My apologies, folks, for this taking so long.  I've spent the last two weeks battling 21 pages of notes and a nasty head cold (I will hold off on any jokes about what I might have had I gone to AnimeNorth instead - the last week or so has been bad enough).  In any case, I give you the full version of our time at AnimeCentral2003

==========

It's been crazy around here at the Ucchan.  We've been busier than one-legged men in a butt-kicking contest.  We've been lucky to shoo the last customers out and close up for the evening by midnight these past few weeks; and I'm not half the night person my kunoichi is.  So the lack of sleep hasn't been doing me any favors.

This weekend is not about to change that, I'm sure.  And being busy does have a side benefit to it: we've been grossing enough to allow us to make a major change in how things are run around here over ACen weekend.

For starters, they won't be run around here; the Ucchan will be closed for the duration.  That's right, folks, this year we're doing the total immersion schtick.  No more of this dipping-our-toes-in, day-tripping, just-visitng-today-tomorrow-and-Sunday nonsense.  We're gonna be there 24/7 for the whole weekend long.  Not that the twenty-minute drive to and from Rosemont was necessarily so awful, but doing it at two or three in the morning after Anime Jigoku has been a real pain.  And then there's those exorbitant parking fees everyone charges in Rosemont.  And finally, there's the awful nagging feeling that you're missing out on something.

Granted, there's nothing to do about that last sensation.  You're gonna have at least 5,000 people here; you've gotta keep 'em all kinds of different busy.  So there's always gonna be a lot of different stuff happening at once, most of which any one person's gonna miss.  At this point, I sort of hope someone else is keeping track of what's going on, otherwise y'all are gonna get the idea that this elephant is long and leathery, like a snake.  All I can do is describe the part of the elephant I'm holding onto...

THURSDAY, MAY 15

...although at the moment, it isn't an elephant I'm holding onto, but rather, a very large cat.  And a sewing machine.

It's not exactly cosplay, but about a week ago I got it into my head to put together a large stuffed version of KamiNeko (also known as Chiyo-chan's father) from the Azumanga Daioh series.  Considering that it's 10:30 pm, and I'm snagging every time I try to connect the arms to the rest of the body (hey, gimme a break - I'm sewing through four layers of fur, here), I'm starting to wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew.  Lord alone knows how cosplayers put all their stuff together.

It doesn't help either that Dan-chan is still wide awake and refusing to do his homework at the moment.  Konatsu is doing the best possible job of nudging without nagging, but Dan-chan can be intractible at times.  Oh, well... it's not that we don't have to stay up and wait for one of my sempais in any case: turns out that James called while I was still at Furinkan today, Konatsu-chan talked him into driving up this evening and staying the night at the Ucchan.  My kunoichi is even more into convention life than I am, despite being only half the otaku I am: the social aspect of the whole thing is 'Natsu-chan's heaven, really.

***

One of our non-otaku friends is over as well as we wait, and I sew.  We've done our best to turn Kevin into an otaku, but what with being dyslexic, subtitles are no walk in the park for him.  We're lucky to get through an episode or two before his eyes start to hurt.  I've been getting a few dubbed titles lately, but the one I'm most into - KareKano - holds no interest for a single forty-year-old guy.  Perhaps the whole romantic bit is just rubbing it in, or maybe he's just not the romantic type to begin with.

***

By the time James-sempai does show up, it's nearly midnight.  KamiNeko is actually sewn up, turned right-side out, and stuffed, even.  Granted, he doesn't recognize the creature, but given that Azumanga hasn't - to my knowledge - been commercially picked up, that's understandable.  We may have to do a *lot* of explaining over the weekend.

Part of the reason he's so late is that he stopped by the hotel briefly in order to register ahead of time - not a bad idea, that.  He's got all the paraphernalia they hand out, including a schedule of showtimes and programming information.  Says here the opening ceremonies are at 11am.  We'd best get to bed, if we want to make it there on time.

Of course, *we* have to get Dan-chan off to school before 9am, so getting to bed should be a no-brainer, right?  Well... it's harder than it seems, but not because of homework.  James-sempai wants to check out IRC with me, and while we're there, there's some buzz going on about a new show being fansubbed.  KaliedoStar is supposedly about a girl trying to get into a Cirque du Soliel-style acrobatic troupe.  DFR recommends it, and who am I to gainsay him?  So by the time I set up a few queues, and upgrade my DivX player (as Windows Media Player apparantly chokes on the file), it's past one.  Not that Dan-chan (or his Legos) mind terribly.

FRIDAY, MAY 16

But we do manage to get him off to school, and slightly early, no less.  Now, to get ourselves packed and ready.  It doesn't take me very long to get my stuff together and thrown into various suitcases (or not - KamiNeko will just have to ride in the backseat).  Konatsu, on the other hand, is going through the trademark 'just one more thing' every time I try to close one of the suitcases, and scurries off for it.

Even once we're in the car, my kunoichi thinks of one more thing that's needed, so I just sit in the car for a moment and start in on my notes.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find any of my old notebooks (and for all I know, they may well be filled for the most part in any case), so I'm using scratch paper from my first attempt at printing out the fanfic panel list.  John Biles had to cancel at the last minute, as Travis Butler - his ride - couldn't get off of work over the weekend, so the panel info I'd already printed was suddenly out-of-date.  Well, John, console yourself in the fact that at least *some* good will come out of these sheets.

It's odd, really... every year, it seems my note-taking technique gets more and more low-tech.  Back at AnimeIowa98, I was trying to type fast enough on my notebook computer (and not really succeeding).  Most of the time, I've been using paper notebooks instead.  Now, I'm down to scratch paper.  Another couple years, and I'll be scratching this report in cuneform on a clay tablet with a stylus.

Finally, my kunoichi tumbles into the car.  So what took you so long, sugar?

Oh.... my notebook.

***

It's gonna be close - after a wrong turn or two, we show up at the hotel with five minutes to spare before 11.  Can we make it to the opening ceremonies in spite of ourselves?

Ah... no.  They've got a line here as big as the cosplay line was last year.  Must be for the poor saps just showing up to register at the con.  WHAT?!  This is for the *pre-registered* guests?!  You've GOT to be kidding...

They aren't.  At least a staffer is kind enough to explain the situation; apparantly, they've had a lot more pre-registrations this year, seeing as to how they made it easy to do over the web.  The line we're standing in right now has been pretty much this long, folding up outside the hotel building, since about 7am.

Oy vey.  For now, Konatsu and I split up, and I go check into the hotel while my kunoichi holds the line and sews velcro patches onto KamiNeko's paws.  The girl at the front desk asks how many will be staying in the room, and when I tell her, "four - myself, my spouse, and my two sempais," she hands me two key cards.  Evidently, she thought 'sempais' was some sort of odd pet word for 'kids'.  So much for fanboy Japanese, huh?  But what else d'ya call those guys?

When I return to the line, Konatsu's almost gotten indoors, where another staffer is explaining the count: 2,600 people pre-registered for ACen this year.  Based on past history, that translates to approimately eight thousand people they're expecting to have show up.  That's more than half again the crowd from last year.  Otakon and AnimeExpo had better watch out: number three is gaining on them!

Of course, the sheer size of this thing has already chased a few people I know away from it, such as Zen.  I wonder how long it will be until "no one comes here anymore - it's too damn crowded."

***

Once inside, we are quickly found by Paul Corrigan - I'd warned him about KamiNeko, and he's easy enough to spot, even if we aren't.  Like James-sempai, he'd checked in at the con last night, so he's good to go.  We're starting to wonder if we shouldn't have done that, too, rather than be stuck waiting in this line.  Well, it was either that, or getting KamiNeko together.

Well, at least we can watch the cosplayers as they go by: that makes three Kagomes so far already.  I'm starting to wonder if that particular outfit is available off-the-rack or something.  A Sana-chan walks by, complete with large squaeky hammer, which she hits me with when I call out to her.  At least she has the decency to ask permission first (although granted, it's out of character).  And while I've certainly seen goddesses cosplayed before, this is a first to see Keiichi in his 'K-1' motorcycle jumpsuit... with Peorth?!  Now there's an outfit that takes guts to wear, or rather, no gut at all.

A fellow walks by with a stuffed Pen-Pen.  It's been a while since we've seen one of those; are they selling them in the dealers' room again?  Whups... should have noticed the hairclips: he's cosplaying as Shinji.  Konatsu suggests that when the con is over, we check out ebay for any Pen-Pens that might be offered for sale there.

By the time we get within sight of the registration desk, it's already past 12 noon.  As we get our badges (and there's some concern over that for a moment when we're asked for our receipts, or at least some ID - neither of us has the first, and Konatsu left the latter back in the car), a horde of otaku meander past going the opposite way as we want to.  Evidently, we've missed the opening ceremonies.  Damn.

***

So now where do we go?  We pore over the program guide to figure out where and when we might want to be somewhere this weekend.  It's impressive that they have the entire lineup for all six screening rooms, and that certain rooms are even themed: shoujo, mecha, dubbed, shounen, and a couple just marked 'miscellaneous'.  I note with some dismay that, while they are showing hentai during the wee hours of each night, it's in the room specifically geared for dubs.  I don't consider myself to be much of an elitist on this argument, but bottom line, hentai is the one genre that really should *not* be dubbed, in my opinion.  Konatsu points out that we have brought hentai titles of our own to watch... or not watch, as the case may be.

In fact, we've brought a whole bunch of fansubs, some of which we're trading with the sempais, others that we just brought to watch, assuming we have the time.  For all the acquisitions we've been doing, we really haven't had the chance to actually *watch* much of our stuff.  Ironically enough, that may not change even here, where the main purpose is supposedly to watch the stuff.

Returning to the subject of hentai, it's just occurred to us that one of us forgot to pack underwear.  I'm not saying who, but for all the trips back and forth, you'd think my kunoichi would remember something like that.  And 'Natsu-chan isn't about to consider my suggestion of 'going commando': nice underwear is apparantly an essential part of a kunoichi's arsenal, even now.  Well, we'll deal with it later.

As we're sitting at a table outside the main programming room - translation: we're right smack in the middle of Artist's Alley - we get our first offer to *buy* KamiNeko.  Are you kidding?  We haven't even finished sewing it up; lord knows we're not ready to part with it!  Konatsu suggests we consider making another (or even a few more) for sale either at AnimeIowa or for next year's art auction.  Hmm...

