Jeremy Harper wrote [FFML] [FanFic][Ranma 1/2][Revised] Kasumi the Wayfarer
Chapter 3

     Good story and descriptions.  I'm glad you're continuing with it.
      Few nits:

 He sat in his small garden for a time, looking at his flowers in the
moonlight. He fidgeted a little, unable to relax. Giving up, he prepared and
ate a simple supper then sat in his library with a glass of wine and a
collection of Edogawa Rampo.

 The wine did little to sooth his restlessness and he found that he could
not concentrate on Rampo's cunning mysteries, no matter how hard he focused.

That should be soothe, sooth is truth

 In a fit of irritation he slammed the hardcover shut and set it back in his
bookcase. Tofu stalked back out to his garden, gazing at the pale blooms,
hands clasped together behind his back, his usual serenity of soul
disrupted. A cool night breeze washed over him and he sighed, deep and
forlornly.


 "Aye," answered a crewman. "We were only a few miles up river from it when
we moored last night."

 Tofu nodded in acknowledgement.

acknowledgement -> aknowledgment

 The two sailors headed for the deck to help with the docking. Tofu told
Marten to attend Danno, then walked back to his cabin.

 Tofu sat down on his bunk, rubbing at his temples. His duties discharged,
his headache now returned.
 Frowning in annoyance, he closed his eyes, pulled his legs up into a lotus
position and he began to take deep, rhythmatic breaths, entering a peaceful,
meditative state.

rhythmatic -> rhythmic or rhythmical

 The pain lessened, gradually disappearing. It finally ceased altogether,
and Tofu sighed.


 "Pah! What's to see in Ulthar? Naught but fishermen and cats! And the lands
around it are perilous: treacherous zoogs and queer magic in the Echanted
Forest;

Echanted -> Enchanted

the Mountains of Magnatz swarm with deodands and witch-folk; the Skai Forest
is an abode of brigands and shadowed by dark mysteries." Jaegar shook his
head.


 "Err, no. I was planning on finding a tavern or restaraunt in Ulthar.

restaraunt -> restaurant

 I've heard that there's several excellent ones here, catering to the river
and caravan traffic."

Otherwise excellent.  I'm looking forward to the next chapters.   I love
seeming Kasumi as something other than a household appliance or a suitor for
Ranma.

Daniel Gibson



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