Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Tue, 22 Apr 2003 20:40:57 -0400 Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@email.psu.edu>
wrote:
The elder Tsukino swiftly banished her visible signs of surprise. If
Hotaru's parents knew, knowing Haruka it was likely that their reaction
was harsh. Not that she couldn't sympathize, she'd probably {ring : wring}
Usagi's neck.
"Congratulations, Hotaru-chan!" she exclaimed as she gathered the young
girl into a loose hug.
Something non-judgemental might be useful here, but I don't think
"congratulations" is quite right.
"Now Hotaru," she said in a maternal tone, "If you have any questions
{what so ever :}, please ask."
"I want to speak to you and your fianc�. Chibi-Usa-Chan, why don't you
and Hotaru speak to each other upstairs?"
The sentences don't match. First she says she wants to talk to Hotaru
and Ranma, then she gets Hotaru out of the way so she can talk to Ranma
alone.
Hotaru shook her head. "I am. I don't know if he was being serious{: ,} but
I will ask him about it."
Ranma gulped as he looked at the woman in front of him. He had given
her a run through of his life, the ten {your : year} trip, the myriad of
fianc�s, the stream of rivals, and just how they got in this mess in
the first place. Anything of relevance, that did not embarrass him too
badly, was mentioned.
The twitch {or : of} her eyebrow and the death {glair : glare} she was giving him did
not look good. Of course he was not in the best position, having a Ki
blast pointed at the lady of the house...
He let the energy ball fade and raised his hand in a futile attempt to
look non-threatening. "Hey, this ain't what it looks like!"
I guess you have to use that every chapter, but we all know it never
works.
From behind the scenes, another senshi with long blond hair whispered
in her ear. The other eyebrow started to twitch.
Quickly, Sailor Moon tacked on, "Nor will I allow them to take
advantage of innocent girls! In the name of the Moon I'll PUNISH YOU!"
Telephone, telegraph, tell Minako. Maybe we'll find out if he really
is as powerful as a senshi. He ought to at least be pretty good at
dodging their attacks.