Salvador Escriv� <voroeg@yahoo.es> writes:
Crystal wings Part 1
The beginning.
This is a Ranma 1/2 alternaverse. None of the Ranma gang are mine they r
copyright of their author Rumiko Takahashi. The other characters r mine from
a game a few friends invented.
It gets a while to get started but I wanted to lay the scene before the story.
I know I am not a good writer but I hope you like it. Do not take this and
drive heavy machinery. Do not try any actions hazardous to yourself without
external advice.
Thanks to: No one yet.
Place: Nerima, Japan.
Time: 16 hours after ARW (Akane and Ranma Wedding)
It was a beautiful morning in Nerima. It was just before dawn and the sun was
timidly stretching its fingers. It was the start of a nice day and many people
were getting ready to enjoy it. There were some few exceptions like the
Nekohanten.
Type-error... probably 'There were some few exceptions, as at the
Nekohanten' (exceptions applies to people, but the Nekohanten is a
place).
<Moose you idiot. Go Away. If you can not help at least do not get in the
way.>
Mousse, not Moose. (One is an obsessive hair product that is a danger
to all those around him, one is a solitary large animal that can be a
danger to those around him)
Shampoo was feeling murderous. Her Airen would never go with that sexless
crazy tomboy. What had their parents done? Maybe threaten with the water of
spring of drowned man?
Is threaten the right word here? Ranma would normally be welcoming it;
perhaps 'Maybe bribe with a barrel of ...'
And all the other girls. They were not anything of
anything to
Ranma. She, Shampoo was the only wife.
She, Shampoo,
All others must give up or be
eliminated. But after what she had done in the wedding would Ranma forgive
her.? Yes, he would know it had been done to preserve their love.
her?
<Ha ha ha ha.> Moose had jumped 6 meters away from her after she uttered such
a Kodachi like laugh. <He will be mine no matter the cost.>
<Glad to know it Shampoo> Said cologne on top of her staff <For we have passed
Glad to know it, Shampoo,> Cologne said ... staff. <For
(assuming that the <> delimiters work like quotation marks for
purposes of ending punctuation. Note the capitalization, also; Cologne
is a proper name and should be capitalized, while said continues the
sentence so should not. I thought it sounded more natural to reverse
the order of said and Cologne)
a critical point. You must choose great great granddaughter. We must either
choose, great-great-granddaughter
go back to china in shame. Or take extreme measures to break the bond between
Ranma and Akane. Come Shampoo. We must look into parts and methods I would
parts makes it sound like Cologne is a mecha mechanic or
something. sugg: 'look into methods I would'
rather not use. But in the circumstances a broken son in law is better than
nothing.>
For some reason, I really like that bit: "A broken son-in-law is
better than nothing."
Moose came after them ignored as always. -I am not letting Shampoo out of my
sight. If I foil the ghouls plans then I have a chance at Shampoos heart.-
ghoul's
They all entered the attic. Cologne hopped towards the back, where she kept
her most vile and evil contraptions. She stopped in front of a black chest.
It had three locks on the front each with a representation of an animal.
Tiger, dragon and bear. Cologne began to chant <Bear to heal and purify.
Tiger to have the strength to try. Dragon the defender of the weak.
Snake will show the secrets you seek.> With this final verse she drew a snake
with a fingernail in the wood. The patter glowed in bright green for a moment.
pattern
BARKER: Come one, come all, to the Jokezetsu Carnival. SEE the Amazing
Shampoo leap through rings of fire. WITNESS the stupendous bearded
woman destroy boulders with a touch. And MARVEL at the MASTER of DARK
MAGIC... MOUSSE the MAGNIFICENT!
When the glow had faded all three locks opened at once. <Look Shampoo this
where I keep some of our tribes most powerful relics.>
-It looks like Ranma will be mine at last- thought Shampoo.
<Great great grandmother what will we use?>
<A powerful artifact. The eye of Shandala. This gem has a terrible power. It
A powerful artifact: The Eye of Shandala. (It's still a fragment, but
that's better than being two unconnected fragments. Also, a title
should be capitalized (otoh, the capitalization is iffy if it's a
literal eye)).
erases the memories of the humans but asks for a great price, a price in
of humans ('the' would only be used if you're regarding a definite
group)
blood. Many before have tried to use it and fell to feed the hungry gem
without achieving their goal. Do you wish to take the chance?>
<I will revered elder. Anything to get Ranma.>
I will, revered elder.
