(Whoops, accidentally sent this just to Don and not the whole list. Yay
me.)

Must I do this? I wrote a few Cartoon Cartoon/anime crossover scenes a
long time ago, with the intention of someday turning them into a full
story where the Cartoon Cartoon characters travel to anime worlds to see
why they're so superior to American cartoons. (You can see my bias, I'm
sure.) They're in script format, naturally... but they showcase some of
the funniest moments from the stories I envisioned. I hope you enjoy
them in some part, and I apologize in advance for the last one. The
"compatibility chair", on the other hand, will hopefully become a
classic someday.


JOHNNY BRAVO meets RANMA 1/2:

    Akane is breaking bricks in the backyard.
JOHNNY: Hey there, karate babe! Let Johnny take care of that for you!
(pose) (pose)
AKANE: No thanks! This is how I relax!
    Akane punches at the brick, but Johnny grabs it away and her fist
pounds the ground instead.
AKANE: Ow! What did you do that for, you big jerk?
JOHNNY: I didn't want you to hurt your hands on this hard brick. I'll
break it for you. Huh ha!
    Johnny places the brick back on the other bricks and punches it. A
ripple passes up his arm.
JOHNNY: This brick's harder than I thought.
AKANE: Are you okay?
JOHNNY: Yeah, I'm fine. I think one of the bones in my hand didn't
break.

JOHNNY: Hey there, purple-haired mama. Let me show you something that'll
turn your hair green with envy... my pecs!
    He poses, flashing his pecs for Shampoo.
SHAMPOO: Shampoo not interested in lummox.
JOHNNY: I love it when you talk baby talk to me. Goo goo ga ga.
    A huge spiked ball hits Johnny on the back of the head.
MOUSSE: You leave my Shampoo alone!
JOHNNY: Doesn't look like you've used shampoo in weeks! Get away from
me, geek!
MOUSSE: My name isn't Geek; it's Mousse.
JOHNNY: Look, dork; you've got a girly dress and giant freaky glasses.
That makes you a geek! Now get out of my face, geek!
    Johnny picks up Mousse and wads him into a ball, then kicks him into
the sky.
JOHNNY: Don't worry, sweet thing. That geek won't be bothering us
anymore.
    Shampoo bashes Johnny on the head with a bonbori.
SHAMPOO: You is one what is geek!
JOHNNY: It's all geek to me...


DEXTER and DEEDEE meet TENCHI MUYO:

WASHU: Call me "Little Washu!"
DEXTER: But I'm even littler than you are!
WASHU: (smiles, flashing teeth) It's a girl thing!

