C. Jones wrote:

C&C is very welcome on both 'The Clan' and 'Gabriel', but the plots on both
stories are pretty much final.

I hope you enjoy them.

Ah, then you probably don't want to hear that you've neglected the abilities and
personalities of several of the other characters in favor of a more Ranmacentric
story.  I rather enjoy the use of the side characters such as Nodoka and Gosunkugi.
However, you've neglected to put in just what kind of powerhouse Ryouga is (for
example)...especially when angered.  I'm pretty sure he'd be hunting them down like
Ranma and dealing blows of equal or even greater magnitude against them when made
truly aware of the situation.  Even with this last chapter, the focus in the melee
combat was only upon Ranma...token notices being given to Ryouga, Ukyou, etc...

You had a good chance here to describe an all out brawl here, with detail level and
characterisation that could have been equivalent to the last few chapters of "Duet of
Pigtails" before the rewrite (that brawl scene was awesome...I've only seen one other
like it, and that one on another Ranma cast vs the forces of demonic hordes fic whose
name escapes me presently), but...you didn't, focusing instead on Ranma's skill and
characterisation almost exclusively in such matters.

But then you pretty much said that the plot was final, so I probably just wasted my
time. ^^;;

K'thardin
"One shall stand, one shall fall."
	-Optimus Prime


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