Speaking of stuff for sale, their 'got soap' mascot appears to be Excel (despite the fact that it's *Hyatt*s voice actress that's here this year; imagine that, Hyatt at the Hyatt) holding a mammoth supersoaker, muttering "Don't make me use this..."  And it would seem that ACen's product line has branched out; they're even offering for sale a line of bobbleheads based on - dear gods help us - Sailor Bubba.  A damn good reason to stay *away* from the dealers' room, if you ask me.

After some deliberation, we determine that there really isn't all that much happening for the next hour, until 'Anime Match Game'.  So it's a good time to get our stuff put away.  We wander back through Artist's Alley - en route, finding someone who *is* selling plushies (specifically, PeroPero from KareKano - wonder if Paul's seen these?), and ordering one from her.

***

Finding our room isn't as easy as you'd like to believe; the key says 2324, but it's pretty obvious that there aren't twenty-three floors to this hotel.  But after asking for directions, and something of a hike, we manage to find the place.  Now to get our stuff.

And hey, since the garage is connected to the hotel by skyway, and the convention center (where the dealers' room is.  Yes, we're going, Sailor Bubba or no - hey, it's something to do) is connected to the hotel by skyway, we should be able to kill two birds with one stone, right?  We'll stop by the dealers' room, pick up a few things, and then stop by the car and get our gear, and haul it all back to the room at once, right?

Wrong.  Turns out, these are two separate skyways, extending from opposite corners of the hotel atrium.  Oh well, as turned around as we are, we find ourselves at the car, and decide to simply grab or stuff and get back.

Even then, we have at least half an hour to kill.  More than that, as we run into James-sempai for the first time since checking in; as we hand him his key, he informs us that the Match Game's been cancelled, as the fellow running it is still stuck somewhere in the Atlanta airport.  Poor guy.  Well, at least that gives us time to comb the dealers' room more thoroughly.

***

Now, fans of this report (shyeah... all five of you) are familiar with the fact that I have no great love for Rosemont's mayor and dictator-for-life, Donald E. Stephens.  Bad enough he plasters his name and/or face on every public building in the town - that's something that should be reserved for posterity to do for you.  Worse yet is how everything in Rosemont seems geared to squeezing every last dollar from the visitor, from the parking fees everywhere you go, to the fact that reasonable restaurants are almost deliberately few and far between, requiring one to eat at the hotels' pricey establishments.  This past year, though, has been the crowning touch: Rosemont's Ohtori Akio made a grab for a casino license for 'his' city, and got turned down by the state.  Evidently the syndicate wanting to set up what would have been called "The Emerald" (Imagine that - something in Rosemont *without* the rose motif) had links to organized crime.  Though, what did one expect with a casino, after all?  Still, when a bunch of Illinois politicos nix your idea for being too shady, that's saying an awful lot.

That having been said, though, the Rosemont convention center is the biggest game in town.  And boy, did they need it!  The hall in which the dealers are set up is at least as big as the basketball arena used at AnimeIowa2000, and probably more so - it just *seems* small because it's quite literally wall-to-wall people.  KamiNeko's on my back, arms wrapped around me and holding on for dear life as we keep getting jostled by the crowds (I do find out later that a few people may have done that intentionally, just to touch Chiyo-no-otousan.  With that in mind, that's fine with me).  No great bargains to speak of, although we do run across a dealing wearing an apron emblazoned with KamiNeko and the Azumanga logo.  He grins, and offers us an Azumanga fanart book - not for free, sure, but reasonable enough that we can't pass it up.

Several other anime conventions have booths set up here, not the least of which is one calling itself Anime Reactor.  Now, I've been aware of them since stumbling across their website late last year.  And while their logo is reminiscent of the nuclear trefoil, suggesting power of atomic proportions, I can't help looking at the word "Reactor" from a different angle.  Specifically, what is this a reaction to?  Part of the reason for this is that, ironically enough, their inaugural effort will be taking place in the exact same hotel at ACen's debut back in 1998.  Symbolism or coincidence?  I mention it to the staffers, and they affirm the latter - most of them are surprised to learn about this parallel with ACen's history.  "The place was cheap," one shrugs, grinning.

We sign up, curious to know how Anime Reactor will set itself apart from AnimeCentral (the non-night person in me cringes slightly at the one assertion a staffer gives: "It'll be a non-stop party"), but we notice one thing different right from the start: the staff.  For want of a politically correct way of putting it, they could all easily cosplay as either Nadia, Anthy or Akio.  Thing is, though, a lot of racial barriers these days tend to be along cultural lines as much as anything.  As we're all sharing the same culture here (borrowed from the Japanese, of course), this shouldn't be a source of tension so much as a *unifying* event.  At the same time, it should give the Reactor a *very* different flavor from ACen.  I promise, I'll let y'all know, come late October.

KamiNeko is quite the conversation piece - a four-foot-plus, orange-swirled stuffed cat thing gets attention regardless of whether one is familiar with the series or not - but it occasionally leads to other topics of conversation.  One dealer we speak with recognizes my name on my badge, and when I mention that I've written fanfiction, he's all "You're *that* Ukyou?"  I curtsey modestly in reply.  He is astonishingly effusive in his praise, for me as well as several other authors whose works I admit I can't place.  

Of course, there's a catch to it all: "Why haven't you been writing lately?!"  Now, I've stated before that I consider fanfiction something you do when you can't get enough anime.  At present, 'enough' hardly does my situation justice.  On the other hand, there are a few series that could use a little more attention; I assure him that yes, I'm still at it to a certain extent (he's not subscribed to the FFML, so he missed my latest little drabble).

As we head off to explore the rest of the dealers' room, Konatsu nudges me slyly: "It's nice to be worshipped, ne?"  Well, I wouldn't go *that* far, but it's nice that folks still remember me and my work, and favorably.  Still, I guess it puts the onus on me to actually produce something again at some point in the near future.  Not that I don't have plenty clogging the pipeline...

When I was in college, the last of the VHS/Beta wars were still going on, and so you had to be careful about the videotapes you rented.  So to me, it doesn't seem like all that long ago.  And now, VHS tapes are going the way of the Betamax and other such dinosaurs.  Dealers are offering tapes at prices like 8 for $20 - but you gotta buy eight, no more, no less.  We find four that we want, before encountering a fellow otaku with a similar problem.  So, each of us ponies up a ten-spot, and walk away happy with four tapes each.

As we near the end of our tour through the dealers' room, we spot a sign on one of the dealers' tables protesting the fact that they are not allowed to sell Pocky, or any of the other traditional Japanese snacks.  Evidently, the convention center doesn't want their own concessionaires to lose revenue.  As if you could compare hot dogs and nachos to shrimp chips and Pocky.  They're going to lose the revenue anyway, both to the consuite, and to a certain level of protest, I'd wager.  One *more* reason to hate Donald E. Stephens and company.

Speaking of the con suite, we decide to head back there to rest our feet and kill some time before we meet for dinner at 6:00.  Unfortunately, it's not being held in the Forum this year, so there's no stage from which to read fragments of "Amy Bellette" as Paul and I had considered.  And in fact the suite by the pool is considerably smaller than last year in any case.  But the spread is quite good, including a couple of soft drink dispensers, the standard chips and dip, some veggies for dipping as well, and cheese.  Someone's taken a page from AnimeIowa, and gone a step or two further, haven't they?

***

It used to be that the fanfic writers would meet in Artists' Alley before heading out for the Friday night meal together, so that's where we are, wondering where everyone else is.  Six o'clock passes, and a few minutes more, before we spot Paul Corrigan again, running toward us.  Seems everyone else is waiting in the lobby.  Oh.

It's a rather small 'everyone else,' too.  Basically, it's just those of us on the panel (and myself as an alternate), along with Paul, Konatsu and my sempais - twelve people in all.  At least it makes it easier on those of us driving.  Paul rides with us, and jokingly tries to make conversation with KamiNeko in the back seat.  

Once at the restaurant (and I find myself running back and forth to the car a couple times: once to leave KamiNako behind, the second time to retrieve my notes), I kid Paul about the possibility of his turning an Azumanga fic into a psychodrama like he has several times now with KareKano.  While, in a recent email, he implied that he might do that if introduced to the series, he ignores the suggestion and points out that KareKano lends itself so easily to psychodrama that it's hard *not* to create such a story.

This leads to a discussion of the first time watching KareKano.  Jeanne Hedge especially relishes telling how Rich Lawson dragged everyone he could find into the screening room at AnimeIowa98 to watch it.  I recall his recommendation; something along the lines that this was the best-written show he had ever seen.  Now that I've read the manga, I wonder how much credit goes to Tsuda-sensei as opposed to Anno-sama.

Jeanne has a few other war stories, as well, including the Catholic ladies' conference that was going on at the same hotel as ACen98 - the ladies didn't really take too well to us otaku, particularly the cosplayers (I personally recall a young man I met there who was dressed as Usagi to deliberately, and I quote: "freak out the mundanes").  On the other hand, there were a few caught peering curiously into one screening room or another.  

Bert VanVleit and Pearson 'Doc' Mui add on with tales of the Panda Dance from that year's cosplay, along with '99's sequel, the Pen-Pen Dance (where Amanda Winn-Lee, also known as Rei Ayanami's English voice actress, boogied in her bra with the guy).  Bert evidently was there the next day, when folks were telling Ms Winn-Lee about her antics at the cosplay, she was all "I did WHAT?!"  Doc asserts that the Pen-Pen dance more or less got her banned from ACen for life.  Pity; she was such a colorful character.

I'm rather chagrined when, asking about Roehl Sybing, I discover myself seated right across from him.  Whups.  I try to recover by asking his what insipred him to assemble his "Caught in the Sun" series, and he mentions how he loves soccer.  When I admit I prefer playing it to watching, the conversation devolves into a discussion of what sports people like and don't like, with mentions of curling and cricket invoking crosses and other warding signs.

Jeanne checks her watch, and changes the subject by mentioning that Eyrie Productions final episode of 'Neon Exodus Evangelion' (aka, 'NXE: the motion picture') has been released as of twenty minutes ago.  No, wait: two hours and twenty minutes ago.  Darn time zones and Daylight Savings.

