Salvador Escriv� <vorox.seg@terra.es> writes:
There r good times to post a fic and bad times. I choose the
worst. But if I dont put this now I will probably loose it and since
we need a scape goat to clear the minefield. Well go ahead I would
love C&C on this but if you treat me very bad I�ll fall to the floor
and call you Blagerit (do not ask what is it. You will have a longer
life and better sex.) Ok on with the story.
Prologe should be either prologue or prolog
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Crystal wings Part 0
This is a Ranma 1/2 alternaverse. Non of the Ranma gang are mine
None
they r copyright of their author Rumiko Takahashi. The other
are. (In fact, you can assume that correction throughout the entire fic)
Imagine a beach. An endless infinite beach. Slowly, like a lazy bird,
we fly closer. The picture slowly changes. As we come near, there is
movement, a slow, languid wind blowing and shifting the sand. But this
is no ordinary sand. As perception focuses more clearly, we see. We
finally see. It is not sand but something else. Inside each grain
there is a universe. A sphere ruled by its own laws and powers. Upon
this eternal dance we come closer, faster and faster to a particular
one. This one does not yet shine as the flow of life does not yet
pulse within.
There is something here. It is so large it defines its own laws of
physics.
That's odd; is there some property of size that results in different
physical laws?
It is pondering how will infinity be in this particular
dimension. Probably a shade of blue. Slowly it looks upon the entire
universe looking for a molecule. This molecule if given the right push
and spin will create everything. (Universe creation is like billiards
only you can always fall back into quantics to explain all) In an
instant a huge explosion set all into motion. It sees that all is well
and decides to leave. Before leaving, it creates two guardians.
Should it be It or it?
Twin
angels of raging fire and absolute cold.
And this should be part of the previous sentence:
Before leaving, It creates two guardians: twin angels, one of raging
fire, and one of raging cold.
The moment It left the Ice guardian turned to face his partner. "Why
don't we pillage this universe and hit another sphere"
The fire angel shook her head. "That is not what we were created for"
"Come on you already know what will happen. Races develop, most
eradicate themselves before they know there is more life in the
universe, and then wham, interplanetary war until everyone is
dead. What makes you think this time will be different"
different?"
"Hope"
"Hope."
"I will give you hope"
hope." Basically, there should be some punctuation at the end of every
quotation.
He spread his wings and threw them at her. So
cold was the edge that light could not escape its embrace.
But she was ready and a shield of pure plasma blocked the attack. Then
her sword slashed at the wings as they retreated.
With his face contracted by agony he disappeared. "Arrggg what have
you done? You have wounded me. They will suffer for what you have
done. Try to catch me in the time lines"
If he disappeared, who is saying that?
Through several millions of years they battled each other. Several
planets were destroyed in this war. But that first hit had done too
much damage and it was a loosing battle. At last he was cornered.
losing
He came in an icestorm to a world devastated by war. A sirens call
siren's
drove him here. It was a world almost devoid of life but very rich in
magic. Maybe he could find something here to change the tides. But she
was close on his heels. A huge meteor came down crashing on the
planet. And she emerged upon shearing waves of heat. The people of the
city watched stunned as the titans engaged in a mighty clash.
"This shall be our final encounter cold one"
"Why? I only wanted more. I wanted power for my shelf.
self.
KASUMI: Oh, I don't know. I might go conquer the world on behalf of my
pantry shelves, someday. Nobody but me ever thinks of the pantry.
Is it not
better to live free for a single moment than to be a slave for
eternity"
"I do not judge nor care. There is no place were you can hide in this
universe" With this words she drew her sword in a deadly arch.
arc
But he was not paying attention. An incredible possibility had
occurred in his mind. To leave. To escape to another universe. But it
would not be easy. Gathering his essence he projected it into one of
the creatures nearby while using what power he had left to open a
portal to the exterior of the sphere.
The first thing he ever said was about leaving this universe, though.
The fire guardian was confused. Her duty was complete. But in his last
moments he had opened a portal even when he did not have time to use
it. While she was pondering his actions she did not notice a small
actions, she
Space. An endless canvas in which time paints. And it paints a lot, it
redraws the whole universe every second of eternity. If someone could
take a look at the results They would think "This is the work of the
they
greatest genius or the greatest idiot". But in this great picture
there is something of interest to us. It is a sphere.
