[Harry Potter and Cho Chang materialise in a run-down Muggle cinema. They
blink and look around.]
Harry: What--?
Cho: How'd we get...wherever here is?
[The screen begins to show words...]
I do not take credit for the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned and
created >by the goddess Rumiko Takahashi. The rights go to her and Viz
communication. This is my own story and in no way express how Rumiko
wanted her story to go.
Harry: On a first-name basis with a goddess? Must be someone important.
J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, owns all Harry Potter characters. With
that in >mind enjoy!
[Harry and Cho blink]
Harry: 'Characters'?
Cho: Best not to think about it.
(Title Pending)
Year 1
Part I
Chapter 1-The Gathering
Cho: ...of first parts, apparently.
Inside his office a man of considerable age sat at his desk. He had long
white >hair and a beard to match. With his half-crescent spectacles on, the
man >looked over one of his many books. Smiling, he looked up as an older
lady >walked in. She was dressed in emerald green robes with her hair tied
up in a >tight bun.
Harry: Errr.
Cho: By older, you mean older than Dumbledore? Because Professor McGonagall
really isn't...
Harry: Nobody really is. Well, except Nicolas Flamel.
She had a soft look as she stared at the man behind the desk.
Cho: ...I can't picture it.
Harry: Neither can I, and I've *seen* it.
"Professor McGonagall, How are you this evening?"
"Very good sir."
Cho: Someone's English went right out the window, didn't it?
"Yes, well_I received a letter from the Ministry of Magic a few days ago"
Harry: Someone's punctuation followed it.
Puzzled, "Sir, my apologies, but we receive new students every year"
Cho: Someone's grasp of narrative prose decided to jump out after them.
"Ahh, but not like these young ones. They will be studying a new subject
at >Hogwarts. The Mystical Arts, apparently the Ministry of Magic have been
keeping track of the Mystical Arts and feel that they can no longer ignore
the >number of children attuned to the practice. They thought that it�s
time to bring it >into the curriculum."
Harry: Does that make even the slightest bit of sense to you?
Cho: Not at all.
"Our students don�t know anything about Martial Arts, which you know is
the >foundation for using Mystical Arts."
Cho: Hey, I do a little Tai Chi...
Harry: CHO! You promised not to tease me about--
Cho: I wasn't talking about THAT!
Harry: Oh...alright. Sorry.
"The Ministry knew this, which is the reason why they felt that all new
students >from this point on will have to take the beginning class their
first year only."
Harry: Errr...alright?
"It seems that there are some special kids who would be exceptional in
this
Cho: Is that even a word Dumbledore would use? 'Kids'?
Harry: Not that I've noticed.
curriculum. Right now the other wizarding schools are recruiting every
student >they can get their hands on, but before they could get their greedy
hands on a >select few, I was able to recruit four of the top young children
that could prove >to be very strong indeed. And one could be the strongest
of all."
Harry: Someone replaced Dumbledore with Snape.
Cho: Did a right poor job of it too, I daresay.
Smiling mischievously, "You may remember her. I ran into her a long time
ago in my travelings around the world. She was very strong and quite a good
mentor I must say. She is the elder of the Joketsuzoku, Khu-Lon."
Professor McGonagall became very excited which was unlike her.
Harry: Not that anything else she's done so far is like her.
"Very well, she sends you her greetings. Right now Khu-Lon is getting in
touch with the four children. She had already contacted three and in the
process of talking to the fourth and most important child." Smiling at the
woman across his desk. "This will prove to be a most interesting year don�t
you think."
Cho: The writer must have been absent the day they taught about sentence
fragments in primary school.
Albus Dumbledore smiled; it was going to be a very interesting year
indeed.
Harry: Then why do I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach?
Cho: Hagrid's rock cakes, perhaps?
Harry: No, I think this story is actually even harder to digest.
"Foolish boy don�t you want to become the greatest martial artist in the
world."
Harry: I'm fairly sure there's supposed to be a question mark at the end of
that sentence.
Genma was disgusted with his son; he worked and slaved so the boy could be
Cho: And a semicolon instead of a colon there.
greater than he was. And all his son does is cries while he�s being dunked
into >a pit of starving cat. What an ungrateful son he had. "Quit crying
and learn the >cat-fist already."
Harry: ...
Cho: ...
Offscreen voice: Not the writer's fault. That's actual canon.