<Then it shall be. Seal everything and meet me down stairs. Moose come with
me. You have to clean the dishes before the customers come.> Cologne hopped
down the stairs with the box of the gem and a grim expression in her face.
-Maybe it is time we gave up. What we are about to do is very dangerous. But
it is Shampoos right to pursue her Airen, for as long as she likes.-
Shampoo's
Shampoo was alone. She had been told to seal the chest but it was too great a
chest, but
temptation to look inside and see what other amazon treasures did Cologne hold
Amazon. (And, actually, I think it should be Amazonian, but I'm
blurring on that).
there. - A quick peek will not hurt anyone. She was the heir of Cologne and
'Cologne's heir' sounds better.
she should know what items did they have.- Shampoo was not a total idiot, but
she did not enjoy Colognes training and she did not notice she was being
Not sure what you mean here.
(a) she did not have the benefit of Cologne's training
(b) she did not enjoy her training under Cologne, so did not pay
proper attention
I suspect (a), in which case it should be rephrased.
influenced by an external force.
Sure this box looks promising- She picked up an iron box on the left of the
chest. It was very heavy!! - I wonder what is inside- She opened it and
noticed that the box was leaded on the inside. -That is why it was so heavy-
Then her eyes came to rest upon another box. A jade box with carvings of
monsters and mythological creatures. - This keeps getting better and better.-
The box was locked but firm pull took care of the problem. She opened it and
found the box was full of silver mirrors. And in the middle was a knife. A
wicked looking sacrificial knife. - This has to be powerful. Something that
looks that bad has to be a weapon for destroying demons.- Shampoo took the
knife and her eyes glazed. Her will had been slowly and subtly been drained
slowly and subtly drained
It didn't seem that slow to me.
by the evil weapon and now the takeover was complete. Like an automaton she
started walking. Her breathing became faster as she tried to break the spell.
But it was like fighting air. Lacking formal training in magic she did not
know how to retaliate and was powerless to stop the knife.
*************************************
Cologne was downstairs pondering their new problem. How could they use the gem
without being blamed?. And after that how could they position themselves so
problems: how they could use the gem without being blamed, and after
that, how they could position themselves so
that the Nerima wrecking crew would come to them for help. If it came to
You know, I don't actually know where the phrase 'Nerima wrecking
crew' came from (I'd love to hear an explanation, though); but it
doesn't sound like something Cologne would say.
extremes she knew that Akane would prefer to give up Ranma than to see him as
a vegetable all his life. It was a grim prospect, but they were running out of
options, and if Shampoo decided to press the issue, she had to do her job, no
matter how much she did not like it. Did that blasted girl realize how much
damage she could cause if she kept being so stubborn? And why is she taking
so long to come down?
The instant that she finished that thought Shampoos body entered the restaurant.
All hell broke loose. The restaurant was designed using Feng Shui to channel
positive energy and drive away evil. Behind the mirrors there were wards against
evil spirits. There was even a small blessed cross in a cupboard a gift from
cupboard, a gift from
(or, the gift of)
a Christian priest. All exploded. It was a horrible show. Glass shattered and
flew everywhere as the wards tried to absorb the evil energy flowing from the
knife. Dark fire butterflies flew from the knife towards the wards. As the
knife grew dimmer more and more wards burned up until they were all gone. The
knife had won but it was a costly victory. At the start of the conflict it had
shone like a dark bonfire and now it was only glowing.
Shampoo regained consciousness at that moment and dropped the knife like a
poisoned snake.
Well, of course a poisoned snake would drop it, it has no hands!
(but seriously, even though there's a grammar problem with that, I
don't know that it's worth changing. It's a common way to say
something, and the alternatives sound fairly awkward).
She felt violated in a way she did not fully understand. That
thing had taken over her mind and body completely and had done as it pleased.
She ran to cologne and hugged her like a little child. Like all those times
Cologne
she had been afraid of thunder. Cologne made some soothing noises to the girl.
