----- Original Message -----
From: "Edward Becerra" <eabecerr@schollnet.com>
To: "fanfic" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 5:02 PM
Subject: [FFML] [fanfic] [r.5] Pagliacci, chapter 5

         Haven't _quite_ finished the ending of this
chapter, but since I'm blocked on other fics and it's
been quite some time since I posted, here's the
_almost_ finished chapter five presented for C&C.

Okay, here ya go! I've been following this fic for a while, waiting for an
update- it's one of my faves. Where else can you find Ambush Bug, Sideshow
Bob, Remo Williams and Hercules all in the same place? ^_^

No qualms about spelling or grammar, and no real story criticism, as I'm
definitely enjoying the ride so far. Couple of very minor points:

Tomobiki-cho is part of Nerima-ku. (Ref: UY TVep.#3: "Mail From Space", the
introduction of Ten) To differentiate between the UY and R.5 neighbourhoods,
you might want to refer to the Ranma gang's stomping grounds as
Furinkan-cho, which is the proper name for their district. Like I said, not
a biggie, so if you don't feel like changing it, you won't hurt my feelings.
^_^

Kevin Sorbo as Herk: You mention he's taking it easy and living on
residuals. Fair enough, but you might want to mention "Andromeda", as he
started filming that show *immediately* after Herc ended. No reason he
couldn't be on summer hiatus from *that*, though.

Anyway, that's it for the nit-picks. I loved the chapter; it reduced me to
incoherent giggling a number of times. Keep up the great work!

Dave Menard
"Cthulhu, I Choose You!"
Scribblings and Brain Droppings @
http://members.rogers.com/spghome/index.html



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