It's also about this time that we discover that our former moderator Ryan Matthews and friend are sitting behind us.  He seems a bit abashed to have been caught out, so we wave our greetings and leave him (and her) be.  Besides, our orders should be about ready by now...

...what?  They've run out of hamburger buns?  Jeanne can be forgiven for wondering how a restaurant whose main stock in trade is hamburgers can afford to run out.  Less forgivable is Bert's assertion that the Denny's crew were loafing around, and it gets worse when Doc suggests that Bert is on a roll.  Gary Kleppe, where are you?

***

We all settle for some other bread for our sandwiches, and as we eat, the topic turns to war movies, for some reason (I think there may have been some discussion about the actual war, but I tuned it out, not wishing to discuss politics if at all possible).  There is some comparison of the American individual versus the Japanese team ethic that sets the nations apart, stylistically.  John Wayne versus Sailor Moon.  For the sake of playing devil's advocate, I point out that the series isn't called 'Sailor Senshi', after all.  And what about the transformation of Card Captor Sakura to CardCaptors?  The last comment gets a few hisses, but I think I've proven my point.

Of course, it doesn't stop people from grousing about what networks do to anime on this side of the pond.  Evidently, some cable station is broadcasting Evangelion, but they can't show Misato smoking or drinking.  I can't imagine all the stuff they must have had to cut.  Apparantly, Pen-Pen doesn't even *exist* in this network hack - and, as someone suggests, he's the one who's really running the show!  Another disagrees; all the penguin does is take panty shows of the various Eva girls (he's certainly at the right angle for it) and publishes them on the Internet.  If that's true (and I wouldn't necessarily dismiss it out of hand), that penguin must be raking in the bucks.

During all this discussion, CatWho's boyfriend (well, at least I assume he's her boyfriend) Brian is taking each of us aside for a few moments to interview us on how much we've learned and appropriated of Japanese culture through anime, and how we put what we've learned to use.  Evidently, he's doing graduate work on the subject; imagine that, you can get a master's degree in anime!  Several of us agree that it would have been nice to have such a courseload back when *we* were in college.  But given all these interviews, and all the data he'll have to sort through we he gets back, it's probably no less work than any other subject.  But at least he's working on something he loves, the lucky stiff.

Dinner over, several of us produce our share of the tab, but Jeanne waves us off.  Ara... thank you, Jeanne.  Even most so as she presents me (and I presume, the rest of the panel) with an e-book CD with volumes of science fiction and fantasy novels on it.  I'm really impressed: I don't try to get on the panel simply for the gifts, you know; just being there and talking about fanfiction is its own reward.  But I am very grateful, and make no mistake.  Granted, I will have to wait until I've finished this weekend's report before I even *consider* looking at it, but I ought to make it clear, I'm very appreciative.

***

Once Doc takes the customary picture (sorry, no limo in the background this time), everyone disperses to their own cars.  Poor Paul is trapped with us as we head about a mile past the hotel to pick up what Konatsu left behind (...there's a pun here, but I don't think I'll use it).  While my kunoichi shops, Paul and I discuss his work on "Amy Bellette".  It amazes me that he can write in first-person while allowing the character to think differently than himself.  He has a way with understanding a character's thought processes without actually agreeing with them personally (although it doesn't always show - I recall being very surprised at the fact that, while in the story, Aya exudes contempt for her parents' attendance at a protest rally against the Iraqi war, while in real life, he attended one himself).

Of course, knowing how a character thinks doesn't always make it easy; it's what's bogging down progress on "Amy Bellette".  So many possible outcomes simply aren't going to work at this point, either with the canon (for instance, Aya can't kill herself, or wind up with Rika) or the character of Aya Sawada that he's fleshed out (ie, she's not likely to convert back to heterosexuality).  At the moment, I can't think of any particular words of enlightenment to bestow upon him.

And my mind's evidently elsewhere, as we forget to turn off of Mannheim Road onto River Road, and find ourselves (at least momentarily) on the Kennedy Expressway headed into the city.  Fortunately, I'm better at getting out of jams than I am at preventing myself from getting into them, and we make it make to the con about fifteen or so minutes after Anime Jigoku is scheduled to start.

***

Oddly enough, it hasn't started yet.  Problems with the either the VCR or the projector: obviously, it has better taste than we do.  So we haven't missed anything.  Finally, after some minutes of fidding with the machinery, they kick off with the ads; one for an upcoming (real) documentary on fandom in North America - my notes say either otakuunite.com or otakuunity.com, it's hard to write in this darkness - and a (mock) public service announcement about 'using cartoons responsibly'

"Why do you watch Japanese cartoons?" asks one voice over, to the obvious (given the program) answer of "Because American cartoons *suck*!"  To prove it, they show an awful Chuck Norris chopsocky cartoon - I had no idea such stuff existed, and could probably have gone my whole life happily without knowing.  Much of this is starting to make me feel like that flagellating monk, who was asked why he beat himself:  "Because it feels so good when I stop."  It's almost a relief when the VCR refuses to play a tape.  Of course, if it felt *good*, it wouldn't be Anime *Hell*.

But the real hell of it all is that so little of this is new to me.  You've got your GI Joe public service announcements (and the audience chants along every time they hit the tagline: "And knowing is half the battle," which just goes to show how old hat this is), your 'Bring Me The Head of Charlie Brown' (but no 'Genre' this year, which happens to be one of Konatsu's favorites), your 'Robert Tilton, the Farting Evangelist', your Heino... but that's the bulk of it, and that was there last year.  So why am I staying?

As if in answer, the next item on the program ushers in Midnight Madness with a couple of Studio Sokodei productions.  "Evangelion: ReDeath" I've seen, but 'Fanboy Bebop' is a new one on me (well, I had seen trailers for it).  An extra year in the making (from what I heard from 'This is Otakudom's Scott Melzer, Sokodei's crew had nearly finished FBBB when they saw TiO and suddenly decided "Hm, back to the drawing board"), FBBB goes a step beyond the 'this is life at an anime convention' story of Otakudom, throwing in a romantic triangle as well as a battle between old-school otaku and gung-ho anime newbies.  The old-schooler gets quite the dressing down from the reluctant otaku (played by Spike Seagal) for his attempts to destroy fandom entirely in order to preserve it the way he remembered it.  A roar goes up when the old-schooler confesses that he now knows better, as it leads to a callback from GIJoe: yes, knowing is half the battle.

>From there, it slides back into familiar stuff, and a lot of people do leave after FBBB, despite the fact that 'Otakudom' and 'Bad Scottish Dubbing' have been revised and updated - slightly.  The staff mentions that they're gonna be giving out copies of FBBB and BSD to those who stick around to the end of the program.  What have we got to lose, besides sleep?  Actually, Konatsu does sleep through the Pinesalad Productions screening - KamiNeko makes an excellent body pillow.  I'd join my kunoichi in dreamland - pioneers they may be, but Pinesalad's 'How Drugs Won the War' shows its age insofar as it lacks the humor of current parody offerings - but KamiNeko's only so big, and I doubt I could wake up in time...

...for what turns out to be a janken-pon competition at 3 in the morning.  Konatsu is awake and competing right from the start, however, so we've got twice the chance to win.  But 2 out of 50 or 60 is for five DVDs (yes, even fanparodies are going straight to DVD these days) are pretty long odds, and I fall in the first round two out of three times.  Konatsu doesn't do much better.  We wind up staggering off to bed emptyhanded after all.  Still, I have a few contacts out in fandom - I should be able to track down FBBB eventually - so I'm not brokenhearted or anything.  Hell, I'm too sleepy to feel much of anything at this point.

Even my sempais' snoring isn't about to keep me from slumber for long.

SATURDAY, MAY 17

Morning, and I lie in bed listening while the sempais wake up and shower (hey, *we* got soap - although come to think of it, the little soap boxes all say "Made exclusively for Hyatt".  That's not exactly fair; why should she hoard all the soap, after all?) and head out.  Konatsu nudges me and suggests a dip in the pool.  Well, hey... it's next to the con suite, why not?  Swim for a bit, and grab some breakfast all at once.

Konatsu's disappointed that there's no hot tub, despite the fact that there's sufficient room for several, if they'd fill in those holes that lead to the conference rooms (currently being used for screening rooms) downstairs.  But we're here to wake up, and the cold pool water should do that just fine.

How cold is it, Konatsu-chan?  Only one way to really find out - I jump straight in.  The full immersion technique is a bit of a shock, but it's the only way to truly get accustomed to the temperature of the thing.  Of course, that doesn't happen right away, but eventually... I do a couple laps around and across the pool, using a few different strokes, and then it's off to breakfast.

As before, the consuite's spread is remarkable.  Donuts, bagels (complete with a commercial toaster - you know, with the conveyor rollers and all that?) and fruit.  No juice, though; have to settle for lemon-lime soda.

"Nice cosplay," comes a voice from beside us; presumably referring to our bathing suits (they aren't standard issue Japanese high school gear, though, but it's a thought in and of itself): it's Gary Kleppe, making his appearance at ACen.  Like Travis Butler, he wasn't able to get the day off yesterday either.  Konatsu and I do what we can to bring him up to speed on yesterday's events, before we soak through our suits and towels onto the chairs in the consuite.

***

Checking the morning's activity brings nothing in particular we're interested in.  So, once showered and dressed and so forth, we wander through Artists' Alley once again, purchasing the odd artwork, seeing and being seen.  Oh, and fighting the flood of people pouring into the main ballroom for the MegaTokyo panel.  Now, I mean no disrespect to Fred Gallagher, and I admit to not having read his online comic, but I fail to understand how this single strip can outdraw virtually any other event at the con, save for the cosplay itself.

Speaking of cosplay, we run across a pair of girls dressed as Sumomo and Yuzuki from Chobits (Sumomo's admittedly too tall, but Yuzuki's a bit short, so it evens out) along with a fellow wearing a Neko-Coneko like a hat a la the Azumanga class cafe.  Also from Azumanga is a girl dressed as Sakaki-san, complete with a gray cat puppet with jaws locked onto her hand: she insists on a picture of her dancing with KamiNeko, and we're more than happy to oblige.  Konatsu studies the gray cat carefully; we may have ourselves a new plushie project.

