Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][Ranma/SM] Relatively Absent: Chapter 4
From: Mark Shurtleff
Date: 4/15/2003, 7:47 PM
To: Jon Rosebaugh
CC: Fan Fiction ML <ffml@anifics.com>


At 06:08 PM 4/15/2003 -0500, Jon Rosebaugh wrote:
On Sunday, Apr 13, 2003, at 02:59 US/Central, Mark Shurtleff wrote:
Formatting Note: {{text inside double brackets indicate thoughts}}

This is far, far better than the keys that clutter many fics, but you 
shouldn't even use this. For
one thing, there's no need to mark thoughts at all. Consider this example 
>from 1632 (a best-selling
novel by Eric Flint):

Mike repressed a smile. Ah, yes. The dignitaries from civilization, 
maintaining their savoir faire
among the cannibals. They'll hold a cup of blood, but damned if they'll 
drink it.

Many people run the thoughts into the text like that. It may take a little 
extra work, but you can get a lot more result out of it.

Actually, most standard fiction novels that I've read put the thoughts of a 
character in normal quotes and the use something like >>"I wonder who he 
is," she thought<< instead of she 'said'. I normally use italics for 
thoughts when I write, since I publish primarily to my web site from a Word 
source file.  The {{...}} convention is a compromise I use when converting 
to plain text format.

underneath, female on the left, male on the right. The Nintendo and
Genesis are on the floor under the TV. If you have any favorite games

Minor note, but the Nintendo wasn't called that in Japan. It was the Famicom
(Family Computer), and they came out with lots of extra accessories that 
they didn't
here, such as a disk drive. The SNES was the Super Famicom. I don't know what
they called the Genesis, but you might want to look that up.

Genesis was the Sega Hard Drive in Japan. I'm using the American terms 
since a larger percentage of my reading audience will recognize those 
labels, and have added an Author's note to explain.

that aren't in the drawer, call and we'll get a copy delivered within a
day. The same is true for music, if you want a specific cassette or
compact disc, just call. The computer is Internet connected. The house
has a high speed T1 link, so don't hesitate to use it as often as you
like."

At this point, Ranma is staring blankly at the techno-speak whizzing over 
her head.

Absolutely correct. :)

Jun smiled as she turned towards the door; Ranma-chan was so *cute*
with her mouth hanging open like that. "If you will follow me, Ranma-
dono, I will show you to the washroom."

Is EVERY girl in this fic a bouncy ninja lesbian? Or just Ranma's 
relatives? Y'know, the
last time I read a Sailor Moon fic with girls who are attracted to their 
female relatives, it was
called "Cousins". By, I think, the good Angus MacSpon.

Actually, none of the girls are technically lesbians. They *are* all 
kunoichi at this point. Family tradition (why *do* you think Genma's so 
afraid of Nodoka? :)

{{Once you have fully assumed your position as Guardian, the ability to
properly regulate your life force usage will be greatly improved. This
particular shortcoming is the result of the incomplete bonding between
us.}}

And Eiko's mode of speech doesn't really count as thoughts anyhow.

Midori quickly signed to the other girls that she'd handle this
question. Aiko caught Doctor Ono's minute and quickly suppressed

minute shift? suppressed A reaction?

minute (mi-nooot') adj. 1. extremely small

 >>Aiko caught Doctor Ono's minute and quickly suppressed reaction ...

go back like this." She shuddered, the mere thought of *that* STILL
gave her the heebie-jeebies.

This is a run-on sentence.

nani?
 >>She shuddered, the mere thought of *that* STILL gave her the 
heebie-jeebies.<<

How is this a run-on? Now, if you had said it was a comma-splice I would 
probably agree, and replace the comma with a semi-colon. Fixed.

chan was correct; far too much has been done to her grandchild that

had

fixed.

Aiko searched deep inside Ranma's eyes before slowly nodding her
agreement. The boy had given her word, and the Yamada matriarch could

technically accurate, but confusing. If you're going to use feminine 
pronouns for Ranma
(as you did in all but one case, earlier on), you should call her a girl.

This is deliberate in this case. Aiko is *trying* to think of Ranma as a 
male, and only partially succeeding.

{{Ranma, I guarantee that the Guardian's uniform is considerably more
sophisticated in appearance than the outfit you just described, and
that there are no companion entities which accompany a Guardian when
transformed. In addition, there is an entry in my data store that
verifies that the magical girl with the talking rabbit has no ribbons
or lace or bows whatsoever.}}

Later, in a secret Crystal Tokyo conference room (ChibiUsa's bedroom at 
the Tsukino's):
ChibiUsa: Okay, so if I make you Carrot Minister when I'm queen, you'll 
put some nice lace and things
on Paragon-chan's uniform?
Star: Yep. It's just about time for her next upgrade, anyway.

HEHEHEHEHE.

One does wonder how Ranma finalizes her assumption of Guardianship. Does 
she have to steal a henshin
wand from Setsuna or hijack the Space Shuttle and take it to Pluto or what?
Also, please assure me that they're not ALL bouncy ninja lesbians. Some of 
them have to carry on the line, after all.

They're not. Assured yet? No? Oh drats ...
Also, only Tsuya is a bouncy ninja. Harukichi is a pouncy ninja, Midori is 
a drooly ninja, and Kioko is a naggy ninja.

I like. Muchly.

Thanks! Hopefully I'm keeping most everyone entertained. I know *I'm* 
having fun.


============================================================
Mark Shurtleff
email: gaijin@sfcmd.com
irc alias: Gaijin -or- togashi_gaijin
fanfiction homepage: http://www.sfcmd.com/fanfic
============================================================


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