It was a great crystal cocoon floating trough the vast expanses of
space. Inside was a creature. Once a being of great power it was a
shadow of his former self. It had had to posses a human body to
survive and escape its enemy. Now it was busy adapting the body to
better suit his needs. It had been the body of a male human. A mage
specialist in curses and teleportation.
human, a mage specialist in
The body was very frail, as
all humans, but it would offer an extra layer of protection. And
better yet some creatures he had seen at the higher planar levels of
this universe may pause at killing an innocent. O this body so crude
and simple. As it senses were so limited simple things could become
pleasurable. One had to concentrate to feel all the skin but it came
with a tingling feeling.
Is this 'one' as in 'one sense allowed him to feel all of his skin,
but...' ? That sentence is confusing.
The eyes could barely see the middle spectrum
of light. But that same light could play tricks on them. You could not
judge distance with only one.
The second person there seems out of place.
Even the strangest one smell. All it is
a very simple chemical analyzer. But it could bring feelings and
memories. Hearing and taste were fascinating mysteries it had not yet
explored.
But even now it was weak. It needed a place to rest to regain
power. It extended his senses and found a suitable place. A small star
system. The third planet had very low magic readings but incredible
,but
life ones. "It may take me awhile but I will absorb all life and
magic in the planet and start to regain power. Whatever those powers
turn out to be."
power/powers semantic mismatch. Perhaps 'However that power manifests
itself.' ?
He had not yet approached that additional
problem. In his escape he had entered a different universe and his
powers had been affected. He did not yet know his new abilities in
this sphere. He had crossed the magical planes of this sphere a fast
as possible. The had been very different than those he came from. In
his home sphere there had been only two great beings. Him and the
Himself
Why the sudden change from neuter (it) to masculine (him)?
enemy. Here on the other hand, infinite beings existed. "Let the power
be divided. It will be easier to kill them in small quantities and
steal their power." "Well I can always fall back upon your puny
magic." The soul of the mage bristled with fury. -How had this spirit
possessed his body? What had happened?- "Do not tire yourself
human. When I regain power I will eradicate your presence from this
body." He was examining the knife the human had been carrying. It had
a great power but it was just a battery and he had no way of
recharging it. It was full of magic specifically attuned to curses. As
he could not yet absorbs the mages soul with guaranties he could not
absorb... guarantee (and I think 'certainty' fits what you're saying
better).
yet access his powers but all will come in time. The knife would make
a powerful one shot weapon.
As the crystal sphere came closer to the planet he started to study
the planet with his higher senses. It was almost covered with
water. The dominant life form was turning out to be. Humans!
turns out to be ... humans!
So this
planets was the counterpart of the one I come from. Interesting. I
will try to make some of them my followers and kill the rest to gain
power.
I'd suggest delimiting this to make it clear it is his thoughts.
As he came near he willed the cocoon to stop....
Nothing.
He discovered something new. Fear. His body was trying to tie its
bowels in knots. The hands began to tremble. It began to feel
cold. And the crazy thing was loosing water through the skin.!! "I
Have no time for this." He tried again. No result. "This can not be
have
happening. Have my powers changed so much? I may not survive the
impact." He began to think in a way to escape to survive. But as he
did not know his new limitations he began to lose hope.
-This is what you get for stealing my body-
"Silence human. Enjoy your last moments as you will die with me"
-Shit. Please tell me that reincarnation works. Dam.-
Damn
"It did in our sphere. But I do not know here."
-Make a plan. Aren't you a spirit or something?. Do those wings work?-
"We are making atmospheric reentry. At my actual power level I would
current power level?
be fried the moment I broke the cocoon. And about the wings I do not
know if they work."
"Why do you bother, you will erased the moment I gather enough power."
-Ill take future erasure over certain death. So you are going to sit
here and die?-
I'll
"No I will wait here and see if I survive the landing"
That seems remarkably calm and friendly dialogue for a Malevolent
Creature from Beyond.
Moments latter the friction with the atmosphere started to raise the
temperature and a deep rumble was heard. The creature was busy
controlling the body as fear had led to panic and hysterics was asking
for its turn.
The cocoon reached terminal velocity. It was now glowing pure white
from friction. The light could be seen for kilometers. It was going to
land in what would latter be known as China. Some of the locals saw
it
later
and thought it was a sing from the gods.
As the ground came nearer the creature thought how ironic the
situation was. To die after so much fighting. So close. So...