- She was almost in a nervous breakdown. We can not have that. She must know
what happened to her and work hard so it never happens again.-
<Wha... what is that grandmother?>
<It is Whasa-by�s fall. A terrible artifact that our peopled are cursed to
Having 'Wha' and 'Whasa' as close together as that might be something
better avoided.
guard. It is a relic from the creation of Jusendo.>
**************************************************************************
Somewhere far, far away in China evil awakened. It had been sleeping for many
years, but for this creature it was a small nap. It had awaken before time,
awoken
to a sound only it could hear. This dark sirens call, elusive and seductive
would not go away. It was familiar almost a part of him but it could not place
it. Suddenly comprehension came. -The knife. My knife. Some of the disgusting
creatures that inhabit this land must have stolen it. They will pay. I will
drink their life slowly and exquisitely.-
The creature broke the crystal cocoon in which it had been sleeping and it
came out of the cave in all its evil glory. Beautiful and deadly. It was 2
glory, beautiful yet deadly.
meters tall at the head the wings gave it another meter more. Its hair and
wings were white, not pure white but crystal white, so when the light shone
on them they were like small rainbows. It was well proportioned and muscled.
Not the big mass of a weight lifter but the complexion of a long distance
swimmer or a climber.
physique or build rather than complexion, I think
Nabiki: Oh, your skin is so sleek and unblemished. You simply must
tell me your beautician.
It was too perfect, the kind of perfection that the eye
does not notice, but the subconscious screams at.
SUBCONSCIOUS: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Honestly, I don't know what that's supposed to connote. Is it
screaming because the perfection hurts, or is it screaming like a
raving fanboy given a sneak peek at the conclusion to Hearts of Ice?
- First to test if this
body is ready.- It took a piece of crystal and made a deep cut in its hand.
-Perfect sense of touch is working but all the painful sensations and
complications are gone. No need eat or breathe anymore. No more impositions
from this weak body.- As it pondered it extended its wings and took of to
answer the summoning.
No need to eat or breathe anymore
took off
And I don't think 'pondering' is the right word. Perhaps 'While
contemplating its new body, it extended its wings and prepared to take
to the air to answer the summons.
***********************************************************************
It reached its destination very quickly. Although it had not even a fraction
of its old powers it was still very fast. Most of its powers were gone thanks
to the enemy. It would eat the life and magic of this world and replace its
lost power. But something was bothering it. Since it had crossed to this
dimension it had noticed that its power had changed. It was worried. But it
would manage with what it had. Unless this place was inhabited with super
warriors it could take on anything sort of one of the deities it had seen
coming here.
The sentences here are a little too simple, and should perhaps be
linked together. (e.g., 'it was still very fast. Until it managed to
eat the life and magic of this world, its powers would remain
diminished. But more worrying than the reduced scale of its powers was
the change; something was very different in its powers, but it
couldn't identify exactly what.' (I'm adding something there, since I
think the paragraph is lacking a little introspective punch. What is
the change exactly, and why isn't it worried about it?))
It was flying over a big city. - Great when I get back my curse knife I will
Why would it call the knife 'a curse knife'?
have a great feast with the life force of all this vermin. It is close, very
close.- It came down to a street. But it did not notice a young man in
traditional Japanese clothes with a boken in its hands.
bokken
(argh. I know I read something recently about Japanese tending to use
a term that's not 'bokken, but I can't remember it today).
"O sure the heavens smile on me today." Said kuno. " They have sent a divine
and faithful companion to help me in my quest against the foul sorcerer
Saotome"
today," said Kuno
and I'd suggesting not using the name unti he introduces himself to
the being, since the perspective has been focused on the being so far.
-He talks in a strange language but I can understand him! I must investigate
this more deeply.-
"Who are you? Speak."
"You, o angel, stand before Kuno tatewaky. The Blue thunder of Furinkan high.
Tatewaki is how I usually see it. Also, 'Blue Thunder' and 'Furinkan
High', since both are titles.
Most honorable samurai and defender of the weak. I assume you are a herald of
heavens come to help me in my most holly crusade. As you know I must free my
holy
SOUN: You know, Genma, there's something missing for our Christmas
celebration this year. We don't have our customary table centerpiece
for the table
GENMA: Yes, Soun, but we can find one. And with the perfect
decorations, I'm sure Ranma will be inspired to declare his love to
Akane.
SOUN: Yes! Time for...
SOUN and GENMA: Operation Holly Crusade!
loves from the vile sorcerer, Ranma Saotome."
The anti-Saotome bit seems a bit redundant with his intro
paragraph. I'd suggest using it only once.
-I have lots of luck- thought the creature.