DEXTER: It would seem to me that if you recalibrate the effluvium
reciprocator to one-fourth of its current hydronium output level, your
gyration efficiency would be increased by thirty-five point two seven
percent.
WASHU: I considered that, but it would require adapting the flux
separator to rectify the protonium imbalance.
DEXTER: That's a simple matter of adjusting the oxygenate flow levels to
the beryllium tank.
WASHU: You may have a point there, Dexter.
DEEDEE: Oooh! What does this button do?
DEXTER: Deedee! How did you get in here? There is not even a door into
this lab! It is in a completely different dimension!
DEEDEE: Mihoshi showed me the way in!
MIHOSHI: You know, I've never tried this button before!
DEEDEE: Oh goody! I'll push these, and you push those!
WASHU and DEXTER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DEXTER: Thank you all for coming. As you probably have guessed by the
unusual device behind me, I have once again put my incredible knowledge
of science to productive use by creating this Compatibility Testing
Chair out of the materials graciously provided by Miss Washu's
laboratory.
WASHU: (clears throat)
DEXTER: All right! LITTLE Washu's laboratory.
WASHU: And don't you forget it, mister!
DEXTER: Now I will demonstrate the purpose of this ingenious device. Now
Tenchi, if you will kindly sit in the chair on the left...
TENCHI: (sits in chair) This isn't going to hurt, is it?
DEXTER: Oh, I expect it will break a few hearts, but there won't be any
physical pain involved in the process. The machine uses a sample of
bioradiation and brain waves to determine the compatibility coefficient
between the people sitting in the two chairs and reports this number via
the display on the front. For example, if I sit in the other chair, the
display should read zero percent, since Tenchi and I are both males.
WASHU: That's not necessarily the case...
KIYONE: Let's not think about the other possibility, all right?
DEXTER: Exactly.
    Dexter starts to climb into the chair, then pauses and nervously
edges his way onto the seat. A buzzer sounds, and the display reads
"0%."
DEXTER: Whew! (hops off of chair) Now, ladies, you can try the device.
AYEKA: At last, the world will see that Tenchi and I are meant to be
together!
RYOKO: (pushes Ayeka out of the way) No way, Princess! Tenchi and I were
made for each other!
    There is a brief scuffle in front of the chair before Ryoko knocks
Ayeka off her feet and sits in the chair.
RYOKO: Come on, perfect match!
    The display reads "10%" and a buzzer sounds.
RYOKO: What?! Ten percent? This thing's broken!
AYEKA: (throwing Ryoko out of the seat) I'm afraid not, Ryoko. I trust
Dexter's workmanship completely! I think the result is perfectly
accurate.
RYOKO: (graciously motions to the chair) Well, Princess, why don't you
have a go and see if you're whistling a different tune afterwards?
AYEKA: I most certainly will! I'm quite certain that my result will
be...
    She sits in the chair. The buzzer sounds.
AYEKA: Ten percent?! That's impossible! What hack built this infernal
machine?
RYOKO: Told you so.
AYEKA: How is this possible? I'm young, beautiful, powerful, famous,
beautiful, charming, and I have excellent skin! Did I mention my beauty?
KIYONE: Only about seven hundred times.
AYEKA: How can I possibly receive the same score as this - this - HAG?
(snaps fingers) That's got to be it! Some of her information was left
over from when she sat in the chair! So everyone who sits in it will get
ten percent! Watch! Sasami, come sit in the chair!
    Ayeka lifts Sasami into the chair. The display reads "70%" and a
bell rings.
SASAMI: Yay! I got seventy percent compatibility with Tenchi!
AYEKA AND RYOKO: WHAT?!
AYEKA: This is your fault, Ryoko! You broke it!
RYOKO: Me nothing! You're the one who sat in it last before she did!
    Veins bulge from their heads, and they start fighting on the other
side of the room.
RYO-OHKI: Meow!
    As Sasami stands up, Ryo-Ohki leaps into the chair. The display
reads "15%" and the buzzer sounds.
RYO-OHKI: (disappointed) Meow... (slinks slowly off of chair)
KIYONE: Incredible... even Ryo-Ohki got a higher score than they did.
MIHOSHI: Ooh! Me next! Me next!
WASHU: I wouldn't let her near that machine if I were you!
    Mihoshi plops herself onto the seat. The display reads "20%" and the
buzzer sounds.
MIHOSHI: Wow, what a comfortable chair!
KIYONE: Do you even know what it does, Mihoshi?
MIHOSHI: Um, no... I think it's a special chair that goes up and down or
something? Look, see? It even has a recliner lever!
DEXTER: No! Don't pull that lever!
    Mihoshi pulls the lever and the display changes to read "10."
KIYONE: What did the lever do?
DEXTER: That lever changes the device from a compatibility tester to an
IQ tester.
MIHOSHI: Wow... I was afraid you were all going to think I was really
stupid or something!
DEXTER: (flatly) We do.
MIHOSHI: Oh well. I think Tenchi's dad's chair is a lot more comfortable
anyway.
    She gets up. Dexter returns the lever to its original position.
KIYONE: I suppose I might as well give it a try.
    She sits in the chair. The display reads "90%" and the bell rings.
Kiyone eyes Tenchi seductively.
TENCHI: (gulps) (nervously) That's a really high score, Kiyone!
Congratulations!
WASHU: Hmph! Of course we all know that I, Washu, will have the highest
score!
KIYONE: (stands up) The chair's all yours.
    Washu sits in the chair. The buzzer sounds, and the display reads
"1%."
WASHU: WHAT?! A lousy one percent? The machine must be broken!
AYEKA AND RYOKO: That's what we think too! (resume fighting)
WASHU: Oops!
    Washu pulls the lever beside the chair, and the display explodes.
WASHU: Oh dear! I wonder why that happened! Fortunately, I have a spare
display right here!
    She resets the lever and quickly attaches the spare display.
WASHU: Well, what do you know? One hundred percent! Come here, lover
boy!
    Dexter scuttles over to the display and peels off a clear plastic
sheet with "100" printed on it, revealing the same "1" that was there
before.
WASHU: It's not fair! How could I only get one percent?!
DEXTER: I'm sorry, but the machine's results are guaranteed accurate to
within one one-hundredth of a percent.
TENCHI: Whew! I think that's the last of them.
    Deedee tiptoes into the room.
DEEDEE: Ooh, what a comfy looking chair!
    Before anyone can protest, Deedee sits in the chair. The display
reads "100%." Bells and whistles sound, and an organ begins to play
"Here Comes The Bride."
DEEDEE: Ooh! It plays music too!
EVERYONE ELSE: (blinks)
DEXTER: Perhaps the machine could use a few minor adjustments...
    Mihoshi swings the couple out of the chairs.
MIHOSHI: Now, I'll help you pick out a cake and decorations and a tuxedo
and a beautiful wedding dress...
TENCHI: We're not getting married, Mihoshi.
KATSUHITO: Now you take good care of her, Tenchi. A wife can be a lot of
responsibility for a young man your age.
SASAMI: I'll write the invitations!
TENCHI: WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED!
NOBUYUKI: (sits in chair) Hey, girls! Who wants to see how compatible
they are with me?
    Washu slyly puts one of Nobuyuki's dirty magazines on the empty
chair. The display reads "99%" and the bell rings.
NOBUYUKI: Hey! That isn't funny! (looks at magazine) Hey! I've been
looking for this issue! (picks up magazine and begins to read in
earnest)


