatly. The blossom of hope was gone now,
completely. All that was in her was darkness, as she tried to push her
more fragile emotions aside.

"Just answer the question. Please," he added the last word quickly
when Ukyo's hand twitched towards the spatula. She didn't want to
explode, and be weak here. But it was just so hard to contain.
Shuddering, Ukyo nodded, trying to look at Ranma.

"Yes. I can...be at your wedding. And not cause mass destruction."
When Ranma smiled, she felt another pin being thrust in her heart, but
tried to ignore it. She could get used to it. She had to, for Ranma.
If she truly loved him...she could be happy for him.

"And I know this goes without saying, but...you won't hold any of this
against Akane, right?" he asked. _Ugh. Yes Ranma, everything can fit
your perfect little world...he's right though. It's not like she even
asked to be his fiancee...and to fall in love with him. Of all the
luck!_

"I won't hold any of this against Akane."

"Great. Ucchan...I'm glad we had this talk. I knew I could count on
you, I just...didn't wanna hurt you."

"I know. Umm, Ranma-honey?" she asked, watching him get up. She didn't
want the next few words to come out of her mouth. She didn't want to
have to say them, but she knew it was necessary. For her own sanity,
at the very least.

Biting her lip, she watched as Ranma looked at her questioningly,
waiting for her to speak. Slowly, she sorted the words in her mind,
heard them taunting her already before they were even said.

"I'll need you to give me some space, now. I know I'll still see you
in school, and that's fine. But...but I need some time to myself. To
make sure I really AM whole without you, you know? So...don't come by
here, until I let you know it's okay again," she asked, barely hearing
her own voice say the words. They were out now, and she felt so empty
without them. Her throat ached from the strain of saying them, and she
felt her skin go cold.

"Ya sure?" asked Ranma. She fought the urge to leap forward and hug
him with all her might.

"I'm sure. When you go downstairs...tell Konatsu to make sure he stays
down there, to watch for customers. I think I'm going to sleep."

"Okay. And, Ucchan? Anytime you need to talk...you can visit. Or call
me out even. I won't go to you before ya let me know you're ready
though. I promise."

"I know," she replied, knowing in her heart that she really couldn't
visit, or call him out. Not yet, not for a long, long time. With a
small wave, he left the room, closing the door behind him. Another
tear fell down her cheek, but it wasn't the storm she had expected.
Instead, she felt completely empty inside. Like she had no more tears
to cry, no more emotions to feel, no more thoughts to think. Curling
her knees up to her chest, Ukyo listened bitterly as Ranma jogged down
the stairs, then heard the front door downstairs close a minute later.
When she didn't hear Konatsu come up afterwards, she let out a sigh,
and shuddered.

An odd sound came from one side of the room, and she turned around,
hand to one of her small spatulas as though expecting an attack. But
then she recognized the sound; it was a high pitched squeal, like a
pig, followed by the sound of tiny hooves. Seconds later, a pink and
black nose poked it's way out from under the table, followed by a
small black body. The pig wore Ryoga's yellow and black scarf.

"Heh. Ryoga. Figures you'd be here after all." P-chan tilted his head,
his eyes large and sad. _He probably feels sorry for me...the poor
thing...is this how he felt after, too?_ She watched him curiously, not
annoyed at the invasion of her privacy. But that was because Ryoga was
a pig right now. He wasn't human, and wasn't invading. Not really,
anyway. Pigs didn't invade; animals in general didn't invade, they
just were. As of yet, she hadn't been close enough to any of those
with the Jusenkyo curse that turned them into animals to see it
otherwise.

"Squeeeee?" The noise was quiet, and P-chan looked frustrated that his
pig mouth couldn't say human words. Ukyo just shook her head and faced
him, patting a spot on her lap.

"It's okay, c'mere." Appearing uncertain, P-chan walked tentatively
closer, then jumped on her lap like a small, black kitten.
Tentatively, she scratched him behind his ears, surprised that he
didn't seem to mind.

_This isn't Ryoga...this is P-chan...he's a pig...it's different..._

She let the excuses go, flimsy as they were. P-chan didn't seem to
mind her attention. Much, at least, and the emptiness had been
starting to ache so much. She didn't want to be empty, not again. Not
now, when she could at least just pretend. P-chan was very convenient,
and, selfishly, she wasn't going to let him go just yet.

"We could each use a friend now, I think. Don't take this the wrong
way though, okay? I'm not into pigs," Ukyo said, her voice still oddly
low. P-chan squealed again, looking indignant, and shook his head.
This made Ukyo almost smirk, but no amusement touched her eyes. Somber
thoughts came back into her head, about Ranma, but they were duller
now at least. The sharpest pain had already happened.

"Sorry, sorry. I was hoping you'd come back though, I have your stuff.
You probably saw your pack in the corner right?" she asked, trying to
focus on the pig's true identity now. P-chan shook his head in
affirmation.

"Good. Your umbrella is in the kitchen. I didn't want to carry the
thing all the way upstairs," she said, still scratching behind his
ears as he curled up on her lap. _As much as he's unlike Ryoga...this
is just like Ryoga. Just a big softie, under that tough exterior. Am I
like that too? Just a softie?_

"You know...it didn't feel the way I thought it would. Oh, it hurt.
Hurt like a katana through the stomach, but...I think I thought I
would cry. Or that it'd feel different. But it doesn't, does it? It
still feels like...like I have a chance. Even though hope is gone, and
I feel so, so empty." She let out a low moan, and felt a sob fight to
escape her careful composure.

"Ranma-honey and Akane...they need to have this wedding soon, and
start wearing wedding rings and calling each other honey and dear, and
looking more like a...like a couple..."

_Oh dammit, I'm losing it..._

Tears started to fall down her cheeks more quickly now, as P-chan
looked up at her. Tears fell down his little pig face too, and she
shook her head, as though trying to deny the tears. They felt good
though, like a release. She laughed dryly, then sighed.

"It'll get easier. And Ranma's right. I'm talented, and smart, and
cute, and one hell of a cook. I'll find someone else. Definitely find
someone else. They'd just better take good care of each other, right
Ryoga? We're giving them this chance. If they're ever bad to each
other, or hurt each other...," she began, but didn't finish. The tears
continued to flow, but slowed down after a while, leaving them to sit
in silence. Before she knew it, P-chan had fallen asleep on her lap.
Careful not to wake him, Ukyo scooted back far enough to have her back
against the wall. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to fall
asleep, which happened surprisingly fast given the circumstances. Or
perhaps she was just anxious to get out of reality, again.



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