For a being of perfect evil, this just seems a little undignified :-)
-I have come across the local
champion and have the name of the local mage- "You could say that I have come
to help you see the heavens in all its glory."
the heavens ... their glory
or
Heaven in all of its glory
(note the singular/plural distinction)
Kuno was daydreaming about how he would tell his loved ones that the heavens
had decreeted that they would be united. Because of that he did not notice the
decreed
Angel throwing a glowing punch at him. He crashed through a wall and stopped
moving. Kuno had to thank his goddess that he was still alive, They had hit
him so often that his endurance was superhuman.
goddesses that he was still alive; they had hit
or
goddess that he was still alive; she had hit
-That was too easy. I will get my knife back. Then I will find the wizard and
see if he is any trouble.-
************************************************************************
The Nekohanten was closed. And inside sat a depressed Shampoo. She was going
over the events after her mistake. Cologne had told her she could not seal the
artifact alone. She had called the other matriarchs and they were going to
send their best. But an hour later they council had called, telling her to
abandon everything and come back immediately. They had been very secretive to
what the crisis was. But she could not leave before she took certain measures.
The floor now had a sealing wards carved on to the wood And lots of smaller
wood, and lots of smaller
(Actually, the first part has 'floor' as the subject and wards as the
direct object, while the second has wards as the subject and walls as
the direct object. I'd change one or the other so that they're
consistent with each other).
ones had been placed on the walls and ceiling. She was going to leave Shampoo
and Moose in Japan. If the problem was so bad they would had told her. She was
would have
the heir to her place in the council!. So she had left an hour after the
Cologne's her own heir? (Nepotism taken to the extreme!)
incident telling Shampoo not to come near the knife and to make sure Moose
does not do it either. And in case anything went wrong go to the Tendo dojo
and alert Ranma and Haposai. Shampoo was depressed. Why? Why leave her behind
Happosai
like a cripple or a man. And alerting Ranma was reasonable but Haposai?! That
old pervert was nothing but trouble.
She was still fuming how unfair it was when the wall exploded. Her warrior
instincts served her well. She rolled with the blast and was not hurt.
Unfortunately she was now next to the floor wards and had to face whatever
came from the hole in the wall. It was a tall man. And he was white. White
skin, white clothes, white eyes, white hair and white wings?!
"Hellooooo is anybody home?"
"What you want? We closed. Go away or else." Shampoo said as she readied her
bombori.
bonbori
although integrating bombs with them might work...
Skuld IS Shampoo IN '
"Fun before business, great. I choose else"
Shampoo was really pissed of and was going to take it out on this estranger.
pissed off... stranger
She went all out with a frontal strike that hit the man and sent him flying
away into a wall. The wall caved in but the man was not even dazed. He got up
rapidly and launched his own attack. It was a very simple combination so
Shampoo decided to block and counterattack. It was a bad mistake. The mans
fist broke the bombori like it was made of paper and graced her on the
grazed
shoulder. Shampoo went flying and crashed inside the kitchen. She was hurt
and the shoulder was probably dislocated.
Moose hearing the noise downstairs had come down. He saw the man hit Shampoo.
Moose was furious but took the time to look at the strangers fighting stile.
style
He fought like a gorilla but was incredible strong. He had overpowered Shampoos
Shampoo's
defenses like nothing. The old mummy had told them to go to Ranma if something
happened. So decisions made Moose let loose a barrage of hidden weapons and
entered the kitchen. The man was not hurt, just annoyed at the interruption.
He just started punching everything that came close. He had a murderous look
in his eyes.
"Shampoo were are you?" He saw her still dazed inside the fridge room. She had
Shampoo, where are
broken the door on impact and was getting up on her feet.
"Shampoo lets go to the Tendo dojo."
Shampoo, let's
"No I will kill him."
No, I
Seeing that she would not be reasonable Moose grabbed a water bottle and
poured it on her. A very angry cat-shampoo was now on the floor. Moose picked
Shampoo. (And I don't know; cat-Shampoo looks weirder than
neko-Shampoo to me for some reason, although in general it's best to avoid
Japanese).
her up and put her inside his robes. He carried a cat cage for emergencies
like this. Now that his love was secured he looked for a way out. He looked
into the restaurant and saw the man. The estranger was not paying them
stranger
attention. He was circling the floor wards. Every time he tried to cross them
light would appear and he stepped back. - So he is some kind of oni. And it
wants the knife. Let him have it. I will save Shampoo. - With this he came out
the back window and set of to the Tendo residence.
set off
************************************************************************
The creature was still trying to get to the knife without getting hurt by the
wards. When Moose left. -Go run little creatures. I will get you latter. -
wards when Mousse left.
