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Title: The Countdown to Matrimony (Ch. 4 of Part 1)
Anime: Ranma 1/2
Author: Denise Cameron aka Elena99
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Chapter 4: One Step Forward, One Step Back

"You and me have still got...so much we need to say...
'friends' is not enough...why can't we seize the day?" 
-- "Where Do We Go From Here?", DoCo

>From behind a small patch of bushes and a bonsai tree, a red and black
clothed figure crouched, watching. His eyes were glued to an elegant
table not too far from him, though far enough that he doubted he'd be
able to hear voices well from it. Unfortunately.

A lone girl sat at it. She was dressed nicely, though still casual, in
a pretty cream coloured dress with lavender flowers on it. Around her
neck was a plain silver necklace, and on her feet she wore a pair of
flat, white shoes. She looked anxious, as she had been waiting there
for ten minutes already. On her lap was a small blue change purse; her
hands were folded on the white table in front of her, decorated only
by a single vase containing a fake, pink carnation.

The girl was Akane, waiting for Ryoga to arrive. They had actually
shown up late as it was, her and Ranma and Nabiki. Ranma had acted as
though he were going home, but really he had planned to wait in the
bushes all along, especially after Nabiki had told him about her plan.
Her incredibly stupid plan, on the surface at least. Knowing Nabiki,
there were probably hidden parts that he didn't know of, but still. It
was a stupid plan. Really, he had expected better of her. She was off
getting another girl, Akari, and being sure she was prepared to 'save'
Ryoga from a deep depression after Akane turned him down. Although he
had voiced more then once what he thought of the plan, he felt better
about the date now at least; it had been all Nabiki's doing. Akane
didn't know any of this, though. Him and Nabiki both knew Akane well
enough to know she'd refuse to go along with it, if it meant
purposefully hurting his feelings like this. Besides, he thought, she
probably wouldn't believe them anyway. She was stubborn like that.

After a few more minutes, he did hear a sound by the entranceway to
the restaurant. Looking up, he saw Ryoga, and someone else that he
hadn't expected.

Ucchan? He almost said aloud, and hid himself further. It would not do
at all for her to see him now, and blow his cover. He wanted to know
why she was with Ryoga, and moreso, had Ryoga told her the plan? Did
Ryoga even know the whole plan? He had to.

Looking back to Akane, he saw that she hadn't looked up yet, and was
instead busy looking through something in her purse. A look back to
Ryoga showed that Ukyo was now gone. He stood there on his own,
without the pack he had been holding moments ago; Ukyo had probably
taken that for him. Although he wore a confident looking black jacket
over a white shirt and black pants, his posture lacked confidence
completely. He slumped his way over to Akane, who finally looked up as
he was about to pull out the chair.

Yeah, he knows the whole plan alright. Poor guy, thought Ranma,
chewing on one of the sweet buns he had brought with him. He had no
idea how long this was going to take, but he refused to leave. Akane
might need him, he reasoned. Also, this would allow him to see what
happened, rather then just hear biased versions of it later. Akane
smiled now, and her lips moved, no doubt in a greeting. A waiter who
had been anxiously watching from the sidelines ever since Akane sat
down brought them menus, but Ryoga declined his. Akane ordered, and
the waiter went away.

I wonder how long he's gonna stew before he comes out with it, he
wondered, his face blank. His sapphire eyes didn't leave them for a
moment; they were now at the point of no return.

* * *

>From the rear end of the restaurant, a short, dark haired girl with
plump cheeks and bright eyes walked in, and sat down at a table behind
the one Akane and Ryoga occupied. She nodded politely over to Ryoga
and smiled; the latter looked at her briefly before turning back to
his companion. On another side of the outdoor restaurant, a figure
clad in dark blue with long, brown hair crouched behind some bushes.
No one else in the restaurant seemed to notice.

* * *

Crossing her legs at the ankle, Akane tried to keep her face pleasant
as she looked over at Ryoga. Although he looked to be dressed well for
the occasion, obviously taking care to look good, he didn't seem to
want to be there. She almost wanted to reach out and pat his shoulder
comfortingly, he looked that depressed. He didn't even order
anything...what could it be that's got him so upset that he has no
appetite? She herself had just ordered soup, and a small bread and
sauce dish that she planned to split with Ryoga.

"How've you been?" she asked. His face shifted expressions; it was
rare for him to look happy, she noted. Perhaps he really wasn't that
depressed, and this was just a natural look for him?