[Harry and Cho glance at one another]
Harry and Cho: ...
Offscreen voice: Hey, I happen to agree, but let's stick to ripping apart
the story at hand, alright?
Harry: *blinks* Who WAS that?
Cho: I haven't a clue.
Ranma Saotome
Wondering around Japan with Father, Genma Saotome
Harry: I've wondered around Surrey, and I've wondered around Scotland, but I
don't reckon I've ever wondered around Japan.
Cho: Me either. I've wondered *about* China, though. *pause* That has
absolutely nothing to do with anything, though.
Khu-Lon had heard this before, "Yes it�s true that Hogwarts is a school
for >Magic, but starting this year they are going to be teaching martial
arts.
[Harry suddenly falls over laughing]
Cho: *blinks* What?
Harry: I just had an image of Snape as the bad guy in a badly dubbed
chop-socky picture. [does an impression of badly-dubbed Snape] "You Potter.
Cannot defeat me with. Your pitiful kung fu. Fifty points from Gryffindor.
And now you die."
Cho: *stares for a minute, then bursts into giggles*
"No need, your wife was more than willing to set up an account for Ranma.
Right now he has more than enough money in a bank to last him for the next
seven years."
Cho: Something tells me that telling him that isn't the smartest move.
Harry: Really. Something very Dursley-esque about him in that regard.
Smirking, "I�m glad to hear it, now if you excuse his mother requested
that I >bring him back to her so she could visit with him till he had to
leave for school. >Classes start the beginning of September. I shall take
him a few days early so >he could buy his school supplies."
Harry: Someone call Madam Pomfrey. That paragraph is very, very sick.
"Yes, now if you excuse me." Khu-Lon went back over to Ranma, "Son, how
would you like to go to a school and learn to be the greatest martial artist
in the world."
Cho: "No thanks, I'd rather go to a school and learn proper grammar and
punctuation."
In a flash Khu-Lon and Ranma were off, leaving Genma behind. He spent so
much time training Ranma that he didn�t know what to do now. Instantly he
looked around for the closest bar and decided this was a time to celebrate.
Cho: What an odd fellow.
#9;The next few weeks flew by as Ranma spent time with his mother, Nodoka
[Harry and Cho blink at the above sentence]
Harry: I'm not sure if I want to know what that '#9:' is doing there.
Cho: Feeling lost in a sea of #2?
Carrying only his backpack, he climbed into the taxi. Cologne sat in
front with >him while the other three passengers crammed in the back. He
really didn�t >know what to say to people he didn�t know. His isolation
away from other >people didn�t really give him the ability to strike up a
conversation to somebody >he didn�t know.
Harry: Just noticed that Khu-Lon has suddenly become Cologne. You might
consider sticking to one or the other.
Cho: Also, that entire paragraph reminds me of the time all three Ravenclaw
Chasers went down in a tangle after a collision with a Bludger and the other
team's Seeker.
Harry: Right big mess?
Cho: Exactly.
"Hello," Ranma didn�t know how to act around the opposite sex either, but
he thought that he should be friendly. Akane on the other hand was anything
but friendly.
"Yeah whatever,"
Harry: Err.
Cho: Is this girl mad for a reason, or is she just a bitch?
"Look, I�m sorry to bust your bubble, but I�m the best martial artist
here." She held up her head with pride.
Harry: WHICH BLOODY "SHE"?!
Cho: Calm down, Harry!
Ryouga perked up, "I challenge winner,"
Cho: He just forgot how to speak his own language, didn't he?
"Okay until we can get a language spell on you, I will have to be your
translator here. This is Hagrid, Game and keeper of the keys at Hogwarts.
He�ll be taking us to Diagon Alley to purchase your school supplies."
Harry: That's 'Keeper of Keys and Grounds'.
"Konnichiwa"
"Konnichiwa"
"Konnichiwa"
"Nihao"
"Hello, youngins."
[Harry and Cho both snicker]
Harry: Okay, I'll admit, THAT was funny.
Hagrid led them to the back of the bar as they exited into a little
alleyway that >was blocked. They watched as he took out an umbrella.
Tapping certain bricks >on the wall.
Harry: Writing in sentence fragments. Having terrible grammar.
Cho: Copying from a book. Badly.
The goblin stepped off of the cart, saying something Khu-Lon gave him the
lantern.
Cho: Run-ons, now. Cute.
