Subject: [FFML] Re: [WWW][Ranma] The Clan and Original Fiction
From: "Daniel Jess Gibson" <dan_s.comments@worldnet.att.net>
Date: 4/4/2003, 11:45 PM
To: "FFML Post" <ffml@anifics.com>, "C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net>


----- Original Message -----
From: "C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net>
To: "K'thardin" <kthardin@tenchifanart.com>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 03, 2003 8:41 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [WWW][Ranma] The Clan and Original Fiction



At 08:02 PM 4/2/2003 -0800, K'thardin wrote:

 >C. Jones wrote:

 >> C&C is very welcome on both 'The Clan' and 'Gabriel', but the plots on
both
 >> stories are pretty much final.
 >>
 >> I hope you enjoy them.

 >Ah, then you probably don't want to hear that you've neglected the
abilities and
 >personalities of several of the other characters in favor of a more
Ranmacentric
 >story.

This *feels* like an attack. I don't think it is, and the message contains
very good C&C, so I'll try to treat it like that. Maybe I'm just being
oversensitive.

 >I rather enjoy the use of the side characters such as Nodoka and
Gosunkugi.
 >However, you've neglected to put in just what kind of powerhouse Ryouga
is (for
 >example)...especially when angered.  I'm pretty sure he'd be hunting
them
down like
 >Ranma and dealing blows of equal or even greater magnitude against them
when made
 >truly aware of the situation.

As was I intended it. Despite their strengths, the others are ineffective
against the raveners.

 >You had a good chance here to describe an all out brawl here, with
detail
level and
 >characterisation that could have been equivalent to the last few
chapters
of "Duet of
 >Pigtails" before the rewrite (that brawl scene was awesome...I've only
seen one other
 >like it, and that one on another Ranma cast vs the forces of demonic
hordes fic whose
 >name escapes me presently), but...you didn't, focusing instead on
Ranma's
skill and
 >characterisation almost exclusively in such matters.

 >But then you pretty much said that the plot was final, so I probably
just
wasted my
 >time. ^^;;

      Part of the problem isthere is a huge difference between not wanting
to change the plot or the characterizations you've decided on, and giving
the reader believable justification for those changes.  For example for most
of the Manga, Ranma would never kill, then he kills Saffron, a very out of
character act, for a very good reason.
     If Kasumi starts sneaking out of the house at midnight, and sacrificing
Sailor Sensei to the IRS, there has to be a good reason that the readers can
see and identify.  As well as explanation why no one has caught her doing
this before.
     This isn't a demand or a request to change the plot or
characterizations, it is a demand to give better justification for your
changes, or to reveal those reasons in a more accessible and understandable
way.
     As writers we know all the facts of our world, we have to show these to
the reader, eventually.  So the reader will understand why these unexpected,
unpalatable or simply confusing things are happening in the way they are.
     For two cents worth, it's worth what you paid for it.

Daniel Gibson


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