"Alright. I, um, I hope it wasn't any trouble, you coming out here and
all. I appreciate it," said Ryoga. He had his hands clasped, and was
pushing his index fingers together to make a tent shape. Akane smiled
encouragingly.

"No problem. We're friends, right?" she asked, noticing Ryoga cringe
at the comment. Oh no...could Ranma have been right? She glanced
towards the bushes, eyeing them critically. Was Ranma nearby, maybe
hiding? She had a feeling he was, somewhere. It had happened enough
times before that he had spied on her, that she had begun to expect
it. Or perhaps she just took it for granted that he'd be around.
Frowning, she looked back at Ryoga, uncrossing and recrossing her legs
uncertainly.

"Right, right. Friends," he echoed. Or maybe not...he seems okay. Come
to think of it, I don't really know Ryoga that well. They had been on
dates before, but there was always something more to them. Either he
was pushed into an odd plot crafted by someone else, or it just
happened to work out that they were paired off. She was only
interested in friendship with Ryoga, though; despite being a sweet
guy, and fairly attractive to boot, there was just something missing
about Ryoga. A feeling that he didn't manage to stir in her. She
looked into his eyes experimentally for a moment, as though to confirm
this; yes, definitely, nothing but friendship. A warmth, but not a
fire. When he began to look nervous from her scrutiny, she smiled and
shook her head.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something. So Ryoga, you wanted to
talk? It looks like something's on your mind," she said. The waiter
brought over the food then, and she thankfully began digging in. It
had been a while since she had last eaten.

"Yeah, there is...something," he began, his eyes shifting over to one
side suspiciously. They shifted back to her, and he sighed loudly.

"First, I'm sorry for what happened at the wedding. I guess you could
say I got caught up in the moment...but still, I'm sorry. I acted like
a kid," he said, looking at his hands on the table. Is that all he's
worried about? It's nice that he's apologizing, though. After the
wedding had been trashed by several of their so-called friends, Akane
had a few choice words for the unfortunate ones who were still there.
Ryoga was one of those who had been in earshot.

"Well, thanks, I accept your apology. But beleive me, what you were
doing was the least of our problems. You didn't do near as much
property damage as the others, from what I saw, and you weren't trying
to steal me or Ranma. But then...what was wrong anyway? You looked
upset, from what I recall," she questioned, spooning up some more of
the broth from her soup.

"The truth is...well...," he began, and looked to the side again. Was
he looking over her shoulder at something? What was going on behind
her? Turning her head to look, she stopped when she felt a hand
touching hers. She turned back to see Ryoga blushing, as he moved his
hand away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn away as you were talking. I just
wanted to see what you were looking at." From behind Akane, a dark
haired girl waved shyly.

"It's nothing, nothing. I'm just trying to sort out my words," he
covered. Akane relaxed, and leaned back in her chair.

"Take your time," she said, looking at the other end of the room.
There were a few tables with people in them, but not many; it was an
odd time to want to eat. A few trees lined the sides of the area, but
it was mostly opened up with bushes in front of the trees. Cement and
marble squares on the ground made paths out of the restaurant on all
four sides.

What could be so big that he has this much trouble saying it?

She took in a deep breath of the fresh air before looking back at
Ryoga. His face didn't look quite as peaceful, but she waited
patiently for him to talk. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision,
and put his hands firmly on the table.

"Akane, I have something to confess to you," his voice sounded hard as
rock. Akane leaned forward attentively.

"Yes?" Ryoga backed up as she leaned forward, and looked down
bashfully.

"What is it? Please, tell me, you're worrying me," she said, frowning
at him. He was definitely acting strange now. She watched as he looked
over her shoulder yet again, then turned back to her, nodding.

"Th-the truth is...I...," his voice was low now, and she had a hard
time hearing him.

"Speak up, Ryoga. What are you so shy about?," she asked. This seemed
to trigger something in Ryoga, and he took a deep breath.

"Akane, I love you!," he yelled, the look of fear in his eyes
suggesting he hadn't quite intended for it to be so loud.

The restaurant was suddenly quiet, and she thought she heard someone
start to clap, before being quickly silenced. The sound of the wind
was suddenly very noticeable through the bushes, especially at either
sides of the room. Akane felt as though she had been struck. Ryoga
loved her? His voice sounded so definite, so sure. But why me? Why..?
Oh, Ryoga... She realized that she was now staring at him. The boy
still had his palms flat on the table, and his eyes firmly fixed on
his hands. She had to say something, she had to react. But what was
she supposed to say? And now... Oh no...so that's why he...that's why
he was upset at the wedding! God, I'm such an idiot.