***

'Lunch' at the consuite is little different, but we continue to watch the cosplayers parade through (not to mention the occasional person asking whether there was anyone *in* KamiNeko - when he's seated in a chair, he does look more life-size).  A girl dressed as a humanoid version of Mokona; white dress and red jewel, but not billowed out like the original marshmallow god.  Speaking of gods and goddesses, here's a Skuld with a NERV handbag.  We exhort her to go smite Gendo, and put the fear of goddess into him.

We join a group of otaku discussing last night's Midnight Madness, and wondering where they can get copies of it all.  I mention that I have digitized copies of just about all of what was shown last night, and a few others.  They seem particularly interested in Neon Genesis South Park.  They inquire about how I encoded the parodies from VHS masters, and whether I have them available on the Internet.  Turns out, they're part of the Digital Archive Project, whose members have digitized and archived (among other things) the entire non-commercial oevre of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  Holy cow.... We swap IRC and e-mail addresses; this is going to be a spot to visit - in the not too distant future.

***

It's a scramble to get in and get settled; the room is a tight fit for the crowd.  At dinner last night, Jeanne had told us we could have gotten a larger room, but it would have been on the schedule at about 6pm tonight.  Between people trying to make arrangements for dinner and/or lining up for the cosplay, it is generally agreed that under such circumstances, we wouldn't *need* so big a room at that hour.  Better that we have a full house (and the full two hours to inform and entertain them).

I gete my stuff together and attempt to pass out panel guides while the main panel introduces themselves.  From the back of the room, the panel is urged to speak up.  Doc stands up and yells that they will try.  Bert introduces himself as 'infamous', clarifying that by recalling being dubbed a "purveyor of blasphemous fanfiction" by the I Hate Priss website.  From there, he is asked if regrets having staked his fame on a self-insertion; he does not, as he considers his avatar SkyKnight to be a reasonably fallible sort, "and I've worked hard to keep him that way."

So what's the difference between, say, a self-insertion and a Mary Sue?  Doc suggests that with a Mary Sue, you can see the puppet strings, "no, industrial strength wire" behind the scenes: everything's geared toward making the new character look good.  He uses the term 'balanced SI' to suggest that a self-insertion ought to interact, not warp (CatWho's term), the canon characters.  

After all, aren't all characters self-insertions to one extent or another?  In the audience, Gary Kleppe agrees, with a caveat about the difference between the authorial influence over characters and actually placing oneself in the story.

A question arises about lawsuits against fanfic writers, with Anne Rice and J.K.Rowling cited in particular (which is a bit of a surprise - I'd recalled Rice- and McCaffrey-related fics being yanked from fanfiction.net, but if Rowling's raised objections, the news hasn't hit them yet).  Is legal actiona concern among anime fanfic writers?  Roehl cites a survey conducted recently (although he cannot recall the exact source or date) that overwhelmingly indicated that anime facfic writers held no such fear.  Basically, the attitude is one of 'we're not really worth the creators' time to fight.'  Besides, to some extent, fanfiction serves as a form of advertising, contributing to word-of-mouth about a particular anime.  And for his own part, he states that if someone were to take his own characters from, say, 'Operation Reality Check', he would take that as the ultimate compliment.  So, if anyone wants to write an O:RC fanfic...

Jeanne points out that lawsuits are used only by certain authors, and brings up a particular case when Mercedes Lackey wrote a novel that matched a fanfic of her characters too closely.  She then takes a different tack on the question by bringing up Japan's well-established doujinshi culture:  American copyright laws tend to require an author or creator to defend the worlds and characters they've created, while Japan takes a more laissez-faire approach.  Of course, there are exceptions: TV shows Due South and Xena both used (with permission) ideas and even whole scripts culled from their respective fanbases, while the "Meet Sailor Moon/Mars/Venus/etc" novels are written by a prominent SM fanfic author now in the employ of those commercially licensing the show and its products in North America.  Conversely, someone in the audience points out that doujinshi are, in fact, technically illegal in Japan; they just aren't prosecuted, due to the fact that the effort involved is not generally worth it.  But if a doujin begins making too much money, well then...

All right, so fanfiction has its legal pitfalls, but what about writing original fiction?  CatWho shrugs that her characters always seem to end up behaving like one anime character or another eventually.  Roehl mentions his 'Operation Reality Check', while Bert admits he's never gotten any ideas committed to paper.  Doc shrugs, "Who'd read my original stuff?"

Paul Corrigan, seated next to me, asks about outside literary inspiration.  After all the time spent pre-reading "Amy Bellette", I know where this is coming from.  Hell, he's even gotten a fanart picture of himself and Aya Sawada, with the latter clutching a copy of James Joyce's _Ulysses_.  None of the panellists reach for such lofty heights, for insipration, but they do, certainly, find a fair amount outside of the realm of fanfiction itself (Indeed, Jeanne stresses that fanfiction is a *bad* source for inspiration, owning to the second- or third-generation feel a story will have if it's created through this process).  CatWho and Doc acknowledge Terry Pratchett, whose name draws applause.  Doc adds Arthur C. Clarke and Douglas Adams to the list, and mentions that "Peter Davis is my god."  Roehl favors a screenwriter, one Jonathan Lynde (sp?), while Bert gets his ideas from either movies or Loius L'Amour novels.  Jeanne's reading list is more nebulous, ranging from romances to sci-fi, but she does mention titles such as 'Guns of August' by Barb Zuckerman and a piece entitled (I swear, I am not making this up) 'Bimbos of the Death Zone.'

Sounds like a great title for a Dirty Pair episode.  And if they find out I said that, they'll kill me.

The topic jumps to fanbase overpopulation:  CatWho talks about how, when a series 'goes network', the fanbase enlarges tremendously, but tends to lose quality in proportion to its increase in quantity.  She's already abandoned Gundam fandom, and is on the verge of leaving Inu-yashu for the greener pastures of Hikaru no Go.  While Fanboy Bebop's message that 'we were all newbies once' should be taken to heart, she's still not thrilled when the fanbase expands to include a large number of highschool girls.  As she puts it: "highschool visitor stories are the bane of fanfiction."

So what are the most promising of the greener pastures?  What fandoms are most neglected?  Jeanne favors older series, like Project A-ko and Silent Moebius, while Roehl likes both the classic Maison Ikkoku ("where great things can happen to ordinary people") and fresh series like Princess Nine and Nightwalker.  Someone mentions 'Spirited Away', though the consensus is that its tightly self-contained nature (like with Maison Ikkoku) would probably preclude any substantial fanfiction base.

Jeanne turns a question onto the panel: should an excessive fanfic base discourage you from writing about a certain series?  Hell, no, says Doc: if you know you can write better than 90% of the stories on fanfiction.net, do it!  It's a line that gets a big laugh.

Gary asks about canon: how much should you retain of it in fanfiction?  Doc prescribes enough to recognize things, but not so much that it becomes cumbersome.  Ryoga should still be getting lost, but there's no reason a character should always have the same bento lunch day in and day out.  Roehl considers canon to be a dictionary as opposed to a bible, while Bert asserts that characters must maintain a certain recognizability.  Roehl disagrees, citing his current work 'Only Human' as an example of a character (Belldandy) being altered calamitously.  Jeanne counters that, even in that fic, Belldandy started out as the goddess we all knew and loved, and through a plausible series of events was transformed into the insecure mortal of 'Only Human'

Roehl admits to a preference to stories that change characters; full-circle fics, those that return to the way things were at the beginning, don't do much for him.  It explains why he hasn't worked in the Ranmaverse much.  Doc jibes that Roehl's evidently no fan of Star Trek: Voyager, either.

A question is raised about 'world-system fanfiction'.  When the panel ask for clarification, the questioner suggests a story based on the first players in the .hack//SIGN universe, and how it got assembled in the first place.  Jeanne smiles and asks when the questioner is going to be able to write this story.  CatWho expresses familiarity with the concept, due to a role-playing game based on the Utenaverse.  It's a bit limiting, as any action taking place cannot preclude the possibility of the events of the canonical story.  On the other hand, it does allow for a definate conclusion right from the outset.

One audience member asks if any of the panellists have had such a torrent of ideas that they've had to stay up nights typing in order to get them out on paper before they forget.  Their general reaction?  "Boy, I wish I had your problem."  Roehl adds that, unless you're ruining your health or interfering with work or studies, that's a blessing, not a curse, but a rare one indeed.

Quantity discussion, the panel moves on to quality control: how do you keep your focus as you write?  CatWho suggests starting with a skeletal outline, and going back and fleshing in parts as you run across mental blocks.  Jeanne recommends a standard beginning-middle-end framework to start with, while Roehl and Doc don't even bother with a middle to begin with; as long as you have a beginning and an end, the rest is (in Doc's words) "literary duct tape".

Someone who evidently has not followed this advice (at least, not the bit about starting with an end in mind) asks when a fic should be considered finished.  "When the characters stop talking to you," replies CatWho.  Roehl suggests that loose ends need to be wrapped up, and no character should be left hanging.

On a similar subject, should one wait until one is finished before posting work, or post a work-in-progress on a chapter-by-chapter basis?  CatWho considers it a matter of personal preference: how much feedback you think you need, and whether you want others making major-change suggestions to your fic.  Bert claims he used to wait until he was finished to post material, but after getting a few e-mails to the effect of "are you still alive?" he decided to put out regular updates on his webpage.

CatWho's mention of feedback segues into the topic of pre-readers.  Of the panel, only Roehl doesn't use them.  So what makes a good pre-reader?  "Someone who's not afraid to abuse you," says CatWho.  Gary mentions that it helps if a pre-reader can respond in a timely fashion, as well.

The discussion turns back to endings, and how to come up with them.  Doc continues to push for knowing the conclusion from the outset, if at all possible, while Bert suggests that a writer should just pick a good spot and mark it as an end.  An audience member (perhaps the one who mentioned world-system fics) mentions prequels, and the advantage they have of reaching a required endpoint.  But suppose your muse doesn't *give* you long-term endings, just whatever's about to happen next?  Roehl doesn't offer advice on that matter, but does point out that the best part of a fic is the end.  Start clean and end clean, no one remembers the middle.  Jeanne leads into the subject of 'tweening' (getting from point A to point B in the middle of a story) by suggesting one move on in the story, and write backwards.

