Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 12 May 2003 11:22:52 -0400 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
They started to cross a bridge over a river running through the district.
Nabiki paused at the railing for a moment to look down at the water below.
It had rained a lot over the last week, and the river was bigger and a whole
lot faster than before. To her little eyes, the effect was very {exciting,
even : exciting. Even} if she couldn't {swim. She : swim, she} wasn't afraid of water. Basically a river was
like a bathtub, only bigger and faster. It wasn't something to be afraid of.
It was neat.
"Nabiki! Don't move!" her mommy shouted.
Why do they say that? The kid always moves immediately.
Nabiki woke up, drenched in sweat and holding her shoulder. There was no
lingering trace of pain, like there had been just a moment before. It took
second for her higher brain functions to kick in and remember that it had
been a dream, one she hadn't experienced in over five years. That was not a
complaint on her part. She hadn't wanted to remember what was easily one of
her most traumatic childhood memories. It reminded her of what it meant to
be helpless, and at the mercy of others. She would never be that way again.
I'd have thought losing her dog would have been. Especially after the
family received the phone bill.
Nabiki finished dressing and left her bedroom, heading toward the kitchen.
Like most of the mornings of late, breakfast would be served to the family
by Nodoka and Kasumi. Ostensibly, Nodoka was {supposedly :} helping Kachiko
become more 'motherly.' The reality was the two got along almost as badly as
Nabiki did with Kachiko. That at least could be explained because Nodoka
represented the last thing Kachiko wanted to be, and the others were trying
to turn her into it. It was probably one of the few things that made Nabiki
feel even a small degree of sympathy. If Kasumi had tried making Nabiki into
some sort of 'traditional girl', she'd balk and be antagonistic, too. But
that was where the sympathy ended. Everything else, Kachiko brought upon
herself, as far as Nabiki was concerned.
"Mine has tape on it," Nabiki observed.
"It was hard getting those messages in there," Kachiko explained.
Duct tape?
"What's that?" Nabiki asked, then caught sight of the heading on it. 'C.
Fodder Military Academy, Where We Make Boys Into Men, And The Women As
Well.'
Subtle name.
"A movie about evil homicidal lawn gnomes? Don't be ridiculous," Nabiki
snorted. "I'm thinking of something smaller. Ideally, something that will
convince an unwanted person to go away and never come back."
Evil homicidal lawn gnomes is too normal, nobody would notice.
The proprietor seemed to reconsider things. "Maybe I shouldn't sell it. It
is potentially dangerous. No, I couldn't sell it to you if you hit me in the
head with a wad of cash."
"How about if I place fifteen thousand yen in your hand?"
So she's not into Kunou impressions?
"AHHH!" Nabiki screamed at the top of her lungs, holding the phone away from
her, as though it was a dangerous viper that had sank its fangs into her
cheek and its poison now traveled through her bloodstream. Her ears pounded
with the jackhammering of her heart and made her deaf to the world around
her for a split second.
I'm a little surprised she didn't throw it across the street. That
would have made her conversation with Ryonami a bit difficult though.
"I said I was thinking of an American picture, one with that funny Pauly
Shore guy."
I thought it was supposed to be funny.
"AHHHH!" Nabiki screamed at the top of her lungs and drew back.
"AHHHH!" the shrouded figure screamed at the top of his lungs and drew back.
Shin phone home?
The {usherer : Usherer} effortlessly kept up, not even breathing hard. It appeared he
was gliding across the ground rather than running, and with the way the
robes covered his legs, it made for a very disturbing effect. Nabiki tried
running through crowds, but again Shin just seemed to flow around people,
who barely took notice of him.
When it became obvious Nabiki was just going to stand there, Kachiko reached
down and grabbed the item by one of the wooden grips. She tried pulling it
away from Nabiki, but the girl refused to let go. Kachiko tried tugging, but
Nabiki tightened her grip and tried pulling it the other way.
Which is actually the fastest way to get Kachiko to snatch it.
Kachiko nodded her head sagely. "A smart person knows when to admit they're
wrong. It's nice to see you're learning."
That's the Kachi that let Kasumi cut her finger.
Kachiko sighed dramatically. "However, since you did buy it for me, it
really is mine, not yours, so give me." She reached down and tried pulling
the hourglass away from Nabiki's grasp.
But I suspect she was watching Kasumi much more closely than Kasumi
realized.
Nabiki was momentarily taken aback. She wiped her face with her sleeve, an
old {hapbit : habit} she hadn't engaged in for years. "What do you mean?"
Shin stared at the shattered remains almost {mounrfully : mournfully}. "This is true. I can
only take you the moment you run out of time. If you've already run out
before I came along, I don't really have the authority to take you anywhere.
Our job is to usher the living, not the already dead. It would be kind of
silly to do the same work twice. That is unless you want to go?" he asked
hopefully.
I guess Nabiki has to clean up the floor.
The sound of paper tearing was followed up, "What the hell am I going to use
a sweeper for?"
"To sweep, Mother. Now open my cooking utensils. Oops. I gave it away,"
Kasumi's voice finally joined in.
"This is my worst birthday ever!"
Were they cursed too? :}b