It was a struggle to put a normal expression on her face. It didn't
any affect on Ryoga, of course, who still wasn't looking at her. And
this means...I have to reject him now. She felt as though a pile of
lead had just formed in the pit of her stomach.

"Ryoga...when...how? How long have you felt this way?" Ryoga sighed
again, and shrank back into his seat. Akane wished she could be
anywhere but that spot at that moment. Her feet were now flat on the
floor, her eyes fixed on her friend.

"I don't know when it started, exactly. But...it's been a while. A...a
long while, now." he ventured, his voice sounding far away. Akane
almost sighed, but held it back. I have to do this as gently as
possible...darn it, why me? And why now? She clasped her hands
tightly, making her knuckles turn white.

"I see. Ryoga...I'm flattered, but...you...we don't even know each
other that well, and...," she began, her tongue feeling fat in her
mouth. Nothing she could say now seemed good enough. Her eyes darted
around the room, looking for something, needing something to focus on.
The sigh she tried to keep in was let out, and she shook her head.

"I know. You have Ranma," said Ryoga. He said her fiance's name
coldly, still refusing to look up. How does their friendship survive
this? Or maybe that's why they're always fighting...I wonder if Ranma
even knows just how serious he is about it. She found herself looking
towards the bushes again, a spark of anger flaring at the thought of
him knowing, and not telling her.

Maybe he really isn't there...he would have come out by now.

Leaning an elbow on the table, she rested her head in her hand and
gave Ryoga a sober look, trying to focus on sounding sympathetic.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I had no idea...oh, and to invite you
to the wedding! May as well have rubbed your face in it. I feel awful,
Ryoga. I...I never wanted to hurt you," she said, sitting up
straighter as the full force sunk in further. Ryoga just nodded, the
light gone from his eyes. He halfheartedly looked over his shoulder
once more, but this time Akane didn't bother to wonder what was over
there. Getting up slowly, she walked around the table to Ryoga, and
put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm...really sorry. I'm not worthy of you. We're not meant
for each other at all. And...and what about Akari? I thought you were
in a relationship with her, now, or at least dating. Surely she's a
better match for you?" she asked, grasping at straws as they appeared.
Ryoga looked up slowly, but his expression hadn't changed.

"Akari...," he said, then hesitated. From behind her, Akane heard
someone get up out of a chair and walk towards them. Turning around
slowly, Akane didn't recognize the girl at first. She wore a soft, sad
smile, and her eyes were fixed on Ryoga, darting to Akane from time to
time. She took her hand off of Ryoga's shoulder as she realized who it
was. Akari. She looked so different somehow, with that sad expression
on her face.

She...she heard him confess to me. Wait...how is it that she just
happened to be here? What is going on? The gears started to turn
faster in her mind, but the solution wasn't forming just yet. She
looked at Akari suspiciously, then back to the bushes, then Ryoga. The
latter stood up, his eyes still beyond Akane.

"What about me, Ryoga?" she asked softly, her voice sounding as though
she wanted to be cheerful but couldn't quite muster it. Akane took a
step away, letting Akari approach him. Was that a tear in Ryoga's eye?
His whole body shook, but Akari only walked closer.

"Come on, talk to me. Please?" begged Akari. But Ryoga didn't reply.
Instead, he spun on his heel, and started running out of the
restaurant. At the same time, the sound of a bush moving was heard
from behind Akane, and she heard footsteps approach.

"Sorry, Akari, but don't follow me!" he yelled as he left the
restaurant.

"Hey Ryoga! Wait!" called another familiar voice that ran past Akane
and Akari, to catch up with Ryoga. Ukyo. Ukyo? Why does she have
Ryoga's pack with her? And why am I starting to feel like a pawn?,
wondered Akane, not having moved from her spot. She could feel her
anger welling up; she hated being used. It was subdued temporarily by
the current situation, but only barely. Although she felt relief at
having the conversation with Ryoga over, a deep tear in her heart was
making her want to fall to the ground. She had upset him. Greatly.
Somehow, Akari had too, though she wasn't sure how. Perhaps he really
didn't feel anything for Akari, having run from her like that. No,
this is far from over. It can't be that simple. Confused, Akane looked
at the ground, letting out a large breath of air. The weight didn't
come off of her shoulders, though.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Akari," she said. Why am I apologizing
so much? It's not like it makes anything better. she thought
miserably. Of all things that she hated doing, hurting people was
something she detested.