Someone mentions that plot, if hewed to too tightly, has a tendancy to cramp a story; Steven King's analogy from "On Writing" is mentioned, wherein writing is like archaeology, and plot is like a jackhammer.  It'll dig, sure, but it'll break a lot of important stuff along the way.  Jeanne observes that everyone on the panel has their own style and approach to writing as well as surmounting writers' block.

So the topic shifts to something completely different, and much lighter:  What's the worst genre of fanfiction, in your opinion?  CatWho dislikes alternate universes, adding that she can't write that kind of story to begin with.  Doc cites stuff that is just... wrong, like, say, Optimus Prime smoking a joint (did someone actually write something like that?)  "How about lemons?" pipes up Paul.  Doc counters with a "You're on my list, buddy."  Ah, cameraderie.

Roehl mentions a distate for unconventional formats such as lists, and he, Bert and Jeanne all despise script formats (which, now that I think about it, is odd, given that Bert and Jeanne are some of the Old Guard of fanfiction, and way back when, *most* fanfics - at least, the old Ranma ones I remember from back then - were in script format).  Roehl gives a well-thought-out explanation:  part of the problem lies in what web formatting does to the script approach, with the indenting problem and so forth.  To be fair, he was taught to respect plays and scripts as part of great literature; the thing is, it sets a much higher standard for a script-format fic to hit... and it usually falls short.

At this point, a member of the audience rises and introduces herself as a Trigun archivist, and if anyone has or knows of any Trigun fics, to let her know - before everyone leaves.  It's at this point that Jeanne reminds her, and everyone else, that we're only halfway through the panel.  Yes, we got two full hours this time 'round.  And to think, I've filled two and a half pages of panel notes already!

But it does bring up the subject of archiving fics.  Jeanne, naturally, plugs rec.arts.anime.creative, and the love/hate relationship authors have with fanfiction.net is briefly touched upon.  It is also mentioned that specific genre and series archives can be found ("Google is your friend," I believe, were Roehl's words), and CatWho adds that YahooGroups are good for finding specific authors or fic styles.

And now, for something completely different: a man with... a story to read.  Specifically, Pearson 'Doc' Mui with a dramatic reading from his latest installment of 'Magical Girl Mayhem'.  With apologies to Doc, I usually stay away from mega-crossovers like this, but hearing it read aloud piques my interest.  Even Konatsu's eyes widen (my kunoichi is not into fanfiction anywhere near the extent I am); looks like we'll have to check the archives for this series.

Once he's finished, there are few criticisms, but a number of questions.  How do you keep all these characters straight?  "I try not to think to hard about it," he chuckles.  CatWho commends him for not including any gratuitous fanboy Japanese, a pet peeve of hers.  And Jeanne asks how he decides which series and which characters to use, given the large pool of worlds and characters involved in a multicrossover such as this.  It doesn't necessarily click right away, he admits; something like this takes several drafts and a lot of prereading.  The last is said with a slight scowl: evidently, he's having a problem like that which Gary cited about timely responses.

The question comes up about how much research is necessary to write a fic.  Jeanne mentions her pet peeve regarding school years: in Japan, it starts in April, not September.  CatWho says that the amount and type of research depends on the nature of the fic you're writing; she's studied The Tale of Genji and Lady Murasaki's Diary, but her fics take place in the Heian period, and so require such research.  In other cases, she finds herself simply reviewing the canonical manga and/or anime as a reference.  Bert claims to 'just winging it', while Doc straddles between studying and winging it (which may put him more on a level with CatWho than not, actually).  Roehl lays down only one hard-and-fast rule about research: don't use other fanfics for your source.

Which leads right into the concept of fanon.  Akane's mallet, and the corresponding Hammerspace she puts it in are cited as prime examples.  Bert notes that SkyKnight has somehow gotten absorbed into BGC fanon, to the point that fics are written about his character by other people, which annoys him, as he winds up having to answer for another person's fic.

>From here, it's only a short hop to the subject of hatefics (and it is made clear that, while it may have inadvertently spawned the genre, 'The Bitter End' does *not* fall into this category).  But before the discussion can get too heated, someone asks about the difference between slash fics and slasher fics... which breaks up most of the crowd, as the average otaku can tell the difference between yaoi and "Yowie!" (although, now that I think about it, certain males of my acquaintance have suggested there's a reason the word 'yaoi' sounds like a scream of pain)

Back to research, which is closed out by a comment made by the creator of Mysterious Theif St. Tail.  To objections that the show contained a grade-school novitate, the manga-ka suggested the critics should 'lighten up - it's only a story'.

A question is raised regarding crossovers and... 'shippers'?  Ah, those that endorse a particular romantic relationship over all others.  Doc objects to what he refers to as 'industrial-strength manipulation' used in order to get a certain pair together (which suggests it's as bad as an SI in his book) - someone mentions the prevalence of shounen-ai in Gundam Wing fandom (surprisingly, there aren't many fangirls who react negatively to this assertion that this is against canon).  CatWho talks about a certain relationship endorsed in the early days of InuYasha fandom, which actually became part of canon; the fans' reaction was "Yay! ...now what?"

Regarding crossovers, Bert expresses a belief that *anything* can be put together, provided it's well-written.  However, he points out that some simply can't *be* well-written.  As an example, he points out that certain universes have a certain technological incompatibilities.  Doc agrees that a certain level of compatibility is necessary to avoid having to use some ridiculous plot device like an interdimensional wormhole or some such.  Roehl states that a crossover, like a script, is held up to a higher standard, wherein ingredients from two different places must mesh: "literary Iron Chef," he calls it.  I suggest that the problem with crossovers may be too many folks who write like Akane Tendo... does that constitute bashing on my part?

Jeanne and CatWho talk about writing in open-ended and ongoing universes.  What do you do when the presumptions of a fanfic are superceded by subsequent canon?  Do you change it, or let it stand?  CatWho, in particular favors the latter, as the early InuYasha fics serve as a sort of time capsule.  Certainly, the Ranma fanfic base has similar series of waves as certain canonical plot devices are released to the public, and old ones fall by the wayside.

An audience member behind me mentions his efforts at research, going so far as to actually participate in a demolition derby in part to better detail what he proposes to be a first as far as crossovers go:  Initial D with the Dukes of Hazzard.  The panel implores him to get on with the writing.

And, in closing, what about the *panel's* current projects?  CatWho is wrapping up 'Fujiwara' chapter 7, which is just about to conclude the series.  Roehl admits that 'Only Human', while ongoing, may have to take a backseat to real life as he runs for office in Staten Island (he doesn't hold out much hope for winning; apparantly Democrats are as scarce in Richmond County as Republicans are here in Cook County).  Jeanne is taking a brief hiatus, having just released 'Spin Cycle'.  Doc's 'Anime Detective' we've already heard from, although he says final release is "pending eviseration by my prereaders"; it may be a while, apparantly.  And Bert?  Well, he assures us that chapter 11 of Bubblegum Zone is still in the works, although for the record, it was last year, too - I didn't change his description from Jeanne's blurb from last year's panel list.

***

The hallway to the main ballroom is completely closed off once we get out of the fanfic panel, not to reopen for the cosplay audience queue until 6pm.  So we decide to kill some time in a panel called "Dubs That Time Forgot".  Now *this* is the sort of thing that belongs in Anime Hell.  Of course, as bad as the dubbing may be in oldies like 'Space Adventure Cobra', a lot of these look like they were probably pretty lame in the original Japanese, too.  On the other hand, creating a laserdisc video game out of Lupin III (they called the game 'Cliff Hanger' from that scene in "Cagliostro Castle") looks like a cruel joke on us Americans.

But most of the material looks breathtakingly silly even without the assistance of dubbing, such as this old Sanrio product 'Unico', about a unicorn that befriends - of all things - a devil.  Another of Unico's friends, who spun off into her own series, is 'Katy the Kitty Witch', a title which I sort of *hope* lost something in the translation.  A scene of Kitty being confronted by a would-be suitor brings a comment from the back row: "He's riding a *really* big horse - think he's overcompensating for something?"

And then there's this show called 'Bobby the Raccoon', which the panel leader believes is still airing somewhere in Canada.  A scene in which a farmer tries to nurse Bobby back to health after accidentally breaking his leg just goes horribly wrong.  The full-body splint Bobby's encased in, combined with the farmer taking off his jacket, kneeling by the injured raccooon, and massaging his wounded leg all look like a cross between bestiality and bondage.  Of course, the animators intended for the scene to be completely innocent, so what does that say about us?

The panel wraps up with one of the very first DragonBall episodes to be dubbed into English, by a company called... Harmony Gold.  Isn't that the one that assembled Robotech?  Carl Macek's company?  Hoo-boy... Goku is (for whatever reason) called Zero, and Bulma is Lina.  I don't catch the other names, but you get the idea.  It's crap.

***

It's become a bit of a tradition for us to order a Gino's East deep dish pizza while we wait to queue up for the cosplay.  Granted, the last couple of years, we've simply eaten in the consuite, as food is no longer permitted in the queue.  We order the biggest size we can; no because we're that hungry ourselves, but you never know who might want to get in on it, too.  The sempais usually show up, as does Paul.  Dave-sempai does join us, and we call James-sempai, and eventually reserve the last slice for him, but Paul never does show up.  That's the way things go, sometimes.

Once we're finished, Konatsu heads for the cosplay queue while I put KamiNeko away - there'll be enough trouble getting seats as it is without dealing with a plushie big enough to take up its own seat.

***

KamiNeko safely stashed in the hotel room, I actually find Paul before finding Konatsu.  Turns out, he just got out of the Anime Game Show that the panel might otherwise have been scheduled against.  Came in second - with several DVDs and and artbook to show for it - thanks to my insistance over the last few weeks of pre-reading the he familiarize himself with Azumanga.  Apparantly, he aced a series of questions on that series that put him into contention... "so I can't say you've never done anything for me," he grins.