Handing the key to the goblin the vault doors opened up. Ranma peered
inside amazed at how much money was in there. The coins were stacked up so
high. There were silver and bronze coins, but what surprised him the most
was how much gold coins he had.
Harry: Funny, this seems rather familiar.
The kids were off. Each one had decided to go off and explore Diagon Alley
on >their own.
Offscreen voice: They'll never see Ryouga again, unless he turns up in
Hogsmeade right when the train arrives.
Ranma just stared at the man thinking he was crazy. He felt like leaving
the >crackpot and going into another shop. Coming back immediately he held
out a >wand placing into gently in his hands. "I�ve never found anybody who
could >wield this wand. It was an experiment in new wand making. Much too
unusual >for the average wizard or witch, but you may, kind sir are not the
usual wizard or >witch now aren�t you."
Harry: Do I even need to say it again?
Cho: At this point, it's a bti redundant.
Placing the wand in Ranma�s hand he stepped back. The wand did
something-even Mr. Ollivander wasn�t expecting. A feint blue glow started
surrounding Ranma. He looked at the wand it was red smooth all around.
Cho: Red smooth. As opposed to blue rough?
Harry: Or perhaps green sandy.
"Smiling I remember every wand and every person I sold the wand to, take
care
Harry: Narrative goes outside dialogue.
Xian-Pu walked with Ranma as she helped him get the rest of their books.
Walking up to the front counter, weighed down by books they placed them on
the counter. Xian-Pu looked at Ranma up and down. Where she�s from, males
are considered weaker than women are. Amazon women ruled the village and
have been for centuries, but they also appreciated a man who was strong and
she could tell that Ranma was a very strong individual.
Cho: Verb tense shift mid-paragraph.
Inside there were cages of all different type of Owls. Off in the back was
where >the cats were held. Xian-Pu excused herself as she went to the back
of the >store. Ranma had already decided that he wanted an owl. There was
something about the noble creature that just attracted him.
Harry: This story feels the same way about owl droppings.
The kids look at each other, Ryouga just shrugged his shoulders. "Big deal
who is the Harry Potter kid."
Harry: I could kiss that boy.
Cho: ....EWWW!
Harry: Hey! That wasn't--! I'm not--!
Cho: I think I need to keep a closer eye on you, Mr. Potter.
Khu-Lon just stared at the kids, "Well I guess I�ll have to tell you the
story of Harry Potter."
Harry: Wake me up in a few years, so I can find out how it ends.
Chapter 3 � He-Who-Must-Not �Be -Named
Harry: What, you mean Voldemort?
they wouldn�t speak his name. Even till this day they don�t speak his name.
They just call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
"What was his real name?" Akane was getting into the story already.
"His real name is Voldemort"
Harry: If you're going to say it anyway, what's the point of not just saying
it right out?
Ranma sighed, "Everything in life is training for martial arts. This is
just a long >training trip. That�s how I look at it."
Cho: He's not TOO obsessed, is he?
A feint red glow started coming from Ranma�s bag next to his bed. Turning
uneasily from side to side, he started of a black cloak figure floating
toward him. >He tried to get away, but he couldn�t move. His feat was
cemented to the >ground. A long bony finger emerged from the sleeve about
to touch Ranma�s >forehead. He could only watch terrified that his life was
over. A bright flash >blinded him.
Harry: Hey now. I'm the only one allowed to have bizarre, frightening scar
dreams.
Cho: I think that was a bizarre, frightening cursed wand dream.
Harry: Oh. ...alright, then.
The other three were following behind Ranma, but Ryouga was the only one
to >sit in the same compartment as Ranma. Akane and Xian-Pu decided to sit
further down in another compartment. Looking toward the steps, he noticed
a >young man struggling to up the stairs with this owl and trunk. The boy
was >gangly looking with his hair messed up. He was wearing glasses and
what was >unusual was the he had a scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his
forehead.
Harry: Ah, THERE I am!
"Yeah, my brothers and I were going to help you when we saw that you were
having trouble bringing your trunk on, but then we saw him lifting it up
with you with one arm. Oh, I guess I should introduce you. The name is Ron
Weasley." When he shook hands that is when he noticed the scar. "Oh MY
GOD! Your him aren�t you."
Harry: Even when you mess with the way it really happened, some things never
change.
Ryouga looked the boy up and down, "Doesn�t look like much does he."
Harry: HEY!
