Disclaimers at the end of the fic.


"Cats, and other bad influences"

By Steven Scott

It was a beautiful and warm spring morning. The sun beat down on Sakaki's
shoulders, but it was complimented by a calm breeze that made the heat
bearable. The girl walked briskly, as she would be a little late for school
otherwise. Normally Sakaki would ensure that she left home in more then enough
time to walk to school, but she had become quite distracted today when she'd
seen a girl playing with a puppy in the park. That had been enough to fascinate
her for at least ten minutes.
Although she was by far the tallest, coolest and strongest in her class, Sakaki
had a soft spot for the cute and adorable that could border on obsession
sometimes. She'd reluctantly torn herself away from the scene when she realised
she would be running late soon if she didn't move.

Sakaki turned into a narrower street. It didn't take long for her to notice the
cat.

It slept peacefully on top of a wall, dangling it's twitching tail down the
side. Its fur was jet black, and it wore a red ribbon around its neck from
which a golden bell hung.
Sakaki just stared at it. Out of all the cute animals in the world, cats were
definitely her favourite. She had a whole room full of plush cat toys at home
and the only reason she didn't have a cat of her own was because her mother was
highly allergic to them.
She felt horribly tempted to try and pet this cat.
This was a problem because as much as Sakaki loved cats, cats seemed to hate
her much more. For as long as she could remember, her attempts to pet the cats
around here had resulted in her getting her fingers bit at the last moment. It
never seemed to fail. No matter how happy and relaxed they looked, or how long
they followed her seemingly begging to be petted, any time she tried would
usually end with her wrapping her fingers in bandages. It was really starting
to depress Sakaki. She was starting to think that maybe her hulking size scared
them, or that maybe if she was a bit smaller and cuter they might like her
more. It was something wrong with her.
Sakaki shook her head, trying to put the thoughts behind her. She was sure it
was just something she was doing wrong after all. And this cat looked perfectly
content - it was practically inviting her to pet it.
She took a few tentative steps toward the wall. No reaction from the cat. A few
more steps, until she was in reach of it. Still no reaction.
Sakaki started reaching out her hand toward its head. She hesitated for a
moment, carefully scrutinising the cat's face, looking for any sign it didn't
like her. Then she continued to reach forward, satisfied that it would go well
this time...

Just as her hand came within a half-inch of the cat's head, it's jaws opened up
and...
SNAP!

Sakaki grimaced and pulled her fingers out of the cat's mouth. The cat seemed
to smirk at her before jumping down the back of the wall.
She frowned at her cut fingers, and then looked down at the rest of her.
"I guess... I just scared it" Sakaki sighed to herself miserably.

***

A younger girl with long black hair stood on the other side of the wall. She
wore a heavy dress in shades of white and grey and carried a long staff with a
green orb on the end.
The cat bounded down from the top of the wall, a self-satisfied and smug grin
on its face. It stopped on a crate and addressed its prot�g�.
"I hope you were paying attention, Shia-chan. This is one of the more advanced,
yet safer techniques a demon can use for destroying a human's life." It closed
its eyes and started to gloat. "Normally a tall, strong and beautiful physique
like that would be an asset to a human, but this technique destroys the
subject's self-confidence though a protracted period of complete rejection!
Eventually the subject will become completely obsessed with cats, but will be
so fearful of them that any kind of contact will be immensely traumatic! And it
will blame it's unusual appearance for it's problems! " The cat, Nyaa-chan,
opened its eyes. One gleamed, highlighting his twisted expression. "Any kind of
tentacled fool can destroy a hometown. All that gets you is a hero trying to
banish you a decade later. It takes a REAL demon to inflict this kind of
psychological pai... huh?"
Nyaa looked around. His apprentice had gone!
"Shia-chan?" Nyaa scrambled to the top of the wall and looked around to see
Shia, the most incompetent demon apprentice ever, actually bandaging the girl's
hand! She was offering condolences and advice! The mortal was *smiling!*
"Don't worry. I'm sure a beautiful woman like you will find a cat that likes
her!"
"Beautiful? Me? You... think so?"
Nyaa fumed to himself. "Damnit Shia, stop undoing all my hard work!"

(A!)



DISCLAIMERS
"Azumanga Daioh" and Sakaki are � Azuma Kiyohiko
"Pita Ten," Shia and Nyaa are � Koge Donbo
There, I think that's all of it.
I make no claims of ownership of this intellectual property, I just wanted to
borrow them for a bit.


AUTHORS NOTES
Wow, I completely forgot I had this! Even the recent rush of Azumanga fics
didn't remind me until a friend asked if I was expanding this. Just a strange
idea I had. Was originally going to label it a spamfic, but it didn't turn out
that funny I guess. So it's just a very short story. Idea was an idle thought
about "what if the biting cat was another anime cat?" One of the more surreal
ideas was Luna needing to vent after dealing with Usagi...

I said I had requests - as this short fic probably reveals, I'd like some beta
readers. The shows I'm writing are an Azumanga Daioh fusion/parody script and a
somewhat-depressing Haibane Renmei story. Also, Simpson Moon R episode 3 has
spun wildly out of control to the point where it's so long it's depressing me
and needs serious pruning...
If you're interested, give me a mail please.

Thanks

GKScotty
Visit the Simpsons Fanworks Central - http://www.simpworks.com














Omake :
Osaka tried to resist, but it was impossible. So she just closed her eyes,
reached out for either side of the little girl's head, grabbed what she caught
and pulled... causing a short, shrill scream from the unsuspecting child as her
hair got pulled.
The older girl slowly opened her eyes and looked at her prizes. "Waaaooowww!
They really are detachable!"
Koboshi just felt around the sides of her head. "Hey, my cat-ear clips!" - she
turned to Osaka, who was already obliviously putting the fluffy white clips on
and thinking of trying to fly - "Hey, give them back! Do you hear me? Give them
back! I can't be seen without my clips!"



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