We find Konatsu and settle in place, only to be immediately confronted with con security.  There's to be no line jumping, on penalty of having your badge revoked and getting kicked out of the con.  Paul is forced to the back of the line, wherever that is.  I probably shouldn't, but after all, I've jumped the line, too - there's no 'technically' about it - and I ask the fellow about that.  I even take off my cap and offer him my badge.  He looks at me, and and Konatsu, in our identical shirts and caps, and concludes "I didn't see anything."  Riiight.  'Natsu-chan held the line for me, and I got in; there's no two ways about it.  So, with a "bye, honey," I head off to the end of the line, too.  Konatsu follows shortly thereafter, although I protest that it's not necessary: my kunoichi's *earned* the better spot in line.

***

Despite the mid-May chill, it's actually quite pleasant standing outside the hotel this evening, as we look over Paul's prizes (none of which appear to appeal to him, but "I'm sure they'll find good homes," he says).  The sun is still out and keeping us from getting too cold; we wonder if the line would be backed up the skyway in the event of a downpour.  

We invite Paul and his friend (it's not Doug Weeks, he couldn't make it to ACen this year, but for whatever reason, I didn't catch this fellow's name) over to watch parodies after the cosplay, to see the stylings of Bobby 'C-ko' Beaver.  C-ko Beaver... sounds like the title of a bad Project A-ko lemon - and to think, this never crossed my mind before.  Paul points out that "C-ko" could have it worse: he could have been named Richard.  Think about it, folks - I'm not gonna spell it out for ya.

***

We're among the last ones to get in, and accordingly, we're no longer escorted to specific seats.  We've actually got quite a number of places to sit, in fact.  Granted, most of them are behind the sound board, so the location's not exactly ideal, but at least we're in the center section, rather than off to the edge like last year.  Weird that the cosplay's not standing room only; sure, this year, they've actually got other activities going on, but still...

They're still checking the mikes as we find seats, and a staffer dressed up as Gendo Ikari informs us that they're running the second checks.  Is this all according to the plan, Commander?  Paul suggests that if they run a Third Check, the entire cosplay may be destroyed.

Actually, the feedback sounds like a shofar from Rosh Hoshana; maybe they *are* taking a page from the Jewish Kabbalah, after all.

'Gendo's' mike simply will not work without feeding back.  He instructs the audience to keep as quiet as possible throughout the show, so that our noise won't loop back through the mikes and feed back.  Well, it would have the advantage of precluding the old "Dance! Dance!" chant, but a cosplay without laughter or applause...?

Wait, now they're signaling the crowd to go nuts, just to check.  Hey, it's working!  On with the show, then!

***

The format of the cosplay is rather different from the usual haphazard style: they're sending out the walk-ons all in one stretch, followed by the sketch performers.  It'll make things go by pretty quickly, at least in the beginning.  Paul's companion leans over to me, as I'm frantically taking notes, and murmurs, "You'll never get them all down."

Naturally, I take this as a challenge.  Those who were there, let me know how well I did, starting with the walk-ons:

<deep breath>

Josie Flamingo from Chrono Trigger; Lady Elaine(?) from Gundam Wing; Trunks from DragonballZ; a "Sailor Cosmos" (who strikes a pose at the MC's urging, and the top of her staff falls off); a Puchu from Excel Saga (who comes out to a roar of "Puchu! Puchu! Puchu!" from the audience); Ione from Dead or Alive 2; Ayeka from Tenchi Muyo, followed by Tenchi himself; Gim, the dwarf from Lodoss Wars, complete with a reasonably fearsome-looking axe; Ash Ketchum and the "Pikachu Girls"; a character from G Gundam whose name escapes me; a Pretty Sammy who gets a big hand; Ruri Hoshino from Nadesico; Naomi Armitage from Armitage the Third; No Face from Spirited Away glides across to a big ovation; Wolfwood from Trigun; Elk(?) from .hack//SIGN; Sanbanmatsu from Jubei-chan; Sanosuke from Ruroni Kenshin; Kagome, followed by Inu-Yasha (who takes the mike and declares that "InuYasha fans scare me - I don't know why they're so... INTO it."); Aura from Clover bows demurely; Hina Kenshin himself; Xelgadis from Slayers; Megumi and Sanosuke from Ruroni Kenshin (and the six-year-old Sanosuke gets a long applause and a "Kids rule!" from the MC); a character from YuYu Hakusho I can't identify; Netto Ikari from Rockman.EXE; Mimo Ellington from Maiyano Project; a character from Hellsing gets such a loud ovation, I can't hear the introduction; A from Clover; Chun Li from Street Fight bounds out and does a cheerleader-style routine to another loud round of applause; the entire cast of InuYasha, complete with the obeyed command: "Sit"; and finally, Yuna and two of her companions from Final Fantasy X come out, bare midriffs and all, to huge applause.

Hoo boy... that *was* a challenge.  As the sketches begin Konatsu whispers "now, you don't have to write so fast."  Heh.  I only *wish*...

***

An older video game character kicks the sketches off with something up her voluminous sleeves, including a bra (oops!), three juggling balls, and a large ACen banner.  Unfortunately, she hadn't reckoned with carting it all offstage now that she's gotten it all out... or maybe that's part of the joke?

Fuu and Hikaru come back well-laden from the dealers' room; apparantly Umi is still chasing Mokona through there.

And now, a commercial:  SNK vs CapCom vs... eBay?  Wow, magical girls helping you win your bid, what a concept!

A couple of anime characters work on their efforts at cosplay.  Their costume?  Jeans and a t-shirt.  Of course.

A silver-faced beauty with gossamer wings stands statuesquely on a plinth while her partner silentlyspreads his own wings.

A character dressed in a suit (and who for whatever reason I cannot place) complains about 'his' costumed fangirls.  A comparably-dressed character comes out and silences 'his' rant with a sloppy yaoi (which is actually yuri) kiss.

The MC introduces Girls in Fuzzy Costumes doing DDR.  Whether they're girls or not, you can't tell under those costumes of... Hello Kitty and Ein?  Okay, so the dancing's not great, but all things considered...

Another group with a name, this time the 'Otaqueens' doing what they call 'a B-movie rated G'  A tree and a box are placed on stage, with notices that they aren't cosplaying anything.  As the crowning touch, Rabi-en-Rose with a chainsaw isn't nearly as scary as... Duo Maxwell moonwalking?

The next sketch is introduced as a social commentary on hunger and poverty.  Specifically, it's what the Slayers guys will do to overcome these two obstacles... such as dressing in drag.  Xellos looks positively gorgeous in a daring cheongsam, while Xelgadis is, to put it mildly, not taking it too well.

More Slayers insanity: Lina and Amelia are upstaged by Filia, who's mad enough at Xellos to prepare a Dragon Slave of her own.

Ohtori Academy is apparantly interviewing for new members of the Student Council (read: new Duellists). Ken and Ryu from Street Fighter apply, but with only one position available, they have to fight for it.  Unfortunately, they're too evenly matched to take each other out.  Solution?  They go after Miki and Saionji.

Bean Bandit does his traditional schtick (without Rally this time), and complains about the lack of Pocky.

And now, another commercial, this time for a wish granting service - and somehow, I doubt Belldandy would be associated with it: "You don't really need your soul *that* much, do you?"

Witch Hunter Robin comes out with a brand new superhero: KikkoMan!  Yes, the soy sauce, with backup dancers costumed as fish and flames.  You have to wonder if these folks were smoking some of Hideaki Anno's stash to come up with stuff like this.

The Not Ready for Bandai Players have Yotsuya and Akemi trying to convince Kyoko to dump Godai.  Just when she's almost persuaded (and to start seeing Yotsuya instead - talk about a smooth line!), who should rush in to break up this travesty but... Nabeshin?!  But he's not here to put Kyoko and Godai together, no; he seems to have her confused with the love of his life, KumiKumi.  It takes the Great Will of the Universe to step in, shoo Nabeshin off and reset things.  And this time, Yotsuya thinks better of trying to seduce Kyoko.

Chii and Akari Unryuu complain about men.  Chii, that they are 'always trying to push my buttons;' Akari, that her boyfriend 'is lost without [her].'  It's because of him that she doesn't get into the anime - she was following *him* to the TV station.

Nabiki has her own troubles trying to deal with the InuYasha cast.

Vash the Stampede discusses what it takes to be bishonen: good looks, cool poses, cool weapons, sharp hair, awesome threads... and it's at this moment he receives a UPS parcel from Meryl Strife.  "She loves me so much," he murmurs smugly as he opens it - only to get hit on the head with the word "baka".

The Lupin gang are going to an anime convention: "Why?" asks Jigen.  Simple, is the reply, we need the R&R, and the cute girls.  So they get their costumes: Jigen as Wolfwood, Goemon as Harlock - and then Inspector Zenigata makes his appearance, only to be slammed by Lupin's Gundam.  Jigan tosses Zenigata the prop he's supposed to carry, and the Lupin Gang becomes quite literally the cross the Inspector must bear.

The University of Minnesota does a sketch complete with subtitles:  It's Guu!  "I'm not wearing any pants," she deadpans in Japanese.  Wakko Warner, call your office.

Domo-kun, a large piece of burnt toast with a gaping Kimura-esque mouth, stars in the next sketch: 'For the Love of Domo-kun'.  He's not a big hit with the ladies, farting loudly before his first prospective date, and knocking over the next accidentally.  The third chance stumps the narrator, as she's no princess, but rather... 'a queen'.  But as long as Domo-kun doesn't know any different, it's a reasonably happy ending.

Argo and Camille from G Gundam come out, carrying Haro (the pale green spheriod mascot of the series)  Camille goes berserk when Haro doesn't respond to her, until Argo smacks 'her' with it.  Camille finishes with a disclaimer that 'no Haros were injured in the making of this [crap]."

A couple of Final Fantasy girls come onstage to warn everyone of a monster destroying cosplay cliches, then run off when they realize they'd be the first to go.  Pocky jokes and 'all your base are belong to us' are no match for the fearsome might of... a suddenly forlorn Domo-kun.  There is an odd silence as he stands there, until someone utters another dread cosplay cliche: "Dance! Dance!" and the music starts, Domo-kun gets jiggy with it.  "What is this," mutters the MC, "the year that Domo-kun gets some?"  Apparantly...

A Weiss Kreus character eats a Pixie Stix, goes hyper, and turns into... a bunny girl?

Proof that all anime doctors/professors/scientists all look alike: a guy in a lab coat plays, in quick succession, Doctor Light from Megami Universe, Professor Oak from Pokemon, and Professor Tomoe from Sailormoon.  I figure we're just lucky he didn't try to play Doctor Ogekuri...

