Nice one.  Just a couple comments...

--- Ken Arromdee <arromdee@rahul.net> wrote:

    Right outside the room was a guard.  Holding a
gun directly aimed at
Shinji's face.  "Thank you" said Gendo--to the
guard.  "And Shinji...  you're
not going to run."

Why the double dash?  Gendo wouldn't be thanking
Shinji here, so who else but the guard would it be
directed towards?

So, where's the tank of Gendos?  ;P

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