-This is quite a problem. Whomever put the wards was good. I can not cross
Whoever (this is the nominative case, as it's in the top-level subject)
them or harm them directly or indirectly. What can I do?-
Wait, if the knife was able to do so much damage, why wouldn't the guy
be able to do more?
*************************************************************************
In the Tendo dojo it was a typical morning. Genma and Soun were playing, but
Genma was in panda form with a plate of bamboo shots he was munching. Ranma
shoots
was watching TV, while Akane was talking on the phone with a friend from school.
Nabiki was upstairs in her room checking the Wallstreet results and comparing
Wall Street;. I'd almost expect a more specific stock exchange (e.g.,
NASDAQ,NYSE) to be mentioned with 'the ... results'.
them with Tokyo. Kasumi was in the kitchen preparing lunch for everyone. It
looked like the start of a beautiful and quiet day. But alas it was not to be.
There is a Chinese curse that goes 'May you live interesting times'. And it was
perfectly represented with Ranma Saotome.
Moose jumped over the wall and entered the Tendo residence through the kitchen
window. Kasumi was just going out with a tray of refreshments. "Excuse me" he
said as he tapped Kasumi on the shoulder. "Oh my" she was startled and let go
of the tray. "It is you Moose. How unkind of me, I did not welcome you to the
house."
This Kasumi is a little too contrite for me (in the series, she's
blithe, not bubble-headed)
Ranma was not so kind. "Who the f*** has gotten me all wet." As Ranma-chan came
I've never really seen the point of blotting out vulgarities. If
everybody knows what's going to be put there, and there's no ambiguity
why not just say it? It removes a barrier that would knock someone out
of te story.
into the kitchen for some hot water she saw him. "Moose this better not be a
challenge or a trick. I'm not in the mood."
"Ranma. You must help. we were attacked by a... "
The sentence was left unfinished. The problem had decided to follow Moose. It
bore down on the house in terrible magnificence. It was at least two meters
tall. He was very well developed, not the musculature of a weight lifter, but
the lean muscles of a swimmer or runner. It looked like a foreigner. Every
It, It, He, It. One of these things is not like the other.
thing about the estranger was white. It had long white hair, down to the
shoulder blades. The robes it was wearing looked like some desert outfit.
Even its skin was pale, pale even for a Caucasian. But the most prominent
feature were the wings. Great feathered wings sprouted from its back. The wings
were a translucent white, and reflected the colors of the rainbow.
"Let me introduce myself. I am Narac. I have come here to confront you mage.
I have defeated the local warrior and now I will defeat you." Said the
estranger.
"My name is Ranma Saotome and if you wanted to find the best you have come to
the right place." Ranma assumed a combat stance and started to study his
opponent.
At that moment Moose stand along with Ranma. "Ranma. I will help you defeat
this monster. It has hurt my dear Shampoo and it will pay. But I must warn you
Ranma. He is very unskilled opponent, but he is terribly strong"
They both jumped at it. Ranma came low in a straight kick, while Moose did a
At what?
flying jump. The stranger had not adopted a battle stance and took Ranma�s
kick in the chest. Ranma was surprised. He had kicked hard assuming that Narac
had to be as strong as Ryouga to give Moose trouble. But he was much stronger!
The kick he had just received would had sent any of the Nerima wrecking gang
flying if they had not blocked. This thing just took the hit, took a step backwards
Note that mass would explain this as well as strength.
and threw a punch. A very clumsy one Ranma noted. Ranma blocked with his left
arm and twisted like a ballerina to hit Narac on the back of the knees. Narac
was obviously not trained from the surprised look on his face, thought Ranma.
Ranma rolled away sensing something wrong. Narac was standing in a shadow, a
huge shadow. Up above Moose had reached optimal altitude to launch his attack.
He took out a wrecking ball and threw it downwards. "You will die for hurting
my Shampoo." Slowly a local eclipse took place as the projectile blocked the
Shampoo! (the exclamation mark fits what he's saying much more)
sun for the two combatants. Ranma was getting out of the impact area, but Narac
just stood there with a calculating look. At the last possible moment Narac
punched the ball and sent it flying. Moose was still holding the chain and was
pulled away with it. As he disappeared he was howling in fury.