A guitarist stops playing, and the anime girls walk out on him; someone's cell phone goes off, and it sounds better.

Nick Wolfwood bemoans the lack of cigarettes or Pocky, but fortunately, No Face can produce anything.

A couple from Mahou Tsukai Tai do a handful of 'parlor tricks', much to his disgust, including pulling soap out of his hat.  She, on the other hand, mixes her anime up: "Moon Power Makeup!" and there's a *cabbit* in her hat.

Xellos takes a turn as the Crocodile Hunter, but is eventually attacked and driven offstage, to be replaced by a laughing Naga and... "two Xelgadises in drag in one cosplay," mutters the MC.  "What's the world coming to?"

Noriko of Fushigi Yuugi distributes awards to the rest of the cast (including himself as the prettiest) - evidently, Miaka ate several of the awards beforehand.  And I can't tell which, but one of the brothers has a real foul mouth, constantly getting bleeped as he talks.  Yes, they're using prerecorded dialog, which, considering the microphone problem, was pretty smart of them.

The 'Pocky Brigade' announces that two forces will rule the world: Pocky and doujinshi.

A J-rock group in elaborate Victorian costumes keeps getting their music changed in mid-stride; as if it wasn't hard enough just to dance in those 6-inch platform shoes.

Wolfwood and Wash apologize for not having a better sketch - apparantly the gun battles and dancing bears were way over budget - so they prepare to do Trigun as interpretive haiku.  Suddenly, Vash has a better idea - and leaps into Wolfwood's arms.

The cast of X decide to take some time off at the bathhouse of the spirits.  Unfortunately, one of the girls can't check her sword at the door; apparantly, it's glued to her hand.

Hideki has gotten a new persocon - got it on eBay, he says - and hooks Chii up to it to work a file transfer.  Chii starts posing provocatively, much to Hideki's chagrin: she's starting off by downloading his online doujinshi collection.  As Chii announces "file transfer 1% completed," Hideki and Shinbo decide to head out for sake.

Something called the Angel Sanctuary Project appears basically to be dancing without music - which more or less amounts to running around on stage - and eventually devolves into fighting and/or wrestling.  I'm probably missing something, here...

Vampire Hunter D closes the cosplay with a 12-person sketch so complicated I can't even follow it.

***

In the 'brief intermission' during which the judging is being done, most people head out almost immediately.  We stick around more out of a sense of reporters' duty than any other reason.  As we wait, Konatsu flips through the program guide to establish whether or not the rules and penalties for line jumping are what they claimed.  Lo and behold, they are.  So I was right to go to the end of the line.  I still think it's a bit mean-spirited, but they gotta apply it evenly.

Of course, my kunoichi also points out a rule prohibiting any panhandling, be it for money or Pocky, with very much the same consequences (ie, revocation of badges).  Now, there's always the occasional otaku, in or out of cosplay, that will be wandering the con with some sort of sign: "Will hug/kiss/sing/do artwork/etc. for Pocky," but at this con, it's been damn near epidemic.  Hell, I think I saw a sign somewhere saying "will do yaoi scenes for Pocky".  If the con were serious about enforcing its rules, it would have thrown out a good ten percent of its attendees by now.

But then, maybe they're cutting everyone some slack because of the whole bit with the city and their refusal to let any Pocky be sold.  If you can't buy it, you gotta beg for it.

***

The winners are announced, and for the most part, they're the sketch performances.  Only Ash and the Pokegirls wins a judge's choice out of the walk-ons.  For the record, the other judges' awards go to the Fushigi Yuugi awards ceremony, the Utena/Street Fighters sketch, the Vash in Wolfwood's arms, the Otaqueens, the Angel Sanctuary Project, and the Rayearth girls.

There doesn't appear to be an overall 'best of show': awards are given out for craftsmanship and performance.  The craftsman awards go to the J-rock group, the Chobits download and the Final Fantasy XII group, in ascending order (FFXII?  I don't recall seeing that in my notes...).  Solo performance awards go to the Vampire Hunter comedienne (the one with the sleeves, evidently), and Vash's 'what is a bishonen' routine.  Group performance awards go to the KikkoMan dance number and the 'Otaqueens'.  And finally, a special award is presented to the SNK/Capcom/eBay sketch as well.  By the time the special award is presented, only two members of the group remain in costume to accept the award - either that, or the others have already gone off to the post-cosplay reception.

***

Once the judging is finished, we head back to the room - we haven't so much advertised that we're having a room party as simply mentioned to people here and there that we'd be showing stuff in the room after the cosplay, so we figure we have a bit of an obligation to be there.  Of course, if someone were to go there directly after the cosplay (ie, before the judging was finished), they'd've already come away disappointed.

For all we know, that may have been what happened to the MST encoding team, as they never show up.  Well, it's not like that stops us from showing a series of music videos, including a series set to segments of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, to raucous laughter from a few other folks who've stopped by.   

Once Paul arrives (and it hadn't occured to me that he wouldn't have seen any of this stuff, what with our not staying at the hotel and all that), we start in on some of the full-length parodies.  I offer him some of what we've brought with our cooler, but I hadn't accounted for his having sworn off the stuff, either.  Well, being the only one drinking keeps me from pulling a Misato, anyway.  Besides, I've got to run the computer showing this stuff, after all.

The problem with my collection is that, even though some of the best stuff (like 'This is Otakudom') was already shown last night, there's still plenty of good stuff to keep us going all night.  Actually, that wouldn't be a problem, either, except we're not the only ones staying here, after all.  By the time 'Roadbusted' wraps up, the sempais are getting sleepy, and for that matter, so are Paul and the other visitors.  So we close up shop at 2 am and send everyone home.


SUNDAY, MAY 18

Evidently, *I* needed the sleep, too, as it's after nine by the time I get up.  Konatsu's already gone swimming and returned.  Granted, 'Natsu-chan didn't stay *that* long...

My kunoichi is in a hurry to get us assembled and checked out; today's programming has a lot Konatsu wants to see, starting with a panel on questions about American culture the Japanese guests want to ask *us*.  The moderator mentions, for instance, the pop cultural references in Mystery Science Theatre that we Yanks take for granted, while so much of it, to say the least, doesn't travel well.  Hey... anything we can do to help.

Assuming any questions actually get asked.  Yasunori Ide (director of Onegai Teacher) and Kazuyoshi Katayama (director of Big O) carry on some friendly sniping over which series is bigger with the fans (Onegai Teacher wins out, judging from the applause, until character designer Hidenori Matsubara asks about Aa Megamisama, which he worked on.  The ovation shuts down the other two momentarily).  This *was* a panel the guests requested ACen to hold, right?

Matsubara eventually kicks off the questions by asking about all the talking in Matrix II: he only woke up when the action scenes started up.  Not too many audience members have seen it, so what questions he might have regarding what-all the characters were talking about has to be shelved.

Once again, the two directors start up.  Big O made it to network broadcast in the States, why not Onegai Teacher?  Too ecchi, apparantly.  Hey, Katayama insists, he can be every bit as ecchi as Ide.

It's at this point that ParaPara singer Yoko Ishida shows up a bit late, to a rather large ovation.  Poor girl looks like a deer caught in headlights, especially when the other guests defer to her for a question.  She does manage to ask who went to see her in concert earlier in the weekend, and of them, how many had actually heard of her.  Evidently, quite a few went despite not knowing her.  I'm not sure what that says about us.

A number of the questions are more along the lines of 'what is it about *our* culture that fascinates you guys so much?'  I suspect that even now that the anime fanbase has enlarged itself on this side of the pond, its popularity surprises its creators.  Maybe they assume there's so much that would go past us, being relatively unfamiliar with their culture and all that.  But an audience member fields the "why anime" question with a remarkable paean to its emotional depth, combined with (occasionally) spectacular artwork and the capability for literally *anything* to happen, making it a uniquely appealing medium that American animators have yet to completely grasp.  The rest of the audience applauds this answer, and I wish I'd actually managed to record his response more thoroughly.

Other, similar questions are asked: who has actually been to Japan (and Konatsu nudges me to tell my lost-in-Kyoto story from the day Hirohito died - the panel is surprised that one of us was over there so long ago.  Gee, thanks), why people get involved in cosplay (one seamstress takes great - maybe even excessive - pride in her work, and enjoys showing it off, and laughing internally at the poorer talents; others mention the thrill of recognition, which we're starting to understand with KamiNeko - we've probably had our photo taken nearly a hundred times this weekend - and a non-player admits to envy at others' constructive skill and bravery in wearing certain costumes, and appreciates it thoroughly).

Then, the can of worms gets opened: the panellists ask us about subs versus dubs.  They're actually startled by the vitriolic response, until the moderator (and their interpreters) explain the badwill generated by the early dubs in anime.  Matsubara recommends watching subtitles -  it's a control issue, he explains - and mentions that he practices what he preaches: when he watches a Hollywood film, he watches it in the original English with subtitles, because this is what the director intended.  Maya Okamoto, a voice actress, admits to having selfish reasons for preferring subs but after this weekend, having met and spoken with American voice actors, she has a great deal of respect for her English-speaking counterparts, and the difficult task of translating words *and* inflection from the Japanese.

Ide asks whether we are confused by the way love relationships are conducted in Japan as compared to America.  The response is a sort of collective shrug: what differences there may be tend to be written off as cultural matters; love itself is a rather universal emotion, after all.

By way of further explanation, however, Katayama tests our familiarity with the term 'moe'.  It's crucial, he reproves the silent audience, if you're to understand the current culture in Japan.  Literally, it refers to the change of seasons into spring, with the blooming flowers and the singing birds and the whole nine yards.  As applied idiomatically, it is interpreted as love at first sight, infatuation to the point of overwhelming, obsessive desire.  The connection suggests to me that old Carpenters' song, 'Why do birds suddenly appear/Every time you are near?/Just like me, they want to be/Close to you."  That settled, the panel signs off with an admonition to 'keep spreading the love', presumably to each other as well as of anime.

***

In keeping at least with the love of anime, we decide to take one more look at the dealers' room, to see if there might be any bargains to be had.  Let me say that, with the dealers' room across the street like this, a visit is not to be taken lightly.  You can't just duck in and duck out; it requires a bit of a commitment.  Full immersion, or nothing.

