aishuu wrote:

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Part Four: Sealed Darkness
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I am not the man I once was.

That man -boy- is dead, as dead as the autumn leaves
that fall to the ground in late October, their beauty
faded and never to return. At times I mourn slightly
for him, the sensual and self-assured youth who was
determined to revolutionize the world, no matter the
means he would have to use, but

think you should break that into two sentences.

Sometimes I look back and wonder when it all changed.
When did my perspective alter, and things I once
valued become no more important than those autumn
leaves buried under the snow? I've always been
something of a ladies' man, but when I was younger, I
couldn't even keep my girlfriends straight.

My, he drove them all to lesbianism. He must have been a real ass. ^_^

I never had a lover. Don't get me wrong, I had sex.
Plenty of sex. Tall women, short women, young and old.
As long as they were pretty, they were mine. But none
of them ever touched me more then physically, no
matter what they may have desired. I know sex and love
are two very different things, and sometimes I wonder
why I've never had the later.

latter

It's not that I'm

incapable- merely that none of those women who paraded
through my life was able to hold my attention.

And neither did any of the men.

That surprised some people- the fact that I didn't
really care about gender. Pleasure is pleasure'

stray quote mark

 it

doesn't matter how it is achieved. I took whoever
caught my attention, and they invariably bent to my
wishes.

The guys especially bent over for it.

^_^

 I am the epitome of what a man should be, or

so I have been told. I am handsome, talented,
intelligent'

another stray quote

No one loved me for

me, for

( I think)

 I wasn't worth loving.

Nanami thought she loved me above all else, but I knew
that someday she would find someone else to take my
place, even if she didn't want that to happen. She was
my sister but I

sister, but

My current lover, a foreign girl named Rachel, was the
one who found me. She came running when she heard the
glass shattering, and her shocked _expression amused
me. I turned to her, my long red hair loose around my
bare shoulders, an enticing sight, I'm quite sure,

Not when you're bleeding, unless she's into that.

but

for once I wasn't trying to seduce her.

"Sometimes I think I'm going mad..."

Rachel: Of course you are, that's why I like you.

 I whispered to

The sex was wonderful, some of the best sex I
remember. There is something about blood and sex,
something primal that stirred my instincts.

Rachel, on the other hand, fell asleep halfway through.

Miki was not one of the people I had desired. His
sister and I had, at one brief point, flirted with
each other, but each of us had been pulled away from
each other before a relationship had been consummated.
I was relieved for that, because Kozue later became
Nanami's closest friend, and that would have made
things awkward between us.

Nah. Kozue was nutty that way. :)

 But Miki....

Kaoru Miki made me uncomfortable, challenging me
simply by being. He was everything I was but lacking
my fault.

that sentence parse off a bit

But they say the darkest hour is always before the
dawn.

They would be wrong. It's darkest when there's the greatest lack of light,
whenever that is.

Those next few days were the worst. I called Juri,
demanding that Miki be held accountable for assaulting
my sister,

She laughed, since she didn't give a shit about me. I would have made a play
for her, save that she didn't tilt my way.

The elegant woman stepped towards me, her long hair
flowing entrancingly around her like a living cape.
She had always been one of the few women I had
respected as a person, yet had not lusted after. She
was beautiful, stunning'

stray quote

Surprisingly it was Miki, the quiet one, who answered.
"Hush, Nanami," he ordered, his voice holding
surprising authority. "He needs to do this."

yep. Obviously.

"Didn't she?" Nanami asked. "She was seduced by Akio."

Desire is not the same thing as evil, though it could lead to it.

I gave her a narrow look. "How do you know that?" I
demanded. I hated the memory of Utena in his arms, but
I couldn't deny it, as much as I wanted to.

"She stayed with them, Anshi and Akio... the devil and
the witch."

Devil and the Witch (since she's using them as their titles)

Juri shook her head. "None of us remembered anything.
It was only after we saw the sword that memories were
triggered, and I don't think bringing Saionji in on
this would be a good idea. He and Utena never got
along."

Only because of Anthy. She was the goal they both wanted, after all. :)

Juri walked over to us, picking up the box with sure
hands and handing it to me. "You don't like him,

Nonsense. Touga enjoyed tormenting him. :)

either. I don't know if it's a good idea..."

I smiled at her, resisting the urge to pat her on the
head like a child and assure her things would be all
right. Saionji and I had an understanding, the kind
only rivals could. He was my opposite as I was his.

And, more importantly, he was an impotent weenie.

He

would speak to me because he was unable to deny me and
the challenge I represented. Rivals never truly let
each other go; ours was an intense love that defied
words.

I turned to leave, holding the box in my hands. Miki,
though, caught my should

shoulder

ready to show his fangs. "So come back, and tell us
the truth of what you learn."

My smile widened and I winked at him before
disappearing out the door. I didn't know what to say,
but I knew I didn't want to made

make

 any promises. If

there was one think

thing

I had learned, it was the power of

a promise, and not being able to keep one.

Saionji's house was a half an hour away from mine. He
had gone to a different college than I had, but we
still met once a week for lunch usually

lunch, usually

 to discuss

everything from business and politics to our current
projects, each carefully taunting the other without
crossing that invisible line. There was nothing like a
beloved enemy, and I knew his schedule as well as my
own. He dabbled in investment, but his true love was
being a patron of the arts. He was quickly gaining a
reputation as an art critic and I trusted his taste
whenever I went to purchase something. He had an eye
for the up and coming artists and I knew that by the
time he was thirty, he would be opening recognized

openly

Sure enough, that was what he did. He leaned against
the doorframe, studying me. It had taken him ten
minutes for him

drop one of the 'him's

 to show up, and I could tell he was in

a particularly prickly mood. His eyes were sharp and I

sharp, and

One thing became immediately clear to me as I sat in
that sunroom, with the midmorning sun reflecting off
the blade of the sword. My breath quickened, and it
was all I could do not to rise to my feet and level
the blade at my friend's, my rival's, throat.

He remembered.

The bastard had recognized the sword on sight, with no
pause for unfogging memories. "

Perhaps he had never forgotten

I leaned back into the couch, and silently started to
laugh. Of all of us, Saionji was the one to remember?

Wakaba does too. Wakaba knows everything, after all. :)

Nice work. Would like to see more.

DB Sommer



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