"It's okay. I can be strong...like a...like a...," But she didn't
finish her sentence, and instead raised a silk cloth to her face to
wipe away a tear.

"I should go," she said sadly, looking in the direction Ryoga had run
off in. The poor girl.. Akane looked at her sympathetically, feeling
utterly powerless.

"Just give him some time, let him sort out his feelings. Why don't you
go for a walk, and then go catch up with him later?" She asked, trying
to smile. Possibly seeing the effort, Akari tried for a smile as well,
but it looked too odd with her sad eyes. Adjusting her red shirt over
her blue pants, Akari looked back at the seat that Ryoga had been
sitting at, then headed towards the entrance opposite to the one Ryoga
had fled from.

Akane was unable to tear her eyes from the girl. She couldn't imagine
what she was feeling...why had she been in the restaurant anyway? Just
in time to hear Ryoga confess.

Why is nothing making sense?

A cold chill filled her veins, and she wished the other patrons of the
restaurant would finish going about their own business. Picking up her
change purse, she walked up to the entranceway that she had originally
come in from, and stopped to look from one side to the other.

"Ranma...are you here? If you are, come out," she said quietly, as
though afraid that if she said it too loudly and he was not there, it
would just make things more embarrasing. When nothing happened right
away, she slumped her shoulders, and took a step forward. However
before her other foot could go forward, she heard a rustling to her
right. Before she could blink, Ranma stood beside her, looking
sheepish. Sheepish for Ranma anyway, which wasn't very. Just looking
at his face confirmed her suspicions that there was more going on here
then she had been told, and that Ranma was hiding things from her.
Again.

"How didja know I was there?" he asked. Narrowing her eyes, Akane
raised a fist and hit him as hard as she could. Watching him fly off
into the air, she sniffed, then started running up the stairs. He had
been there. She was right, he had been there, watching her the whole
time. What for? He couldn't possibly have been enough of a jerk to
want to watch that display for personal reasons. No, this was beyond
that. Far beyond that.

Ranma was involved. She wasn't sure how yet, but he was involved.
Ignoring how some of the stress had left her at the strike, and the
fact that he was there when she was upset, she instead focused on how
she had been played. Used. Like a piece in a puzzle, like a toy, like
a...like a pawn.

"Hey! What was that for?" he complained when he caught up with her
again.

"You're hiding something from me," she accused, looking at him with
murder in her eyes. He couldn't possibly expect her to believe that he
didn't know why she was angry. Was he that dense?

"Feh. I do you a favour, and you're all up in my face," he said,
shaking his head as they started walking again. Akane held her head
high, fuming and wanting to push him away, but also wanting Ranma near
so she could get more details. The punch had felt good; a lot of the
weight had just melted off, as though it had flown away with him.

"A favour? You call that a favour? You could've prepared me at the
very least! I looked like a complete idiot there, and then even more
of a fool when I tried to stutter out an apology to poor Ryoga and
Akari. What were you thinking? That everything would be okay, and work
itself out?" She asked, hitting him again in the shoulder, though not
as hard. His reaction was the same as though a fly had hit him, and
that just made her even more mad. How could he be such a jerk? To make
her play out that scene and be so casual about it. A favour! Of all
the things to call it.

"Maybe. What's it matter? It's over now, anyway," he said, shoving his
hands in his pockets irritably. I wonder if he did it all on his
own...Nabiki brought the note originally...then she came along with
us, too... But she suddenly was not in the mood to find out who else
was to blame; Ranma was guilty, and he was easier to fight then
Nabiki.

"Saying that doesn't make it better! Idiot," she said, as her battle
aura prickled. Fighting back tears of stress, she took in one long,
deep breath then let it out. She hated to admit it, but Ranma was
right on that point at least. It was over and done with, and despite
how much beating on him allowed anger to be released, it wasn't worth
the effort.

"Was Ukyo part of the plan too?" she asked, suddenly remembering about
the okonomiyaki chef running after Ryoga.

"Nah. Didn't expect to see her there," he replied simply. Frowning,
Akane replayed that part of the night in her mind; Ukyo getting up
from behind the bushes, with Ryoga's things no less, and running after
him. She had always suspected there was something going on between the
two, but they denied it up and down.

"Stop poutin' about it, Akane. It's one down, ain't it? You're the one
who was so set on startin'," said Ranma. Akane looked up at him,
confused at first, then felt her face heat up as she realized what he
meant. One suitor? One suitor down? All that to tick a person off the
list? Her aura flickered violently, but she didn't lash out, as
something else occured to her.