And it's worth it, right from the moment we step inside, as we come across nearly the entire cast of FuriKuri: Haruko and Naota, of course, but also Mamimi, the guy with the eyebrows and his blonde, tanned assistant, and most incredibly, Atomsk himself!  He doesn't speak, of course - that would ruin the illusion - but he motions toward KamiNeko, and gives it a big hug before they leave the center and we head into the main hall.

I find a couple of Lupin III manga at several booths; one that required at least $50 to charge, another with no limit.  Guess who I bought them from.  Also found an Azumanga art book at several booths, but had to go all the way around to discover the booth right at the door had the cheapest price on it.  Later on, when we get it out of its cellulose bag, we discover it had been marked down over fifty percent already.  Cool.

***

Still coming across more cosplayers; one is startled to be recognized as Yomiko Readman, and asks for us to take a picture of herself with KamiNeko draped about her.  Equally surprised are a trio of KareKano girls: Miyazawa, Maho and Rika.  'Rika', in particular, didn't think anyone would place her.  Unfortunately, they don't have a fourth in Aya.

***

The rest of the convention, Konatsu (a big game show fan) wants to spend in the main programming room.  I have no objection to this, and we show up just in time to catch the tail end of Iron Guest.  Bruce Lewis and Fred Gallagher are duking it out in the 'Kawaii' battle, although once finished, they both are graciously humble in their interviews while the judges deliberate.  Fred Gallagher wins, to another thunderous ovation.  I guess I'm going to have to check out MegaTokyo one of these days.

In any case, we still can try out for what they call "Fanboy Feud"; apparantly, to get onstage, you need to give the top answer of a hundred-fanboy survey.  Konatsu has to name an anime hair color; between Utena, Steel Angel Kurumi, and Onegai Teacher, the answer is clear: pink.  It's fifth.  Should have been "blue".  I don't do much better, although I think the question - how much does the typical con-goer spend in the dealers' room? - is a bit more vague.  My $200 is based on my own experience, which puts me in third place.  I forgot that I'm essentially spending for two.

So we're in the audience as the game starts, and it's just as well, as both teams still leave stuff up on the board.  Not that it always helps: no one can figure out "things that you find in a dealers' room".  Ninth place turns out to be "massagers"; guess we're not dirty-minded enough.  For "anime characters who are very smart", the teams and the audience miss three:  Ed and Ein from Cowboy Bebop and (I'm ashamed to admit it - I'm still thinking about that Yomiko Readman we'd met earlier) Yukino Miyazawa.  Doc Pearson clears one for the audience with "animes that use magic;" they couldn't get Aa Megamisama, but he does. 

In the speed round, where two players have to total 200 points, a girl is asked the following: "Out of ten otakus, how many are female".  I'm sure what she was thinking was how many female otaku there are for every ten males, but her answer "nine" nearly broke up the crowd.  Nine girls for every boy?  Even the Beach Boys didn't dream that big.  Needless to say, the team doesn't win.  But no one goes home empty-handed (and here Konatsu leans over to me and whispers a Palinesque "so we're going to cut off your hands").

***

The next show, though considerably less anime-oriented, turns out to be much more exciting.  For the �25,000 Pyramid, two girls battle it out, each getting near-perfect scores for their three series of items to guess.  So it's left up to a tie-breaker round, and the second girl knocks hers down with six seconds (out of thirty) left to spare.  The first girl has to guess all seven items in less than 24 seconds... and she does it!

So it's on to the main pyramid, and, to the shock of the host, she gets through it, too; apparantly, that hasn't actually happened for at least the last year.  Not only that, but she bests her next challenger much more handily, and takes on the pyramid again.  And wins it again, making her the first person to ever actually win twenty-five thousand yen worth of anime.  

***

And now it's about time to bring this show to a close.  Security shoos people out of the first row - that's reserved for the guests of honor - so we get the best seats in the house, to make up for missing the opening ceremonies.  In fact, Bruce Lewis sits down right next to us.

What do you say to a guest of honor that hasn't been said a thousand times before?  I wonder how many folks came up to Monica Rial, and welcomed Hyatt to the Hyatt.  For Bruce, I simply ask how he manages to go about in a suit and tie.  He insists that it's comfortable (and considering he's from Dallas, I guess it keeps him warm up this far north)

Konatsu tells me how much better it is to be staying here the whole time rather than going home, and I have to agree.  But we really haven't bothered to eat much, and we're both getting hungry.  Well, we'll go out afterward, once we've picked up Dan-chan.  Apparantly, we're not the only hungry ones, as the guests of honor (the American ones, anyway) are making pplans to head to the Goose Island Brewery after this is over.  Hmm... nahh.

***

Each of the guests gets a turn at the mike (and they're admonished not to turn the mike toward the speakers after yet another bout with raging feedback) to bid their farewells and say their thanks.  Bob DeJesus, having just arrived yesterday, feels as if there should be one more day of convention left: "Who wants to stay another day?"  In the home of Ernie 'Let's play two!' Banks, this makes him an honorary Chicagoan right there.

Several of the voice actors plug ADV with their turns, and Chris Patten says goodbye to all from Monica Rial, who couldn't make the closing ceremony.  It'd be better for her if she could: the dizzy blond voice he does might almost be considered slanderous.  Brent Weaver can hardly talk, "so you know I had a good time."

The Japanese guests are equally effusive.  Matsubara vows to work very hard once he gets back to Japan, so he can be invited back next year.  He then takes off his badge and flings it into the crowd.  He also takes the badges of severla of the other Japanese guests and hurls *them* into the scrambling crowd.  Katayama is the last to stand ('saving the best for last,' he smiles with typical mock-egotism), and once he says his peace, he flings his *own* badge before the antic Matsubara can get it.

The chairman of the Tokyo AnimeExpo2004 is invited to speak, and he announces an open invitation to all to come.  Matsubara mentions that it's to be held in Ikemoto, not too far from his place.  Tiffany Grant calls his bluff: "So you're inviting us all to stay at your place?"  He backs down quickly: "My place, it is veeery small."

Friday's estimate turns out to have been far out of line; still, over six thousand attendees is nothing to sneeze at.  With this final piece of news, MC Carl Horn closes the convention to the obligatory chorus of boos.

***

As we leave the closing ceremonies, Konatsu wonders aloud where Paul was, as we'd expected to find him there.  Well, he rode with others from MSU, after all; maybe his ride left already.  It's about at this point that he appears, having collected a few more artwork commisions, including one of Soichiro and Yukino, with Yukino dressed in the boys' summer uniform a la Hideaki Asaba.  They're standing there, all very chaste and what-not, but we know which fic this is illustrating: "If [the artist] knew what she was drawing this for..." he grins.

His parting words contain good and bad news, as he doesn't know if he'll be able to make it to next year's ACen.  What with getting out of school, with any luck he should be interviewing for a position by this time next year.  Or he may already have one, which might also preclude coming down for ACen.  While we understand that a job is important (hey, how d'ya expect to *afford* this weekend and all the spending it entails, after all), it's kind of awkward to wish him luck by saying, "well, we hope we don't see you next year, then."  I hope he understands.

He's also getting somewhat concerned about another major life change that doesn't seem to be happening.  Guess guys have biological clocks, too; what with his college career about to wind down during the coming year, he feels he's running out of chances to meet the right girl, and so forth.  It might explain in part why he's been writing lemons more frequently these days.

I wish I had something to say to him, something that would either encourage him or some strategy to find and capture that special someone.  But I really don't.  Not for him, not for any of the dozens of writers I've met through the FFML, on IRC, or in person that all seem to be nice enough guys, but just can't find romance, for whatever reason.  If it's any consolation, even Keiichi needed divine intervention.  

What he does appear to take consolation in is the fact that Konatsu and I are together after ten years, and how we'd gotten together.  To tear away a little bit more of the mystery behind us, we'd been friends in college for a couple of years before I graduated.  It wasn't until after I left college that I decided to write Konatsu, and say that if I were to settle down with anyone, it would be with my kunoichi.  It was something of a last-ditch effort; I had not been very successful in my dealings with the opposite sex, and I half-expected this missive to get the round-file treatment, too.  But I had said my peace, and could be satisfied with that.  Lo and behold. Konatsu responded with tears and a letter in return.  For another two years, we carried on a correspondant romance before marrying in 1992.  And since I know a fair number of y'all are better writers than I am, you might be surprised at the chances you might have.

Paul parts from us with a 'God willing, we'll meet again next year.'  That could be applied to his and every other otaku's quest for the necessities of real life as well.  Gambatte ne.

***

Having picked up Dan-chan from my parents (he'd had a real *fit* Friday night, but after that, he was pretty well behaved), we're grabbing dinner at a nearby restaurant.  Konatsu is amazed we're back in town so quickly, before we catch ourselves.  Well, after all, we didn't go far; it's just that it seems like it when you jump in like we did.  Only a few miles away, but worlds apart from our real life.

***

Once back at the Ucchan, I head upstairs to the computer to see what kind of mail is out there.  Lo and behold, that Azumanga fic I sent out before leaving has sprouted, and a trio of other such fics have turned up.  Not only that, but in the intervening week-plus as I transcribe this report from all those pages of notes, a number of others join in the fray. Oddly enough, prominent among them are the Lost Lurker and Jorge Pratt, two of the "Pencils" project team.  That story was partly spawned by an offhand remark I made in my very first con report about 'what if Rei Ayanami knew how the fanboys loved her?'  Now to wait and see if Rob Barba and Libby Thomas weigh in by incorporating Chiyo-chan into "A Duet of Pigtails"...

Part of me is jealous that there's so many out there; suddenly my own contribution seems so insignificant.  I know I'm not the greatest of fanfic writers out here, and to see my work buried under a mass of better fics, well....  But at the same time, I'd campaigned for more fics for this series.  So I've gotten what I wanted, and that little drabble fic started the ball rolling.  Like with the KamiNeko itself, there's a curious pleasure in being in the vanguard.

And downstairs, leaning up against an easy chair where it can be seen from the kitchen, KamiNeko - or, I guess I should say, Chiyo-no-chichi (I've just been informed of his proper name) - is smiling.

==========

Itsu mo,
Ucchan  ^_^


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'