THE POWERPUFF GIRLS meet DRAGONBALL Z:

CELL: Yes, these girls are indeed powerful. Perhaps their power will
suffice to complete me.
    Cell's tail opens into a giant funnel.
BLOSSOM: Bubbles, look out!
BUBBLES: What?
    As Bubbles turns to ask Blossom what she's supposed to watch out
for, the funnel snakes out and ensnares her head. Bubbles fights to free
herself, but she is quickly sucked up the tail and merges with Cell's
body.
BUTTERCUP: Oh no! Cell absorbed Bubbles!
TRUNKS: This can't be good...
CELL: I can feel the power growing inside me! Wait! What's happening to
me?
    Cell's skin begins to turn a very unhealthy shade of pastel pink,
and flowers begin to sprout from the cone atop his head. The tip of his
tail swells like a balloon, and the words "Happy Birthday" are written
on it.
CELL: NOOOOOOO! I'm turning into a sissy!

MOJO JOJO: Aha! It is the Powerpuff Girls! Now I will attempt to use the
power that I have learned to destroy the Powerpuff Girls by using the
power that I have learned to destroy the Powerpuff Girls!
    Mojo Jojo removes his turban, revealing a full head of spiky yellow
hair. A powerful aura surrounds him.
MOJO JOJO: (posing) KA...
    A ball of light forms in his hands.
MOJO JOJO: ME...
TRUNKS: Girls, watch out! He's using the Kamehameha Wave!
MOJO JOJO: HA...
BUBBLES: What's the Make-a-Mako wave?
MOJO JOJO: ME...
TIEN: It's a really powerful attack! Look out!
MOJO JOJO: HA...
    Everyone ducks.
MOJO JOJO: ME...
TIEN: Huh?
MOJO JOJO: HA...
BLOSSOM: He's still going!
MOJO JOJO: ME...
    The ball of light continues to grow.
MOJO JOJO: HA...
TRUNKS: It's going to be huge when he finally releases it!
MOJO JOJO: ME...
KRILLIN: Just shoot it already!
MOJO JOJO: Huh?
    The energy ball expands, consuming the entire island in a huge
pillar of light, which then explodes.


COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG meets BLUE SEED:

    Courage ducks into Yaegashi's apartment and turns on the computer.
COMPUTER: HELLO. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
COURAGE: Great! It's just like the computers back home! (typing) "How do
I beat a giant plant monster with a Blue Seed inside it?"
    Momiji appears on the computer screen.
COURAGE: I don't remember her being in the computer back home!
MOMIJI: The - answer - to - your - question - is - written - on - my -
panties.
    Momiji turns around and bends over, causing her miniskirt to rise
above the level of her waist and reveal the panties with the message on
them.
COURAGE: Maybe I'd better not tell Momiji where I got this
information...


ED, EDD, AND EDDY meet GUNDAM WING:

SALLY: I know you can do it, Heero. You can get to the control room and
disarm the missiles!
    As Heero runs toward the control room, four hands reach out and pull
him backwards.
EDDY: Hey, where the heck are we?
HEERO: I don't have time to talk to you! This whole place is about to
blow!
EDDY: This place already blows.
EDD: Please, we just need to know where we are so we can figure out how
to get to where we were!
HEERO: (glancing nervously down the hall) Get out of here! The whole
place is going to explode!
EDD: Explode?!
EDDY: Now listen, pal. I don't know what passes for manners in this
world, but...
    Heero pushes them roughly aside and runs down the hall.
EDDY: Hmph! How rude! I say we go after him, Double D.
EDD: But this entire facility is going to explode!
EDDY: Now that'll be something to see!
EDD: I don't think you understand, Eddy. We're inside the facility...
and it's going to explode!
EDDY: Do whatever you want, Double D. I'm going after him.
    Eddy takes off after Heero.
EDD: Why do I have the feeling he isn't listening to me? (pause) And why
am I going to follow him?
    Edd runs after Eddy.
    Heero opens a ventilation cover and begins to crawl in. Eddy pulls
him back.
EDDY: Look, pal, just tell us where we are, and we'll leave you alone.
Promise!
HEERO: I have to get in there!
EDDY: But it'll only take two seconds!
HEERO: I haven't got two seconds!
    He pushes Eddy away and crawls into the shaft. At the far end, he
can see the timer counting down. There are only five seconds left, and
Heero reaches for the lever. As his hand closes around the handle, the
timer hits zero. Heero closes his eyes and waits for the end.
SALLY: Yay! Heero did it!
QUATRE: I knew I could put my faith in you.
HEERO: Huh? But I didn't get here in time...
    He crawls out of the shaft and turns to face Edd and Eddy.
HEERO: I don't understand... because of you two, I didn't shut down the
missiles in time. So why didn't they explode?
    Ed comes prancing down the hall, wrapped in wires that are trailing
machine parts.
ED: Hey, Eddy! Look at all the neat stuff I found in that big ticking
rocket!
HEERO: What? You disarmed that missile in twenty seconds? You must be
the world's greatest engineer!
EDD: Actually, we're just -
EDDY: (elbows Edd) Yeah, that's right. Ed can destroy anything he gets
his hands on.
ED: The kangaroo is a marsupial.


EDDY: Those ungrateful pilots! After all we've done for them, making us
fix these Gundam things before they'll feed us!
EDD: Technically, Eddy, we didn't do anything helpful.
EDDY: Details, details! The point is, we need to eat!
ED: Hey Eddy! How many of these spare parts are supposed to be left over
after I fix the Gundam?
EDDY: How am I supposed to know? Just tie all the wires together and hit
the Start button!
EDD: Um, Eddy... perhaps we should consult the manual before we start
working on the Gundams...
    Eddy considers this.
EDDY: Good idea, Double D! You read the manual.
EDD: Thank you, Eddy! I'm so glad you listened to reason for once.
EDDY: Yeah, yeah. You just read the manual while Single D and I fix the
Gundam.
EDD: Right away! "Thank you for purchasing the Gundam Unit..." WHAT?
EDDY: Push the button, Ed!
ED: Okay, Eddy! Bananas for everyone! (pushes a button)
EDD: Oh dear... what have we unleashed?
    They all watch silently for several minutes.
ED: Hey Eddy, is the Gundam supposed to be breaking the buildings?
EDDY: Probably. These buildings are too big anyway.
EDD: Do you realize what you've done? You've single-handedly destroyed
millions of dollars of robotic equipment and construction!
EDDY: Ah, get over it, Double D. At least the Gundam's up and running
again.
ED: Do you think the cafeteria's still open?


I. M. WEASEL and I. R. BABOON meet SLAYERS:

LINA: It's too powerful! Even the Ragna Blade won't touch that monster!
WEASEL: I think I may have a solution. I've been studying these ancient
books of magic, and this spell seems like it would work.
ZELGADIS: (reads spell) Hmmm... that might actually work!
GOURRY: Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and cast the spell!
WEASEL: Don't worry. It shouldn't take very long to prepare.
    Weasel starts to pull various objects out of his jacket and lay them
out on the ground.
WEASEL: Magic circle... three torches of equal intensity... eye of
newt... perfect diamond... enchanted horn... small piece of metal.
Hmmm... I don't seem to have one of those.
    Lina pulls a hairpin from her hair and hands it to Weasel.
WEASEL: That does it! I think everything's in place!
    He stands in the center of the magic circle.
WEASEL: Ancient spirits of the heavens...
BABOON: I are knowing magic too!
WEASEL: Baboon! What are you doing here?
BABOON: Baboon not let idiot weasel defeat monster! I are having perfect
spell for job.
AMELIA: You know a spell, Mr. I. R. Baboon?
BABOON: Yes! I are greater magician than Weasel!
    Baboon points his finger at the monster.
BABOON: Pretty Pink Fire Ball!
    A large ball of flowers flies toward the monster.
BABOON: Oops. That one Pretty Pink Flower Ball spell.
WEASEL: Way to go, I. R.
    The flower ball explodes upon contacting the monster, sending it
into a sneezing fit.
ZELGADIS: I think it may have worked! The monster's allergic to pretty
pink flowers!
BABOON: Ha! You see? I are the greatest!



Yeah... I'm feeling about the same right now. But I'm sure there's
potential somewhere in there. Be glad I didn't torture you with my Excel
Saga mega-fusion... yet.

- Nidoking

BOSS: Excuse me while I weigh those very... weighty... choices.
BOSS: Does anyone know what "heads" means?

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