Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 04 May 2003 14:45:31 -0700 Christopher Olsen
<christopherolsen28@hotmail.com> wrote:
Later that morning, downtown in San Francisco, Peter Caine was explaining
the situation to his father. "No Pop, we can't free any of the other
animals."
I like this starting in the middle of the conversation. It allows me
to use my imagination about what went before.
Caine gave his son a glance. "I do not doubt that she is here. I sense...
great evil is about." He frowned. "I do not believe I have ever felt this...
kind of evil before." He looked at his son. "A Japanese {Demon : demon}... you said?"
Peter shrugged off his father's hand. "I'm getting to the bottom of this!"
He walked swiftly in the direction of the Cat {house's : House's} main doors.
< An English tour group I suppose.> Ami reasoned. < The guide's English is
very good.>
And I thought she was in the US. :}b
Ami rose with only slight difficulty and began to pace her cage in
agitation, something burning deep within, her tail swishing behind her. <
This... is not good, not good at all. What am I doing here... wherever this
is? How long was I asleep for?> She moved her neck slightly up and down. <
Still hurts, but not {barely : nearly} as badly... I suppose It's been a day or two at
least. Why was I transferred here? I'm sure I was at the Tokyo Zoo the last
time I was awake... They must have drugged my food for the plane flight.>
From there her fantasies had taken many different paths. Johnathon had not
been married at the time, she had felt no guilt at the dreams, although
after his marriage to Kasumi she had filed that particular fantasy away. Now
however, she found herself remembering each of those fantasies in great
detail.
In all of them, naturally, her English improved a great deal.
Ami shook her head once more, forcing herself to stop. < No! It's not
right!> Her mind, however, simply threw up alternate fantasies in place of
the ones she was trying to ignore. Ryoga-sensei's image came to her and she
sighed. He WAS an incredibly well built young man... a perfect specimen of
young adulthood, at least physically, with those little fangs that seemed so
adorable on his innocent countenance. She had gotten a peek at him in the
buff, months earlier, after they had returned from the dark kingdom and she
and Mars had transformed him back into his human form. It had left her
speechless. His baby pig form was adorable of course, but when she though of
it she immediately pictured herself in her panther form, picking Ryoga-pig
up by his {bandana : bandanna} with her teeth, and then jumping them both into a furo.
< Oh{: ,} Kami-sama!> Ami realized in a sudden moment of crystallized horror. <
I'm in heat!> Throwing the male panther ignominiously to one side, Ami
rolled to her feet and stood up on all fours, quickly loping away from him
to the far side of the pen . < What's wrong with me?> Ami asked again,
berating herself. < I should have figured this out half an hour ago. The
symptoms were obvious! I can't let this cloud my {judgement : judgment}.> Agitated, Ami
paced back and forth over a short stretch of grass, keeping one eye on the
larger male at all times. < That one was trying to... mate with me. It
intimidated the smaller one, and it... knows I'm in... in season.>
Ami {catalogued : cataloged} the physical sensations she was feeling as coolly as she
could. < Oh my... I really am. My body... aches... like I'm on fire. I
haven't been this aroused... ever. It's different... much different than I'm
used to... but it can't be anything else.> She moaned softly. < Oh
Kami-sama! It's so bad. Does Luna have to go through this? It's awful!> Ami
moaned again, a bit louder, and both males perked up their ears and started
heading toward her. Ami froze in terror. < No! What did I do? I called them
somehow?> She moaned again, louder, then skittered backwards as the two
males hurried toward her even faster.
Ami turned with his and growled as he tried to mount her once more, slapping
him away with her paw when he got too close. < Oh no you don't!> She thought
fiercely, hackles going all the way up her spine in anger and frustration. <
I don't care how much this body wants it, you AREN'T my type!> The larger
male continued to circle, not taking the hint, and Ami started to get more
and more frustrated, moaning again deep in her throat as the ache she was
feeling started to become even worse. < Why? Why won't he leave me alone?
Can't he tell I'm not {intrested : interested}?>
I get the feeling that her moans sound like a mating cry to him.
Suddenly the smaller male was there by her side, growling at the larger male
and with a pounce, knocking him away from her. The smaller male rolled the
larger one over with the momentum of his rush, then leaped back to position
himself between Ami and the larger of the two males. Ami blinked in
confusion as the panthers circled one another, coming together in a blur of
fur and claws before the larger male was forced away, the smaller using a
leverage trick to bowl the larger one over and keep him away from Ami
{herself :}. After half a minute of this, the larger panther abruptly gave up,
pretending that it had just lost interest, and calmly walking off to take a
nap in the opposite corner of their enclosure.
Ami watched the smaller panther warily, as he approached her, but rather
than try and circle around behind her, or even simply coming up to groom
her, he stopped several feet away and laid down, still facing her, and
staring at her with a quizzical expression on {it's : his} face, as if {it : he} was trying
to figure her out. Ami slowly lowered herself to the ground as well, keeping
her eyes on him, and tried to rest, the constant strain she was under having
started to really wear down her nerves. Half an hour passed, and the smaller
male drove the larger off three more times, each time doing so quicker than
the time before, until the larger male finally seemed to completely lose
interest. Instead of claiming her himself, however, the smaller male panther
simply watched her, acting almost like a black furred bodyguard rather than
a male interested in mating with her.
You used gender pronouns for Midnight most of the time and I think
that is appropriate; especially when speaking from Ami's viewpoint.
Ami is acutely aware of his gender at this time.
An older{, :} man, looking slightly Chinese came up to the two younger men and
placed a hand on the new comer's shoulder. "Peter... still your anger... all
is not as it seems...."
Michael blinked twice, then nodded. "Yes it was, and we should let her know
everything's alright... we must have worried her with that little display
back there." < Ami... that's another of the girls taking classes at the
{Tendos : Tendos'}. I think I'm starting to see a pattern!>
Plaid?
Caine grinned, still not looking away from the demon. "As you say.... No
problem." The {shaolin : Shaolin} master suddenly glanced in the direction of the
panther cage with a frown. "We should rescue the young woman tonight. She
should be safe... for now. But I fear she is undergoing a trial of her
own... one that she should not have to face this young."
Ami tried not to watch them, but she couldn't help {glancing : staring : gazing} at them until
they were gone. < I can't believe they found me this quickly! Johnathon must
have spent a fortune to get plane tickets here so fast.> She frowned. <
Wherever here is... probably America... the people all sound American I
think, sort of like the American movies I've seen.> With her rescuers gone
for the moment, Ami found herself drawn back into the reality of her own
predicament. Her physical discomfort had continued to grow the entire time,
and she was finding it more and more difficult to endure, and it would be
hours before nightfall. Closing her eyes, Ami tried to hold on, doing her
best to enter a meditative state, despite her discomfort.
Ami nodded in agreement. < That's true. I still find it strange that we've
met like this. It really seems like an incredible {coicidence : coincidence}.> The spark of
hope increased, as did the fear, but her mind refused to say why.
Midnight immediately nuzzled her cheek, trying to calm her. < I won't leave
you... and I won't let Gengis come anywhere near you if you don't want him
too. I promise you that.> He sighed, reigning in his lust for her as best as
{she : he} could, the fear he was sensing from her made it much easier to do.