"Ok. Now it is just you and me. I really do hope you are better than him."
Narac said this with all the arrogance that only monsters command.
"Come over here and we shall see." Ranma looked confident but was wondering
how to handle Narac. The angel had no training, but he did have incredible
strength and endurance. Testimony to that strength was the bruise that was
forming on his arm. He could not use the heaven blast of the dragon. They
I'd suggest 'heavenly dragon blast' or 'Hiryu Shoten Ha'
were both very close to the house and someone could be hurt. And Ranma was
not confident that a chestnut fist attack would work. He needed to take the
fight elsewhere and to think how to win. It was a variant of a technique he
did not often use, but it was the best choice now. The secret Saotome
technique.
"Come and catch me if you can" Said Ranma. At the same time he jumped on to
if you can," said Ranma.
the roof of a nearby house. It was his variant of the Saotome technique. In
GENMA: That's nothing like my Hell's Cradle attack, boy!
There are many Saotome techniques; I think the (Speed, Separation,
Strategy) one is referrd to as a Saotome School Final Attack.
many places it is also known as 'let's take this outside'. Narac looked really
angry. "Take me seriously boy. I will be the last thing you see before you
die." The angel started to beat its wings to go after Ranma. But fate is a
double edge sword. The wind, that the beating of the wings had started, blew
edged
dust everywhere. Katsumi said "O my. It will take a while to clean this mess."
Kasumi said, "Oh my.
(change all Katsumis to Kasumis)
Narac stopped flying. -It is a trap and I almost fell for it. He is a sorcerer
and this is his house. He can not use blasting spells here for fear of killing
his family.- "Boy, I will not fall for that trick. I am not following you. You
want to keep your family safe? Come over here and let me kill you. Then I shall
leave them alone."
- This looks bad- Thought Ranma. "If you are so tough. Why don't ya, come and
get me. If you�r not up to the challenge why did ya came looking for me?" It
was not a good ruse but he had to try.
If you are so tough, why don't ya come
If you're
"If you want to play. We will play." The angel took a step into the house and
took Katsumi by the neck. "Now if you are so kind as to come here. I will not
kill her" Akane had, up to that moment, kept out of the fight. But this was
too much. "Let go of my sister" Akane attacked Narac, trying to hit the elbow.
She wanted to free Katsumi. As Narac grabbed her by the face, there was a small
flash of light. But none of the combatants could make anything from it. Ranma
had come down from the neighbor's with a face that would scare an oni. " You
are so dead" Attacking Akane had been a bad move, but she has attacked first
and was a strong martial artist. But attacking someone as defenseless as
Katsumi was way too much. Ranma threw a full chestnut at the angel kidneys.
RANMA: And if that doesn't work, I'll throw a watermelon.
KUNO: A watermelon? AGH! <strike strike strike>
chestnut-fist, or 'Ranma threw a flurry of punches at full
chestnut-fist speed directly at the angel's kidneys.'
Not even it's supernatural endurance could protect him from that and the angel
let go of Akane.
Again, 'it' and 'him' don't go together. (This goes back to what I
said last fic about it probably being easier if you gave up on the
'it'... it's hard keeping a figure gender-neutral)
*************************************************************************
Ranma was very pleased with himself. He had saved the Tendo sisters. And now
he was going to take care of the new psycho. He spotted a perfect place. It was
a wide opening next to a small canal. It even had a powerline over it so that
he could not fly.
the psycho could not fly
RANMA: No, I can't fly either.
TAROU(Nelson): Ha ha!
"Hey assh***. Lets fight down there" Ranma came down and rolled to set himself
under the power lines. Ranma was planing what to do. -He can�t dive bomb me now.
Now we will see if he�s got any long rage firepower.-
Narac was wary. He had thought this would be an easy fight. But this Ranma had
proven otherwise. He had already hurt him in the back. And lo let anger get
letting
the better of him had been a mistake. Back in the house he had had an advantage.
-Maybe if I charge him and I do not let him use those strange moves he did
before.-
Strange moves? Ranma punched him. Really fast, but if Narac thinks
those are strange, he's really not much of a fighter.
What happened next was completely unexpected. Narac is a magical
creature. That meant that while it knew lots about magic it was completely
ignorant about technology. The angel did a perfect dive attack, through the
high voltage cables.