Sugg: 'It had come so close. So ... '
The train of thought never ended as it flew of its tracks with the
impact. The crystal cocoon shattered into a thousand pieces. The
beauty of the sight was breathless. So was the danger. Incandescent
shrapnel scoured the mountain side in a glittering rain of death. And
a deep wound was made, a small valley latter to be named
Jusendo. The
later
creature was thrown aside like a broken toy in the fury of the
crash. And landed with a wet sound.
Minutes passed without a sound. The animals had fled the site afraid
of the terrible fury raining from the heavens.
Then suddenly figures broke from the cover of a nearby forest. They
were humans. Holding what could be called tools only if one knew what
they would eventually be. Slowly and fearfully they approached the
crash. A sound made them turn. A creature was rising a few meters
away.
The creature had survived the crash. But it could not take comfort on
the fact. "Arrrggg the pain" The same senses that had fascinated it so
were now hammering it mercilessly. The eardrums had burst. The mouth
was sour with vile and vomit. The smell of burning flesh and blood was
overpowering. The body was coursed by shivers as shock, injury, blood
loss and internal chemistry warred for dominance. Even sight did not
work as one of the eyes had been pierced by a crystal shard. It
noticed the group of creatures surrounding it and panicked. "You will
not kill me." It tried to summon its powers and kill them were they
where
stood, but nothing happened. "No, no, this can not be happening." It
shouted its disbelieve as it fell to the ground. Something cut into
disbelief
its leg. As the creature saw what it was, a wave of relief washed over
This gets a bit confusing. The creature survives, surrounded by
speakers, and then you refer to the creature? I'd suggest referring
to the proto-humans as that, or hominids, or beasts... just something
besides creature.
it. The knife, the curse knife of the blasted mage. Holding it in its
right hand it shouted. "I curse you. I curse you for all eternity. To
be as corrupted and deformed as I see you. You shall live hiding away
in dark places. Feeding, breeding and living shall be the same to you,
just a mean with which to spread the curse I now give you. You and
your descendants shall suffer like the filthy monsters you are." Then
suddenly everything stood still. As the curse worked to rewrite
reality a sound started. It was the deep sound of a cataclysm. A sound
so great you do not hear it. You feel it as it goes through you and
resonates with everything around you. It was a scream. The countless
souls that were being condemned were shouting. A primal scream beyond
words or languages. A scream of outrage against the crime that was
committed.
Again, you shift into second person here...
The humans started to run as their bodies started to change. Screaming
and screeching mixed in sounds of fear. Foot, claw, talon and wing
looked for a way to escape. They escaped, deformed and scarred they
ran to the ends of the Earth were they prospered and grew, some good
some bad, they became creatures of legend and myth. Living dreams and
nightmares.
The creature started to limp towards a cave in the mountainside. It
was smiling. -That will teach them fear- it though- And when I wake up
thought
they will be more treatable. And about this body I am going to take
treatable? Perhaps 'tractable'?
away all this useless parts that itch, pain or otherwise.-. It did not
notice the knife falling from its limp hand.
*****************************************************************************************************************
Personal preference only here, but I think that's a bit long for a
separator. (113 *s, by my count)
Several hours later a group of 5 women came out of the forest. They
had come from their village to explore. A few hours ago some monsters
had attacked them. The men had been away hunting and there were only
women and children. Fearing for their children the women of the
village had rallied after the wife of the chieftain. The monsters had
been driven back. The women had been preoccupied for their men. They
were out and did not know of the danger. A scouting party had been
formed and they set out to find the hunters. They took Whasa-by with
them, the village witch. The trail had led them here. Were the star
had fallen.
Where
Wary the women advanced. The place was destroyed. In the middle there
Warily (alternatively, 'wary, the women advanced.')
were items on the ground. Clothing and weapons were scattered about.
<The monsters have attacked our men and killed them> said the
youngest. <Silence little one> said Whasa-by <I do not see
blood. They would had come down fighting. This stuff is
would have gone down fighting
abandoned. Why, why would they abandon their weapons and clothing and
not return home?> Further up the valley she spotted something. It was
a knife. But it was a strange design. It was all made of metal. The
blade was serrated backwards. The guard looked like the mouth of a
mythological beast. The handle ended in a horned skull. It looked
evil. Whasa-by came closer. She picked up the knife and then it hit
her. If any other on the women had done so their mind would had been
destroyed like sand before a storm. But she was the village witch and
had been trained in this matters. What she saw was a crime. A
monstrosity so vile it was almost beyond comprehension. This estrange
strange
Well, it's made me curious as to the direction it's headed in.