Author's Notes (revised 5/23/03):  In this fanfic, I use characters
and equipment from Vehicle Voltron.

Argh!  Vehicle Voltron is the devil!

Okay, it actually had a much better plot than the Lions, but the characters
are completely uninteresting.  For me, characters > plot mostly.  That's why
I like KOR so much.  =)

The unusual precautions taken for this Alliance meeting were
stunning, to say the least.  Each council member was sequestered
into a special room, where no-one could see who they were.
When someone spoke, their voices were distorted to prevent
identification.  The vote was also to be in secret.



Anonymity was essential to this particular session.

Big big whitespace between paragraphs.  Is this intentional?  It's kinda
hard on the eyes - disrupts smooth reading of the fic.

She continued explaining her plan.  When she was complete, she
called for a vote....

Hmm... kinda don't like descriptive paragraphs ending off with a trailing
ellipses.  I know you're trying to build suspense, but use your words, not
punctuation.  Just end this paragraph with a period and it will have the
same impact.  Stronger, even.

Meanwhile, on Planet Arus, Pidge relaxed into the main seat
at Castle Control.

No need for a seque like this.  Let us find out for ourselves where Pidge
is - we'll be able to figure it out soon enough.  "Pidge relaxed into the
main seat at Castle Control" is a good enough start.

And I wonder if Sven and Romelle are back from their
latest diplomatic mission!"

Woot Sven!  I love that guy with the completely hokey accent!  =)  I was
glad when he came back and re-joined the Voltron force, however briefly.

Occasionally, she had questions for him, and he had
questions for her, but perhaps they were sitting just a
touch closer than was needed to discuss their various
studies.

Nice description.

"What kind of 'compromising position,'" Allura asked,

"What kind of 'compromising position'?" Allura asked,

"Any 'men who act princely' around here, Princess?" Lance
asked smugly.

Keith interrupted before she could answer.

Again, nice way to show the various attitudes of the teams regarding the
whole Keith / Allura romantic tensions.  =)

We have loaded up a massive refugee fleet, and
will be abandoning the planet as soon as possible.

Hmm.  Evacuate billions upon billions of people?  That would require
millions of ships.  This seems technically infeasible, unless the Alliance
is planning on abandoning the population there as well.

"Earth has over seven billion people, Pidge," Hunk said.

Just a thought: it took 11 years for Earth to go from five billion to six
billion people.  Imagine what it will be like a hundred or two hundred years
from now.  20 billion?  30 billion?  Of course, you could talk about drastic
population control measures and the exodus of excess population to the
stars, so you can rationalize just about any figure you want to come up
with.  Still, seven billion seems low to me.

"The marriage of the Princess to... to that ruffian!"

Well, that was predictable.  I'd've liked to have seen the conversation
between Allura and Keith that lead to this decision.

A promising start; it's a shame you won't be able to follow up on it.  The
only real problem I see is the impossibility of transporting seven billion
people across interstellar space.  Sit down and try to calculate the raw
numbers some time - how many ships would be required, how much time it would
take.

It might make more of an impact to say that Earth was going to be abandoned
to the tender mercies of the Drule empire.  That could lead to all sorts of
angst.  =)

Anyway, look forward to seeing more, if there is any.

-Richard


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