Don't see why magical creatures would imply that. Being asleep for
thousands of years, now that would imply it (well, modern
technology. Technology such as fire, metallurgy, and so on he is
presumably familiar with).
Ranma was stunned. This freaking monster had just decided to kill himself.
Ranma was still for half a second and that almost cost him his life. As he
dove to the side he saw the angel touch the electric cables with a blinding
flash. When his vision cleared, Ranma gagged. The angel was burned, not as bad
but not as bad
as he thought at first. Narac had been extremely lucky. His body had cleared
the space between cables, but the wingspan had not. Both wings had burned
almost instantly. The smell was terrible. It would be something like a pigeon
and a chicken nuked together in a microwave for 2 hours or Akane�s breakfast
special. The electric cables had fallen away from the combatants, some of them
into the water. Ranma was astonished. The angel had lost both wings, short
blackened stumps now replaced them. But it was getting up!
Narac was angry. Extremely angry and hurt. Whatever that blasted sorcerer had
done it had hurt. The body was mostly uninjured, but that had taken more than
half of the power reservoir. The wing were a total loss. He would have to grow
new ones. That would take time and lost of energy. -I am going to suck this
bast*** and his loved ones dry- He stood up. "Sorcerer your trick did not work.
I am still alive. And now I will kill you." Narac charged Ranma. But to his
surprise Ranma backed away. "Come and fight me you coward." Not even insults
could goad Ranma into action. -What is he doing? We are just going around in
circles, but he is not casting a spell I would sense that easily. What is he
up to?-
Ranma was carefully measuring time. -More, more. Come closer. Closer. Get
angry. More angry. Closer. NOW!!!- Ranma had been biding his time. He completed
the spiral. "Hiry� sh�ten ha" A tornado began to take form as the hot and cold
Ah, and here you're using the Japanese name.
chi began to interact. The exangel was sucked into the tornado and blown skywards.
RYOUGA: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This angel is no more! He
has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a
stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to
the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are
now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled
off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin'
choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-ANGEL!!
NABIKI: Guess I'd better replace him, then.
(with apologies to Monty Python)
A smile began to form in Ranma�s face, but it was sort lived. When Narac was about
20 meters of the ground there was an explosion. The tornado was ripped apart,
as a subzero cold sphere blossomed. Narac did not know it but he had saved
himself. He was a creature of cold, and when the hot wind had taken him off.
He had been in pain and he had instinctively formed a cold defense.
Ranma was stunned again. That move had only failed once and it had been
nothing like this. That small instant of hesitation was a costly one. When
Narac had formed his defense all the force in Ranma�s blow had been scattered.
That same force now hit Ranma back, forcing him back several meters. Into the
canal. Let us say that Ranma is an incredible lucky man. He dove far away from
the electric cables. But water, is a conductive medium and even so, he got quite
a shock.
Narac was now rising up from the floor, again. He felt like he had been chewed
on, several thousand times. As he got up, he took a look around. -Where is the
sorcerer?- The angel was turning around warily. He expectef Ranma to ambush him
expected
with another strange trick. As he scanned the area he saw his target. A pair
of dark blue Chinese pants and shirt were floating in the canal. As he neared
his target his face showed a great disappointment. "What is this??" He had
come near the canal expecting to see his enemy defeated. But it was another
trick. He only saw a small human female in the sorcerer clothing. -A what an
ingenious trick. He possessed the body of this female and fought with me. No
mater the outcome he would not loose. Hummm I will take this vessel with me
to see if I can use it against him.- He knelt next to the canal and drew an
unconscious Ranma-chan. -Quite a beautiful specimen. Well now I must fix the
damage to this body.- Narac Was a creature of cold that meant that while heat
could do a lot of damage to him cold would help him heal. He concentrated and
drew on the last scraps of the power within himself. His hands began to glow
a soft white. As the glow intensified, frost began to form on the floor and
on Ranma-chan�s body.
Waitaminnit, if he's absorbing cold, then the surrounding area should
be hotter.
Narac grabbed the blackened stumps and feathers began
to grow. Son in a few moments the wings were fully healed. He was complete,
exhausted but complete. He picked up ranma-chan and flew towards the Tendo
Ranma-chan
dojo. -If he was unwilling to fight there and hurt someone, I will use that
against him.- With this thought Narac took of with his captive.