Ranma...cared? About telling their suitors? He had picked an
incredibly stupid way to do it, but the fact that he cared was a
problem. It made her less angry, and instead just bewildered.
Violently bewildered, but all the same. She wondered how dumbfounded
her face looked, and tried to shake the expression away.

"That's what this was all for? Well, gee, Ranma, I don't know _how_ to
thank you," she said sarcastically.

"What was I supposed to do? Let him keep droolin' over clueless you?"
he asked, his voice giving away that he actually did care about the
situation. An odd twinkle came into Akane's eyes, and she looked up at
him, the anger melting away to amusement. Dark amusement. So Ranma did
know...this whole time...and judging from his face...oh wow, his face
is so plain right now, I can read it like a book!

"You were worried!" she cried, pointing at him accusingly. Ranma's
eyes widened, then he looked away, quickly covering it with his usual
nonchalant attitude.

"Don't be dumb, of course I wasn't," he said. Akane still smiled
mischievously, her step lighter now as she had caught him with his
guard down. I knew it! For all his talk, I just knew it!

"No need to be ashamed. Everyone worries, even people as thick headed
as you," she said smugly. This was much more fun then beating on him
physically. Ranma's ego was the size of China; picking at it irritated
him much more then a punch to the heavens, or a gender-changing water
dunk.

"And who'd worry over an uncute girl like you?" he challenged,
stopping to face her. Undaunted, Akane smirked, her hands on her hips.


"You, apparently, stupid. And don't you ever make an elaborate plan
like that without consulting me again, got it?" She said, starting to
walk away. She thought she caught some rather uncomplimentary
grumbles, but Ranma still followed her as they headed back home to the
Tendo house.

One down...and Ranma initiated it. But...why does he have to be so
stupid about things like this? There better not be anything else he's
keeping from me, or I swear I'll...

But she didn't voice her threats, or question him. Instead they walked
home in silence, pointedly not talking to each other the entire way.

***

"I stared at lonely nights
Those days, I was in darkness
Why did I ever meet you?
I finally found you." 
-- "Love Seeker", Ranma 1/2

Ryoga could not stop running. Despite his efforts, and the efforts of
the brown haired girl running almost fast enough to catch up with him,
his legs would not cease to race each other forward. His heart
pounded, and his breath came out in ragged, short gasps. He always had
been a fast runner, and now without his pack on his back (and instead
with his pursuer, no doubt) he was even faster. He dodged people,
bicycles, carts, stands, anything or everything that didn't leap out
of his way. Faster and faster he ran, turning corners, running up and
down streets, though still hearing his pursuer calling his name and
ordering him to stop. Ukyo's voice came to him as though from the
bottom of a well, and his mind didn't want to register it.

It only wanted to hear Akane, or maybe Akari. But he knew he couldn't
bare to face either one, right now, for different reasons.

He had no idea where he was going. Just forward, though forward was
starting to get complicated. Behind him, he heard Ukyo cursing at
someone, and realized that she was no longer so close. Dodging a small
vehicle, he drew from within himself to go faster. To run harder. Soon
he didn't even hear Ukyo anymore, or anyone else. Nothing but his feet
pounding endlessly on the ground, and even barely that.

I'm sorry Ukyo...but don't follow me...I only mess things up.
I'm...I'm no better then Ranma!

Tears briefly touched the corners of his eyes as he kept on running
towards the outskirts of town. In his mind an image of Akane stung
him, with her beauty, her mind, and her rejection. Stung him to the
core, to be only replaced by Akari. Seeing that image hurt all the
more, because he knew that he had hurt the poor girl. That he was
still hurting her, by not rushing back to explain. There was nothing
he could do to take back what had happened.

I can only hope she'll forgive me. I'm sorry, Akari...I'm sorry,
but...

Ryoga was getting quite used to being sorry, and recognized this
bitterly. Still though, he ran on, needing time to think, and to expel
his anger. Anger at life, and mostly, anger with himself.

--

Notes: I have a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Some things
about it I like, and want there. Other things...I wish could be better,
but frankly, I've picked, and picked, and rewritten, and I don't know what
else to do. It's necessary for what I'm doing, but...
     Anyway, this was the most picked at chapter out of the whole 
thing. If you didn't like it, I don't blame you, but it gets better later on.
    Also, this is the last chapter of part 1. 

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