Ranma didn�t say anything, but he could sense a power hidden within the
boy. He couldn�t explain it, but it felt like he was in tuned to Harry for
some reason. Shrugging it off, he looked out the window.
Harry: Oh great, just what I needed. MORE innuendo.
Cho: *giggle*
"How exciting, now I can try out my new spell that I was working on."
Getting >out her wand she waved it and pointed it at Ranma. "Linguioso!"
Then she >pointed it at Ryouga, "Linguioso!" Putting her wand away. "Hi, my
name is >Hermione Granger."
Cho: You have to wonder why it took so long for someone to do that.
Harry: My guess is the writer fancies Hermione and wanted to make sure she
got a chance to show off.
Hermione heart started beating fast when she looked at Ranma. She didn�t
know why, but she felt her face getting flush when she looked at him.
Cho: *rolls her eyes*
"That�s a beautiful name."
Ron looked at Harry, "Could you get anymore desperate."
Harry snickered, trying to cover it up.
Harry: That entire exchange was somewhat confusing.
Cho: I followed it, but only just.
The boy bows, "Please to meet you, Draco Malfoy at your service." He
started snickering again. Harry gave Draco a dirty look, "Oh come now
Harry, it�s all in good fun. If I were you though, I would watch what sort
of people you should hang out with. The wrong sorts will give you a bad
reputation."
"I think I know who the wrong sort are."
Harry: Deja vu...
Draco sneered at Harry, and then his attention turned to the two
foreigners. >"Look guys, we have real yellow people. Straight from
wherever they came >from. They probably don�t know we�re even talking about
them. What a bunch >of stup.."
Cho: *HISS*
Harry: *ducks for cover*
Draco looked down at Khu-Lon, he knew better than to say anything in front
of a teacher. "No, no problems at all." Giving her a huge smile,
whispering to Ranma. "Your lucky. Come on lets get out of here. I feel
dirty for some reason."
Harry: *mutters something about Snape, hoovers, and greasy hair*
Cho: HARRY!
Harry: Just stating a fact.
Harry was just staring at Xian-Pu. The purple hair beauty mesmerized him
as >she was talking excitedly to Ranma. Ron was coughing, nudging Ranma.
"Hey >aren�t you going to introduce us?"
[Harry notices Cho shooting a death glare at him]
Harry: *blinks* What?
[Cho continues to glare, tight-lipped and diapproving]
Harry: *sweatdrop*
Harry waved and bye just barely came out of his voice. It was so soft
that >nobody in the compartment heard him. His face was flushed, he didn�t
know >what he was feeling, but he really liked Xian-Pu. Hopefully he would
see her >again.
Harry: WHY do you keep glaring at me like that, Cho?
Offscreen voice: I'll give you a hint. It has to do with eating Chinese.
[Offscreen voice is not heard from again, as Cho whips out her wand and
casts several particularly nasty hexes at the speaker.]
"Ol yer firs years come over her. Leave yer bag on tha train. Everin
else, yous know where to go." He patiently waited till all the first year
students were
Harry: Hagrid must be incredibly drunk to be slurring his speech THAT badly.
Cho: That, or the writer just doesn't know how to write Hagrid properly.
Chapter 5 � The Sorting
(Incomplete)
Harry: That's it, then?
Cho: Looks like.
[Cho and Harry suddenly vanish from the cinema, leaving the author's notes
rolling on the screen in a vacant room.]
Sorry if your email doesn't support html tag, this was the only way for me
to send this properly without having to redo my entire story. This is my
one piece of writing I'm most nervous about so please no flames, subjective
criticsm is welcomed and noted. And if anybody be willing to be a
pre-reader I would greatly appreciate it. I'm a huge Ranma and Potter fan
and need somebody to get out the kinks in the story. I decided to give me
other stories a hiatus until I'm finished with this. And if you want to
read this they way it should be read please visit my
website...http://www.geocities.com/fanficshrine/fanfics/ranma_harry/year1.ht
mThanksDark Ranma S
Do try to find a way to reformat as plain text, because it's the preferred
method of posting. Also, please try to improve your grammar and punctuation
skills. This was rather painful to read.
I won't go into further comments, since I already did a fair job of ripping
this apart above. This COULD be good, if it received a total rewrite and the
core plot of it was explained and handled in a way that's not so
ridiculously contrived.
Sorry, but I'm gonna hafta give this one the Doopot award.
-ELL
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